For those of you that are single and can't seem to find anyone, what, if any, "flaws" do you have that make dating or relationships difficult for you? I use the term flaw VERY loosely because what others might consider a flaw, may be reasonable to you or someone else.
We all have our flaws, but are they the reason you're still single? It is your appearance, standards, fear of rejection or being hurt again... or something else-
Yes, I'm undateable. But I want to hear what y'all have to say first :)
Are YOU undateable? If so, why?
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I am. I feel I’m probably too boring. I can spend hours walking around town looking at all the old buildings, cars, going into antique jewellery stores or any antique store, walking down the beach, playing chess, sewing, reading and so on. My likes are very different from the people I’ve come across... I’ve never met a guy who is calm, chilled and who enjoys at least half of what I like to do, apart from the sewing of course. I don’t smoke, vape, sleep around, I don’t mind a glass of wine or a cocktail or something with a meal or when relaxing but I don’t get tipsy or drunk. I dont like swearing or anything similar as I am in general a soft person. I’ll say a bad work when I’m extremely angry but that’s hardly ever. I don’t want to jump into bed with someone just after meeting or get to know them slightly. I’m a very picky person anyway but more so towards a person’s personality and not a lot of guys are decent enough for me to actually enjoy being around. This is the problem I’m facing. Not only that hut guys my age don’t care about serious relationships couldn’t care less about marriage, in fact many don’t want to even get married. So, I’m stuck here alone wondering if I’ll ever meet someone. Just the other night I spoke with a friend saying I don’t feel I’ll ever meet someone which is sad because I really want to get married some day and possibly have kids. Often I cry about wishing I had different interests or that I could like things that would make people want me because right now people just think I’m boring🥴
I think one of my biggest issues is delayed development - I did not know what I wanted to do with my life until I was 34-35 and now it might be too late to pursue my dream career - I’m also not a good cook cause before my mid 30s my mother would not share the kitchen with me so I never had a chance to learn - I can make tasty meals but don’t know too many recipes - Another thing is I’m flat footed and experience a lot of foot pain at manual labour jobs so might have difficulty doing house chores after work - And people are saying I might be too old to have a lot of kids
Too late to have kids? Absolutely not! While the risks are higher as you get older, there are women that had healthy children in their late 30s, even early 40s!
Regardless your other "flaws" are minor: you put your career first, which is certainly not a bad thing. And anyone can learn to cook at any age! Trust me, I'm not the best cook, but I go online or watch videos if I want to make something and it turns out just fine.
Well, honestly I have more than enough confidence in myself and any woman would be lucky to have me in her life but that will never happen. I have always been single and I wish to remain single for life, I chose this life out of my free will and for reasons best known to me. I don't need love, I don't need a woman in my life and so I never tried and I will never try also.
Anyways, for the purpose of answering your question I will give just one reason:
I am a very selfish person, I mean selfish in good ways and also I am very strict and intolerant with many things and so it won't be easy for any woman to be with a man like me because the margin for error for that woman would be negligible and so she will always be under pressure unless and otherwise she is almost an "opposite gender version" of me, meaning having a compatibility close to 95% of who I am, which is unlikely because that is a very high % of compatibility one can get.
Given the kind of standards I have and the way I take my decisions, it won't be possible for any woman to change herself to fit into my standards which means the woman will always be under pressure to be at her best and not make any errors, I mean critical ones.
One critical error and the woman would be out of my life forever with no forgiveness as well.
At first when you said you were "selfish" I took that as a bad thing, but as I kept reading your reply, no, that's a good reason to remain single, and understandable! You have standards that fit what YOU want in life, and it's not fair to have someone that's not able to keep up with or meet you goals try to change that. Nor should you lower your standards either, especially if you're confident and happy as is.
Listen I'm a 5'4" trans guy who's a little overweight, still lives at home, and can't work due to a disability. And I still go one dates and have relationships and get laid. If I can do it, you all can do it. If you don't think of yourself as u dateable, if you just own who you are proudly and focuse on the good things you have to offer, others will see that and be attracted to that confidence
This is what I call an MHO candidate right here! Having confidence, even when you have flaws is one of the most attractive qualities a person can offer.
