Would dating be easier if we brought back traditional gender roles?

Question

Pure curiosity, and I'm just looking for your personal opinion.

So really the woman would do all the cooking, cleaning raising the kids, and the household chores. The man works and brings home the money but is still the 'protector' of the family. That also means men would have to pay for dates and pay for their wives upkeep like hair, nails, clothes, etc. since she wouldn't work or, if she did, it would be a more "feminine" job with no authority like a secretary or something and she wouldn't have a lot of money. If you want to lump teacher and nurse in there, you can.

I know financially it would be difficult in 2018, but I'm only talking in terms of being with someone, not necessarily being able to afford a luxurious lifestyle. Being honest, most families with traditional gender roles in the 40's and 50's didn't live a luxurious lifestyle, either, so that's not really anything new.

But do you think dating would easier?

daydreammarie · Accepted Answer

Yeah I think it would be easier that way everyone was on the same page. If a guy is gonna take me on a date I expect him to pay, open my door, pull my chair out etc. Because that is how he should have been raised - as a gentlemen. Before this whole feminist shit started men still did that because women wanted equality (which we have if you aren't blind thanks to the women of the past not 'feminists'.) Because they wanted to start spreading that independent women shit and say you wanted to pay for the bill or half dont open my door because your dominating me. Well girl some girls like to be dominated!! Lol messed it up for the rest of us. Now this is turning into a rant sorry. Anyways the point is yeah it should go back to that but modernized slightly. The man should be the man of the house, should have the respect of that. doesn't matter if I made more or he made more it would go into each other, and when kids are involved I would take care of them because I am the mom. End of story. I am gonna treat my man like a king and he is gonna treat me like a queen nothing traditional or whatever I was just raised to treat a man like that. You cook, (he can too but most if you are not working and he is when he gets home the house should be clean and food ready or almost done etc) you pamper your man because that is what he deserves because I know damn well the man I am gonna be with is gonna give it back.

SkyeMind · Accepted Answer

I gather it would be easier because the framework is set. The roles are set. Your part and the expectations of you is set. I'm unsure if it would be "right" though, because it really doesn't fit everyone.

I like parts of the traditional gender roles; I love the way they moved within the relationship, but I still want the freedom to choose. And I've never been a housewife; I've worked since I was in school and had my children in awesome daycare from they were 2.
If I had to choose, I don't think I would choose to be home, anyway, even in a traditional gender role scenario.

I like the traditional way in the sense that it speaks to our genetic and fundamental strengths; any change in this, any movement, will not change this. We're different and it's ok.

jpmoore89 · Accepted Answer

It would make dating so much better, as well as everything beyond.

I am old fashioned in my thinking. I think life was better when men and women were practicing their gender specific roles. We are different and for good reason. There is nothing inferior with traditional roles and their respect to ether gender. For instance, a man opening a door for his woman, picking her up, asking her to marry him, calling on her to ask her out, accepting her for who she is, appreciating her body in a natural state, and actually making love to her instead of all the violent and unnatural sexual ways now days. A woman on the other hand is tender and nurturing by her very nature. She is kind. When she feels ready (not being pushed) she wants children. Gender roles are still important even if pop culture and stupid laws reject such things, I will always feel and act traditionally.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

More women would want families and not careers so YES it would be easier for MEN. However... men still have to court the woman and in 2018 they are pretty clueless on how that is done. The below statement was written by a male guest writer in SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE in 1959.

"Growing up has taught me one thing: there is an infinite number of ways by which a boy can meet a girl. I've also found that once he meets a girl -- and becomes interested in her -- a boy must indulge in a sly, artful practice called pursuit."

Men back in the day were good at their role and women were even better. That was then this is now. The roles wouldn't survive in 2018.

Logorithim · Answer

I have to disagree with this. When a woman has her own money, she chooses the guy she wants to be with, not just the best provider she can get.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think I'd be happier if we had traditional gender roles but I'm also happy working and getting a job.

