So I am always single. While I am only 24, I know I’m going to be alone forever. I rely on dating apps to meet people and we all know they suck. I’m told I’m cute and while I don’t think I’m ugly, I know I’m not attractive enough to attract guys like other women I’ve seen. I can never find someone that I find physically attractive. All the men I’ve spoken to via apps that are attractive either only want something casual, no connection or feelings are not mutual. I don’t really care to have sex but still, companionship would be nice. I mean women that are always single usually are able to find a partner in no time, the beautiful ones at least. If I was attractive, I would attract guys with no problem. I think I’m single due to poor fortune.
What is your opinion of a woman that’s always single?
She’s unlucky
She’s picky
She’s crazy
She just hasn’t met the right guy
She doesn’t want commitment
Other
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+1 y
I like how all the men are saying the women are picky
What is your opinion of a woman that’s always single?
There are many reasons why women stay single. Some are very independent and aren't willing to give up the freedom and make the sacrifices that a relationship requires. Some are too picky about what they want in a guy. Some have a personality trait that keeps guys away. Some don't like sex or are afraid of it and actively avoid letting a guy get close enough to them that they'll expect sex and so guys get frustrated and move on. Some have low self-esteem and assume a relationship won't work without even seriously trying. There are probably other reasons also.
So, considering all the possible reasons for it, I don't really form opinions about them because I don't really know what the reason is. I probably assume there must be some reason why they stay single but I don't assume that it's a particular one (unless of course she makes some statement that makes it clear why she's single).
You said a couple of things in your question details that I think might be a factor.
"I know I’m not attractive enough to attract guys" - I seriously doubt that. I have seen plenty of average looking or even below average looking women that are in relationships. I myself have dated some women that most people would probably call average looking, but I thought they were appealing. Different guys have different ideas of what they find attractive.
What exactly do you think is not attractive about you? My guess is that you're being overly critical of yourself. A woman that doesn't like how she looks can be a turn off to guys, but that is something you can fix.
"I can never find someone that I find physically attractive." - Maybe you're expecting too much? And if you are mostly interested in companionship and don't care much about sex, does it really matter whether a guy is attractive? Average or below average looking guys can be good companions.
"I don’t really care to have sex" - Does that mean you really don't want to, or you just don't care much whether you do or not? If you really don't want to, that could be a problem because I think most guys are going to want to have sex regularly. Not all, but most.
My guess is that you can find someone. It might take some work and some time, but most likely you can. Maybe making a few changes to yourself will improve your chances but it should be possible.
Hey. I’m one of the few men out here who refuses to use dating apps. I’m old fashioned. My body tells me which women to approach and my personality reels them in. I’ll approach any woman anywhere at anytime. Besides work because I don’t poop where I eat.
Anyway. One of the things that encourages me to approach a woman is the vibe she gives off as she moves.
Smiling-She’s friendly. In a good mood.
Frowning-She’s the spawn of Satan. She will tear my head off for looking her way.
Dead serious. A smile can make or break you in the dating world. I’ve learned to ignore my nerves when I see a woman who “appears” to look mean but sometimes I choke.
Anyway I think you should delete your apps and hit the dating scene. Put on a nice outfit, walk confidently and start smiling softly at a few guys during your daily routine. I’d approach you if you caught my eye. If you really want to start YOU could start approaching. I changed my friends dating life after I taught her to start approaching men. She went from submissive to dominant fast.
As someone that's eternally single, let me take a stab at this one...
If I run into a woman that's single, I'd probably first think, "She's smart and doesn't want to deal with the idiots in the dating scene..." LOL. I mean it's really not my place to judge why someone's single. Hell look at me, I've been single 10 years, but I'll be honest with you anon: the older you get, the less people care about your status. When I was in my 20s, people thought something was wrong with me because I couldn't get a boyfriend. And yeah, it hurt.
Now that I'm in my 30s, no one hardly asks that anymore! And the few that do are so shocked I'm single because most people assume by your 30s, you're already married, taken, or seeing someone.
I'm single for varies reasons: I'm tired of playing the "dating game." Most guys my age are either taken, married, or flat out not interested in me. The rest that are single just want hookups or to fool around, not a committed relationship- which I'm NOT interested in. I've also been single so long I'm actually happy this way and am not really pursuing anyone. If someone comes along? Great, but I'm not going to stress over it. And I have other priorities in life: my job, fitness, friends, and I may even go back to school again. Dating just isn't high on my list of priorities right now...