Interesting @inexpensivefurniture. But when you say “get laid” is with other women?
Also you obviously live in a much more challenging dynamic. However you are young and around a lot more available people. But if what you are saying is true I have to say that’s impressive.
Nice, but not everyone’s been lucky like you because as FFDP said “everyone’s born with their own curse” I’m easy to date but I’ve been broke so many times trusting people is really hard
@guesswhoseback Generally I have sex with other men. I'm actually not around a lot of people, despite being younger, as I'm not going to school or working. I meet people through friends or online
@Alex_988_2 Got them chopped the fuck off early this year. Best thing I've ever done for myself. I don't mind talking about my transition and answering questions, but many other trans people consider that something that's only between them and their partner. So for future reference it is best not to ask trans people about surgeries or their bodies like that. Just so you know
@Confidenceoverload I can understand that. Trauma and trust issues can absolutely make it harder to date. I've been in therapy for years to deal with my trust issues. The reason I didntw say anything about mental blocks is because those can be worked on amd improved. I wanted to talk more about the things that are unchangeable that people might be self conscious about, like height.
Oh I’m short as a mfer and that’s the main reason despite my name I don’t have any confidence Personally it took 8 years to get comfortable with my face
@inexpensivefurniture you live in a completely very different dynamic. You are going to have interesting POV given you experienced life through a two different genders. But again your dating market is very specialized. I find people in these particular niches are much more sexually active among each other.
@guesswhoseback I have noticed a LOT of differences since I've transitioned from female to male. The majority have been good though and I am much happier. "Specialized" is a nice way of saying "slim" lol. You are right in that we tend to seek each other out as that's usually the safest option, but I have dated more cis people than trans people. Probably just due to numbers. There are far more cis people than trans people so it tends to work out that way
You are still from a different dynamic. Also men can tend to be a bit more desperate to get laid since they tend to have stronger sexual impulses and also face a lot more rejection than their female counterparts (when all else is equal)
Anyway you have an interesting outlook. I don’t judge people’s personal decisions just as long as you are honest. However there are a lot of trans women like there complaining that men don’t want to date them (glad you are not acting that way). If you make you decision and deal with it. Sounds like you have and you are making it work. Good for you.
Oh, don't EVEN get my started on that topic!!! I should ask a question about that next but I know it's been done to death on here.
So the older women get (not men mind you, women), they're not as attractive or "valuable" in terms of dating. Yet as we get older and wiser, we have more to offer! Some of us even look better as we get older! At least that's the case for me, haha. But you are absolutely right- why do people put a value on you based on your age? Sad really
Right don't get me started either lolol cuz then they justify it by saying physically attractive and bring up being fertile... Like there's more to women than having sex and making babies 🙄🙄
@Unit1 Something tells me we would spend most of the time just talking about random stuff, and the rest of the time bashing idiots or nonsense we see on here-
We could just pull up our phones, look at the questions on here, and laugh at which ones are the worse! (in between eating of course, LOL)
But that would go against the key to happiness wouldn't it? I mean staying away from idiots as in browsing on GAG for idiotic questions posted by idiots 🤔🤔🤔
When you have everything and you are still single, the women think it's because your a playboy lol. When really your still single because every women thinks that your a playboy and won't date you.
@ChrisG30 Well that may be true but imagine being a dating coach or a dentist or a therapist... once people here that its' like oh boy this guy is going to judge me on everything. It's not easy.
Do you really want my honest opinion on why such a 'catch' like yourself is single?
... nah, I'm gonna be nice, but only because you're my friend.
You're single because you put so much focus on helping others, you haven't had a chance to find the right person for yourself. Plus keep in mind you -are- a dating coach. So that might intimidate most women knowing someone like yourself knows so much about dating and relationships, you'll be judging her all the time or have high expectations.