Desconhecida · Answer

Why not let men hunt for food while we make fire in the cave?  No offense but... WTF

Benedek38 · Answer

While most women won't admit it, dating would be easier for them, too. The idea is that women are hypergamous by nature. This essentially means they date men above their own socio-economic status.
With women's introduction into the workforce, and the idea of the "working woman", women gained a rather easy way to boost their socio-economic status. However, they didn't count on the fact that men's status will not raise equally, but stay the same. So the number of candidates for women will decrease as their status increases.
Essentially they are killing themselves with their own dating expectations.
To put this on a mathematical perspective:
Men's attractiveness, or status, is determined by some kind of normal distribution. It looks something like this:
https://imgur.com/a/OIBvZci
Sure enough:
https://imgur.com/a/oT6ub48
Now, if this is the density distribution function of men (M), then the density distribution function of women (W) will be:
p=P (W > M).
This is essentially the mirroring of the cumulative distribution function of men along the average.
This is what it looks like
https://imgur.com/a/9wcgOTN
As you can see, dating is incredibly dire for women who have a high social status.
Now, imagine that the distribution of women is ALSO normal. Meaning women around the 5/10 mark are the most common. Now ALSO imagine that guys don't want to date girls who are less attractive then them.
Bottomline, a good portion of the female population WILL be left without a partner at the end of the day. A simple estimate, using the 80/20 rule - which was proven roughly correct by several studies - is that 80% of women are interested in 20% of men, while 20% of women are interested in 80% of men. This means that about 60% of both women and men are LEFT SINGLE. Sure enough, about 50% of the US adult population is single.

So yeah, I think it is fair to say that unless you are looking for one night stands till the end of your life, this is bad for both men and women.

lotv56 · Answer

NO It would not be easier. Relationships back then were not EASIER lol They were maybe even more hard. Women dealt with a lot! Many women were miserable! Just ask your grandma. One of my great aunts (RIP) recently died and she had alziehmers and it developed because she lived for her husband. I can go on and on about how many studies have shown that women's health goes downhill when they are in a bad marriage. She neglected herself. It's so sad but her husband was abusive but this was the norm back in the day that was not considered abuse. She didn't even have time to eat all day sometimes because she was so busy cooking, cleaning and helping her husband. When her husband died he wanted her to die with him because he didn't want her to stay alone and find someone else. I grew up around a lot of old people lol I would hear their marraige stories all the time and these women are tough cookies! They may look gentle and delicate because they were cooking, dressed feminine and etc. but they were more tough than the women and most of the men today! They would rarely cry and new survival skills as well. Now women and men are spoiled! The fact is that relationships were not easier back in the day but many had the fear of God and they took marriage and dating seriously! They were not quitters. People now want results fast. Sorry but dating is not easy when true love is not involved and if God isn't in the center of the relationship.

windknowsmyname · Answer

Fuuuuuuuuuck no.
Im sorry to say but women are to blame.

Guys has there fair share of hiccups with cheating, abusive behavior, emotional manipulation, and so on. Im not denying the dating struggles women go through. But women killed chivalry, reasons for men to gentlemen, and why men should treat women like queens. Valid proofs are:

Feminists: this whole movement dont allow guys to be men they used to be. Its hate spread equality masked with bad intent. there's good, but media shows the bad, soo.

Past: women now days can't take compliments, they dont know how to react when you treat them nice, and sure as hell dont appreciate as they should. you'll get the " your too nice" " i just want to be friends" " my ex used treat me like shit so im not used to-" they looking fir mr. wrong basically.

Confusion: now days by kissing her hand, pulling the chair out, holding the door open, put your coat down so she won't walk in the puddle, giving up your seat on the bus for her, giving her your jacket when she's cold, and more are seen ss nice gestures and nowdays many many women thinks the guy likes her and she will push him back.

Proof and more proof!
The bad boys vs good guy. Women see this whole shit as a joke. Its predictable, boring, and no fun. They want more and they want what they can't have. While she's at home watching 50 shades of grey, she's not thinking about her to be partner. she's thinking about who bring heaven to her and the nice sweet, guy ain't on her list.

You bring back roles but must ulter the she and he was raised as well.

Pizza_lover159 · Answer

Its nothing as gender roles. This stupid things make women look lazy and men have the responsability for the whole family.