So don't worry about what other people think about you. If you're single and okay being that way? Good for you!
you say you are told you're cute and you don't think you are attractive enough to find a partner? you say yourself you don't think you are ugly, and if you are told you're cute that means others find you attractive. actual ugly people find partners. you are just one of those girls who want to attract MANY men instead of just one who is right for you. the problem is not your looks, it's the lack of confidence and negative attitude. once you are happy being by yourself, the guys will feel positive vibe coming from you and they will want to be around you more, want to date you. of course those guys in apps will say they don't want anything serious. guys feel like those apps are a lot of fun, they look at 100 different women a day, and they are rarely there to find ''the one'', they just want to meet girls. so if they sense a girl is very oriented for a serious relationship that puts too much pressure on them. try to be casual as well, obviously not sexually, but if any of those men are just fun to talk to and get along well, meet them, eventually you will find a connection with one of them and only then will they consider something more than just a casual thing because no guy wants that straight away
I don't care what others say or think. I can do what I want whenever I want without having to refer to others or needing their approval. It is the best thing one could imagine to be single.
There are no fights, no verbal abuse, no mandatory sex when he wants it, no need to give excuses that I do not want to be intimate, no obligations of any kind towards a guy.
As a matter of fact, I like it so much that I intend to stay single my entire life. Right now, my studies take up all my time and I don't really know where in my tight schedule I would put any relation that would absorb even more of my time.
It is not that I am ugly or not attractive. That is a totally different thing. I am constantly being molested and hit on by guys. The opportunities are not what is missing. Also, I am not into being sexual since I don't practice that kind of sports or activity. It is a total waste of energy and time.
One can live perfectly happy without sex and being single. I have my network of friends that I meet casually but to make it clear, all my male acquaintances are automatically friendzoned since I am not into any romantic/physical relations.
I just love being single and would recommend it to anyone.
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I am also 24 and have been single for 3 1/2 years, and was single for 1 1/2 years before that (only had two relationships). I chose that she just hasn't met the right guy yet. I am not really actively looking because I just have no interest at this time, but wouldn't be opposed to it if I met someone I really liked. I could also say that I am picky, because I settled for less than I really wanted the last time and the relationship was horrible. I would much rather be single than with someone I can't be happy with, and I was honestly miserable in both of my relationships, so I'm not super excited to get into another one.
It will happen when the time and person are right. It may even happen when you least expect it, that's the way life tends to go a lot of the time.
I know what it is like to want companionship, but I have found that my friends are the best companions. I don't owe them sex (I have major fears in this area, unfortunately), I can relax and be myself around them, there are no grand expectations like my exes had, etc. We keep each other company and have fun together.
Also, I am considered an "attractive" woman (according to what I've been told at least, lol; I think I'm average or maybe slightly above). I still can't find a suitable partner in a short amount of time and guys don't flock to me or anything. Anyone can find a partner "in no time" if they're willing to settle or just rush into a relationship with them. It just may not be a happy relationship. Honestly, in my experience, the people who jump from relationship to relationship and are never single for very long at all are usually settling, trying to force, or rushing into relationships because they can't be alone, and the relationships are usually destined for failure. I see a lot of people doing this, and they'd be a lot better off if they'd slow down a bit and quit trying to force and rush things.
There is never anything wrong with being single. Anyone who thinks that a woman cannot get a man for *insert reason here (ugly, crazy girlfriend, etc)* without actually being told does not know how to go about it. If you haven’t found a guy that a) appeals to you while b) treating you at the basic level and someone you like, than that’s ok. It doesn’t mean there’s anything you’re doing wrong. Now if you were a crazy girl, than you would be doing something wrong but you’d know it. You just seem like you haven’t found the right person. Being single shouls NEVER be a characteristic of someone’s personality. Relationship status should be kept completel apart from who a person is. Anyone who thinks they relate believes that you NEED a man in order to be a full person. It’s as if they think it’s part of your personality as I mentioned. No. They are weak. Don’t buy into it. The good men will respect and love you for who you are, not so much if you’ve been single all your life. Personality matters.
And remember, as Cher once said, “A man is not a necessity, a man is a luxury. Like dessert.” You don’t NEED a man to live on this planet.
I am that woman. What you need to realize is none of their business of what their opinion is of you. If they find you crazy, picky, unlucky or whatever excuses they want to make, remember they're 9/10x after ONE THING. What matters is: ARE YOU HAPPY/CONTENT in your SINGLENESS? Its not about physical or sexual attraction. Its why your always single. You being attractive is not going to solve anything. And this is from somebody being called attractive 70% percent of the time, ugly 30% of the time. I grew to not care anymore with these guys. Sure it hurts, but what matters is that I love myself. Who cares. Let a woman judge them and then all women are evil.