Wow, it's sort of incredible how DEDICATED your following of dislikes is... It saddens me how that sort of effort is stronger then its counterpart (as far as I've seen on GAG)
Coach, are you more "picky" than you realize? Since you're a league above others, based on your description of yourself, you're probably waiting around for someone at least just like yourself.
you're single the same reason i am. When you're pretty well put together, most people are broken in some way, and just assume you're too good for them and find you intimidating. Im wealthy too and girls have mentioned they think its weird a rich man would like them when they could choose any girl. Just one example. Or if you're physically fit like me and you want to date a more average girl some will find that intimidating too like you really want a fitness model for a girlfriend. But imagine you have it all put together, now almost every girls insecurity, whatever it is, has the chance to come out.
@coachtanthony you are kind of a weird duck man. I’ve seen you nail it spot on other posts with good insight. But at other times it looks like you just want to stir the pot and create controversy.
Maybe you are going through some shitty times lately and this is your way of ventilating. Who knows. But if you are going to coach other people then you need to have your shit together. If you don’t have your shit together then you give advice to other people not to repeat the same mistakes you made.
Also as for money. I do pretty well also. Not rich but definitely above average. But HOW you use that many is how women will react.
@guesswhoseback I don't live by other's opinions from GAG. it's GAG. I have my own practice. So yeah I like to have a little fun on here from time to time. But thanks for your support and concern. It means the world to me.
- I’m ADHD. This sometimes makes me blurt out badly timed comments or do (non harmful) bizarre actions. When I do something awkward I usually know immediately afterwards I messed up. But unfortunately the damage is already done. Most women have very little tolerance for this early in dating.
- I can be “boring”. Truth is I was extremely adventurous yet irresponsible/broke a few short years ago. Peter Pan gets the girls attention but no girl wants to be a permanent Wendy. I’m also too old to screw around. I’ve known free spirited people in their 40s. They seem cool at first but when they are struggling financially it’s sad (sometimes pathetic.). So yes I’m “boring” but at least I’m financially stable.
- I tend to be too nice. This has been the bane of my existence and it’s extremely complicated. I try to give everyone a chance, treat them well unless they give me a reason not to. I don’t get off on unnecessary conflict. I’m like to this to all women whether I’m attracted to them or not.
But unfortunately many women take this as weakness and most of them don’t even realize it. And of course I got tortured and treated like absolute shit for it in the past (friendzone). This is left me with lots of deep seated anger, hatred and grudges. It’s the worse insult I can take because it’s solid proof the woman doesn’t see me as a real man.
The anger is NOT about being denied sex/intimacy. As a mature man I understand that nobody is entitled to that. It’s about being exploited that infuriates me the most. It’s the confidence and dismissive attitude women have about it. They don’t realize how much damage they are doing in these scenarios. Or they do realize it but are sociopaths about it.
Anyway I’ve done my best to forgive myself and forgive others. I’ve also matured on this and I call out women early if I sense I’m getting friendzoned (self respect). But it’s the a very sore spot with me.
"I’ve also matured on this and I call out women early if I sense I’m getting friendzoned (self respect)." That sir is a good thing! If you don't mind me asking, how can you tell someone is about to friendzone you? Because I've been friendzoned a lot and it's very annoying to say the least. Especially when you thought they liked you, yet they come to you for advice on someone else they like instead.
" I tend to be too nice. This has been the bane of my existence and it’s extremely complicated. I try to give everyone a chance, treat them well unless they give me a reason not to. I don’t get off on unnecessary conflict." And there's another flaw to being too nice- people (men and women) will stick you in the friendzone rather than date you as they think you're just being "nice" instead of interested in them! You are absolutely right! I think that was my problem too; I'm not really the flirty or assertive type (at least in terms of pursuing guys). I take my time getting to know people, treat them nicely, and see where it leads.
On a sidenote, there's nothing wrong with being "boring" if it means having a stable life and you're happy. If that is the case, then I guess I"m really boring!
Well I have no idea what you look like or what kind of men you try to date. No offense but from my observations women get more leeway for personality quirks if their attractive. No unlimited leeway but definitely more wiggle room.
Anyway about the friendzone. Thank you recognizing how agonizing and insulting it is when someone your interested asks for advice/complains about someone else. It’s one thing if they are completely oblivious you like them. But from I’ve seen women know 99% if a man’s interested or not (women of all ages). Younger men might be oblivious but as they age they pick up on vibes better. Asking about someone else when you know someone like is NOT dropping a hint. No it’s just rude and insensitive. There are more classy ways to reject people like being tactfully honest.
