Guys, is possible for a girl to be TOO good looking for you to approach? Why?

[Allie_Oops]

Also known as ‘The Hawt Girl’ curse, is it possible for a woman that is very attractive to not be approached SOLELY because she’s just that good looking?

Yes, this is possible.

Maybe for some guys but not me.

It is for me but not most guys.

No, this is a myth.

I’m a girl.

[SngBirdy]

You have to differentiate. There is a difference between a really attractive "cute" girl, and really attractive "hot" girl. If you are really "hot" (the way you dress and do your make up mostly) , you will be intimidating and be less approached. If you are really attractive, but "cute", then you are going to have much more attention.

When girls go out, they tend to dress and do their make up/hair in a "hot" top model kind of way. Like Adriana Lima or something. I would never ever in a 100 years be confident enough to approach a girl that looks like Adriana Lima. And that means a lot considering im very muscular, yet still scared of hot girls.

[bamesjond0069]

I agree but I think "hot" is not also just intimidating, its also not that good. I personally am not interested in "hot" girls. If a girl is beautiful and wears little to no makeup and wears more simple clothes, I think they are way more likely to have a good personality and so I am far more attracted to them and far more likely to approach them.

[SngBirdy]

@bamesjond0069
"I agree but I think "hot" is not also just intimidating, its also not that good" you are right, i also develope feelings and attraction for "cute" girls much more than hot ones. In fact, i was never fell in love with a hot girl. I think its directly tied with how intimidating a hot girl looks. Because intimidation is not feminine. Its masculine, and therefore less attractive in girls.
Its the other way round for guys. When guys are intimidating by being very muscular or something, its not a bad thing. Its attractive.

I wish girls would realize that. I hate it when i go out with my girlfriend and she has a "hot" style and clothes. When i say i prefer her without make up, she doesn't understand. She thinks im telling her she looks bad. Its annoying..

[-Asca-]

You asked 2 questions there.
Yes it is possible for s girl to be too good looking to approach her.
No I don't think that a very attractive woman won't be approached at all because of this. It's just that some won't do it. Some will of course.

For the first question it really is about your self esteem and stuff, with people sort of sorting people into "leagues" with hers just being too high or I don't know.

[Allie_Oops]

I never mentioned anything about her never being approached lol, just asked if her looks would be a sole reason as to why a guy decides not to talk to her.

[-Asca-]

The "hawt gurl curse" part really sounded like that

[Ellie-V]

I’m a girl. And I believe if you get discouraged just by someone’s looks, you’re chicken af. It’s just an unnecessary excuse for cowardice. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman. If good looks scare you away, you’re just a punk 🤷🏾‍♀️😂

[infp_libra_78]

I don't think looks are any different than other categories when it comes to preconceptions about people. Are men cowards if they don't approach a woman who appears to be acting too dumb to date? :)

[StickStickity13]

What does that say about women in general then?

[Ellie-V]

They’re punks too @StickStickity13

[Ellie-V]

@infp_libra_78

What you are describing are negative characteristics.
Not being attracted or turned off by certain qualities isn’t cowardice. That’s just preference.

[infp_libra_78]

@Ellie. I don't understand your comment. What I really mean is that people reserve the right to choose a mate based on any quality they like. Based on experience or not. I don't approach just anyone, that would be a waste of time. There are many "nice/attractive" girls out there, and frankly if they are hot they may be swarmed by other guys with alterior motives. So when presented with attractive women who put more signals out there, or qualities that are a match, I'll focus on them. If the hot girl doesn't like that, she can approach me or put more out there, door swings both ways.

[ChronicThinker]

In a way, I guess. Some may assume they have no chance or that she’s taken.

[Logorithim]

No, not at all. Worst case Scenario is you have a convo with a really Beautiful woman.

Only way I wouldn't Approach her is if I am in a Society where guys don't Approach women in public.

[abc3643]

Often that happens...

