How do/would you deal with getting rejected after the first date?

Question

I've never had much success when it comes to dating. I've tried online dating again and met a guy. I assumed that we had a great first date but he doesn't share my enthusiasm.
How do you get over being flat out rejected?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I'd like to know how you feel, I gain an impression from your pic but one picture may not represent you. How do you feel about yourself?

It's a question of how much you've invested emotionally at that point. Rejection, separation, ghosting hurts.. it conjurs feelings of separation, alonennes, makes you think of what you don't have, what others do have (comparison), can lead to depression even. I had invested in someone emootionally online and they bailed on me, so that hurt terribly. I learned

Just think of it as extending your heart (emotional) to someone. If they reject, your heart, it hurts. If your heart is secure inside, with your self worth and esteem, it doesn't hurt as much.

A Jedi dating mental trick is to change how you think. View each encounter as giving your best in that moment and what it's worth. Learn what you can accept what you have. If there is nothing more, you are still whole and gained something value. (I didn't say that well hopefully makes sense). Compare that to putting all your heart and future on the line, dreaming about your family to be, and finding it will never happen. first approach is better...

The problem I have with what you posted is you are obviously, really attractive, but your energy says "stay away" I am hurting. It's just one photo though... what's going on inside?

You get over it by accepting the loss, grieving it, learning from it, growing from it, and resocializing in positive ways. Stress can kill you, or make you stronger... depending upon how you view it. It is your belief that changes things!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well at least you actually met on the first date. Can you tell me a time this the below has happened to you? In the last two years this has happened to me:

- been stood up twice. One girl I met organically (at my old job) too
- met 3 to 4 “meal ticket” bitches. These POS women go on dating apps for no other reason but mooch free meals off guys. This is why I never buy dinner on date one
- had one girl say she had to “use the bathroom” 10 mins in on the first date. She left and then blocked my number and unmatched me on bumble.
- had another girl stage a bullshit emergency that her dads “tire was flat”. She at least left money for the meal but she was still a liar.
- met countless flakes and liars. One girl I have been talking to via bumble for almost a month. We were supposed to meet up last Saturday after she returned from visiting her family. She inexplicably blew off both my last text messages when she used to respond gleefully.

Now with all that pessimism above I have met a couple okay girls. We stayed friends, made out and a few I slept with. But none of them are relationship material or if I thought they were they don’t see me as relationship material.

So quit wigging out over one date that went bad. It could be worse. Women have such a privilege in the dating scene but almost all of them take it for granted.

I have be “tough” and keep trying. But I tell it’s jarring it’s hard not to get jaded. I don’t expect every girl I meet to be my dream girl who wants bang me immediately. But I do expect respect.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Here is the thing. You're looking to find a life partner, not a 'for now' partner. If you don't have your priorities straight and get right to the point of you seeking a partner, then your not going to be successful in finding the right kind of person for you. I highly suggest and tell people plenty of times:

1. DO NOT get emotionally attached to somebody you do not KNOW
2. Make sure both of you share the same values, beliefs, etc.
3. Do not HIDE your true selves to attract somebody.
4. NEVER EVER go for somebody just because of their looks.
5. Give up on unrealistic expectations.

When you follow these simple rules and apply it to yourself you will be able to properly navigate who is right for you and who isn't. You were obviously not somebody who he thought he can get something out of. Guys like that who gives you no closure about the date are only after one thing and are not likely serious. His attitude seemed fishy? Move on, don't miss him. Never assume the person had a great date, you cannot speak for them. If they don't call back or message you concerning the date, they aren't serious about you.

Tracey426 · Accepted Answer

The first date? That's to be expected. Dating is about looking for compatibility and feeling out the chemistry. It doesn't necessarily matter that you got along well via text or liked each other's pictures. In person meetups are an important step. I went on several first dates before meeting my boyfriend. The ones I didn't go back out with weren't bad guys or even unattractive, just had a different energy level, off vibe, or we weren't compatible in some way. No big deal. Why waste each other's time?

And I never had the guy front a big bill... meet for apps or a drink. Greedy girls give everyone else a bad name.

Ellie-V · Accepted Answer

Better question is why do guys think we have it so easy?

But anyways, to answer your questions, I personally wouldn’t care because a first date is just a first date. I don’t take much stock in those occasions. And if you are feeling particularly down about this in your life I advise you to stop trying to hard. Sometimes the more you look, the less you can see. Like when I’m trying to hunt down my hair ties for hours when it was right in front of my face

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Remind yourself there are better guys out there that DO want you, and that person that rejected you obviously didn't see what you had to offer.