So besides being insulted as you experienced above I find that women who friendzone usually do the following:
- act flaky and play dumb. Playing dumb is the best way they can cover their ass. - one wordy in texts unless they need something - never initiate communication unless they need something. - make up excuses to not be alone with you too long - rarely follow up to say thank you after doing something nice for them - a bit too comfortable to share other problems (beyond dating) in their life for free counseling. - call you nice and sweet in a bland way. - actually compliment you too much in a “friendly” way. They like social media posts to “throw out a bone” to keep you in their orbit. - refer to as a “friend” (huge red flag) - don’t but put much effort into looking nice on dates. - act a bit too confident. If a girl is slightly nervous around me it’s a sign she’s interested (too nervous is bad though). - doesn’t laugh at my jokes. - says “c’mon” a lot
Yes, well at least at the moment. My life is too busy with work and school. I am working 56 hours a week (at work right now) and I also am going to school full time. I literally have just enough time to sleep on many days, and some days I don't even have enough time for 8 hours (like today and yesterday when I could only sleep 5 hours each day from 9am-2pm, the rest is spent working and driving to and from work).
Aside from that, one of my major "flaws" is my independence and sense of entitlement. I enjoy my life and I do what I want, when I want. I have been told many times I "want your cake and to eat it, too.", to which I respond, "What good is a cake you can't eat?" Not a very good stance for a relationship which requires compromise and doing what other people want sometimes. I'm not totally inflexible, but I'm definitely difficult for some people to deal with.
My other "flaw" is that I am polyamorus, and that is a deal breaker for some monogamous people. It is also not a dealbreaker for some monogamous people, or at least they say it isn't, but then they fall in love with me and want me to change because before they weren't serious but now that they are serious they want to have a monopoly on me. That doesn't work for my vision of love, which is free from possessiveness, ownership of another person, fear, and jealousy which I see as the hallmarks of monogamy.
C-PTSD, OCD, GAD, PTED. Which also makes it hard to find decent employment. Can't stand having to Stepford smile through oceans of assholes, and make insincere apologies for matters outside my control. Paternal resentment issues. Can't stand anyone who, like him, will make me feel like an insect out of nowhere. I finally gain a little self-confidence, he seems to show up again, just to destroy it.
Also have a bad history of women who cheat, lie, make slanderous accusations, turn out to be comic book-grade psychotics, or die horribly in ways I have no chance to save them from. Every pretty face is hiding a bomb, just waiting to go off in my face. It doesn't matter what kind of bomb. Heartache and resentment are always the end result. So I've taught myself how to keep gals at arm's length until they seem safe, but with one eye on the nearest exit, just in case it's a trap.
At least two different gals have told me to see a therapist before attempting to date anyone. But to do that, I first need a better job, a steadier income, and my own place. Otherwise , my folks will unwittingly undo any therapy I receive. They can't help it. They're set in their ways. And it has to be someone I trust. When they try to find an assistant , they choose poorly, and I come out worse than before. I'm gonna need a support group wherever I end up. It's gonna take quite a woman to tolerate someone like me, who is more than anything just trying to not get hurt anymore.
@guesswhoseback : Just what I do at work. And occasionally, casual exercises home. Right now, I'm trying to get a short story translated into multiple languages. Not easy. At all. Who knew insect anatomy was so hard to translate into Cebuano?
You need an outlet for this mental stress bro. Exercise is not about just looking good but for your mind as well. If it wasn’t for exercise I would of probably off’d myself a long time ago
During lockdown I tried to get outdoors to run at least 5 days a week. I could literally feel my mind unwinding from the mental stress when I did.