Raising a child or cleaning its not that hard so she stays at home 24/7. What if they have 6 kids? The men needs at least 2 jobs so he can suport this huge family.

At my home. We clean our own dishes. Make our bed and keep things clean and we are teached that. Both parents should work. Even kids after they are old enougj they should be teached how to make money. So they get teached how to use their own money and stop wasting them.

And this things leave the woman insecure in life. Why? If she makes no money. She has nowhere to go. If she is abused or wantd to divorce? She can't leave because she can't afford it. And she needs that guy. Maybe she doesn't even love her.

And the man. While he is working all day all long. His wife has fun and can even cheat him. He comes back from work and he is tired. He doesn't play with the kids anymore and doesn't even kiss his wife. He can even loose his job or become sick. what happens next? All this gender role is toxic.

Two people should be together because they want to. Not because they want a sugar daddy ( yes. they are basically the same thing because they get money and do nothing ) or because he wants a 24/7 maid at home.

Ask yourself all those question first.

dragonfly6516 · Answer

No, and honestly I wouldn't want to be a housewife, nor do I want kids.

But if there's a couple that wants to do this, it's fine in my book. It's just not for me.

I'm even okay with men being the stay at home spouce, as long as he's actually taking care of everything at home.

I'm completely against the concept of a trophy spouce that doesn't work, or do anything productive to help out.

I'm completely in favor of more women taking the initiative to do the asking, and paying for dates. But both individuals should pay for themselves those first few times, until you decide to become exclusive.

taytayasks · Answer

Not every couple is hetero, so breaking gender roles or keeping them doesn't dictate the success of a relationship. If you are a stay at home mom that's your choice! Whatever you and your partner are comfortable with is the right choice, and if it means going out of the ordinary gender roles then why not? Forcing someone to break gender roles if they are comfortable where they are already isn't fair though, so I would say just let everyone make their own decision and don't pressure or judge others. :)

BeeNee · Answer

"See/Read A Handmaids Tale"... backwards is not a place I and a lot of other people desire to go. We lived with this system for centuries and some were happy and some were not, just like with what we currently have. The idea that I would have essentially no rights and no power to do as I please and that I would require a man to take care of even my base personal needs makes me nauseous. I don't desire a life where my partner and I have roles dictated by some antiquated idea and system of what a man is and what a woman is. It is up to each couple to determine who and what they are. If you want that life, go for it, it's all yours, but if you and your partner want to be more independent, or more equal, or he or she is the this or that, then you make that decision together. This is a freedom that is available to almost anyone here in this country and this day and age and as much as one can complain, be it man or woman, about it, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

sawno · Answer

It would definitely be easier especially for the attractive women. They just sit in a cafe and the men do all the work to persuade them after which they get the comfort of a family life while the men do all the hard money earning labor. There was a reason why these roles exist in a time where most work was not as suitable for the women.

For less attractive women and insecure men its a blessing the new standard works both ways as both benefit from the girl initiation themselves which can often be a deal maker in these cases. In general i like the more modern system where its more equal as its less unfair for the Men but feminists should know very well what they are destroying by forcing this upon everyone as once you get in a situation where you have to compete with men who are literally build for competition your going to wish your at the time where they simply took care of you.

lurikatia · Answer

People with money doesn't have gender role issues...

U can hire a maid or reduce ur work with dishwater machines etc

We are in modern times... why cook when u ca travel the world and taste new dishes... #trend

So the question is more for people with money income issues

Off course it will be easier
But it will means for a woman that is interested in being a modern independent to give up her ideals and she will feel like she is wasting her potential as a human being.

Bc if both works hard, both can hire a maid or buy some helfull machines and have more timefor other things

Offcourse
There are women that love cooking and being a mother by nature and doesn't feel like she is wasting her potential

And even families that have maid... but will only waste their time working rather than spending more family quality time...

Hannah591 · Answer

I think dating has become harder in this digital age, but it has balanced things out with thanks to equality too. Some women still have the traditional mentality, but there are plenty of women who reach out to men and ask them out!
If we went back to traditional ways, which is in essence the time when women were not equal to men, it would be easier for women, as men would be expected to approach women a lot more.
We grow up with movies of men approaching women with confidence, but it never happens in real life - it would be cool to happen once in a while, but I understand why they don't do it.

