Would dating be easier if we brought back traditional gender roles?

[Allie_Oops]

Pure curiosity, and I'm just looking for your personal opinion.

So really the woman would do all the cooking, cleaning raising the kids, and the household chores. The man works and brings home the money but is still the 'protector' of the family. That also means men would have to pay for dates and pay for their wives upkeep like hair, nails, clothes, etc. since she wouldn't work or, if she did, it would be a more "feminine" job with no authority like a secretary or something and she wouldn't have a lot of money. If you want to lump teacher and nurse in there, you can.

I know financially it would be difficult in 2018, but I'm only talking in terms of being with someone, not necessarily being able to afford a luxurious lifestyle. Being honest, most families with traditional gender roles in the 40's and 50's didn't live a luxurious lifestyle, either, so that's not really anything new.

But do you think dating would easier?

Yes, it would be easier.

Yes, it would be easier but only for the men.

Yes, it would be easier but only for the women.

No, it would not make dating easier.

Updates

+1 y

I think some people are getting dating mixed up with whether or not you’d be happy. I’m not asking if it would make you happy. I’m asking would it be easier to find someone to date and marry.

[daydreammarie]

Yeah I think it would be easier that way everyone was on the same page. If a guy is gonna take me on a date I expect him to pay, open my door, pull my chair out etc. Because that is how he should have been raised - as a gentlemen. Before this whole feminist shit started men still did that because women wanted equality (which we have if you aren't blind thanks to the women of the past not 'feminists'.) Because they wanted to start spreading that independent women shit and say you wanted to pay for the bill or half dont open my door because your dominating me. Well girl some girls like to be dominated!! Lol messed it up for the rest of us. Now this is turning into a rant sorry. Anyways the point is yeah it should go back to that but modernized slightly. The man should be the man of the house, should have the respect of that. doesn't matter if I made more or he made more it would go into each other, and when kids are involved I would take care of them because I am the mom. End of story. I am gonna treat my man like a king and he is gonna treat me like a queen nothing traditional or whatever I was just raised to treat a man like that. You cook, (he can too but most if you are not working and he is when he gets home the house should be clean and food ready or almost done etc) you pamper your man because that is what he deserves because I know damn well the man I am gonna be with is gonna give it back.

[Legendary_Shark]

I don't know why are you so bitter about feminism, you'll get 1000s of men of the kind you want but be prepared to tolerate shit like cheating & stuff when your king thinks you're all about him & he can do what he likes, that's what you'll get in today's scenerio. Remember, the way world is today coz of feminism not just because of the women who brought feminism but men & the way they took it! Most of them are not the victims of feminism but they're playing the victims, taking advantage of whole thing & blaming women & correction, "Feminist Independent Women" for being nutty enough to convert them to assholes they might be for not taking women seriously while actually that's there real side of a non-chivalrous person they can now easily bring out which they would have to have kept hidden had it been like 1950s & would have been forced to act all gentlemanly.

[Legendary_Shark]

*their real side

[daydreammarie]

I'm not bitter with feminism, I dont agree with it I am all for equality but feminism does not stand for that maybe in a different time but not today and that is not mans side. I don't know about what men you surround your self with but a few select men I know have cheated and not with me but close friend's and those guys were not gentlemen but bad guys. I am talking about men and no you will not find 1000s of men like that and no I will not expect cheating and them thinking that because thats complete bullshit you honestly think every guy is prone to cheat or take advantage of that then again you need to surround yourself with better people. If I put my all in a guy who wants to cheat and think he is better than me you best bet I wouldn't be with him. You need to know how to pick a guy and know how you should be treated. And I know exactly how I want to be treated and know damn well I will not tolerate any of that bull.

[daydreammarie]

Now back to the feminism. That was not created till the 70s BY HATE! It was founded on hate of men that is a known fact and it has just gotten worse you can be all about equality but feminism does not stand for that it stands for hate. It has nothing to do about guys feeling like victims and all to do with trying to make the women the dom sex. Maybe I am getting the wrong side of feminism but that is all it is portraying and that is all I am saying. Feminism is a joke, if you wanted equality then maybe they should be focusing on all humans no gender. That is what I am behind is human rights.

[daydreammarie]

*seeing

[SkyeMind]

I gather it would be easier because the framework is set. The roles are set. Your part and the expectations of you is set. I'm unsure if it would be "right" though, because it really doesn't fit everyone.