I think it can be hard to admit undateable qualities in people. I know myself very we though. First of all my standards are very high even though I never directly tell people that because that would not come across well. It just makes me weed out people quicker. Next, I would say I don't look the most attractive and I dont have a lot of muscle. I mean I know some people dont care but the sad reality is some people would consider that as undateable. Finally, my biggest flaw has always been myself. Poor lazy me would rather mess around all day long rather than make a genuine effort to meet people virtually. I mean, I feel like I'm more of an IRL person but covid makes things super difficult. In conclusion, I could try my hardest to make an effort but when most days I spend worrying about school and work it just doesn't happen since I try my best to do well in school. It just disheanterns me so much that I spent 2 years in community college sacrificing potential relationships because I wasn't sure where I was gonna be and now when I finally arrived at a 4 year university and now covid hit and I was trying to make a genuine effort to meet more people in clubs even though I had limited free time most weeks due to work and school conflicts well it just made me feel de motivated. And especially since after the summer 2021 semester I will be basically going to school remotely so I'm not even sure what I want to do yet
I don't know, probably. I do everything my own way, I'm a bad texter, I'm crazy. Like I'll just decide to start some big project or get into some crazy situation at the drop of a hat.
Most girls either want to be in charge of a relationship or lead in one, I want someone who I can look at and see an equal. I'm into self growth and spirituality and many people find that constant changing and self tuning to be annoying.
I'm way better at arguing then anyone I've ever dated so even though I admit when I'm wrong, I usually can prove pretty irrefutable that I'm right.
Also I'm a total nympho like not only will I try just about anything once, I want to do all sorts of stuff all the time. And even though I'm willing to forgo some of that stuff for the right girl, some women feel not good enough around guys like that and confidence is kinda important to me so at that point I'm just not attracted to the girl after a while.
Also I work a lot so I really don't have much of a social life. I need a lot of time to myself.
So far as finding the right one goes I really have my work cut out for me.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I wouldn't say "undateable" but my options are severely limited. And a lot like most women. I'm not interested in just dating anyone who offers For starters i'm not very attractive. Your gender has done a pretty good job of letting me know that. I spent my 20's and 30's stacking papers and investing while other guys my age slept around and partied. Now while they're just starting to think about retirement. I'm debating when to retire. 40% of my income is now passive. So i work fulltime but pretty much just for the benefits. Most women don't get this even if i did a good job of explaining it, which i don't. As then i have to worry about her motivations for dating me.
At this point in my life i only believe about a 3rd of what comes out if any woman's mouth ( some women on this site simplisticlly say i hate women. I don't, it just comes from 40 years. Of being told one thing from women and watching them do another).
The simple truth is i have a lot to lose by meeting the wrong woman.
"The simple truth is i have a lot to lose by meeting the wrong woman." While I do not like your opinion, I do respect your honesty... and hell, you're right. I'm afraid to meet the wrong guy! Been there, done that way too many times and it only leads to heartache, mistrust, and my wasted time and money.
I do applaud you for building yourself up and living your life without letting what others think of you, or your relationship status, weigh you down because guess what... While they're still working, trying to save pennies, and paying off debt from college because they partied instead of trying to get out? You're ready to retire and enjoy life :)
I'm undateable but would consider myself a great catch. I'm wealthy, 6 figures in the bank, smart.
You see women don't actually care about your achievements or wealth, they care about the likelyhood of you being in a position to be able to choose/select them. They date guys who have to power to choose their women. Money is just a tool to further support that evidence. Women are instinctively looking for evidence that you are in control of your dating options.
If you are seen as a guy that has all the women around him, you are now able to have every other women because guess what, having those women in your life implies you have to power to choose.
When you play hard to get with women, this advertises to women that you have choice because you are so busy considering all the other possible women in your life.
Confidence is a way of expressing that you have power to choose. People go after what they want when they know they can have everything. People like knowing that you were attracted to them from a whole bunch of other options available. That's why confidence is attractive. You can also be confident but be unnoticed for it and there lies my problem- the guy that know he has value but says that nobody else can see it. If the person cannot see that you know that you have power, you will be told that you lack confidence when you are actually self aware that you have value.
1. Too short for women I like. This is the biggest dealbreaker for women. 2. Lack of enough ego/pride/confidence. 3. Unattractive looking/ugly face. 4. Overweight. 5. Small penis/not having sex. 6. Old (thirty-four). 7. Brutally honest (and unwilling to change this). 8. Unwilling to bribe someone into pretending to like me/be a Sugar Daddy. 9. Unwilling to lie to someone or trick them. 10. Unwilling to "settle" for someone who doesn't love me, nor I her, just to avoid being alone.