Or just guys in general and it's a pain in the neck. For myself I mean.
Look. It doesn't mean that you're not like by Guys. Somebody has to like you. But how can they like you if they don't even know you? Don't that just sounds stupid that somebody likes you simply because? They only going to want you for your body and for sex anyway so you might as well not even waste your time even worrying about if you're worth it to them or not. You more than deserving for the relationship and the kind of life that you really want. At the end of the day these selfish men are not going to care about your needs and values. The right guy would approach you and try to get to know you. Not because you're pretty or because you're attractive. So you cuz you got something that others don't have and they want to be able to be a part of that life that you got. If you are willing to invite them in.
Trust me, it's not what it's all cracked up to be. People have to learn that others are not the same and we are more than just a body. You have thoughts, emotions, and feelings of your own and those need to be taken into account. While many of them are going to ask you about what about my feelings, your still the one that has to be subjected onto their way of thought that will determine if you will get commitment or not. And I'm pretty sure that is not the kind of relationship that you really want because that's exactly what many of these relationships are today. That's why I hate modern dating, and that's why I don't like the way how people choose to date today also. If a guy don't like me because of who I am as a person so big. At the end of the day I got to love myself. So if a guy does not want to approach you because you don't look attractive to them so be it. At the end of the day who really cares? You have to care and love about you. And only you can really love you. You have to believe that, or else don't even bother trying to convince people differently. They will have their judgements and reservations about you. You will have yours about them. Find a person who can transcend beyond what is physically in front of them and see the soul within you. And let them love that soul. Which is you. Because it's just a body. We'll all grow old, wrinkly at some point and die. Life is too short.
@R_Cakes91 Thank you and exactly that. You would think most men would read this about us and change their ways by now. They think we don't exist and we're right in front of them.
No, your intimidating to them. They don't have it for themselves so they figure you won't go for them or other nonsense. Others assume your taken already. They do it to themselves. But your the one actually single. You just need somebody who isn't afraid of your accomplishments and aren't weak about it.
You see, while I like the points you ladies are making, I feel people say men are intimidated by normal women so they can feel better about their situation. There are loads of beautiful women who get men’s attention all the time. How can they be intimidated by us and not them?
Because a lot of those girls sadly don't have those accomplishments that we do. If you can sing, and the other girl don't, they were rather go for the girl who supposedly would make the effort as opposed to somebody who already got the skill. If we're extremely good at math and we got a 4.0 GPA as an example, but the girl has a 2.0 GPA. 9 out of 10 times is going to go for the girl that has a 2.0 GPA, because in his mind at least if she don't have the guts to be more smarter than him. It's all basically shaming tactics a lot of men do today to make a woman feel dumb and down. They want girls and women to be like how the women in ancient times. Which is all good to for the right more reasons as women don't need all these things and we really don't. But we should have a desire to strive for better and not to be more than enough. But that's not enough for a lot of these guys. They say they want a smart woman and then when they finally get a smart woman they can't handle a smart woman. Then they try to go for the dumb woman, and then complain about the dumb woman about her being dumb. Afterwards they figure that's going directly in the middle will help, and sometimes it does. But often times and just goes to show you what kind of person you're dealing with. Women do the exact same thing to depending on their mindset. But at the end of the day we're dealing in a society that just honestly don't give a damn about you. They don't care about Godly standards they care about their own wants and desires. And me knowing that from a very young age is why I chose to stay by myself in those regards.
I know a lot of people will say it's feminism on that one and while I agree to some extent the rest of it is utterly ridiculous. We each have our own unique skills and gifts and apparently these guys don't really care about that they care about whether or not you're going to have sex with them before marriage or not. Many of them do not even want to have kids let alone even get married. Something that is normally expected when you want a sexual relationship. Both of you have to remember that this is a selfish world that we're living in. With selfish people always looking to see what they can get out of the other. While I cannot speak for the both of you, I know for myself that I am not that type of person that wants to be selfish and selfishly use others. But since they want to judge you harshly for not being sexual, refusing to do so with them whatever time they feel they should, then all of a sudden you're not worthy. Then when they get the girls that do do so all of a sudden they are a whore. A lot of these guys don't know really what the heck they're doing to themselves. You will come to see a lot don't care. But that's okay. What matters is that you care and have divinity for yourself. Remember that they are going to go after the girls and women that are twice as likely to want to desire sex with them and not just sex to begin with.
So at the end of the day you can't really pay attention to these idiots and waste your time and your tears on people they're not going to care about you. There is so much more to life than just getting into a relationship or having a family. You don't want a person who's going to drag you down. You want a person who's going to want to walk the same path with you. And leave the rest of the Dead weight behind.