I like parts of the traditional gender roles; I love the way they moved within the relationship, but I still want the freedom to choose. And I've never been a housewife; I've worked since I was in school and had my children in awesome daycare from they were 2.
If I had to choose, I don't think I would choose to be home, anyway, even in a traditional gender role scenario.

I like the traditional way in the sense that it speaks to our genetic and fundamental strengths; any change in this, any movement, will not change this. We're different and it's ok.

[jpmoore89]

It would make dating so much better, as well as everything beyond.

I am old fashioned in my thinking. I think life was better when men and women were practicing their gender specific roles. We are different and for good reason. There is nothing inferior with traditional roles and their respect to ether gender. For instance, a man opening a door for his woman, picking her up, asking her to marry him, calling on her to ask her out, accepting her for who she is, appreciating her body in a natural state, and actually making love to her instead of all the violent and unnatural sexual ways now days. A woman on the other hand is tender and nurturing by her very nature. She is kind. When she feels ready (not being pushed) she wants children. Gender roles are still important even if pop culture and stupid laws reject such things, I will always feel and act traditionally.

[jpmoore89]

Yes, it would be easier to marry. More importantly, it would be better for the long term, in having a more meaningful connection with the person I marry.

[coachTanthony]

More women would want families and not careers so YES it would be easier for MEN. However... men still have to court the woman and in 2018 they are pretty clueless on how that is done. The below statement was written by a male guest writer in SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE in 1959.

"Growing up has taught me one thing: there is an infinite number of ways by which a boy can meet a girl. I've also found that once he meets a girl -- and becomes interested in her -- a boy must indulge in a sly, artful practice called pursuit."

Men back in the day were good at their role and women were even better. That was then this is now. The roles wouldn't survive in 2018.

[Benedek38]

Men definitely got worse at dating, but so did women. The idea of a "pursuit" is to test the man. Women nowadays don't tease and test - they shittest. Throw curveballs, or straight up kick you back if they don't like you immediately. You can be the most confident dude in the world, a no is a no. And a sexual assault is a sexual assault. So we are at a point where everything is working according to women's rules, but women don't even know the rules. People are clueless about courting and tactful approach, and 90% of dates are about as complex as "let's eat something and then fuck"

[coachTanthony]

@Benedek38 Don't worry the ROBOTS are coming ! Ha

[Logorithim]

I have to disagree with this. When a woman has her own money, she chooses the guy she wants to be with, not just the best provider she can get.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think I'd be happier if we had traditional gender roles but I'm also happy working and getting a job.

[Desconhecida]

Why not let men hunt for food while we make fire in the cave?
No offense but... WTF

[Allie_Oops]

How about you just answer the question instead pretending to be offended?

[Desconhecida]

I felt offended. The first sentence about the household errands killed my soul

[Allie_Oops]

Well, get over it. That’s what traditional roles are. It’s in the title of the question. They don’t change because you’re a sensitive person.

[Desconhecida]

Hahaha. Calm down

[Allie_Oops]

Lol, I’m not the easily offended butterfly on here. How about you calm down and act your age? Were you never taught what traditional gender roles were?

[Desconhecida]

My age? Lol you are pretty close.
Anyway.. didn't mean to upset you. Sorry

[Allie_Oops]

Right, that's why I'm not offended by facts lol. Little sad that you can't be the same way but hey, we can't all be mature.

[Desconhecida]

Wow.
Just... wow!

[Benedek38]

While most women won't admit it, dating would be easier for them, too. The idea is that women are hypergamous by nature. This essentially means they date men above their own socio-economic status.
With women's introduction into the workforce, and the idea of the "working woman", women gained a rather easy way to boost their socio-economic status. However, they didn't count on the fact that men's status will not raise equally, but stay the same. So the number of candidates for women will decrease as their status increases.
Essentially they are killing themselves with their own dating expectations.
To put this on a mathematical perspective:
Men's attractiveness, or status, is determined by some kind of normal distribution. It looks something like this:
https://imgur.com/a/OIBvZci
Sure enough:
https://imgur.com/a/oT6ub48
Now, if this is the density distribution function of men (M), then the density distribution function of women (W) will be:
p=P (W > M).
This is essentially the mirroring of the cumulative distribution function of men along the average.
This is what it looks like
https://imgur.com/a/9wcgOTN
As you can see, dating is incredibly dire for women who have a high social status.
Now, imagine that the distribution of women is ALSO normal. Meaning women around the 5/10 mark are the most common. Now ALSO imagine that guys don't want to date girls who are less attractive then them.
Bottomline, a good portion of the female population WILL be left without a partner at the end of the day. A simple estimate, using the 80/20 rule - which was proven roughly correct by several studies - is that 80% of women are interested in 20% of men, while 20% of women are interested in 80% of men. This means that about 60% of both women and men are LEFT SINGLE. Sure enough, about 50% of the US adult population is single.

