How do/would you deal with getting rejected after the first date?

How do/would you deal with getting rejected after the first date?


I've never had much success when it comes to dating. I've tried online dating again and met a guy. I assumed that we had a great first date but he doesn't share my enthusiasm.
How do you get over being flat out rejected?

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What Guys Said 48

  • I'd like to know how you feel, I gain an impression from your pic but one picture may not represent you. How do you feel about yourself?

    It's a question of how much you've invested emotionally at that point. Rejection, separation, ghosting hurts.. it conjurs feelings of separation, alonennes, makes you think of what you don't have, what others do have (comparison), can lead to depression even. I had invested in someone emootionally online and they bailed on me, so that hurt terribly. I learned

    Just think of it as extending your heart (emotional) to someone. If they reject, your heart, it hurts. If your heart is secure inside, with your self worth and esteem, it doesn't hurt as much.

    A Jedi dating mental trick is to change how you think. View each encounter as giving your best in that moment and what it's worth. Learn what you can accept what you have. If there is nothing more, you are still whole and gained something value. (I didn't say that well hopefully makes sense). Compare that to putting all your heart and future on the line, dreaming about your family to be, and finding it will never happen. first approach is better...

    The problem I have with what you posted is you are obviously, really attractive, but your energy says "stay away" I am hurting. It's just one photo though... what's going on inside?

    You get over it by accepting the loss, grieving it, learning from it, growing from it, and resocializing in positive ways. Stress can kill you, or make you stronger... depending upon how you view it. It is your belief that changes things!

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    • 20h

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  • If I thought we had a great connection / compatibility, I'd be confused or even shocked. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know finding the right partner can be very tough. For me, I wouldn't stress about it much because I'd want a girl to like me for me. That's huge to me.

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  • Just stop dealing with that person and move on. It's only the first date and sometimes shit doesn't work out between us. The plus is, usually (assuming both people are fcking adults), we'd have no hard feelings between us.

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  • Don't take it personal. Just move on to the next date. I probably would exercise, go out and have fun and party to get over the rejection.

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  • You just have to understand that is nothing personal. We have to understand as adults that everybody that we like and I necessarily like his back. so what you just have to do is move on put it behind you to somebody out there for everybody I don't know if that's you and your profile pic but you seem like a very attractive young lady so you're out there get some more get back into the things that you like doing and go out there and be great live your life

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  • Sadly nothing you can do, but move on. It feels depressing and to some, and others might identify with self blaming. In the end pain and failure are lessons so take notes and try again.

    Don’t try to bury your emotions and run away, learn from the mistakes and never lower your standards. People who settle usually become very passive aggressive with their partner, and grow to hate them.

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  • Well I have been on dates with several women I noticed that the ones that don't ask me questions are the ones I usually avoid and not try to get a second date with. I like asking questions about her but I do not want it to be one sided which is usually what happens

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  • Well getting rejected does beat being ghosted any day. But they both still hurt and I usually end up just lying in bed wanting to do nothing for a while.
    I'm sorry your recent date didn't go well.

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  • i just move to other person , whatever if she does not like me i can't change that , i had to go on first date 5 times with 5 different girls before i met my girlfriend , so it takes time

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  • I'm not a very emotional person so I don't get that affected that much. I'd suggest you get back to some hobby you enjoy and take how much ever time you need doing things you enjoy and maybe try another date later

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  • We guys get this all the time, see how it feels? lol After a while, you just come to expect it. I expect it so much so that I don't even bother with the first date anymore. I'm happy alone.

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  • I don't think that was being rejected as much as your
    lack of compatibility with
    each other. Dating is about
    finding that person who best
    fits with you.

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  • U can't make everybody as all of dem have different prefrences , infact u should be happy dat dey didn't fake it bcoz if dey did u might have been more hurt at a later stage, dnt loose hope u will get d best around

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  • I would be bummed. But don't let that stop you. So someone rejected you after the first date. There's someone out there for you. Just keep searching. 😉

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  • There are many fishes in the sea. Dates are a series of trial and error. You continue till you get it right. This shouldn't hurt unless you were looking at his beauty and then you were expecting more.

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  • I prefer a rejection to ghosting or the slow fade. How do I deal? I just do, it sucks but the show must go on. After a few rejections it becomes easier.

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  • lose your weight (you have to be a landwale)
    or
    stop aiming for male models/hot guys (no hot guy will ever go in relationship, if he can fuck a new chick every time he goes out. Men are hardwired to constantly reproduce)

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    • 1d

      Dude... she's literally on her profile picture. Look at her. She's pretty.

    • Show All
    • 14h

      @Benedek38 she's camera angle frauding, and/or trying to get male models in relationship.

    • 13h

      She put up another picture. You can clearly see that she has a rather petite body. What's your obsession with making this chick ugly?

  • Well first date rejection is rife, I used to think they were all crazy, but, as I've gotten older I realised maybe they were right to reject me, not because I'm a bad guy, but I started meeting people I truly on well with and had chemistry with, and I realised, I like them a lot more than. Anyone I met before.. my point being, don't worry about them, find the person you truly hit it off with, and your dates will hit an all new high level.. and otherwise, you may find someone you don't particular hit off well with, but they may be adoring you, and then you will have the choice to take it further or say goodbye (the flip side of your current situation)

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  • Look at it as one more date closer to finding the right person

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  • That happens to me as well. Great dates. Then nothing. Happens 50
    Percent of time. So I just go on to the next.

