Do guys actually want a loyal girl?

[Anonymous]

I’m asking this question because it seems like guys prefer girls they know will cheat on them or use them for sex or money. Then these same guys complain after getting burned when they knew what they were getting into in the first place.

They say they want a loyal girl who is there for them through the good and the bad, but their actions don’t show it.

I have had a few guys meet me before and they say they are attracted to me but they say “they aren’t good enough for me” because they say I deserve someone better. It’s confusing to hear this when they tell me that they want a loyal girl, but I feel like they really don’t want it.

[SmolBabey]

This is often a problem I faced when trying to date men (really boys) my age. A lot of them are just looking to have a good time for a short time and nothing more. The types of boys you're talking about are the ones who like the companionship but not the work that goes into a healthy relationship. If you're looking for someone who ACTUALLY wants to be serious and think about having a serious, long-lasting relationship, you will probably have better luck with older men.

Side note, "older men" does NOT have to mean 40+. Even 3 years older than you is SIGNIFICANT in the maturity of a man's brain. Boys do not mature as fast as girls. There's someone out there for you <3

[Asker]

I’m 25 and guys from mid 20s-mid 30s are like what I described. And guys older than that are the ones who are quickly trying to settle down because they can’t get women like they used to.

[SmolBabey]

Oh, yikes! I'm sorry that's been your experience thus far! I hope everything works out for you!! <3

[Elsa143]

Only losers want a cheating girlfriend.
I broke up with my ex because he said he WANTED A LOYAL, HONEST AND LOVING girlfriend.
I had those qualities so after quarantine he took me for granted and he DIDN'T HAD THOSE qualities that he demanded himself.
Now I think he is a perfect match for hoes and liars in my classroom.

[RemoErdosain]

The world is full of hypocrites. It sucks that this kind of stuff happens :/

[Anonymous]

I think the issue you are seeing is that guys are simply less interested in commitment than they used to be. But that should come as no surprise considering how society in general, and women in particular, have changed over the last 50 years. Commitment is far less appealing to men now because it is more risky and costly for men, and it offers fewer benefits for them.

At the same time, casual sex is far more accepted and accessible to men outside of committed relationships.

The bottom line is that women have reduced their value to men to mostly sex, and there is no motivation today for a man to pay the prices of a committed relationship or marriage.

[Asker]

I get what you’re saying but if that’s the case, then what was a woman’s value before modern times? Since you say now men mostly only want us for sex? Before modern times, women didn’t really do much. They were stay at home wives who only popped out kids and looked pretty for their husband. If anything, wouldn’t you think the value of woman is better now because we are working jobs too and if we’re married, that’s TWO incomes coming into the household.

[Opinion Owner]

You make the same mistake most modern women do, which is to assume men value the same things in women that women value in men. We don't.

Women of the past took the job of wife and mother much more seriously, and were far more valuable to men as a result. They actually raised their own children rather than hiring the job out to daycare workers who don't care about their children and can't teach them and love them the way a mother can.

Unlike the majority of women today, women of the past actually knew how to cook real food. They cleaned and shopped for groceries and took care of the home. Today's women expect men to do all those things too. In the past, a married man worked hard all day in a stressful job and came home to a clean, organized house and a nice home cooked meal, after which he relaxed and enjoyed an evening with his family. Today, married men come home to a wife who is just as stressed as he is from her own job and who hasn't made any dinner for the family, so the man is likely to have to stop on the way home from work to shop for groceries and pick up the kids from daycare. He'll probably have to either pick up fast food for dinner and/or cook and/or do the dishes and work on chores after dinner that would have been done by his counterpart's wife in the past. He'll go to bed knowing he'll have to get up the next day and do it all again without a break until the weekend, when he'll still have to do all the traditional men's chores like yard work, fixing the broken kitchen cabinets, etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Today's men have to put more work into marriage and they get less out of it. Our economy has completely adjusted to having women in the workforce now, and as a result there are VERY few married couples who can survive on a single income as almost all did in the past. Women bringing in an income now is not a benefit to men; it is a necessity for survival. Men don't get some additional benefit from it over and above men of the past. For married men, the quality of married life is much lower than it used to be, and that doesn't even take into account the higher divorce rate (85% of which are filed by women) and the fact that men get screwed in divorce court and child custody.

