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Thats because it isn't a valid reason. This person is making an assload of assumptions about what the other person wants. often times this stupid excuse turns into *married with a baby on the way a year later* "Yeaaaa well, life sometimes has a way to doing things tee hee!" Have some balls and say to the people who hae interest in you A. I don't find you attractive. B. I'm not interested in a relationship with someone unless they can provide me with enough resources to make my working obsolete. Simple. "Oh, well I'm on track/ I already make X amount of money." Y'know fucking communicate?
Women NEED options, ALL of the options. Numerous doors, numerous 'back burner boyfriends.' But DO NOT call them sluts, opportunists, or users. lol
Everyone is afraid of love and commitment these days. The amount of options are high... instant for many considering technology and dating apps, the emotional expense is too great if something fails, and a lot of people just don’t think it’s worth it to put themselves out there like that.
It’s not like the old days where you were confined to your immediate area or small town and you just got with the local girl or guy you liked the most that was still single. We have such an instant exposure to the world now these days. It’s hard to be happy with what you know when you know that there’s so much more out there.
And I mean, your career can literally lead you anywhere in the world these days. You might not be living in the same place in 6 months from now, maybe not even the same continent.
I totally agree with you. If you meet your soul mate nothing else matters anymore, I met two guys who I clicked so well with I was even gonna give up my dream of moving overseas for had they not rejected me FML. The first guy stated I'm not his type physically while the other one had one bullshit excuse for the fact that I'm apparently not good enough for him or he didn't feel the connection like I did, the excuse being our driving distance of two hours smh. I'm not even worth driving two hours to him, makes me feel like shit. Obviously he wasn't as into me as I was into him, if he was all and any circumstances don't matter, I'm completely with you on this one man.
I'm completely confused here.
For your reminder i said, that the "i want to focus on my career" is mostly a bullshit one and a cowards way out of rejecting someone.
I can't agree with you that once in a relationship nothing matters.
Well for me a few things will always matter to me over any relationship. These are my career, my privacy and my health. Any relationship impacting any of those are not worth and i would break up without a second thought.
Duh I meant the circumstances of work, location etc don't matter anymore ;)
Be it driving distance, focusing on one's career... All most likely bs excuses.
Oh, then that makes more sense now.
I wanna focus on career than on a relationship right now. I mean I'm 17 it's not like I'm getting married soon I can chill I don't know why people are so stressad about it at my age. They should be more stressen about their career cause without grades no high school, no high school problaby no good job.
I want a Good job in the future and work with music on the side to see what happends and now I'm working a lot so I don't even have time for a relationship. We would meet like 1 every 2 weeks lol. So it is definatly for valueble reasons
Here is a valueble reason and I'm sure there are many others too
It's one of the reasons why I don't have a girlfriend. Tbh, I never had a girlfriend and if I happen to find one as of now, I would be overwhelmed and probably wouldn't be able to focus on my career. And finding a girlfriend with all those trust issues and all makes it even harder for me to go out of the way to look for them so I don't do it as it will hinder my studies. And who knows whether or not she will be able to understand it or not or be comfortable with my decision. My studies require most of the day and I'm used to play video games, so I think there's no time for me.. at least for a year or two.
No time for dating is still a better reason. It's realistic at least. With the right partner your studies or career won't be impacted.
I agree. But for that, I have to find that 'right' understanding partner out.
Nothing wrong with that. It's actually normal.
Some people have had enough and they just wanna focus on self improvement and not do the same mistakes over n over again
Or other people are just so passionate about their career that they ignore everything else
And let's be honest here, relationships are a hassle and take too much time most of the times
The usual relationships yeah.
The minority where it's a walk in the park at any day of any age - it's not draining. Unfortunately that's why they are also a minority.
All this stress on "oh, make me happy. do this. do that. don't do this. don't do that. anniversaries. marriage. kids. bitching. complaining." and that takes all the fun out of relationships.
Exactly
Also work and focusing on oneself could make them a better partner in the future and give them more experience about dating/other people than an actual relationship
Remember, love yourself before you love someone else
Pretty much that!
its not valid at all its bullshit
when someone really wants to be with someone they will find the time to do that
career will not run away u can do it even when u are 60 or older ! but the person u could meaby love and spend rest of ur life will run away
so use ur brain not the dollars $$$
I use both. Can't handle life properly otherwise.
Every friend & relative I have who has also said ""I want to focus on my career" actually did exactly that. They weren't afraid of commitment. They just wanted to "improve on an already good thing" to better & easily manage whatever life can dish out on them. They're all happily married now.
I just find the whole thing strange. I work 60 hours a week and I'm still in a relationship, as is everybody else I work with. I think a lot of people today just have such silly ideas that they think are sensible when they make no sense.
