Girls do you prefer a guy to "cold approach" or to warm approach?

Question

I consider a cold approach to be when a guy expresses romantic interest upon meeting a stranger.
My general idea of a cold approach opening introduction goes something like "Hi, I'm [name]. This is kind of random, but I thought that you were cute and wanted to meet you." Followed by a conversation (if she's interested to get to know him) or some reason that she needs to leave/rejection (if she's not interested in getting to know him).

I consider a warm approach to be when a guy expresses romantic interest AFTER becoming acquainted with the girl a bit first (maybe over the course few minutes, maybe across the course of a few days or more).

Which do you prefer?

Guys, I'd also love to hear about your experiences in using these approaches.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Accepted Answer

When I've been involved in the pickup scene in the past, my results came mostly from cold approach, but i dated one girl from a warmer approach, and another girl i briefly dated after she pursued me initially over facebook messages (we had a mutual friend). The cold approach definitely failed more than it succeeded. But i didn't really learn any other way of approaching. So i dont have a 'control group' to compare against. So i can't establish cause and effect. Was my success rate low BECAUSE of the cold approach itself, or was there some other aspect of my behaviour/ actions/ mindset? So i guess the ideal is to test both approaches as a split test of sorts. Ie: do both cold and warm approaches, and measure for any significant differences in results.

I like cold approach because it shows confidence and cuts through all the pretense. This was big for me, coz in my teen years i was very insecure to show interest in a girl. I just crushed on girls from a distance. But the warm approach has merit, IF you're sincere in wanting to just socialise and "see if there's a connection". You can start out social then flip to more flirtatious. I think its dictated about 50% by the environment/situation (eg: cold approach if she's passing on the street and its "now or never"; warm approach if she's drinking shots with friends at a bar). And its also dictated another 50% by your own intentions in the moment (eg: cold approach if you're instantly smitten or strongly attracted to something in her appearance, movement, behavior, character, etc; warm approach if you think she looks interesting but you're not totally "sold" yet; or just approach her friend group as a whole if they appear sociable and you're out to meet new people and enioy yourself)

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

In my experience there isn’t a 100% effective approach. I use warm approach on girls I see regularly so it’s not completely random and she doesn’t feel “trapped” if she has to reject me. I make sure we’ve had a few conversations over a few weeks so she’s comfortable with me and knows I’m not “a bad guy”. So if she does reject me she won’t feel bad or in danger. It severely reduces how awkward it can get unless one of you are incredibly immature.

Cold approach (my favorite) is what I use on girls I probably will never see again. Why I use it?

Speed. Cold approach communicates to a girl why I’m talking to her without any bs.

“Hey, sorry if I’m putting you on the spot. But I noticed you while I was walking and wanted to meet you. You’re very pretty. Do you have a few minutes?”

Keep it simple and light. Don’t try to hard with compliments because it could come off as creepy or “try hard”. With three sentences I’ve communicated that I’m attracted to her and that I want to meet her but also I’m confident enough to do it.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

I personally don't like either one because both types of approaches are unfortunately coupled with very defined intentions that you call "romantic".

But you and I know very well what the term "romantic" means. It is basically nothing more than an attempt to get under a girl's skirts by approaching her, regardless of the temperature.

Why can't people of the opposite gender not talk without lewd intentions in the background? Why always put the "romantic" into every situation?

What I am missing in those attempts by guys (and perhaps girls) is an approach that is not dictated by the hormone peaks but solely by the intellect or personality of that target person.

Anoniemus · Accepted Answer

I have no issue with either. I find it more interesting if a man cold approaches, because that tells me something about him already (his confidence).

It's wise, though, to become friends with someone first and then ask them out... but what happens if she rejects? Do you slink off into the abyss or continue the relationship?

4mazing · Answer

I've heard many guys recommend the "I just had to come over" routine - I presume it's a standard PUA script. It sounds a bit cringey to me TBH. Probably because it is scripted. So yeah, I am more a fan of just saying hi and running your mouth and seeing what comes out. I have gotten some numbers and some dates this way years ago, but I didn't really have much in common with the girls, which is probably unsurprising, since they were chosen based on looks/aura.