Both married and single men can get sex, but sex for married men tends to be lower quality after a few years.

Considering all the above, what motivation do you think men would have to get married now?

[Reaperbot666]

much rather have a loyal girl. want her to be with me for me not my things.

[AD240pCharlie]

It's a sad thing that people, both men and women, keep going for a partner they know won't be good for them. Men go for the hot, shallow girl with nothing to offer but good head, and women go for the thugs they think they can change (News flash: You won't!)
Oh, wait... No, this is how people behave in high school!
99 % of grown ass adults don't see dating that way!

[Asker]

I can honestly say, I’m almost 25 and I asked this question because I’ve gotten this from guys mid 20s to mid 30s. It’s like they don’t know what they want. I just don’t want my time being wasted when they tell me they are looking for a loyal girl like me and then all of a sudden they tell me they “aren’t good enough for me.” And the next few girls they date, use them. I don’t get it.

[AD240pCharlie]

Maybe you're looking in the wrong places then? Or go for the wrong type of guys? Or maybe they're just saying that because it's the social expectation. Outright saying "I'm only looking for someone to have dirty fun with" is not really something people are allowed to say without being judged.

[akshay1998]

It is not a general question that what a guy want, so it depends on guys, for example there are guys will not even date you if you are not loyal and there are guys who will date you even if they know you aren't loyal and at last no judgement guys who will date you with both cases.

[FollowtheFellow]

I guess it's something Moral. Men will ever want to have experience with other Girls as well and though it is easier for them to tell the Girl to have fun as well while in fact they want her loyalty.

[MotorcycleMan]

If they say it, believe them. There are more than enough who will lie about it.
Yes, guys do want a loyal girl. Even if they are cheating on them their selves. Messed up right?

[abc3643]

YES!

IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE WANT ACTUALLY!

[PureHuman]

everyone wanna a loyal partner, but we don't be loyal to others in relationships.
we do cheat on others, we do talk with others and watch sexual stuff.
everyone is a cheater here

[ArcadianBanks]

No loyalty and respect are my top 2 qualities to look for

[totakyes]

Yeah, those disloyal girls are fun, and they need to be taught respect. Often, measures such as spanking should be deployed. They know that they are bad girls who need to be disciplined, so they may go along with it. They need to be kept under close observation because they may have an affair when you're not looking.

There's a time and place for them to be bad, and that is at night, in the bedroom. That way, you appreciate their qualities to the maximum extent. They know this, and it makes them feel grateful. They don't want to hurt men, they just can't help it because they are out of control.

[AcidT0y]

Yeah of course. Why would anyone wanna get cheated on?

[Asker]

Guys (at least from what I’ve seen) get mad when you don’t cheat on them because they want a reason to go sleep with other people without feeling like an asshole.

[AcidT0y]

I don't know where you've been seeing that but I don't know anyone that thinks that way xD

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Of course we do. Guys value loyalty as much as girls do.

[Dchrls78104]

Guys that want girls who aren't loyal: good for them! I much prefer the loyal one.

[Juxtapose]

I'm bisexual and I have not had that problem with guys.

[sumant11]

A loyal girl who can be my fortress of solitude... that's it i guess

[Iron_Man]

Guys don't want girls that would cheat on them they want loyal girls

[Anonymous]

You just date/associated with animals what do you expect?

Not all men think like your topical 'bad boys'...

[Anonymous]

We want loyal but we also want hot... both those things contradict each other

[Asker]

What do you mean? I’ve been told I’m attractive but I value loyalty because that’s my personal belief.

[Opinion Owner]

Girls who are actually hot are never loyal unless the guy has money or fame.

[Asker]

Are you saying there’s a difference between attractive and hot?

[Opinion Owner]

YUP
A lot of women are attractive. The range of what men find attractive is massive.
But hot is much more rare. These are the top of the attractive pyramid.

[JamesBlackDragon]

Yes that is the number one quality I want is loyalty

[Ripper_E]

No idea what you are talking about

[jonahbona]

Do men want to be cheated on? No

[Thatsamazing]

... Duh.

[COMMODOREII]

I want a loyal girl.