Would dating be easier if we brought back traditional gender roles?

Would dating be easier if we brought back traditional gender roles?
Pure curiosity, and I'm just looking for your personal opinion.

So really the woman would do all the cooking, cleaning raising the kids, and the household chores. The man works and brings home the money but is still the 'protector' of the family. That also means men would have to pay for dates and pay for their wives upkeep like hair, nails, clothes, etc. since she wouldn't work or, if she did, it would be a more "feminine" job with no authority like a secretary or something and she wouldn't have a lot of money. If you want to lump teacher and nurse in there, you can.

I know financially it would be difficult in 2018, but I'm only talking in terms of being with someone, not necessarily being able to afford a luxurious lifestyle. Being honest, most families with traditional gender roles in the 40's and 50's didn't live a luxurious lifestyle, either, so that's not really anything new.

But do you think dating would easier?
  • Yes, it would be easier.
    Vote A
  • Yes, it would be easier but only for the men.
    Vote B
  • Yes, it would be easier but only for the women.
    Vote C
  • No, it would not make dating easier.
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
I think some people are getting dating mixed up with whether or not you’d be happy. I’m not asking if it would make you happy. I’m asking would it be easier to find someone to date and marry.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It would make dating so much better, as well as everything beyond.

    I am old fashioned in my thinking. I think life was better when men and women were practicing their gender specific roles. We are different and for good reason. There is nothing inferior with traditional roles and their respect to ether gender. For instance, a man opening a door for his woman, picking her up, asking her to marry him, calling on her to ask her out, accepting her for who she is, appreciating her body in a natural state, and actually making love to her instead of all the violent and unnatural sexual ways now days. A woman on the other hand is tender and nurturing by her very nature. She is kind. When she feels ready (not being pushed) she wants children. Gender roles are still important even if pop culture and stupid laws reject such things, I will always feel and act traditionally.

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    • Yes, it would be easier to marry. More importantly, it would be better for the long term, in having a more meaningful connection with the person I marry.

  • More women would want families and not careers so YES it would be easier for MEN. However... men still have to court the woman and in 2018 they are pretty clueless on how that is done. The below statement was written by a male guest writer in SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE in 1959.

    "Growing up has taught me one thing: there is an infinite number of ways by which a boy can meet a girl. I've also found that once he meets a girl -- and becomes interested in her -- a boy must indulge in a sly, artful practice called pursuit."

    Men back in the day were good at their role and women were even better. That was then this is now. The roles wouldn't survive in 2018.

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    • Men definitely got worse at dating, but so did women. The idea of a "pursuit" is to test the man. Women nowadays don't tease and test - they shittest. Throw curveballs, or straight up kick you back if they don't like you immediately. You can be the most confident dude in the world, a no is a no. And a sexual assault is a sexual assault. So we are at a point where everything is working according to women's rules, but women don't even know the rules. People are clueless about courting and tactful approach, and 90% of dates are about as complex as "let's eat something and then fuck"

    • @Benedek38 Don't worry the ROBOTS are coming ! Ha

Most Helpful Girls

  • I gather it would be easier because the framework is set. The roles are set. Your part and the expectations of you is set. I'm unsure if it would be "right" though, because it really doesn't fit everyone.

    I like parts of the traditional gender roles; I love the way they moved within the relationship, but I still want the freedom to choose. And I've never been a housewife; I've worked since I was in school and had my children in awesome daycare from they were 2.
    If I had to choose, I don't think I would choose to be home, anyway, even in a traditional gender role scenario.

    I like the traditional way in the sense that it speaks to our genetic and fundamental strengths; any change in this, any movement, will not change this. We're different and it's ok.

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  • Yeah I think it would be easier that way everyone was on the same page. If a guy is gonna take me on a date I expect him to pay, open my door, pull my chair out etc. Because that is how he should have been raised - as a gentlemen. Before this whole feminist shit started men still did that because women wanted equality (which we have if you aren't blind thanks to the women of the past not 'feminists'.) Because they wanted to start spreading that independent women shit and say you wanted to pay for the bill or half dont open my door because your dominating me. Well girl some girls like to be dominated!! Lol messed it up for the rest of us. Now this is turning into a rant sorry. Anyways the point is yeah it should go back to that but modernized slightly. The man should be the man of the house, should have the respect of that. doesn't matter if I made more or he made more it would go into each other, and when kids are involved I would take care of them because I am the mom. End of story. I am gonna treat my man like a king and he is gonna treat me like a queen nothing traditional or whatever I was just raised to treat a man like that. You cook, (he can too but most if you are not working and he is when he gets home the house should be clean and food ready or almost done etc) you pamper your man because that is what he deserves because I know damn well the man I am gonna be with is gonna give it back.