So yeah, I think it is fair to say that unless you are looking for one night stands till the end of your life, this is bad for both men and women.

[lotv56]

NO It would not be easier. Relationships back then were not EASIER lol They were maybe even more hard. Women dealt with a lot! Many women were miserable! Just ask your grandma. One of my great aunts (RIP) recently died and she had alziehmers and it developed because she lived for her husband. I can go on and on about how many studies have shown that women's health goes downhill when they are in a bad marriage. She neglected herself. It's so sad but her husband was abusive but this was the norm back in the day that was not considered abuse. She didn't even have time to eat all day sometimes because she was so busy cooking, cleaning and helping her husband. When her husband died he wanted her to die with him because he didn't want her to stay alone and find someone else. I grew up around a lot of old people lol I would hear their marraige stories all the time and these women are tough cookies! They may look gentle and delicate because they were cooking, dressed feminine and etc. but they were more tough than the women and most of the men today! They would rarely cry and new survival skills as well. Now women and men are spoiled! The fact is that relationships were not easier back in the day but many had the fear of God and they took marriage and dating seriously! They were not quitters. People now want results fast. Sorry but dating is not easy when true love is not involved and if God isn't in the center of the relationship.

[windknowsmyname]

Fuuuuuuuuuck no.
Im sorry to say but women are to blame.

Guys has there fair share of hiccups with cheating, abusive behavior, emotional manipulation, and so on. Im not denying the dating struggles women go through. But women killed chivalry, reasons for men to gentlemen, and why men should treat women like queens. Valid proofs are:

Feminists: this whole movement dont allow guys to be men they used to be. Its hate spread equality masked with bad intent. there's good, but media shows the bad, soo.

Past: women now days can't take compliments, they dont know how to react when you treat them nice, and sure as hell dont appreciate as they should. you'll get the " your too nice" " i just want to be friends" " my ex used treat me like shit so im not used to-" they looking fir mr. wrong basically.

Confusion: now days by kissing her hand, pulling the chair out, holding the door open, put your coat down so she won't walk in the puddle, giving up your seat on the bus for her, giving her your jacket when she's cold, and more are seen ss nice gestures and nowdays many many women thinks the guy likes her and she will push him back.

Proof and more proof!
The bad boys vs good guy. Women see this whole shit as a joke. Its predictable, boring, and no fun. They want more and they want what they can't have. While she's at home watching 50 shades of grey, she's not thinking about her to be partner. she's thinking about who bring heaven to her and the nice sweet, guy ain't on her list.

You bring back roles but must ulter the she and he was raised as well.

[Pizza_lover159]

Its nothing as gender roles. This stupid things make women look lazy and men have the responsability for the whole family.

Raising a child or cleaning its not that hard so she stays at home 24/7. What if they have 6 kids? The men needs at least 2 jobs so he can suport this huge family.

At my home. We clean our own dishes. Make our bed and keep things clean and we are teached that. Both parents should work. Even kids after they are old enougj they should be teached how to make money. So they get teached how to use their own money and stop wasting them.

And this things leave the woman insecure in life. Why? If she makes no money. She has nowhere to go. If she is abused or wantd to divorce? She can't leave because she can't afford it. And she needs that guy. Maybe she doesn't even love her.

And the man. While he is working all day all long. His wife has fun and can even cheat him. He comes back from work and he is tired. He doesn't play with the kids anymore and doesn't even kiss his wife. He can even loose his job or become sick. what happens next? All this gender role is toxic.

Two people should be together because they want to. Not because they want a sugar daddy ( yes. they are basically the same thing because they get money and do nothing ) or because he wants a 24/7 maid at home.

Ask yourself all those question first.

[dragonfly6516]

No, and honestly I wouldn't want to be a housewife, nor do I want kids.

But if there's a couple that wants to do this, it's fine in my book. It's just not for me.

I'm even okay with men being the stay at home spouce, as long as he's actually taking care of everything at home.

I'm completely against the concept of a trophy spouce that doesn't work, or do anything productive to help out.

I'm completely in favor of more women taking the initiative to do the asking, and paying for dates. But both individuals should pay for themselves those first few times, until you decide to become exclusive.