I sulk, fume to my close friends, hit the gym, listen to music, write... anything to help clear my mind.

And when you're ready, try again.
One day the right guy will cross your path when you least expect it.

Pinay_ako · Answer

it's only a first date. I just dust myself off and move on

v851234 · Answer

Well first date rejection is rife, I used to think they were all crazy, but, as I've gotten older I realised maybe they were right to reject me, not because I'm a bad guy, but I started meeting people I truly on well with and had chemistry with, and I realised, I like them a lot more than. Anyone I met before.. my point being, don't worry about them, find the person you truly hit it off with, and your dates will hit an all new high level.. and otherwise, you may find someone you don't particular hit off well with, but they may be adoring you, and then you will have the choice to take it further or say goodbye (the flip side of your current situation)

PasticheGrizzly · Answer

Hell I’ve been rejected before the first date.
For the ones after, I just moved on to the next guy. I used online dating too. Eventually I found the dude who wanted a second date. And he’s now my boyfriend.
I guess apart of it is being confident enough in yourself first before you start dating. Because if you don’t know you’re a great catch how are they supposed to know?

cavmanier · Answer

If I thought we had a great connection / compatibility, I'd be confused or even shocked. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know finding the right partner can be very tough. For me, I wouldn't stress about it much because I'd want a girl to like me for me. That's huge to me.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm honestly too worried to get my heartbroken to date. Like I'm totally not into the whole dating game so if I'm into a girl she gets all my attention but if a girl rejected me after the first date I'd be depressed because for me a first date feels like an achievement you know.

AriesMale · Answer

Sadly nothing you can do, but move on. It feels depressing and to some, and others might identify with self blaming. In the end pain and failure are lessons so take notes and try again.

Don’t try to bury your emotions and run away, learn from the mistakes and never lower your standards. People who settle usually become very passive aggressive with their partner, and grow to hate them.

kreamykraemez · Answer

Well I have been on dates with several women I noticed that the ones that don't ask me questions are the ones I usually avoid and not try to get a second date with. I like asking questions about her but I do not want it to be one sided which is usually what happens

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

You just have to understand that is nothing personal. We have to understand as adults that everybody that we like and I necessarily like his back. so what you just have to do is move on put it behind you to somebody out there for everybody I don't know if that's you and your profile pic but you seem like a very attractive young lady so you're out there get some more get back into the things that you like doing and go out there and be great live your life

Nivinxus · Answer

Just stop dealing with that person and move on. It's only the first date and sometimes shit doesn't work out between us. The plus is, usually (assuming both people are fcking adults), we'd have no hard feelings between us.

Anonymous · Answer

That's the thing, I don't really go on dates. Every girl I've dated I've met in some kind of social setting among friends and my longest relationship was a girl from high school. So it's usually friends that I end up with. Dating makes me nervous for some reason, so I don't do it

coolbreeze · Answer

Don't take it personal. Just move on to the next date. I probably would exercise, go out and have fun and party to get over the rejection.

Burgerboy21 · Answer

Well getting rejected does beat being ghosted any day. But they both still hurt and I usually end up just lying in bed wanting to do nothing for a while. I'm sorry your recent date didn't go well.

GingerGuy · Answer

We guys get this all the time, see how it feels? lol After a while, you just come to expect it. I expect it so much so that I don't even bother with the first date anymore. I'm happy alone.

BananaGrey · Answer

I don't think that was being rejected as much as your  lack of compatibility with  each other. Dating is about  finding that person who best  fits with you.

Galian84 · Answer

Sucks, especially if I really liked the guy, but what can you do. Let it sting for a little bit, and then brush it off and move onto the next.

Anonymous · Answer

Move in and focus on other things. It’s only the first date so it’s not too much of a big deal, even if you really liked them. The worst is when they play with you, learn to recognise that and do yourself a HUGE favour and cut it off.

sasukeuchiha7 · Answer

I'm not a very emotional person so I don't get that affected that much. I'd suggest you get back to some hobby you enjoy and take how much ever time you need doing things you enjoy and maybe try another date later

bhavy24 · Answer

U can't make everybody as all of dem have different prefrences , infact u should be happy dat dey didn't fake it bcoz if dey did u might have been more hurt at a later stage, dnt loose hope u will get d best around

boggboss · Answer

Ask why see if he gives a good reason then go from there if he gives a bad one understand u was simply not compatible

scorpios · Answer

if im rejected after the first date it doesn't bother me... i just say well i guess im not their cup of tea.. haha why would you care after the first date you barely even know the person lol

How do/would you deal with getting rejected after the first date?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How do/would you deal with getting rejected after the first date?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.