what is up with this kind of excuse to reject someone? Am i missing something here or what?
in any case a rejection is a rejection and the reason matters little.
Money, money, money 💰 💵
Nicely said. Thanks for your input.
And i believe if 2 flexible and career oriented partners are dating then it can work. But like you said it's probably not that likely
I think people who say too busy have insecurities or they have a fucked up view if what a rejationship hs. If you think it’s like constant advertising and self promotion and secrets , then yeah you’re too busy for that kind of mental gymnastics.
The best way to hurt a man ego is to smother him, or not beeing crazy in love with his private part.
From the moment, you are a woman, and you think you are going to help a man with his career, he ll be nice to you of course then once gets to where he needs to, he will start to impress the woman of his life and you ll be thrown away like the crazy girl who thought she could get to his heart by beeing actively the one who helped him becoming the man he is.
The last part of your comment is false.
When a man says I'm busy, you let him go build his pride, you move on and trust life enough to meet up again later and see if you are still a match :)
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Maybe they are just not interested and saying they are focusing on their career is a softer blow on the guy or girl.
Wow! I'm so sorry some people are that disgusting. I want you to know most people wouldn't do something like that. And it's just a life lesson for you. Your career isn't ruined. You just have to get back on track. People make mistakes and I'm sure your parents will remember they made mistakes in their lives too. Its definitely not best to get into a relationship when you have little time for the other person. Get things set up with your career then try finding a good woman. Also know that someday that girl will pay for what she did to you. Life has a funny way of doing that.
@PinkMichae Thanks for your kind words, and I respect my parents a lot they have done immense sacrifices in raising me, they sure do remember their days as well, they have put their everything on stake to send me there to fulfill my dreams but I ended up with this, they had expectations with their son, so they were just disappointed, also I know they were equally feeling bad and broken for whatever has happened to me, they never blamed me or said a word to me they supported me all the time even when I skipped the exams and returned home and told them what happened to me, my mom cried for me and hug me and they both didn't even say a word besides they tried to cheer me up all the time, they have done a lot for me and forgiving my mistakes before I could say sorry, am no one to raise my head in front of my parents besides that it's me who have broken their trust I realized that was mistake, but I have moved on struggled hard and have a succesful career I am a chef & a restaurant owner :)
I'm so happy to hear in the end you have a happy ending. Good job and it sounds like you got some great parents.
Sad story bro! I am sorry to hear that. My point was not putting relationships above career and studies but given with the right person (and not a cheating whore) it wouldn't impact career. You said it yourself, it may even boost it. There are a few women out there, who would help you claim just that instead of bitching, that you have never time or never make time for her.
There are 1000s of kinds of women.
Your ex girlfriend was a piece of trash polished to be all shiny and pretty on the outside.
Thanks for your support Bro, but my point was to take precaution as you never know what can possibly happen once you are in a relationship. and what a person can do to you once you let them enter in your life then you have no option, prevention is better than cure. hence If I have something really important to me, I would be more cautious not to ruin my focus if something goes wrong and in certain unavoidable circumstances, even if you are in a relationship with a very good lady still there are no guarantee things will go smooth, some people just have compatibility issues which they realize later in relationships hence you just can't focus when you are going through emotional up and downs and stress, relationship boosting you up is almost a fairy tale world thing. really is different.
@Unit1. You're right that women shouldn't bitch. But there are some men who will put their careers before their family in which a woman should say something because you need to find that happy medium. That's if the man has a choice in which he won't lose his job over it. But men who have the choice and choose to be at work and barely spend time with their family isn't right. And I think there is a way to tell a man you want more time with him. You don't demand it. You let him know how much you miss him. That's not bitching. That's caring.
@PinkMichae, Of course, there is a way to demand everything and that's how understanding goes between two people, but if a person keeps on demanding attention and ignorant about your situation and condition that means they are with you for all the good only and they are pretty much self centered such a person cannot make good relationships, a good relationship goes by not caring for yourself but by caring for each other, a selfish man would give birth to another selfish man because once suffered from this he/she will do the same with other, it's like an eye for an eye, which we face nowadays, a man blames women and women blames a man, instead a bad person needs to be blamed, this gender war started because of people like this who wants their own fulfilment satisfaction and once they are done they leave the person in miserable condition, a selfish person can never make a good relationship don't force yourself into one-sided thing, having a good partner is bless take care of each other.