TheBigSoftie · Answer

It wouldn't be easy for anybody. The world has become pussified on both sides of the gender spectrum (I'm talking bout male and female, as they are the only two real genders in the world, despite recent popular belief.)
You see, men have become so emasculated that for them to have to suddenly take the role of the primary financial provider is suddenly hard for them to do, cos that would mean longer work hours and a sudden change in the economy that makes it easier for the middle-class to become slightly richer.
Women will not go back to being the understanding housewife who is pent up all day taking care of the kids cos they deserve to go out and have fun and let the man know when she has had enough.
So no, dating would not be easier if that happened. Hell, the world wouldn't be easier if that happened in this era.

Mexicoman101 · Answer

I don't know. If you compare the amount of people who are single now compared to in like the 50s, there's vastly more singles now and people are on xanax in safe spaces with communities online giving them a home to bitch about the opposite sex or even claim that you're actually a dragon-kin with phantom wings you feel hurt when walking through doors. I don't really think that what we're doing right now is working. But I mean, gender roles can be arbitrary and I'm not sure that would just magically fix the culture either. I do think we're confused a lot and attraction is becoming incompatible with our gender expressions. Men don't want girls with green mohawks and some bullish nose ring who doesn't shave her legs. Women don't want a guy who looks and acts like Richard Simmons. Just because there are some exceptions to these rules doesn't mean we should just be allowed to breeze through life expecting people to adjust their sense of attraction on other peoples' behalf.

ShawnK521 · Answer

So here's my some what off topic answer. in my opinion, we were never meant to act as independent units. My direct family helped build the "Amana Colonies" in Iowa. In this setting, someone that hunted, did so for the colony. Someone that was a carpenter, did so for the colony. They also traded as needed. Everyone pitched in to the colony as to their skill set. No one person did everything. In this setting, yes there are traditional "roles", but you did your skill. In an effort to be individuals we have brought a huge burden to ourselves to be all things to our family.

BillyB4 · Answer

Honestly I think that still happens a lot nowadays, where the man does most of the work and women do most of the chores. Also, there seems to be a misconception that women didn’t have jobs in the 50’s. Both my grandmothers did, and most of their friends and relatives did. I think it’s just that now feminists are trying to get women to work all the time rather than part-time because they think it somehow makes women equal to men. The way I see it, it doesn’t what arrangement you have with your partner, as long as you have enough money, a clean house, and time for your kids.

ryryryan · Answer

I'm Hella glad that I don't have to have the burden of earning all the money, and most women will expect not to ask of that these days #feminism #equalpayforequalwork

But are you asking if being rich would make it easier to find a woman who willing to not work and be rich? And can we get that 1950 economy back too?

Lastly, I think the less a person HAS to work (esp. In a bummy job) the more free time and time invested in the relationship you can have. Therefor, if u wanna say "baby, stop working if u want, I got this" In fact that was the huge appeal of marriage for a woman, full time mom I hear can be awesome

ScaryCool · Answer

I don't see how it'd really change the dating field. I prefer both of us work to knock those bills out. We could still have that traiditonal type family that comes home in the evening and both help cook and have family dinners if we just plan accordingly.

Aynsof · Answer

I think I some ways perhaps it would be... Not sure easier is the right word but more purposeful
There was a greater need to have a partner in many ways then more need for both genders
I don't think it overall would be good to return to that but that is not to say everything in those norms were bad
I think it would work much better if the norm in relationships was one worked and one kept the household I don't think it automatically has to be the woman but these days a middle class family pretty much has to have both parents working to an equivalent quality of life to the average as in times where one doing it was enough
But I guess that is a whole other discussion

IsoUser · Answer

Easier for me yes, but I'm the guy whose coming to your front door greeting you, for an evening out not a 20 something leaning on the car's horn to get your attention and expecting the date to pay half the dinner check lmao, Guys come on Chivalry is not dead, be a man pay for everything you cheap 20 something B@st@rd's.