If I go by my moms, I am not dateable. I went against her view and build my confidence. I took the risk and had some good experiences then got married. now, not as easy, unless I want to be alone forever then I take a chance.
There are no rules out there or anything written on our forehead... we take a chance to see if we can find our better half... its not perfect half but better half... to make a better life together if both willing to take the risk to love. Until we do that... then no one is dateable because we are very diff. human beings.
this is the reason so many are alone. Like many of my females friends who went through their 20s, 30s, 40s now... for them... I think they gave up can’t compete with the 20s
Your mother actually thought you were undateable? How rude, no offense to your mother. "Like many of my females friends who went through their 20s, 30s, 40s now... for them... I think they gave up can’t compete with the 20s" This right here! I tried, but as you get older, it's gets worse and worse, and you realize it's easier to stay single than try to compete with not only younger women, but guys that are not interested in you in the first place.
"I use the term flaw VERY loosely because what others might consider a flaw, may be reasonable to you or someone else."
No, in my case it's a real flaw, a serious one. A personality disorder known as 'Asperger's Syndrome' that makes it close to impossible to even understand the minds of other males, nevermind females, who are so unbelievably alien to me in the way they think and behave that they may as well be from another planet. Having this condition is the very worst thing a person could have if dating is what they really want to do, because there is NO chance in hell it's going to work. Forget about relationships, a career, family - it's all out of reach!
I think so because I feel like a constant work-in-progress and I feel like that makes me somewhat incomplete. I don't know if I'll ever not be a work-in-progress and that's a little scary. I've had a few relationships and they have all been very serious. I can't just go slow--- I'm always all in, even when I see red flags. When I see those red flags, I feel like I've already committed an entire measure of myself and I don't want to quit. Two out of four relationships have been absolutely awful and I stuck around, hoping they'd get better.
Everyone is a work in progress- and oddly enough, no one will ever be "complete" or fully content. Meaning you just have to keep going and hope for the best.
I used to say, "I'm going to do x, y, z... in order to be happy, get a relationship, or feel better about myself." Yet when I attained it, I'm STILL wasn't fully happy because I felt like I could do more, be better, or something was missing. And that's normal. It's when you become complacent and stop trying to work on improving yourself that you should be concerned.
" I can't just go slow--- I'm always all in, even when I see red flags. When I see those red flags, I feel like I've already committed an entire measure of myself and I don't want to quit." Ouch. You need to teach yourself that red flag= leave before you wind up hurt. You can't fix red flags; they're like a warning to keep you from hopefully getting hurt
You're right about no one ever being fully complete. I guess I just hold myself to a higher standard of "you should be better than this x, y, z." My mom always said that was kind of arrogant to think about yourself because we are all experiencing the work in progress-ness.
I'm better about acknowledging the red flags at this point in my life. I have a little human in my life and I don't want her to think red flags are the norm. Case in point, my last relationship. It was also important that she didn't see me give up on that person right away. But when things were obviously not right, it was enough to say enough.
Another reason I'm single-- focusing on my mini me. Time is a thief and we can't waste it. I can always date when she's grown up. Be a wild old lady in the nursing home. Haha
A lot of people find me intimidating. I don't know why. So guys who like me chicken out or thinks I have a boyfriend. Plus I do have trust issues, due to my parents always fighting coz my father cheated on some occassions. They are still together tho and happily married. But the mental scars I got as a child made me develop trust issues and afraid of commitments. Here I am 22yrs single. Never dated anyone and turn down all the guys who asked me out. I am not a man hater or something. But my love life is funny. The guys I like would chicken out always (I like nice guys, maybe one of the reason why) and the guys I don't like always have the gut to ask me. But I don't like them. I don't wanna date someone im not attracted with.
I don't know if I'm "undateable". I feel like everytime a girl crushes on me I make it awkward. I've only actually gave it a shot once and it didn't work out too well. 99.999% of the time, I don't know how to ask a girl out. I mean the one time it actually happened I just kinda said "Hey, let's go out." But it was a lot easier because I was over at her house a few times and she devoloped a crush on me, so I asked for her number, then asked her out. All the other times they were friends or I didn't know they liked me. I also have a problem with asking strangers out. I can't exactly walk up to her and just go "Hey, let's go out". I don't really know how to get from "Hi" to "Let's date". I'm probably venting a little here. Sorry.