If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type II" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

[abc3643]

BGST2, as I outlined above, applies to both the real world and dating sites.
However, the critical difference is that guys on Tinder approach because there are less consequences of rejection - it is better to be rejected in private over the web than it is to be rejected at a bar or party in front of anyone you know. This "fear of rejection, thus not approach" is human nature for both males and females. This is why a beautiful girl can be more successful on Tinder as opposed to being in the real world.

[ImSoSquishy]

sometimes when some of my guy friends sees a good looking girl, they tell me "hey look at that direction!" and i'm like "oh shit, go holler at her!" and they usually seems to say these 3 things to me the most, which is:

1. she's so beautiful/gorgeous/hot/cute, i bet she's already taken or have a boyfriend

2. i'm ugly, she's out of my league and will most likely reject me instantly

3. there's probably a lot of guys better looking and wealthier than me, i stand no chance and she'll never even bat an eye to me

[Shane_B]

Yes, it's true.

But in my case, any and most girls are too attractive for someone as ugly looking as me to approach them...

So I avoid girls in genral, especially out in public, I'm never gonna be good looking enough for then to even be friends with me if anything, if I was friends with an attractive girl, it would ruin her social life and friendships... And it has done...

A girl I knew had friends who didn't like me and said I was ugly and she shouldn't be friends with me, so she stopped being my friend...

[Jackieboi]

Im assuming were talking about those 1/100? Sure, its not like im the only one whos attracted to her, in fact absolutely every guy you have ever met is. So from her standpoint she can literally pick anyone she wants. If so ill just do my own thing and if she picks me yippikay yey mf! No but really truth be told, she's approached by dozens of guys every week. In fact 90% of the guys she comes into contact with are unable to act normal around her if you take into accout that theyll fall for her in a matter of short time. All this makes her act and carry herself in a certain way especially if she's been like that all her life and many of us know that approaching her will at best just be a waste of time if she's polite

[WillyD]

Risk vs. Reward. I used to believe in leagues. But i've had some not very attractive women shut me down. And some women that i feel had no business even looking at me show interest in me. But i'm a firm believer that there's always going to be guys that go i have nothing to lose. That why i don't believe that someone is too attractive to be approached. Maybe for me, but there's always going to be a guy with no shame in his game that is going to take a flyer. If a woman isn't being approached simply put it's something she's doing/saying that is sending the message "Go Away"!

[Just_A_Guy2018]

I have had photo shoots with some of the most drop dead gorgeous women. I learned that they are just like everyone else, they have had deaths in their families, they have had pet die, they get colds, they have insecurities and WTF moments and have the same struggles everyone else has. When my wife died, many called me , some came by to see how I was doing. Quite a few came to her funeral and let me know that if I needed someone to talk to they are just a call away. They are human just like the rest of us, and pretty decent people.

[Zefram]

Oh fuck yeah there are tons of girls that I thought were WAY out of my league.
Basically my entire high school. Getting bullied really did wonders for my self-esteem when I got to high school, even the girls who apparently gave me obvious signs I didn't think would be into me.
I didn't actually start getting bold and listening to my cock until I was about 20 and in University.
Then shit started happening.

[Exterminatore]

Because “Hawt Girls” are high maintenance. They’re hot. They know it. They know they have their veritable pick of the litter which tends to make the spoiled and fickle as well as unfaithful.

So I don’t wast my time with any chick higher on the scale than an 8. Got better shit to do than be part of some hot girls fan club.

[jsdfreedom]

Pretty much this.

[James_R]

There's a girl I am interested in now and won't ever step up and ask. I feel that she's either out of my league or taken (by a male or female). We get along fantastically well, she's fun to be around, but I'm not going to risk losing what we do have for something that might not work.

Instead I'm trying to gauge interest by watching for signals; body language, speech, and visual cues like nervousness or flicking the hair.

Yes it's stupid and I am being ridiculous, I know this already.