[taytayasks]

Not every couple is hetero, so breaking gender roles or keeping them doesn't dictate the success of a relationship. If you are a stay at home mom that's your choice! Whatever you and your partner are comfortable with is the right choice, and if it means going out of the ordinary gender roles then why not? Forcing someone to break gender roles if they are comfortable where they are already isn't fair though, so I would say just let everyone make their own decision and don't pressure or judge others. :)

[BeeNee]

"See/Read A Handmaids Tale"... backwards is not a place I and a lot of other people desire to go. We lived with this system for centuries and some were happy and some were not, just like with what we currently have. The idea that I would have essentially no rights and no power to do as I please and that I would require a man to take care of even my base personal needs makes me nauseous. I don't desire a life where my partner and I have roles dictated by some antiquated idea and system of what a man is and what a woman is. It is up to each couple to determine who and what they are. If you want that life, go for it, it's all yours, but if you and your partner want to be more independent, or more equal, or he or she is the this or that, then you make that decision together. This is a freedom that is available to almost anyone here in this country and this day and age and as much as one can complain, be it man or woman, about it, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

[sawno]

It would definitely be easier especially for the attractive women. They just sit in a cafe and the men do all the work to persuade them after which they get the comfort of a family life while the men do all the hard money earning labor. There was a reason why these roles exist in a time where most work was not as suitable for the women.

For less attractive women and insecure men its a blessing the new standard works both ways as both benefit from the girl initiation themselves which can often be a deal maker in these cases. In general i like the more modern system where its more equal as its less unfair for the Men but feminists should know very well what they are destroying by forcing this upon everyone as once you get in a situation where you have to compete with men who are literally build for competition your going to wish your at the time where they simply took care of you.

[lurikatia]

People with money doesn't have gender role issues...

U can hire a maid or reduce ur work with dishwater machines etc

We are in modern times... why cook when u ca travel the world and taste new dishes... #trend

So the question is more for people with money income issues

Off course it will be easier
But it will means for a woman that is interested in being a modern independent to give up her ideals and she will feel like she is wasting her potential as a human being.

Bc if both works hard, both can hire a maid or buy some helfull machines and have more timefor other things

Offcourse
There are women that love cooking and being a mother by nature and doesn't feel like she is wasting her potential

And even families that have maid... but will only waste their time working rather than spending more family quality time...

[Hannah591]

I think dating has become harder in this digital age, but it has balanced things out with thanks to equality too. Some women still have the traditional mentality, but there are plenty of women who reach out to men and ask them out!
If we went back to traditional ways, which is in essence the time when women were not equal to men, it would be easier for women, as men would be expected to approach women a lot more.
We grow up with movies of men approaching women with confidence, but it never happens in real life - it would be cool to happen once in a while, but I understand why they don't do it.

[Servus09]

Women were always equal to men but they chose not work in coal mines, in construction, or to do any laborious work. Now that civilization has been built by men, women demand equal representation in only high paying jobs.

[Hannah591]

@Servus09 That's a very ignorant, incel view you have.
Women worked during the war effort in factories and non-glamorous roles. Women DID work in coal mines - http://www.balmaiden.co.uk/womenuk.htm It was made illegal in 1842 in Britain for women to work there, so how do you expect them to work when the law had denied them to? They were more than willing to work in mines. They NEVER said, "oh mining is not for me, it's too dirty and difficult." There are STILL women working in mining around the world. You have a small minded and probably stereotypical idea of women.

[Servus09]

You just proved my point. Women were allowed to do these jobs, they simply chose not to because it was difficult and taxing work. Even today women refuse to do jobs they believe are beneath them. As for Britain, I don't live in Britain, so whatever the laws were in Britain 176 years ago have no meaning to me.

In many parts of the Middle-East and Africa girls are not allowed to go to school to this very day. In fact, slavery is still common in many of these countries, but we keep talking about slavery in the west as if the evil white men did not fight a civil war and abolish slavery 153 years ago.

[Servus09]

After the founding of the United States, women could vote if they owned land. Then voting rights changed and extended to all men for their sacrifice in war. The women's suffrage movement lagged behind the right to vote because women were afraid the government would also require them to die in a war for their voting rights.

Right now people get married later in life, not because that's when men want to get married, but because that's when women want to get married. Women like the idea of going off to college, getting good grades, and doing well in a career. Unfortunately, that never lasts. Women suddenly decide they need to get married after nearly a decade of non-committed relationships. Then they expect to find a man who can support them and their children.