I am undateable because I am broken beyond repair from previous relationships.
When I do try to find someone. I would say that the two biggest "flaws" that might be off putting would be~
-Myself getting too familiar too quickly.
-I literally have nothing going on in my life. It's difficult to catch someone's eye when you're a simple person.
Am I unhappy because of this? Honestly, a little. But it's not something I get down about. I no longer wish to try for anyone. If someone comes along and it works out. Cool. If not, oh well.
If you don't mind me asking, how did you previous relationships break you? Bad experiences, bad exes?
Ugh, I feel your pain; I do. It's hard to get out there when you're basic and don't really have any features that make you stand out. However, just because you think you're simple, someone else might think you're special or awesome! Nonetheless, don't stress over it.
this question is so interesting to read the answers to. I recently asked a simple question about leagues and standards, and some of the people here who seem to know what makes them undatable portrayed themselves entitled and worthy on my question 😂 the more you know
I am enjoying reading these replies as well! It's making me want to ask more questions, haha.
People have such interesting perspectives on what their flaws are, or why they're undateable. Yet some of them have unrealistic or unreasonable standards for what type of partner they want.
I'm definetly undateable. I'm everything no one wants. Overweight, ugly and shy. Just overall Introverted along with being far from what guys call "pretty". I was told by a guy one time in the past to "make sure you're prettier", that's specifically what he said. Trying to Imply that I'm ugly indirectly. I'm also a lazy fat slob, I'm a mess that doesn't know what she's doing with her life. Just trapped indoors all the time half depressed. Always crying and feeling down. On top of it I've been hurt by a toxic person in the past whom I had feelings for and loved. I was rejected by him and I've given up on love or anything to do with relationships now. Love just hurts all the time. So yeah, I am off limits and undateable.
@Mamamialetmego Not necessarily true. When I was younger, because I was shy, guys assumed I was disinterested because I was quiet or didn't flirt/talk to them. So in some cases, yes, it can be a turn off for some guys unless they realize the girl is shy and makes an effort to break her out of her shell or get to know her.
@mamamialetmegogo I've tried being outgoing before, but then one day out of nowhere a guy told someone else (Not me) that I seek attention. So I'm not sure what to do at this point, people have a problem with me being shy and also with trying to be outgoing...
Because I don’t believe in people anymore... definitely my biggest flaw. But blocking my path before that as I’m limited to online dating mostly is I don’t take good pictures. I’m not bad looking just don’t translate into inspiring photos. But if I ever got past that it would definitely be because I know whatever person I’m with is probably a horrible person pretending to be good.
"Because I don’t believe in people anymore..." When you said that, I nodded. I can definitely relate. People really do make it hard to trust and open up nowadays.
And gosh, let's not get started on taking bad pictures! I suck at them too. As bad as it sounds, I look better in person than in pictures due to my lack of photogenic skills. And I'm too honest to use photoshop and filters like most people (haha), so what you see from me is what you get!
I don't know what you look like but as a relatively average man who’s short, takes bad photos, and shows no teeth when he smiles... after 2 years of match, tinder, and PoF including paid subscriptions I’ve received one reply that turned conversation. My job keeps me from committing to the hunt in person as I work gy 12h shifts 6-7 days a week. Even with time of my hobbies arnt hobbies you’ll meet women at. Also I haven’t been active in dating in over 8 years... all I see from women are the ones on social media and this feminist bullshit on the news. I am not impressed...
I tend to be very distant and I don’t get jealous (like some guys prefer). I also never really like/love my partner as much as I say I do. I date more for the experience rather than long term. I don’t like too much affection or else I feel suffocated. I guess I just need to find someone who understands and is okay with all of my weird qualities.
I'm the same way: I'm not really the "sappy, romantic, feminine" type guys tend to prefer or go for, which is a turnoff for most men. Yet that's how I am!
Now finding a partner that understands and accepts that? Easier said than done.
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