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    • I don't know why are you so bitter about feminism, you'll get 1000s of men of the kind you want but be prepared to tolerate shit like cheating & stuff when your king thinks you're all about him & he can do what he likes, that's what you'll get in today's scenerio. Remember, the way world is today coz of feminism not just because of the women who brought feminism but men & the way they took it! Most of them are not the victims of feminism but they're playing the victims, taking advantage of whole thing & blaming women & correction, "Feminist Independent Women" for being nutty enough to convert them to assholes they might be for not taking women seriously while actually that's there real side of a non-chivalrous person they can now easily bring out which they would have to have kept hidden had it been like 1950s & would have been forced to act all gentlemanly.

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    • Now back to the feminism. That was not created till the 70s BY HATE! It was founded on hate of men that is a known fact and it has just gotten worse you can be all about equality but feminism does not stand for that it stands for hate. It has nothing to do about guys feeling like victims and all to do with trying to make the women the dom sex. Maybe I am getting the wrong side of feminism but that is all it is portraying and that is all I am saying. Feminism is a joke, if you wanted equality then maybe they should be focusing on all humans no gender. That is what I am behind is human rights.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 56

  • I have to disagree with this. When a woman has her own money, she chooses the guy she wants to be with, not just the best provider she can get.

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  • Fuuuuuuuuuck no.
    Im sorry to say but women are to blame.

    Guys has there fair share of hiccups with cheating, abusive behavior, emotional manipulation, and so on. Im not denying the dating struggles women go through. But women killed chivalry, reasons for men to gentlemen, and why men should treat women like queens. Valid proofs are:

    Feminists: this whole movement dont allow guys to be men they used to be. Its hate spread equality masked with bad intent. there's good, but media shows the bad, soo.

    Past: women now days can't take compliments, they dont know how to react when you treat them nice, and sure as hell dont appreciate as they should. you'll get the " your too nice" " i just want to be friends" " my ex used treat me like shit so im not used to-" they looking fir mr. wrong basically.

    Confusion: now days by kissing her hand, pulling the chair out, holding the door open, put your coat down so she won't walk in the puddle, giving up your seat on the bus for her, giving her your jacket when she's cold, and more are seen ss nice gestures and nowdays many many women thinks the guy likes her and she will push him back.

    Proof and more proof!
    The bad boys vs good guy. Women see this whole shit as a joke. Its predictable, boring, and no fun. They want more and they want what they can't have. While she's at home watching 50 shades of grey, she's not thinking about her to be partner. she's thinking about who bring heaven to her and the nice sweet, guy ain't on her list.

    You bring back roles but must ulter the she and he was raised as well.

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  • Yes, women have gotten absolutely out of hand. Our sex means something, not everything in life is a social construct; some things are based in biology and actuality. Let’s face it, I don’t want a woman with me on the battle field, I don’t want a woman with me on a construction site. Women are biologically weaker and if you deny that, you deny science.

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    • Physically weaker, yes, but not really in any other way.

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    • No, it is. The type of emotional is just different. Men are more prone to rage and anger but women are more prone to being sad. That’s just basic testosterone and estrogen knowledge.

    • Yeah that’s true. The way emotion is displayed is definitely different. But I’m saying to you that men will think more rationally and more free of emotion in a tough situation like if a man is being held down in a bunker during war

  • I don't see how it'd really change the dating field. I prefer both of us work to knock those bills out. We could still have that traiditonal type family that comes home in the evening and both help cook and have family dinners if we just plan accordingly.

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  • Being a stay-at-home mother use to be a full-time job. Now we have dishwashers, washing machines, dry cleaning, home cleaning crews, restaurants on every corner, and even daycares for children. Women would get bored if they stayed at home today.