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  • Been there. You just shrug it off. I think it’s easier to do that if it’s after the first date because you’re not all that invested right?

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  • Ask why see if he gives a good reason then go from there if he gives a bad one understand u was simply not compatible

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  • I instantly move on once rejected. It doesn't bother me at all.

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  • As a full-time single parent, I don't have time for dating. Only for sex.

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  • So the usual… :-D No, I don't even get that far. :-D

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  • I don't, it's just a date. Not like i have been with the person for years. I go on as if nothing happened

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  • I stopped going on dates unless I know the person. It's just in this era, it's hard to seek yourself when girls don't know what they want.

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  • I usually don't even have a first date. But when it happened, strangely, it was easier if that didn't work out. Because at least I've tried and a chance.

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  • yes mee im in the same boat as you love. can't figure out what i expect from the other half. regection is another form of frustration maybe sexual maybe not.

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  • I don’t care for second dates. Too much awkwardness

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    18

What Girls Said 18

  • Here is the thing. You're looking to find a life partner, not a 'for now' partner. If you don't have your priorities straight and get right to the point of you seeking a partner, then your not going to be successful in finding the right kind of person for you. I highly suggest and tell people plenty of times:

    1. DO NOT get emotionally attached to somebody you do not KNOW
    2. Make sure both of you share the same values, beliefs, etc.
    3. Do not HIDE your true selves to attract somebody.
    4. NEVER EVER go for somebody just because of their looks.
    5. Give up on unrealistic expectations.

    When you follow these simple rules and apply it to yourself you will be able to properly navigate who is right for you and who isn't. You were obviously not somebody who he thought he can get something out of. Guys like that who gives you no closure about the date are only after one thing and are not likely serious. His attitude seemed fishy? Move on, don't miss him. Never assume the person had a great date, you cannot speak for them. If they don't call back or message you concerning the date, they aren't serious about you.

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  • Hell I’ve been rejected before the first date.
    For the ones after, I just moved on to the next guy. I used online dating too. Eventually I found the dude who wanted a second date. And he’s now my boyfriend.
    I guess apart of it is being confident enough in yourself first before you start dating. Because if you don’t know you’re a great catch how are they supposed to know?

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  • Remind yourself there are better guys out there that DO want you, and that person that rejected you obviously didn't see what you had to offer.

    I sulk, fume to my close friends, hit the gym, listen to music, write... anything to help clear my mind.

    And when you're ready, try again.
    One day the right guy will cross your path when you least expect it.

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  • Better question is why do guys think we have it so easy?

    But anyways, to answer your questions, I personally wouldn’t care because a first date is just a first date. I don’t take much stock in those occasions. And if you are feeling particularly down about this in your life I advise you to stop trying to hard. Sometimes the more you look, the less you can see. Like when I’m trying to hunt down my hair ties for hours when it was right in front of my face

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  • Sucks, especially if I really liked the guy, but what can you do. Let it sting for a little bit, and then brush it off and move onto the next.

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  • Well, would you have been beter to have him reject you after a few months of dating when you probably fell in love with him?

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  • if im rejected after the first date it doesn't bother me... i just say well i guess im not their cup of tea.. haha why would you care after the first date you barely even know the person lol

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  • it's only a first date. I just dust myself off and move on

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  • Take what you learned and apply better the next time

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  • Many fishes in the sea , really. I simply move on. Next.

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  • The first date? That's to be expected. Dating is about looking for compatibility and feeling out the chemistry. It doesn't necessarily matter that you got along well via text or liked each other's pictures. In person meetups are an important step. I went on several first dates before meeting my boyfriend. The ones I didn't go back out with weren't bad guys or even unattractive, just had a different energy level, off vibe, or we weren't compatible in some way. No big deal. Why waste each other's time?

    And I never had the guy front a big bill... meet for apps or a drink. Greedy girls give everyone else a bad name.

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  • Accept it that he was not interested in me and move one. Maybe play some Videogames and listening to some music to distract myself.

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  • Work out. Brush it off. If I'm not worth his time, then he's not worth mine.

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  • The way I deal with many things. Cry

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  • I just moved on what else can you do.

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  • Just move on lol no point waiting around

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  • Just move on

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  • Move in and focus on other things. It’s only the first date so it’s not too much of a big deal, even if you really liked them. The worst is when they play with you, learn to recognise that and do yourself a HUGE favour and cut it off.

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    • 1d

      It happens to the best of us. Don’t be one of those people that give up and resign when things get hard. Just do what makes you happy and work on any realistic weaknesses (we all have them), but do it for you, not anyone else. Life is one big constant lesson if nothing else anyway. But remember that you’re awesome as you are and when you meet the right person it’ll just fall into place, it won’t feel like effort. Rejection isn’t such a personal thing either so don’t internalise it too much, not everyone is compatible with everyone in terms of a relationship, maybe friendship suits you better. But your guy is out there, and you’ll know when you meet them, it’ll just happen.

    • 1d

      *on*

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