*Trigger warning * Would you date a girl with a self-harm scar on her arm? (Page 2)
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I don’t think I could to be honest and that less to do with the woman in question and more with me. I have a very personal past with that kind of stuff.
I lost someone very dear to me from it after a long hard battle with it. And quite frankly I can’t emotionally handle going through that kind of situation again.
Now if they were old scars and they had conquered it and it wasn’t an issue anymore then that’d be another story. And I could probably deal with that.
it might seem like its in the way when its not really, normally it would take time for a guy to notice
I have noticed , usually it’s the girls that notice first and comment on them haha
yea guys wouldn't notice for a while, girl notice everything tho so dont act so surprised lol
Never understood why people do this, i know depression is a big issue but it just puts off your problems instead of facing them and coming out on top, i will never do that to myself and would i ever date someone who did it, honestly i can't answer that
I never understood it either, I get depressed a lot, but I never wanted to cut myself. If I ever wanted to hurt myself physically it would be to just kill myself.
Cutting is a way to get rid of stress
@OceanMelon yea cut at wood, piece's of paper anything that won't hurt you
No, its the pain that take your mind away from the stress
I can understand that in that case then.
It can also be addictive
@OceanMelon i see welp that's on you
Yeah, I know
Getting abused daily, being called pathetic , ugly , unlovable > eventually you start to believe it, if you grew up hearing the same things over and over. I went though a phase where all those words would play over and over in my mind and to take my mind off of it I would cut. So then I’m thinking about the pain on my arm instead of the pain in my heart. I know it doesn’t make logical sense and I wish I didn’t do it > but at the time I believe it helped to get my mind off of everything until I could find a therapist to help me deal with my internal pain in different ways.
@Asker I grew up hearing those same things over and over. The words can take its toll over the years. People say words don't hurt, but those people don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Those thoughts of what people say linger for years and years.
I feel you on that.
I grew up with a lot of things but despite that, making my self worse just because of what they say is wrong, pain is a means to a end, find something fulfilling and make hobbies, make friends that aren't pieces of shit
It's a bad coping mechanism yes, people who cut know this as well as anyone. But when you're in such a cloudy, broken state and you want to punish yourself so badly for whatever reason that may be, then that's an easy way to get their anger out. I'm not a person who cuts thankfully but I badly scratch when I have a breakdown and it's a similar thing though not as long lasting. Don't look down on people who do this, they're not cutting themselves for fun or to see what happens, they're cutting because they feel so hurt that they want to hurt themselves.
I have a few too...
but the past is in the past so they shouldn't even care
Thank you for your message 🤗Hopefully you’re in a better place now?
No problem <3 <3
I'm struggling a little still
but I'm working on it <3 🤗
As long as you're getting better and not worse x
That's nothing couldn't care less. Lara Croft. If it bugs you that much laser therapy is always an option.
I've been thinking about laser, it's just very expensive so I would have to save for a while
I mean that at best £500 people think its a lot but if you look at what you make in your whole life it's basically nothing.
If you were my girlfriend however and you ever did that to yourself without my permission again. Well let's just say your punishment will involve some temporary marks across your bare butt with my cane. And you'll remember that every time you sit down. Followed by a message and some bed time action. I've had a few girls who wanted to self harm, spanking gives you marks just like self harm only they're temporary and this seem to help their outlet so maybe it's something you should try if you ever need to.
Not that much of a problem. We are all at least a little broken inside, the trick is to find someone who can see you at your worst and still love you.
I love that! Thank you
My pleasure. We all deserve someone who can support and love us.
I agree
Honey, everybody has their issues, baggage, and skeletons in their closets. Anyone that wouldn’t look past that once they know it’s there, you probably don’t want anyway.
As long I felt you were truly past it all and didn't show any signs of depression or bi-polar like mood swings, I'd be ok with it. I'd actually be more concerned about a girl from an abusive family who hasn't dealt with it in ANY way whatsoever.
it's definitely a red flag for me. seing a red flag is not an immediate dealbreaker most dates have one or 2 of those. but it will make me very careful.
Yea I would it's not a big deal, tbf we all have our flaws, problems, mental demons etc none us are perfect , I dated a girl that self harmed but only saw her once it wasn't that that put me off was her bpd she hardly spoke
Some guys might want to care for and protect you. At the same time, others would be wary of a potentially unstable person. Personally, I’m more of the caring type and if I loved them, I wouldn’t mind at all.
if you love them you love all of them, scars and all!!!
I agree with this 100%
my partner has scars which she kept hidden for a while at the beginning of our relationship,
when we became more intimate I asked about them, but she obviously wasn't ready,
I gave her time she eventually opened up about them
She has since had a tattoo done over them so unless you knew about them you wouldn't know they where there
What was your immediate reaction when you saw them? at the moment the scars make me feel very insecure and I’ve turned away a couple of guys that were interested in me already because I didn’t want them to see my scars and leave me because of it. i do regret cutting myself and I wish I could undo it. I’m also thinking of getting a tattoo to cover the scars.
Curious as much as anything
I have some myself, and plenty of people I know like me regardless.
Yes I would cause in me experience people self harm when there stressed or unhappy she wouldn't feel that way with me I'd do whatever I had you do you keep my girl happy
It does depend a bit. If she really seems to be mentally well, I'll look past it. But then i must be pretty sure. If not, I'd try to get her to seek help.
Cocoa butter cream will heal them right up, provided they are not deep into the epidermis.
But never dated a psycho, or depressive, it's never been something I have ever checklisted a date for.
As a dumb shallow kid, no.
As an adult yes. If I liked her then I'd try to help her through whatever is causing her to self harm.
No i personally would not because i have before and that was bad whatever you're going through or went through i hope you get better
As shitty as it sounds I wouldn't but only because small things fir me that would be red flags
Everyone comes with baggage though, at the end of the day it comes down to who’s baggage you want to deal with.
I complelty get that but for me life is stressful as it is normally so adding in the potential for it to happen again and when we have kids and them seeing it as a form of dealing with hard times would be too much for me to deal with and yes thats unfair to say it will happen but I'm not willing to take the chances of it happening as I have seen its effects from working in a school
Its shit and know its unfair but I have never been able to shift that thinking
No problem, I understand what you’re saying. I get that it’s a turn off and tbh I hate that it’s in my arm haha I wish I could go back and talk some sense into 16 year old me.
No and thats why I hate myself for not being able to shift the mind set because you now are not the same person you was when u was 16 and even with me saying this if I fell in love with someone and found out I dont think I would dump them because it but it would cause issues for me in a relationship
We all have our turn-offs , for example I’m just not attracted to men that shave their legs and chest area and I can’t shift this mindset haha.
I have a question for you though , let’s say I meet a guy on Tinder, should I tell him about the scar immediately? And how should I say it?
I’m thinking of covering it up with a tattoo someday , because it’s bothering me so much 🙈
Hmmmmm I'm not sure maybe if it's aomthing he sees bring it up but don't rush to say it and if it bothers u so much a tat could be nice
If she had been getting help an got her self together an we liked each other shure