    I do believe though that we should stop trying to force an equal outcome between the genders. Let men and women have equal opportunity and stop trying to disenfranchise men in order to help women.

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    • All those efficient washing machines are expensive... not anyone can buy it... and if u have money gender role is not even a issue... so the question is for average people that have economy defficiency...

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    • Developing nations generally have more traditional gender roles. I'm not saying this is always the case, or that it's not changing, but generally speaking, it's true. Women have a more difficult time finding work because the work needed is often more laborious.

    • Allie oops... u NEVER mentioned a specific COUNTRY
      ... Ur question is very GENERAL...
      Since there's no country mentioned i based my answer on the world

      Next time make ur question more specific

  • While most women won't admit it, dating would be easier for them, too. The idea is that women are hypergamous by nature. This essentially means they date men above their own socio-economic status.
    With women's introduction into the workforce, and the idea of the "working woman", women gained a rather easy way to boost their socio-economic status. However, they didn't count on the fact that men's status will not raise equally, but stay the same. So the number of candidates for women will decrease as their status increases.
    Essentially they are killing themselves with their own dating expectations.
    To put this on a mathematical perspective:
    Men's attractiveness, or status, is determined by some kind of normal distribution. It looks something like this:
    https://imgur.com/a/OIBvZci
    Sure enough:
    https://imgur.com/a/oT6ub48
    Now, if this is the density distribution function of men (M), then the density distribution function of women (W) will be:
    p=P (W > M).
    This is essentially the mirroring of the cumulative distribution function of men along the average.
    This is what it looks like
    https://imgur.com/a/9wcgOTN
    As you can see, dating is incredibly dire for women who have a high social status.
    Now, imagine that the distribution of women is ALSO normal. Meaning women around the 5/10 mark are the most common. Now ALSO imagine that guys don't want to date girls who are less attractive then them.
    Bottomline, a good portion of the female population WILL be left without a partner at the end of the day. A simple estimate, using the 80/20 rule - which was proven roughly correct by several studies - is that 80% of women are interested in 20% of men, while 20% of women are interested in 80% of men. This means that about 60% of both women and men are LEFT SINGLE. Sure enough, about 50% of the US adult population is single.

    So yeah, I think it is fair to say that unless you are looking for one night stands till the end of your life, this is bad for both men and women.

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  • I don't really care about all the roles within a relationship... but dating does seem pretty fucked. Relationships at this point are only an excuse to bang someone repeatedly over a long period of time. Back then it was part of the quest to find a suitable partner to start a family with. Escentialy people just use each other as human toilets to relieve themselves with in this day and age.

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  • I prefer not to look back at the past. I'm not going that direction.

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    • Then why did you respond? Lol

    • There are good and bad in very thing. I'm simply saying we don't need to repeat the past when the future is still uncertain.

  • Easier for me yes, but I'm the guy whose coming to your front door greeting you, for an evening out not a 20 something leaning on the car's horn to get your attention and expecting the date to pay half the dinner check lmao, Guys come on Chivalry is not dead, be a man pay for everything you cheap 20 something B@st@rd's.

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  • I think there's a reason we had the sexual revolution, etc. Lots of pent-up frustration beneath the surface. I think those things will probably always be there. Males in other species suffer terribly trying to procreate. They have "traditional gender roles". I don't know if it's enviable.

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  • Dating would be easier but finding love wouldn't be that easier. If there were gender roles people could be depressed even more. I don't know what would happen. Talking about dating, there would be too many advantages and disadvantages so we can't know without analyzing the whole story.

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    • But I still think the dating process would be easier.

  • So world war 2 broke it when we needed the women to work and they were just as good at it. Since then its been a slow grind to equality as the patriarchy slowly gives up territory bit by bit.

    As for dating thats a pretty recent courting custom that was not commonly practiced in history. So "traditional" is a small window in time people are trying to cling to and not a permanent fixed thing like people act.

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    • That doesn't answer the question but okay.

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    • Pincus (Polish Jewish parents) and Rock (Catholic) both developed the first birth control pill together funded by planned parenthood of America. Most of Pincus' other research was focused on combatting infertility.