Besides, I'll come to a hard realization that a lot of these guys are just envious and jealous of you, that they can't even do that for their own selves to attract the woman they want. Is not that they can't they just refuse to do it for themselves because they don't think they have to do it. But sadly a lot of these girls will go for these guys anyway and hope to try to fix and change him until it's proven that they can't change that person, and then they ready to dump him too. So ladies, dry your tears and stop with your depression and oppression spouts. Just get on with life. You won't be able to find a real man that you really want and need for yourselves if you keep crying the blues on guys that's not even going to pay attention to you. They love the attention in the chase you get them into you ended up in the arms of another man and that's you going to treat you right, and those same nutcases all the same ones as going to want to try to get your attention now. Remember you owe them nothing. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself and grow and mature into the women that you want to be.
When I was reading your post I thought I was reading about my own experiences. I’ve ALWAYS been single and unlike my other friends who have all had long term relationships, I’ve just not found someone I feel that with.
At the same time, I think a lot of people settle honestly. Settle for someone they don’t like that much so they don’t have to be alone. I’m guessing you have pretty high self esteem? Mine is pretty high and I don’t feel the need to be with someone unless I’m in love with them.
My personal opinion is that you’re fucking awesome and should keep being awesome. Keep exploring who you are and what you want to do in life. If there’s a dude who’s meant to be with you, he’ll show up at some point.
It's much easier to just completely give it all up on dating and relationships altogether. I'm indifferent about somebody that's always been single. You either keep trying no matter what the results are or you simply give it all up and stop trying at all anymore. Even if you found somebody and finally are in a relationship, there are still no absolute guarantees of "fulfillment", "happiness", etc. in case those are your expectations and I presume that they are. It's all completely random and inconsistent, hit or miss, your mileage may vary kind of thing. Worked really well for some people but not for everybody and it' just never consistent.
I don't want to be mean, in any way, but maybe you have already decided in your head, that you are going to be alone, and don't realize that you give off a bad 'vibe' or 'feeling', or maybe you just don't even know you are saying things that reinforce the idea of being alone, like subconsciously self-sabotaging yourself!! You say 'If I was attractive', so I wonder if maybe you don't show enough self-confidence, that makes the guys you want try to get to know you. Maybe you are just looking in the wrong places, for the wrong guys? What about trying to meet someone through some cooking classes, or some recreational group, or church group, or something, and just start by meeting, and being friends, and see where it goes?
My number one tip is to stop using dating apps and find ways to build your confidence.
I've been single for 2 years and have gotten offers for dates, but only went on two in the past few months and chose not to continue seeing that guy. Personally I've spent time healing from a past relationship and going to college. Relationships require a certain amount of attention that I haven't wanted to put forth at the moment.
Instead of focusing on being single, just live your life. Your more likely to find somebody while doing things you enjoy or by letting your friends set you up with people. However, solely focusing on the fact that your single can typically lead to you attracting the wrong type of guy.
You just haven’t found the right guy yet. Give it time but also get out there. Don’t sit in your room and think that Prince Charming is going to knock on your door. I always suggest whatever your interests are to find clubs or groups that have the same interests... that’s a great way to meet like minded people. Doesn’t matter what it is... religion, politics, the chess club... start there. Even if it’s basket weaving and it’s all old ladies in it (some of them will have sons lol) get out, meet people and network. Good luck! Every guy is mr. Right to somebody... go find your Mr. right
Dating apps are ok but know that a lot of guys are there just looking for hookups. This to me is the key... don’t look for a boyfriend. Look for friends. Because no one can have enough friends and the greatest relationship you will ever have will be one that started as a friendship. That’s the main reason I suggest looking for friends in clubs with shared interests. I am so lucky to have a wife that enjoys all the things that I too enjoy. We love the water, we go kayaking, boating, we love guns and go out shooting all the time. Picnics in the parks... hiking. I have a built in best friend to do all these things with... its great! I hope you find this too
Lol a dating app. She was going to school in PA and I was in NJ. I started chatting to her and told her the truth about me and my situation. (Divorcing and have 3 kids) she had zero interest in me but I messaged her a lot and asked about her school work, her interests and her life in general. We chatted for over 6 months until it was her birthday and I asked if I could buy her diner for her birthday. After that we saw each other every weekend for a year. Then she moved in. I hope you got from my story that patience is important... becoming friends through conversation and stories equally important. We have had our ups and downs as everyone does but we are strong together and she is my best friend
Actually if you read what I said “dating apps are ok” I didn’t say don’t use them. I feel meeting people in person is always better. And what I said is true... dating apps are a lot of guys just trying to hook up. I stand by what I said. Although I met my wife online I have also seen many horror stories from online dating. I can’t tell you what is best but I can tell you what I have seen and what I have done. And I believe you are misreading me if you think I am a hypocrite. I think the % of good relationships from dating apps to bad is low.