You_Cant_See_Me · Answer

Yes, women have gotten absolutely out of hand. Our sex means something, not everything in life is a social construct; some things are based in biology and actuality. Let’s face it, I don’t want a woman with me on the battle field, I don’t want a woman with me on a construction site. Women are biologically weaker and if you deny that, you deny science.

MrKinktastic · Answer

So world war 2 broke it when we needed the women to work and they were just as good at it. Since then its been a slow grind to equality as the patriarchy slowly gives up territory bit by bit.

As for dating thats a pretty recent courting custom that was not commonly practiced in history. So "traditional" is a small window in time people are trying to cling to and not a permanent fixed thing like people act.

Celtero · Answer

I don't really care about all the roles within a relationship... but dating does seem pretty fucked. Relationships at this point are only an excuse to bang someone repeatedly over a long period of time. Back then it was part of the quest to find a suitable partner to start a family with. Escentialy people just use each other as human toilets to relieve themselves with in this day and age.

Elaine_17 · Answer

No. You know why? The female would be dependent on the males for everything such as various expenses, etc. We take care of the homes, but who takes care of us? The men. We would have to rely on even awful men, but if we were to take care of ourselves and not become dependent on men, it would be much better for us to create a better life for ourselves.

TripleAce · Answer

Well it seems that when it comes to men paying Etc --> ironically all women are 'raised' old fashioned she says lol

But when it comes to other 'old fashioned' roles like you suggest --> Now its equality she preaches 😂

😂😂 the irony here though

musical_kittycat · Answer

Haha, no. There would be too much controversy, first of all -- we feminists would explode. Second of all, in this era, it would be way too hard financially. I agree, no one would live luxuriously; everyone would live pretty close to poverty. At least two paying jobs are what a common family needs nowadays. It's not going to be able to change anytime soon.

Mei95 · Answer

Probably no... For me, it's not about gender roles but perspective of gender roles...
Im from a Latin country, and tradicional men feels powerful in front of women, they think they have the right to abuse or control only bc women deppends of them or even think women are lazy just for stay in home, but honestly, anyone think how tiring is made chores, care babies, and be submit...
If people respect or give the value from every role, maybe would be easier...

4nication · Answer

I think there's a reason we had the sexual revolution, etc. Lots of pent-up frustration beneath the surface. I think those things will probably always be there. Males in other species suffer terribly trying to procreate. They have "traditional gender roles". I don't know if it's enviable.

RoeyD · Answer

Dating would be easier but finding love wouldn't be that easier. If there were gender roles people could be depressed even more. I don't know what would happen. Talking about dating, there would be too many advantages and disadvantages so we can't know without analyzing the whole story.

fadwa · Answer

We are human, i don’t see a difference between man and woman, anybody needs to be independent. As a family, the couple both of them have to educate and raise up their children. For the house hold chores, cleaning , cooking and paiement, I see the couple as partners in this life, they have to help each other in everything, and behave as one person. If someone thinks for example, that the man is not good enough to make a task as he must, so at that point the woman can handle it, and vice versa.

yogagirl777 · Answer

I mean I hate saying this because I like how much autonomy I have gained as a woman but in a sense it would be easier because their is such a complicated dance these days of situationships and defining the relationship and texting rules and calling rules and approaching rules that is honestly just exhausting. I think it must have been easier back then to understand your role in the dating process back then and know how to play it but these days there are so many blurred lines

Curmudgeon · Answer

I am reminded of something one of the first feminists, Gloria Steinhem, said nearly 50 years ago, "What we want is a humanizing of gender roles--not an exchanging of them!"

And you know what? She was right.

However, what we ended up doing was something different and much worse--a *total denial* of gender roles. And this has been folly.

BeesNectar · Answer

It’s just not possible to unring the bell.

Although the traditional roles of cooking, laundry, children, household chores still are women’s roles while outside upkeep are men. At least it is in my circle of friends.

That’s why it is tough for women in the working fields to find balance.

