Is the "I want to focus on my career" excuse a cowards way of avoiding a relationship or a valid excuse? (Page 2)

Question

I've seen people saying here "i want to focus on my career" seemingly at the price of having a relationship. I think unless you work like 60 hours a week or work and study both fulltime like i do right now (and even then i was able to make time and room for a girlfriend) it's a bullshit excuse and there's a different reason why this person does not want a relationship. A simple "I'm not interested in a relationship (with you) (right now)" would do much better and displays even honesty.  what is up with this kind of excuse to reject someone? Am i missing something here or what?  in any case a rejection is a rejection and the reason matters little. Money, money, money 💰 💵

taleswapper · Answer

Both. Because it's a valid excuse, cowards use it when it's NOT true, to keep out of relationships. Wouldn't work nearly so well as an invalid excuse, would it?

medanne · Answer

I'm focused on my medical career. As a medical student, I'd rather study hard to be able to choose a good specialty, and have fun with my friends in the little free time I get.

Honestly, by the time I am a resident, I believe I won't have any problem choosing a partner.

alice55 · Answer

it's an actual And valid excuse but I think majority of people who use it just use it as an excuse, they're surely too lazy to get into a relationship so thet say that after they're people who truly mean it.

Spahija · Answer

It highly depends. I want a relationship but between my job and going back to university I barely have time to exercise. Some people can't handle as many stressors in their life. On the other hand. If they aren't working that much and just want some side action, it's an excuse.

ronaldo75 · Answer

This isn't really a question that gets a hard yes or no answer. Two busy people can make a relationship work as long there is a constant level of communicaiton. We live in a networked and interconnected world. If someone works 10 hours a day then goes to night school then little text messages here and there and a converstaion during my lunch hour is very much a loving relationship to me. NO ONE is too busy to have a relationship, anyone who says that is full of shit.

HereIbe · Answer

Total cowardice. It's just a whiny excuse used by weaklings who haven't the balls (real or metaphorical) to say "Just not feelin' it."

I now expect whiny little cowards to start telling me how wrong I am.

antonhavree · Answer

It depends on the person. If the person feel that a relationshio woulf distract him/her and make it harder to achive their goal in terms of career it id a valid excuse. However there are instancrs whete it is used just to avoid relationships.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Sometimes its a nicer way to reject someone without saying it or they could really just want to focus on their school/career at the moment. Most of girls at my job are in college and aren't thinking about relationships at the moment.

little_bird1 · Answer

Yes. If they rejected you with an excuse like that, then that means that they're just not interested in YOU. But if they dumped you with a reason like that, then that means they are immature (it's still a legit reason, but a very, very immature one).

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Valid reason. There might be lots of stuff to do after hours in addition to the time on the job. It can be very draining and the person might just want to spend off-time by himself/herself, or catching up on sleep.

Ellie-V · Answer

Some people want both but don’t have the emotional capacity for both. If someone is really in love with their craft, there may not be room or motivation to make way for another commitment.
Not everyone’s heart operates the same way as yours.

Aerrow · Answer

If they dont want to be in a relationship then you can't do much about it, focusing on yourself in any aspect is important so it takes priority. If they just dont want avoid straight up saying no then it might get annoying.

Goodwifie · Answer

At one stage I just needed a break from being in a relationship, it had nothing to do with work.  But there are people who just do better when they put all their eggs in one basket.

rgb008 · Answer

I think it depends on the career.
Like if you're a full time nanny or whatever- not valid in my opinion
But if you're a resident in the medical field or in law school or something, id say its valid as you literally have no time for anything else anyway.

scottyderps · Answer

Everything is person to person. Take a step back and look at your relationship without any emotional attachment. If your gut tells you he's fobbing you off. Then you know what to do.

Anonymous · Answer

It certainly can be genuine. If you meet someone supportive and understanding then it can work, but the chances of that aren’t particularly high so...

NatashaJ · Answer

I don't get it there so many successful people who have big milestones in their careers and were married and have kids. If you can't handle multiple things at a time oh boy good luck in life.

Dtegesd123 · Answer

I think it is an excuse. If you think about it, how many hours do you really spend together while in a relationship. For me its usually only 5 hours a week. I'm sure everyone can find 5 hours a week to spare.

drdidier2 · Answer

Some people want money more than relationships. Why not? Let them do what they like.

nalaa · Answer

Cowards way out. If you're gonna live like that, there's never gonna be a good time. You'll always be busy working on something.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

It’s a cop out excuse. The man’s a bitch, he got what he wanted out of you and doesn’t wanna give you what you want. If I where you? Bounce. There’s no need to waste your time on someone that isn’t serious

Massageman · Answer

It could be either. It's certainly easy to say it just to dump someone and close the topic. Your second choice might have read "reason" rather than "excuse": it should never be an excuse. Either way, they should be able to explain it honestly.

Kiran04 · Answer

Doesn't really matter one way or the other. Once someone decides they don't want a relationship with you it's over. Whether their reason is "valid" or not doesn't really have any effect on the situation. Just distance yourself from that person or cut them off entirely on move on. I've been butthurt too over bad break up or never start excuses, but it didn't change the outcome one bit. Buck up and move on.

Daniel3035 · Answer

For girls yh.
For guys no. Unlike girls who eventually get pregnant and stuck at home with a wasted degree guys need time to do university masters and postgrad. Like me. I can’t physically do my University work and manage a relationship and everything else especially in a science degree it’s just impossible. The i’m focusing on a career isn’t even an excuse it’s the truth.
But for girls it’s just an excuse to play hard to get.