Precautions is the right term (that's like wearing gloves to not get burned when handling something potentially hot). I can agree with that and on top of it to promise you won't let the relationship impact your career and academy. This is called taking responsibilities and it's quite an unpopular thing to do.
@PinkMichae sure, that's alright. There's a difference between peacefully or directly communicating and just plain releasing frustration to an already tired man, who just came from work.
@Unit1, In the end, you are a human an emotional being you are not a machine, no matter how strong you are and how hard you try to keep your promise, it still affects you and that's what makes us human, responsibility is not just to keep your promise at all cost, it's about understanding your weakness and acting according to it so you won't do anything that affects your promise instead of pushing yourself you have other ways, and that is why you should take precaution because you have made a promise.
I run a small business, but I have a few customers that give me 30-100k of work per year, and if something isn't working or if they need something taken care of, I have to do it, even if it means longer hours or working a day off or whatever. I know exactly what you mean about people needed to understand such things - you don't have time to battle the "you're cheating on me" or "you're ignoring me" accusations.
I may be in an attic or up on a ladder or twisted up on the floor working in a tight space - OR I'm in the middle of making a sale or explaining something complicated to a customer, and I can't stop what I'm doing to answer a "whatcha doing?" text.
And, sadly, a lot of people just can't understand or accept that. People like us can't be in relationships with those people.
You have my full understanding and my support. I myself am quite busy and i would say the exact same: Can't respect my duties = can't respect me.
That's why I said "unless you work like 60 hours a week or work AND study both full time". Something like that is understandable.
I'm completely confused here.
For your reminder i said, that the "i want to focus on my career" is mostly a bullshit one and a cowards way out of rejecting someone.
I can't agree with you that once in a relationship nothing matters.
Well for me a few things will always matter to me over any relationship. These are my career, my privacy and my health. Any relationship impacting any of those are not worth and i would break up without a second thought.
No time for dating is still a better reason. It's realistic at least. With the right partner your studies or career won't be impacted.
However, people who are actually focused on career don't get into situations where they have to use it as an excuse. If you have the time to fuck around and then make excuses for not being serious, you are NOT focused on your career. You're just playing at it.
@HereIbe You got a point I concede. I, myself would place my career ambitions first and above sexual pleasures, but then I am an atypical person and probably don't fit in the standard matrix.
That does not mean I would totally abandon my sexual needs but would not take my needs for excuses to have fun. I would however place my career before family planning if I were truly focused on my career.
Then why don't you leave your career and stick with your boyfriend you will never meet one like him again let love overpower societal expectations on what you should sacrifice.
I think a girl /woman should never stop working because of a boy/man. You can't expect the other to Work for your money. Focussing on your career and not having a career at all are two opposites. If you are building your career but it isn't your Number one priority then you are not Focussing but quitting because of that is really stupid. You can't rely on anyone but yourself. Only 1 out of 3 mariages last. Don't count on a man or woman to take care of you. Make sure you can take care of yourself so you are not UP to a surprise if you have to because your man left or got disabled.
No guarantee that your career will bring you money either. You will probably spend all your life paying for student loans wishing you had never made the decision to fallow your Career. Money brings you material possession but it does not give you what you really need.
This is just what i meant lady! Well said. I was having this context in mind, that you would just need to date someone, who is just as career oriented.
Well, that's what you get for not doing your part. You can always maintain a healthy relationship with an understanding partner. It sounds like your former boyfriend was flexible but you didn't want to.
I know!!! He was “the one”. I will never forgive myself for that. That was 16 years ago and it still kills me.
There are many reasons for it being valid and it can also be very personal for different people. Some people think that a partner and kids would mean they won't be able to give as much time, effort and energy to their career as much as they could if they remain single.
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