[GoodManDave]

I have enough issues trying to ask out "regular women." So a Supermodel type, I wouldn't be likely to approach to ask her out. I may talk to her, but I think there would have to be some reason.

Regular girls make me stupid enough without them being stunning. I'm keeping quiet with the ones that I find gorgeous. The more I open my mouth, the more likely it is that I sound like an idiot as it is.

[ak667]

Not for me, but there is another dimension that makes girls hard to approach for me. It's not hotness but height. When I find really attractive girls who are, say, 6'6, then I find it difficult to approach them (though I have). It just feels strange to flirt with a girl looking up when my face is level to her boobs. It throws off my whole kind of game... I start to feel "cute" instead of "manly" to her, and I'm not as experienced playing the "cute" angle.

[ak667]

But for girls just slightly taller than me or my height or shorter, no problem. Doesn't matter how hot they are.

[ak667]

In particular there was this one girl I found so attractive.. and she was ridiculously tall -- I think 6'8 or so. And I didn't realize how tall she was until I approached her and then stepped down a couple of steps (I was standing near the bar area and she was two steps below) and found my head level to her chest while seeing her looming over me.

And that pretty much messed up my entire plan right away... so I was like, "Uhh, hello... wanna make babies together?" (that's all I could think of out of desperation). And then she scratched me on the head and said I was so cute... and I didn't really know how to work with the "cute" thing and try to turn that into a date, so I kind of fled and went back to the bar area and climbed those two steps again.

[Kkaos]

I guarantee half the chodes who are voting yes probably don't even approach at all. In reality if I'm going to approach, I'm not going to waste my time if I'm not attracted to her, therefore I'm only going to approach girls who I find very good looking, this is basic common sense.

[winterfox10]

Some women just don't have an approachable air about them though. A lot of the ones who are like that, also happen to be really attractive

[Kkaos]

@winterfox10 Yeah, I'll normally try and make eye contact first and smile and if she smiles back then I'll approach, he she gives me a bitchy look then I won't. It's just an easy little test in order to avoid wasting time.

[winterfox10]

cyber high five! I do the same thing. I've definitely saved myself a lot of aggravation that way

[Kkaos]

@winterfox10 Haha definitely, respect man

[acreativeusernane]

Surely, you know when someone is out of your league. I'm not attracted to the "pretty girls" who are slammed with make up and such so I never have an issue with going up to a person because they are in my case not that one girl everyone has a crush on

[RIVERTAY888]

l scare girls of with my good looks they tell me that they thought that l would not date them as they were not very nice looking and that is just not true one girl told me on here that she was ugly and said that l would not like her l told her that was a lot of rubbish and that she is very nice looking thats called low self esteem

[triximan]

I struggle to approach an average looking girl let alone a good looking one. Whenever I see a really really hot girl I assume she's either 1. Taken (to a really hot guy), 2. Wouldn't be interested in me as she'd want someone more on par with her level (a really hot guy) or 3. Just generally fed up of guys approaching her. 😂 Either way, all 3 reasons mean I never approach hot girls haha

[GingerGuy]

Approaching for me depends on more than her looks, it's her body language and personality also. If she's "approachable" meaning, do I think she's friendly, wants to be approached, possibly interested in me also etc.

[StickStickity13]

Absolutely, most guys know their range. Only a small percentage ignore that and still try anyways. If you're a 6/10, you're not getting a 9/10. Your BEST case is a 8/10 unicorn that happens to like you. Usually you go with +/- 1 of your attractiveness scale.

[IDKCanYouHelp]

It depends on weather i have a chance with them. If i think i dont have a chance then its easy to talk to them and approach them. But if i think i have a chance then its really hard💀 I don't know im weird like that. I have no problem with talking to cute girls i dont think i have a chance with

[ManFrom1982]

Yeah there are 10s that are intimidating, but at this point in my life and career about the only thing a girl could be that would make me put her out of range in my head is actually celebrity status or something along those lines.