No problem... I only want to give you usable information and observations that I have gained in my life. I wish you the best and I hope you find the right guy! Good luck.
Don't really have an opinion on a woman that's always single. Some do it by choice, others just unlucky and can't find someone that fits their standards, some are trying to find the 'perfect' person and would shun away a guy with a flaw like a bit too short or their nose a bit too long.
At the end of the day, it's pretty much the choice of the woman if they want to be single or not, and I'd say, it's fine if you are single at that age. Better to find someone you know that will be good for you rather than just settle.
Short answer: D, although it can vary depending on the girl. Some are hung up on the whole "she-rah empowered woman" thing and just aren't willing to open themselves up to a relationship. Others actually just enjoy single life and are in no rush to settle down. In your case it sounds like you want relationship but haven't met the right guy, but also you're probably sabotaging yourself with pessimistic, self-defeating mindset. Also, dating apps are 90% trash in my opinion, go out in real world, get some hobbies, go places where it's expected that people are gonna mingle and meet each other. Some places are more social than others. Example: when people go to commercial gyms, they usually are there to focus on workout. But if you go to an indoor climbing gym, the culture is more sociable and you can meet people and climb together and make friends that way. So picking the right environment s really half the battle, the rest is just turning up and being your "cute" self.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I think that she's either enjoying her single life and not a fan of commitment, or that she's comfortable in her own and doesn't need to settle for anyone but rather be on her own until the right person comes along. Depends on her overall personality. I've been single over 2 years now myself and for me i'm just very picky I guess lol. I've had chances with several men but I didn't want them. And last guy I met was super clingy from like the second date so I moved on because that's weird. It's also important to be single in order to love yourself, gain confidence and know who you are which can be very helpful in the next relationship you enter.
typical female, "I Know im attractive and can attracted plenty of guys" "but none are good enough for me, i feel im entitled to have the hottest of the hottest guys even though im only about 6 or 7 out of 10" damn females and their big egos... always wanting more... why dont u jus settle for someone in ur own league? instead of aiming higher? u said ur attractive but not extremely attractive, then get a guy like that too, instead of mr perfect 10/10
i would like this question if u didn't mention ur only fairly attractive and want the best guys, if u said ur 10 out of 10 looks then id say yeah fair enough and wouldn't mind
Im a woman who has been single for a year. there's a bunch of different reasons why Im single. For one, I want to be in a relationship but Im in no rush. I want to meet the right guy but I try to prepare myself for that by being happy and secure in my life without a guy. I have healed from my last heartbreak but it took a lot of time, almost a year! I pretty much never felt like I couldnt attract guys but I do feel like guys may not approach me because I am a beautiful woman. If I wanted to be in a relationship I would have to put myself out there. So I guess my reason for being single is that I just haven't tried hard enough
I think they are smart (If they dont fuck a bunch of guys.) Staying single means you are patient, thoughtful, and unwilling to settle. I find it very attractive. Also dating apps are full of pervs, desperate weirdos, and horny guys.
Also a lot of women pursue careers nowadays, they dont have the time to date, or have a relationship.
You say that you can never find someone you find physically attractive. What does it mean? If no guy is attractive for you, maybe you are asexual, therefore you should try to find a guy who is asexual too, despite he isn't physically attractive for you, because I don't think you'll a physically attractive guy if you haven't found it yet.
1
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I’m not ace, I’m looking for a certain kinda guy and haven’t found it
Ok, you are free to do whatever you want, but it's much more important for me to find someone who makes me feel good than someone who is physically attractive, but I need to invest some time meeting a person to notice if she makes me feel good.
Well, I can understand and there is nothing wrong if you wish to be alone forever, single for life. Having good standards, high standards isn't wrong either. You don't have to change your thinking. In fact it is good that unlike many other people you won't adjust and compromise on things.
In fact being single there will be less burden, you won't be answerable to anyone, very less responsibility and unlimited benefits as well.
I make no such assumptions if all I know of her is that she always seems to be single. If she tells me she desires a relationship though and isn't having much luck, the first thing I'd question is how much effort she's putting in along with her social skills (often reflected by how easily she can make friends as well), how approachable she looks, where she's looking (she might benefit from mixing things up and socializing elsewhere), etc.
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