      There are more jewish bankers because Christians werent allowed to lend money until relatively recently so by default all the bankers were jewish or misc.
      Rothschild is sketchy, most people making their money off war profiteering and currency manipulations are. We should probably watch all those high rollers much more closely as that money comes from somewhere.
      Compound interest wasn't so much invented as utilized as its just what happens when you continuously add interest to principle.

    • The three big players at the treaty of Versailles were Clemencau, Woodrow Wilson and David Loyd George. Clemencau (French representative) was the one pushing for harsher reparations. The reality is that conflict started when the German federation was founded in 1814 coinciding with the decline of the Ottoman and Austrio-Hungarian empire completely upsetting the balance of power in Europe.

  • Women's happiness has declined expediently over the last 50 years. Why?
    Because women are happier in their gender roles.

    law.yale.edu/.../...iningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf

    Living up to the expectations that men generally have to live up to is hard and women find it difficult to do, so they become depressed.

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    • that's only one interpretation of those findings.

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    • From the pdf u linked: " A number of important macro trends have been documented - decreased social cohesion (Putnam 2000), increased anxiety and neuroticism (Twenge 2000), and increased household risk (Hacker 2006). While each of these trends have impacted both men and women, it is possible for even apparently gender‐neutral trends to have gender‐biased impacts if men and women respond differently to these forces."
      This is an alternative explanation/theory, not a fact. Likewise, your conclusion is simply your interpretation of the results presented in that document (as I've repeated twice now), it's not a fact either because the data presented in this study in no way points to your conclusion. That's my point.

    • @Volvagia WHy do you think women have increased anxiety? New workloads, work stress, new expectations, more responsibilities, etc.
      This is NOT "My interpretation"...
      www.theguardian.com/.../womens-rights-happiness-wellbeing-gender-gap

      www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...n-happy-years-ago-.html

      www.theatlantic.com/.../

      www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...womens_b_289511.html

      There are endless "interpretations" which all seem to be the same as "mine".
      Your constant attempts to excuse basic knowledge show a very compartmentalized view which you don't want to open.

  • Natural Gender-Roles are alive and well... No Amount of Cultural-Marxism can suppress the Natural-Order.

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  • I am reminded of something one of the first feminists, Gloria Steinhem, said nearly 50 years ago, "What we want is a humanizing of gender roles--not an exchanging of them!"

    And you know what? She was right.

    However, what we ended up doing was something different and much worse--a *total denial* of gender roles. And this has been folly.

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  • Well it seems that when it comes to men paying Etc --> ironically all women are 'raised' old fashioned she says lol

    But when it comes to other 'old fashioned' roles like you suggest --> Now its equality she preaches 😂

    😂😂 the irony here though

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    • It’s not when it comes down to it. Men don’t want to do much of anything equally. Half the men on this site don’t even want to pay for a date. Personally, I think women being allowed to work has also allowed men to be lazy and slack off.

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    • Bro lol you need to educate yourself dear lol
      Cause you are lost if thats what you think 😂
      https://youtu.be/yKJv2o453wo

    • Take a few hours and check up on it
      The concesus is clear. And everyone knows the guy is most likely paying

      Besides this is about old fashioned gender roles
      Most women want old fashioned roles when it suits then and new fashioned roles when it also suits them there 😂

      When a girl says im old fashioned i expect the guy to pay 😂
      Right away. I know this girl is full of shit. She isn't old fashioned at all
      Just doesn't wanna use her own money 😂

  • Well I think it might make it a little easier because I think women might need to put more effort in meeting a guy.

    Cause for women in terms of surviving they kind of need to find a decent guy with a job.

    In today's standards women think they're hot shit and if men don't like it they don't need them anyways because they're independent.

    So it might be easier, but who knows.

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  • I realy don't know what dating has to do with Gender roles

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    • Traditionally men pay for everything, provide the income, court the woman, and treat her like something that is to be chased while women didn’t really have to consider anything other than can you take care of them. If not, they didn’t date you. And women certainly didn’t pursue men. In today’s society, none of that is really an expectation anymore.

      Dunno how that doesn’t ring the ‘traditional’ bell for you.

  • Honestly I think that still happens a lot nowadays, where the man does most of the work and women do most of the chores. Also, there seems to be a misconception that women didn’t have jobs in the 50’s. Both my grandmothers did, and most of their friends and relatives did. I think it’s just that now feminists are trying to get women to work all the time rather than part-time because they think it somehow makes women equal to men. The way I see it, it doesn’t what arrangement you have with your partner, as long as you have enough money, a clean house, and time for your kids.

