If a guy invites you to his home it is because he sees you as a hook?

[goodgirl82]

This is a boundary hard for me to put. I will explain. I went on a date with a guy. We had chemistry and so, but he kissed me kind of passionate since that first date. Unfortunately, I was not able to set a boundary and not allow him to sit in my same chair, that was intrusive and I did not say anything. But this is the thing. Next time, he invited me to his home, he said he would cook for me, but I felt kind of insulted because I belive that if a guy invites you to his home, it is because he wants to have sex. I said I would prefer to do something else like going for a coffe, he was not so happy about it but he accepted. He behaved kind of a jerk, he told me about a very disgusting experience in high school i felt like he was trying to pull me away or something I dont know. Well the thing is that at the end he said something like “it was very nice to spend time with you,“ and kissed me on the cheek, I felt kind of bad after that because I was trying to behave cute as I naturally am, so I came on to my car and drove back home. Both times I paid my part. He never talked to me again, me neither is needless to say, but the point is this. I feel like just wanted to fuck me or something, so what is the point of setting a boundary with someone that invites you to his home if he already decide that he just want to have sex with you? What do you think? If a guy invites you to his home, is that a signal that he sees you like a hook?

[sawno]

If he invites you to your home he'd be open to having sex with you otherwise he would not do it. Doesn't automatically mean he'd need it to happen but it does mean he's open to it or even hoping for it happening. Doesn't have to mean being a hook either, obviously if you love someone you will want sex with them so why not do the date in a setting where its possible he'd have thought.

If a girl i like told me she'd rather do something else i'd respect that to and do something else instead. And i would not have done the date differently than if she had done the date in my house. And that is where your post starts conflicting with my own behavior causing me to think you assumed the worst here instead of him doing it on purpose. I am a guy who is really open, even if its not always going to depict me in a positive light. I don't try to win her over, i am me and want her to accept me for who i am. Sharing things she may not like is part of that test, its a risk. But if she doesn't react badly to me being me or sharing things i know will be controversial i know she's a keeper. So where you assumed he may have tried it to scare you away and turn you off on purpose, i see it as him daring to be open with you rather than trying to win you over.

So what is the point of setting a boundary? The point of having it not die before it begins. Its important for both of you to know where you stand and what you want. As long as that aligns you continue, once it does not that is where the journey ends.

[goodgirl82]

Okay I see your point. Thanks for responding. Now, The story that he told me was about him grabbing his balls on a teachers desk I don't know if that counts as something that you tell to open up... But I will take that in consideration. Now ehat do you think of this: if a guy invites you to his home, like at the beginning, but lets say that he does not have intentions to necessary have sex. But just to be aroung with his friends and so. If I agree to go, wouldn’t that make him lazy about him going after me since I accepted to go to his home? I just don’t like men inviting me for these 2 reasons. For the one in the question and because I feel like I would be putting all the effort. How could I suggest him to come instead of me going?

[Nerdvana]

Most of the time yes. A guy wants to hook up if he invites you to his place. But not always. Sounds you really like him. You are trying hard to make it work?

[goodgirl82]

well this was more than a year ago. I don’t like him anymore but I had this question because I am working on changing my taste in men. I believe that if a guy invites me to his place he would not be the one for me because a guy who is really interested would not make those invites, at least the kind of men that I want for me

[Iron_Man]

In most cases yes but not all cases

[asshole_]

Not really