[Hannah591]

I proved the opposite - that it was illegal for women to work in those roles even when they wished to do so and HAD DONE SO years previously. There is no point arguing with a bitter and ignorant incel.

[TheBigSoftie]

It wouldn't be easy for anybody. The world has become pussified on both sides of the gender spectrum (I'm talking bout male and female, as they are the only two real genders in the world, despite recent popular belief.)
You see, men have become so emasculated that for them to have to suddenly take the role of the primary financial provider is suddenly hard for them to do, cos that would mean longer work hours and a sudden change in the economy that makes it easier for the middle-class to become slightly richer.
Women will not go back to being the understanding housewife who is pent up all day taking care of the kids cos they deserve to go out and have fun and let the man know when she has had enough.
So no, dating would not be easier if that happened. Hell, the world wouldn't be easier if that happened in this era.

[ShawnK521]

So here's my some what off topic answer. in my opinion, we were never meant to act as independent units. My direct family helped build the "Amana Colonies" in Iowa. In this setting, someone that hunted, did so for the colony. Someone that was a carpenter, did so for the colony. They also traded as needed. Everyone pitched in to the colony as to their skill set. No one person did everything. In this setting, yes there are traditional "roles", but you did your skill. In an effort to be individuals we have brought a huge burden to ourselves to be all things to our family.

[Mexicoman101]

I don't know. If you compare the amount of people who are single now compared to in like the 50s, there's vastly more singles now and people are on xanax in safe spaces with communities online giving them a home to bitch about the opposite sex or even claim that you're actually a dragon-kin with phantom wings you feel hurt when walking through doors. I don't really think that what we're doing right now is working. But I mean, gender roles can be arbitrary and I'm not sure that would just magically fix the culture either. I do think we're confused a lot and attraction is becoming incompatible with our gender expressions. Men don't want girls with green mohawks and some bullish nose ring who doesn't shave her legs. Women don't want a guy who looks and acts like Richard Simmons. Just because there are some exceptions to these rules doesn't mean we should just be allowed to breeze through life expecting people to adjust their sense of attraction on other peoples' behalf.

[BillyB4]

Honestly I think that still happens a lot nowadays, where the man does most of the work and women do most of the chores. Also, there seems to be a misconception that women didn’t have jobs in the 50’s. Both my grandmothers did, and most of their friends and relatives did. I think it’s just that now feminists are trying to get women to work all the time rather than part-time because they think it somehow makes women equal to men. The way I see it, it doesn’t what arrangement you have with your partner, as long as you have enough money, a clean house, and time for your kids.

[Allie_Oops]

I didn’t say women couldn’t work. I said if they did then they’d have what would traditionally thought of as a woman’s job like being a secretary or something.

[ryryryan]

I'm Hella glad that I don't have to have the burden of earning all the money, and most women will expect not to ask of that these days #feminism #equalpayforequalwork

But are you asking if being rich would make it easier to find a woman who willing to not work and be rich? And can we get that 1950 economy back too?

Lastly, I think the less a person HAS to work (esp. In a bummy job) the more free time and time invested in the relationship you can have. Therefor, if u wanna say "baby, stop working if u want, I got this" In fact that was the huge appeal of marriage for a woman, full time mom I hear can be awesome

[Allie_Oops]

I clearly am not asking if being rich would make it easier because at the end of the description I state that even in the 40's and 50's most families were not well off.

Actually, if you offered me the full time mom position, I'd probably laugh at you because I'm not doing that. But I could see where some women would. But most women who have degrees and careers would not accept that offer.

[ryryryan]

U might be surprised. I work in a job I like, but I'll take early retirement if u offer it to me

[Allie_Oops]

That’s not early retirement though. That’s depending on someone else to care for you. Retirement is something you most likely worked for over the course of a few decades.

[ryryryan]

there's gotta be some positive correlation between free time and happiness. Simple concept I'm trying to explain.

[ScaryCool]

I don't see how it'd really change the dating field. I prefer both of us work to knock those bills out. We could still have that traiditonal type family that comes home in the evening and both help cook and have family dinners if we just plan accordingly.

[Aynsof]

I think I some ways perhaps it would be... Not sure easier is the right word but more purposeful
There was a greater need to have a partner in many ways then more need for both genders
I don't think it overall would be good to return to that but that is not to say everything in those norms were bad
I think it would work much better if the norm in relationships was one worked and one kept the household I don't think it automatically has to be the woman but these days a middle class family pretty much has to have both parents working to an equivalent quality of life to the average as in times where one doing it was enough
But I guess that is a whole other discussion