The way it is now, it’s extremely difficult for women

Servus09 · Answer

Being a stay-at-home mother use to be a full-time job. Now we have dishwashers, washing machines, dry cleaning, home cleaning crews, restaurants on every corner, and even daycares for children. Women would get bored if they stayed at home today.

I do believe though that we should stop trying to force an equal outcome between the genders. Let men and women have equal opportunity and stop trying to disenfranchise men in order to help women.

Volvagia · Answer

it would probs make dating easier for both sexes simply because there were clear and rigid expectations from each sex regarding their gender role leading to less confusion, less misunderstandings, etc.
It's not like traditional gender roles are completely eradicated, they're still there to some extent - just a lot more flexible and optional.

LogicBomber · Answer

Women's happiness has declined expediently over the last 50 years. Why?
Because women are happier in their gender roles.

law.yale.edu/.../...iningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf

Living up to the expectations that men generally have to live up to is hard and women find it difficult to do, so they become depressed.

hellacray · Answer

Well I think it might make it a little easier because I think women might need to put more effort in meeting a guy.

Cause for women in terms of surviving they kind of need to find a decent guy with a job.

In today's standards women think they're hot shit and if men don't like it they don't need them anyways because they're independent.

So it might be easier, but who knows.

Astoriana · Answer

I would kill myself if I had to be content with being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. That sounds horrible. I think the only people truly satisfied with traditional gender roles when it comes to dating and marriage were men.

kaewk · Answer

It would work great if jobs paid more to their employees. Unless a man is really bundled up there’s no way he can support a whole family on minimum wage.

pupperluvo · Answer

Don’t ever say bring back traditional roles again. God I fucking hate that so much.

JuliaLoves55 · Answer

This is such an interesting question and I'm not gonna lie it really got me thinking. Easier- maybe because everyone would know exactly what's expected of them but it certainly would not be happier. Maybe for some but I'm speaking for the majority.

silverqueen · Answer

It would be easier for the man to cheat and be abusive towards the woman.

Hurlyburly · Answer

It would probably be a bit easier for men because women would depend on finding a partner in order to survive since they couldn't make enough money on their own and would have to put way more effort in that.

Dreamweaver671 · Answer

I prefer not to look back at the past. I'm not going that direction.

ThoughtCriminal · Answer

Natural Gender-Roles are alive and well... No Amount of Cultural-Marxism can suppress the Natural-Order.

happyhippo · Answer

I think dating is much easier now than when gender roles had bigger influence over people. I couldn't know for sure, since I haven't lived in that time, but I can tell from the stories that I've heard.

Legendary_Shark · Answer

Only for those men who want 'control' over the relationship/ dating relationship & those women who want to be a burden on others instead of taking care of themselves, be it financially or socially.

genericname85 · Answer

that's mostly not an option anymore, cause most families these days can litterally not survive on a single breadwinner. wage raises have stopped compensating for inflation decades ago.

Gedaria · Answer

No, when i look at what my father put my mother through , No i have been married twice each time i married a partner someone to share life together not have some slave at home to do your bidding...

SKINNYPETITE1 · Answer

It would be easier for some. Im sure. But for me it wouldn't be easier

Tomblebee · Answer

Sometimes you will have to make a decision between what is right and what is easy.

CubsterShura · Answer

It would make marriage easier but dating harder because women would be less available.

zagor · Answer

No, a lot of people were miserable back then too, they just didn't have the internet to broadcast that fact.

skateranon123 · Answer

ahh no this worked in the 50s but now to keep a house going strong you need two paychecks and both working on the house

lukeO · Answer

It would definitely kill majourity of the bs that goes on with girls bitching at guys and guys bitching at girls about femininity and masculinity that’s for sure...

Likes2drive · Answer

Yeah it would be easier for men but not women, men like to be needed but women would always have to wait for a good man to come along and ask her out and may never get asked if she isn’t desirable

Shimy · Answer

That would be awful for me I'd rather stay single than be a housewife

herguy · Answer

It's not realistic or something I'd necessarily want, but 100% agree it would make things easier for everyone.

Smegskull · Answer

I think relationships would be but dating is ruined by the internet not by roles.

Would dating be easier if we brought back traditional gender roles?

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