I think you're more likely to meet a good match by taking part in lots of social activities (that interest you).

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Wow! Could you believe that women, whose only role in this is to have boobs and a vagina and wait to be approached, prefer that guys waste their time on them and give them some attention before they reject them (i. e. "the warm approach"). Isn't that just shocking? It's almost as if they don't care about our time and emotions, only their attention whoring! The "cold" approach is the one and only rational and reasonable option. Either she's interested and worth your time, or she isn't - and isn't. Simple as that.

octoberbabe · Answer

I like the cold approach better although either could work. The relationships that ensued after the cold approach were very passionate, open, honest. I liked that those guys were bold and wanted to tell me they found me attractive right away. It didn’t mean that pure attraction was all we liked about each other, but it was almost an easy place to start and grow from.

arabgoddess · Answer

I don't mind either way.. It depends on the guys personality. I feel the cold approach can appear quite desperate from some guys.. I've had that experience! My marriage was based on the cold approach but wasn't successful in the long term.
What I know now is that I find the warm approach relationship lasts longer ☺ and most likely look out for that!

RATETUI · Answer

Both of those are considered cold approaches. Warm approach is when the woman at least acknowledges your existance. Even if you run up on someone, and pretend to ask for directions before asking her out, that's still a cold approach. Either way, you're not going to get results. I observe people in public a lot, and see a lot of pick up artists in action. None have ever gotten anywhere

Hurlyburly · Answer

Warm approuch, but definitely not after just a few days, not to mention minutes. A few months or years seem more suitable in my opinion. That way I can at least know that he likes me for me and doesn't just ask out of the blue.

505error · Answer

I prefer when a guy just says hi and asks how I am. I hate it when he'd say "this is random but I thought you were cute and blablabla". That's just cringy. I'd hate the warm approach even more. So neither.

Boredoftrivialshiiit · Answer

Cold for sure. I hate playing the schroedinger's cat game where you know what theyre doing but they pretend to not understand until finally one side has enough and gets straight

SarahsSummer · Answer

since they can both take place "over the course of a few minutes", Are you essentially asking if we want the opening line to be I think you're cute vs saying hi and then saying I think your cute? Either of these scenarios is fine with me.

Prof_Don · Answer

A warm approach is so ingenuine and phony.

Don’t pretend to want to be friends with her!

Plus while the guy is being a lying weak punkass with his intentions... some other guy who is honest about his intentions may snatch her up!

Fallenangel249 · Answer

If your going for the warm approach, you have to be very careful. There is a time in the relationship when things become completely platonic and it's unlikely that they will move past that, so if you want to do the warm approach express romantic interest shortly after you become acquainted.

loveslongnails · Answer

I can't vote for any of the approaches because I don't think either one is particularly cold. The first one obviously has to be delivered more delicately, but as long as it doesn't sound like you're an outright sexual player, it's workable.

Screenwriter · Answer

Either approach can work according to how well it's done and how receptive the person being approached is at the time.

purplepoppy · Answer

The cold approach is used by guys who just want a girlfriend and anyone will do.

bellapizza · Answer

The cold approach seems more appropriate and respectful the other one seems like he is desperate lol

elite665 · Answer

Cole approach rarely leads to a relationship in my experience the girl will act interested give you there number etc then never meet u again

Mickey9999 · Answer

Either one seem pretty straightforward which is refreshing

serious · Answer

I think a woman would like both cold and warm approaches.

Meatunnel69 · Answer

Cold approach is the rapey impatient tactless approach.  Girls need to be swooned gently like picking a lock. It’s “slide into dm’s” not “kick her door down and force her to dms”

producer · Answer

Cold approaching only works if ur hot and dont look creepy. Warm approach is always better at least

Girls do you prefer a guy to "cold approach" or to warm approach?

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