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    • I didn’t say women couldn’t work. I said if they did then they’d have what would traditionally thought of as a woman’s job like being a secretary or something.

  • As a submissive man the thought of having to court women like that makes me want to turn to my hand.

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    • I don’t know too many women that find submissive men attractive anyway so...

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    • "even the ones who would attracted to you would only see you as a fetish, not husband material."

      There's a bunch of happily married couples that directly contradict that.

      But fine, I'll move on. I'm obviously not getting through to you.

    • Like I said, truth hurts. If I wanted a woman then I’d be a lesbian.

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What Girls Said 43

  • I think I'd be happier if we had traditional gender roles but I'm also happy working and getting a job.

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  • NO It would not be easier. Relationships back then were not EASIER lol They were maybe even more hard. Women dealt with a lot! Many women were miserable! Just ask your grandma. One of my great aunts (RIP) recently died and she had alziehmers and it developed because she lived for her husband. I can go on and on about how many studies have shown that women's health goes downhill when they are in a bad marriage. She neglected herself. It's so sad but her husband was abusive but this was the norm back in the day that was not considered abuse. She didn't even have time to eat all day sometimes because she was so busy cooking, cleaning and helping her husband. When her husband died he wanted her to die with him because he didn't want her to stay alone and find someone else. I grew up around a lot of old people lol I would hear their marraige stories all the time and these women are tough cookies! They may look gentle and delicate because they were cooking, dressed feminine and etc. but they were more tough than the women and most of the men today! They would rarely cry and new survival skills as well. Now women and men are spoiled! The fact is that relationships were not easier back in the day but many had the fear of God and they took marriage and dating seriously! They were not quitters. People now want results fast. Sorry but dating is not easy when true love is not involved and if God isn't in the center of the relationship.

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  • Its nothing as gender roles. This stupid things make women look lazy and men have the responsability for the whole family.

    Raising a child or cleaning its not that hard so she stays at home 24/7. What if they have 6 kids? The men needs at least 2 jobs so he can suport this huge family.

    At my home. We clean our own dishes. Make our bed and keep things clean and we are teached that. Both parents should work. Even kids after they are old enougj they should be teached how to make money. So they get teached how to use their own money and stop wasting them.

    And this things leave the woman insecure in life. Why? If she makes no money. She has nowhere to go. If she is abused or wantd to divorce? She can't leave because she can't afford it. And she needs that guy. Maybe she doesn't even love her.

    And the man. While he is working all day all long. His wife has fun and can even cheat him. He comes back from work and he is tired. He doesn't play with the kids anymore and doesn't even kiss his wife. He can even loose his job or become sick. what happens next? All this gender role is toxic.

    Two people should be together because they want to. Not because they want a sugar daddy ( yes. they are basically the same thing because they get money and do nothing ) or because he wants a 24/7 maid at home.

    Ask yourself all those question first.

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  • Probably no... For me, it's not about gender roles but perspective of gender roles...
    Im from a Latin country, and tradicional men feels powerful in front of women, they think they have the right to abuse or control only bc women deppends of them or even think women are lazy just for stay in home, but honestly, anyone think how tiring is made chores, care babies, and be submit...
    If people respect or give the value from every role, maybe would be easier...

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  • I mean I hate saying this because I like how much autonomy I have gained as a woman but in a sense it would be easier because their is such a complicated dance these days of situationships and defining the relationship and texting rules and calling rules and approaching rules that is honestly just exhausting. I think it must have been easier back then to understand your role in the dating process back then and know how to play it but these days there are so many blurred lines

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  • No. You know why? The female would be dependent on the males for everything such as various expenses, etc. We take care of the homes, but who takes care of us? The men. We would have to rely on even awful men, but if we were to take care of ourselves and not become dependent on men, it would be much better for us to create a better life for ourselves.

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  • I would kill myself if I had to be content with being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. That sounds horrible. I think the only people truly satisfied with traditional gender roles when it comes to dating and marriage were men.

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    • For me, it would be harder. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks women are inherently inferior.