Mr-Kabuki · Answer

its actually up to you. are you working on your career to avoid relationships or are you actually working on your career to work on your career?

SarahsSummer · Answer

Its not a cowards way out of avoiding a relationship in general, but it is an excuse used when he/she just isn't that interested in you.

jimyee · Answer

I don't think it's cowardly, it's either the truth of the person is trying to be considerate and let the other person down easy.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

It's not valid. You can always make time for someone if you really want to even if you're focused on your career. They should just say they're not into you.

Anonymous · Answer

It´s ridiculous. Like you would have to shut other people out of your life to have a career. Total bullshit. I used to work 80 hours weekly myself.

Lysander89 · Answer

You live your life and you should always keep options open to finding them out there. Never should you hide behind a career.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

I say I want to focus on grad school and myself right now I don’t see how that’s avoidance I’m telling you straight up.

Bluemax · Answer

It is more often than not a way of rejecting someone indirectly.

Aynsof · Answer

It is neither really  It is a more narcissistic self indulgence than cowardice If It is a valid narcissistic self indulgence... That depends on your values and beliefs

lernulo · Answer

Im not sure, in fact it can be both, I always flirt on tinder because I dont have time to go out And I can't make it with my colleagues. But I have seen many people using that excuse

clampfan101 · Answer

Typically B, but it might depend how “deep in” they are. He might feel like he’d be a burden to his girlfriend until he was more financially successful.

zagor · Answer

Maybe they want an actual relationship instead of just getting together now and then to fuck, and so would rather go without than have an unsatisfactory relationship.

ATuairiscean · Answer

I think that people believe it is a valid reason but possibly there are deeper reasons.

LittleRedSongBird · Answer

Depends on if this person is telling you this excuse because they are flaking on you or if they mean it. People work hard and chase their dreams. Some are cowards. It's up to you to decide what you believe their intentions are.

CasaNorba · Answer

is a super valid excuse since after all your career is what betters and strengthens you in life, not relationships

Aenetoo · Answer

It's valid. If the person has no time for it. And it would be unfair to a potential partner if u couldn't devote some of your time and energy to them.

adolescentswede · Answer

I agree with you re conclution not convinced cowardice is the common reason, though it would be accurate on me

Uglyman97 · Answer

What they mean is they're too ugly to get a boyfriend or girlfriend.. and they use that excuse so that they don't seem like complete losers

cth96190 · Answer

In the case of a female, it means that she has drunk deeply of the Feminist Kool-Aid.
Such a female will miss her fertility window and spend the latter half of her life as a bitter, angry, childless cat lady.

BaileyisDarcy · Answer

Cowards way out? Excuse? What, do you have to be searching for a relationship to be validated as a humna being or something? Fuck off, its not required for people. to live their lives

JesseTheMan · Answer

It always sounds pretty dumb to me. I don't see why you need to only focus on one aspect of your life. And besides, people who overvalue their work that much annoy me.

Gil-Galad · Answer

I dont know but I had a similar reaction like " i dont want anyone in my life atm" So I gathered all my courage and asked her out and she pulled this.

Dark93 · Answer

It's valid if it's a demanding career and they're just starting out. They want to be well established in the company before the distraction of a relationship gets into the mix.

justtalk2me · Answer

It also depends on the person. If they look like they have a good thing going and want to further themselves, then yes. But if they r 30 and still at home with no motivation to leave... Then prob just a bullcrap excuse

Anonymous · Answer

Saying that before even trying ain’t it  Try it and make it work. If it doesn’t work, then I don't know the girlfriend and boyfriend has figure out i guess

YoGuyLogan2003 · Answer

Of course it's a coward's way out. Everyone should have a job until they are old enough to retire. Basically, it's like saying that you don't want to date until you retire, which just sounds plain wrong.

Prof_Don · Answer

There are married couples with children that also have careers. So this is ALWAYS an excuse.

nerfetiti · Answer

no its not if a person knows what they want and a career is at the top of the list of priorities then hey they want a career more than they want a relationship with the next person

hakon96 · Answer

It's valid, but it basiclly means that they care more about themselves than they do about the relationship

stf75013 · Answer

this person is living their life and don't need your validation so...

A good income job is a long term investment and you're maybe here for a short time relationship ( under 5years) so there is nothing wrong here

Anonymous · Answer

Google on the internet " the time management matrix of Covey". It will help you a bit more with it. And second ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship right now?

Kitty22012 · Answer

Putting "Money, Money, Money" at the end got the song from Mama Mia stuck in my head.

Anonymous · Answer

It is actually a reason that I’m not in a serious relationship, it’s a committed relationship, but we agree that we can’t have expectations of a lot of time together because I have too much going on to spend a lot of time together.

John_Bouff · Answer

Fuck the corporate drones I work 10 hours a week and I still eat at restaurants all the fucking time. Work smarter, not more (like a bitch)

niDaye · Answer

I knew very successful women who had an outstanding career after having multiple children. That is more than 2 years with her big belly

Muhammad1999 · Answer

I need to focus on my career since it's really hard , thinking about girls will even make it harder so

Is the "I want to focus on my career" excuse a cowards way of avoiding a relationship or a valid excuse? (Page 2)

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