Nice!
No it’s true
I am focused on my career
I genuinely don’t want to date
I want to build myself up in many ways for a bit
Many people feel this way but some might say this as an excuse to avoid commitment or being honest about feelings
mostly guys
There you have it. You said a better reason why you don't date.
"I genuinely don’t want to date"
Looks like its a temporary thing but it's alright. I myself have felt like that before.
I work in Business Development, and while it's normal office hours I don't have control over where I get sent in the world.
I decided to pursue a relationship and I am now engaged, but it's tough and occasionally heartbreaking. I can completely understand anyone who wants to focus on stabilising their personal circumstances before getting hitched.
Considering what I want out of a relationship, it is valid for me to say that I do not have the time currently to make it happen or maintain it. While admittedly I would still be open to it happening depending heavily on the person, I am too busy to dedicate time to "casual" dating.
To be honest and fair, I think that the build of this Take calls a wrong impression of what it should.
It instantly asks the viewer to call out whether saying that "work is important" becomes a getaway for a relationship ~ there where no one actually knows the context of the story behind it, since it will strongly determine the answer.
It depends. Do you have a loving supportive partner who understands your work commitments and is willing to be lonely sometimes or do their own thing while you work. Or is your partner selfish and paranoid, while eagerly encouraging you to support their expensive desires and hobbies?
I think it is a valid excuse. Not because they don't have time for a relationship but because that is not where there focus is. Not everyone places the same value on romantic relationships. Some people find the same type of fulfillment from their work. There is nothing wrong with that. Does it still hurt? Obviously, but as you said a rejection is a rejection.
Not wanting a rejationship is not the same as wanting kne but being too busy.
@VIVANT I feel like most people who say they want to focus on their career are focusing on it because they value the fulfillment from their work. You make time for the things that are important to you. If finding a romantic relationship is important to you, you make the time.
I don’t disagree, but on that case you are not using work as an excuse. It’s just what you want.. the question was about making excuses. That’s all I was responding to. 😊
@VIVANT An excuse is just a reason for something. It doesn't have to be negative. My excuse for missing work the other day was I was out sick. It's perfectly valid, but still an excuse.
That is true but I was not saying it’s negative. Just that You don’t need a reason to not do something you don’t want to do. And I think anyone using work as a reason to not be in a rejationship just Durant want a relationship. People have partners bc it makes life easier not harder- unless it’s a bad relationship in which case you shouldn’t be in it.
I am also not claiming anyone should or should not be in a relationship... I just wouldn’t date someone who had used ‘ time’ as an excuse. It’s a bad sign the they are not realistic about how time consuming life is - for anyone. I also forsee getting blamed for their own neurotic connection to time consciousness. But that’s my opinion.
Anyhiw, I was just saying that not valuing a relationship is not valuing a relationship. You don’t need an excuse / reason or what have you , to not do things you are indifferent to. To want a relationship bit think you lack the time necessary, is not just not wanting one.
You can always find reasons to not do things you don’t want. None of the specific reason matters. There will be another to take it’s place.
Women have to be very careful about directly rejecting men. Some men react violently when a woman says "Sorry, not you. I like that guy over there, but not you." It's safer for women to just deflect. This happens a lot, not just in dating situations. Only socially awkward people expect every message to be spoken directly.
Depends on them really, and what they are focused on at the time. Some people just don't feel ready for a relationship until they have everything else in their lives stable, even if the right person is smack in their faces. So it can be valid. But others can use it to either let a break up happen more smoothly in their eyes or to let someone down easier if they aren't as into them.
Not sure. It's very possible that they simply know they'd be unhappy and dissatisfied being in a relationship where they only get to see each other every other week for half a day at the most. For some this is perfect. For others this sounds like hell, so they'd rather be single if they can't make more time for a relationship.
It’s a valid excuse. A relationship depend on a lot of things. Sometimes you can put all your efforts in that but your partner can leave you, the second he doesn’t feel very happy.( something you can’t control). While working hard on your studies will always be rewarded, World can be unfair and ungrateful but hard work will someday be rewarded if you put your faith and your your heart in it. While a relationship will depend on a lot of things, and it might be scary.
I think it can be a pretty valid excuse. That's not to say it always is but relationships can be incredibly distracting and a real hindrance to progress.
Well how would you know that someone was "the right partner" without entering into a relationship with someone? You wouldn't know for sure that they wouldn't begin to impact on your work life, regardless of how perfect they may seem to be in the early stages of seeing them.
Depends on the partner
Sure, but as I said, how are you going to know that unless you enter into a relationship with the person?
That's what we have dating for.
Dating someone and being in a relationship aren't necessarily the same thing. Both in terms of the label and the experience