  • Haha, no. There would be too much controversy, first of all -- we feminists would explode. Second of all, in this era, it would be way too hard financially. I agree, no one would live luxuriously; everyone would live pretty close to poverty. At least two paying jobs are what a common family needs nowadays. It's not going to be able to change anytime soon.

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  • Don’t ever say bring back traditional roles again. God I fucking hate that so much.

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    • You're 13. How would you know anything.

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    • I hate it because I don’t fit in with girls whatsoever but I’m not transgender. When I try to fit in with them it just makes me so pissed to hear things like how girls shouldn’t shoot guns and archery and the kind of stuff I personally love doing. I like hunting and that’s just what gender roles remind me of is how women used to not be able to vote or hunt and they’d always be at home with like five kids. I personally don’t understand it much more than that standpoint but I still hate it. I’m sorry if I’ve gotten this very confused but as you said I’m 13. And also in the dating world I can already tell that I’m really dominant af 😂 I start fights at school and that’s supposedly “Not how women are supposed to be”

    • @pupperluvo Just FYI, women did hunt. A long time ago. But that wasn’t discovered until quite recently. Sadly, women have a long way to go despite what people keep saying (that equality has been achieved - it hasn’t).

  • We are human, i don’t see a difference between man and woman, anybody needs to be independent. As a family, the couple both of them have to educate and raise up their children. For the house hold chores, cleaning , cooking and paiement, I see the couple as partners in this life, they have to help each other in everything, and behave as one person. If someone thinks for example, that the man is not good enough to make a task as he must, so at that point the woman can handle it, and vice versa.

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  • It’s just not possible to unring the bell.

    Although the traditional roles of cooking, laundry, children, household chores still are women’s roles while outside upkeep are men. At least it is in my circle of friends.

    That’s why it is tough for women in the working fields to find balance.

    The way it is now, it’s extremely difficult for women

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  • It would work great if jobs paid more to their employees. Unless a man is really bundled up there’s no way he can support a whole family on minimum wage.

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  • it would probs make dating easier for both sexes simply because there were clear and rigid expectations from each sex regarding their gender role leading to less confusion, less misunderstandings, etc.
    It's not like traditional gender roles are completely eradicated, they're still there to some extent - just a lot more flexible and optional.

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  • It would probably be a bit easier for men because women would depend on finding a partner in order to survive since they couldn't make enough money on their own and would have to put way more effort in that.

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  • Why not let men hunt for food while we make fire in the cave?
    No offense but... WTF

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    • How about you just answer the question instead pretending to be offended?

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    • Right, that's why I'm not offended by facts lol. Little sad that you can't be the same way but hey, we can't all be mature.

    • Wow.
      Just... wow!

  • It would be easier for the man to cheat and be abusive towards the woman.

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  • I think dating is much easier now than when gender roles had bigger influence over people. I couldn't know for sure, since I haven't lived in that time, but I can tell from the stories that I've heard.

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  • "See/Read A Handmaids Tale"... backwards is not a place I and a lot of other people desire to go. We lived with this system for centuries and some were happy and some were not, just like with what we currently have. The idea that I would have essentially no rights and no power to do as I please and that I would require a man to take care of even my base personal needs makes me nauseous. I don't desire a life where my partner and I have roles dictated by some antiquated idea and system of what a man is and what a woman is. It is up to each couple to determine who and what they are. If you want that life, go for it, it's all yours, but if you and your partner want to be more independent, or more equal, or he or she is the this or that, then you make that decision together. This is a freedom that is available to almost anyone here in this country and this day and age and as much as one can complain, be it man or woman, about it, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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  • Only for those men who want 'control' over the relationship/ dating relationship & those women who want to be a burden on others instead of taking care of themselves, be it financially or socially.

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  • No, and honestly I wouldn't want to be a housewife, nor do I want kids.

    But if there's a couple that wants to do this, it's fine in my book. It's just not for me.

    I'm even okay with men being the stay at home spouce, as long as he's actually taking care of everything at home.

    I'm completely against the concept of a trophy spouce that doesn't work, or do anything productive to help out.

    I'm completely in favor of more women taking the initiative to do the asking, and paying for dates. But both individuals should pay for themselves those first few times, until you decide to become exclusive.

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