What I want to know is why are people adding things that isn't there? Are people that sell fish that they got to not only assume but they are still bitter they have to equate what another person is saying to oh well if you don't want me then goodbye? I think people who think like this got serious issues and need to just stay single or not have friends at all.
A person just said they don't think they can give you what you need right now. What does not being interested is anywhere in that sentence? The person says they don't think they can give you what is anywhere in that sentence? The person says they don't think they can give you what you need. What you need may not all the time be what you want. But as long as the individual is honest that is not much you can do at the moment. The key word here is not right now. What does not right now mean? I think even kindergartners will understand this it's sad that grown adults don't. People who think like this are going to make others miserable besides themselves. It is best for the individual who thinks that the other person is not interested seek Professional Therapy and counseling. There is nothing that equals not being interested with they don't think they can give you what you need right now. That means they may consider dating you in the future if things turn out good in between time. The most you can do is be friends and take the time to really get to know each other a bit better before pursuing something serious it is not wise to rush into a relationship you know nothing about. That way you can find out if you're compatible for a relationship or not. This isn't the time to fool around. If you say you want a relationship then you need to take this time to actually be serious and get to know each other better. Otherwise you going to be dating an individual you are not compatible with begin with and then you're going to have all this baggage you got to deal with. You decide as the person whether or not you are the one is going to be interested in waiting for this person. Better to admit that you're selfish and you want what you want then to try to blame the other individual for the inadequacies you feel within yourself damn it if you are that insecure walk away. Don't make the other person feel any more pain than you're already bringing yourself. If you need help in clarifying something ask the individual are they saying they are not interested. When you come off that way you're only making yourself suffer. That is not proper communication. My fair warning to anybody who thinks this way just because you're insecure. Be honest with self! What you do now is reflection of what you going to be in the future if you date. Seriously reevaluate if this is something you should be pursuing. Otherwise is not going to be a healthy one. If somebody assume just of me and trust me when I say this is why I have a lot of trust issues especially with men because they assume the same way as this question, I'm leaving. I am not going to get hurt or stick around with an individual who's trying to force me into something I am not ready or prepared for. It's not fair on me, but I rather not hurt the individual if I know I can't provide them what they need. Why lie to a person just to fulfill my own needs? I think people like that really need to not date if that's how they going to think. Otherwise they are just going to attract other selfish people who are just as bad as they are.
If there's one thing I've learned about guys: most of them are fairly straightforward in what they say. Most, not all; there's always exceptions obviously.
With that being said, I think he was politely rejecting you. He said, "I don’t think I can give you what you need right now."
Translation: he doesn't like you the same way you like him. So it would be better if you found another guy that DOES want you.
There you go.
And yes, there's a slight chance he might have a deeper meaning to it. The only way to know is to ask him, "What don't you think you can offer me? I like you just the way you are."
He will either give you a more detailed explanation, or beat around the bush. If it's the latter, he is in fact, not interested.
Okay that's a good reason, lol. Well damn he might be telling the truth.
Most people don't like long distance relationships, so to keep from potentially getting attached to you, he rather not date you. I'm not saying that's the main reason, but the point is, he's not interested in being with you right now.
Also, thank you! 😊
I believe this is genuine. I think if someone days they can not give you what you need it most likely means that they are respectfully saying they probably see things differently and most likely have a different view on what they want romantically then what you want. I would say its a more respectful response then directly saying "I am not interested" because you tell the person precisely why you are not interested in them so that way they are not wondering about why specifically you aren't interested. I think this is a better response in my opinion since it gives the other person more clarity about why the person is not interested and then the person can expand on why they can not give what the other person needs such as "my mind is in a million places most likely like yours so I don't want to end up being a person that is not the true me" or perhaps "I can't give you what you need because you said you need emotional support and that would personally be too much stress for me to try and maintain after long days of work with all due respect since I would prefer to release feelings and then support you after the feelings are released instead of constantly listening to your problems and then trying to make you happy instead of focusing on how to make each other both happy even if we are not happy towards each other."
No one can tell you the truth. You do not know and neither do any of these comments. A lot of people like to use their intellectual minds to create generalizations without any or very little evidence to back those generalizations up. Only the guy knows. You have to ask him. Why does he not believe he is ready? That is a question you need to ask him and it might help both of you in multiple ways. Please do not sit here and take anyone's advice. Stop asking us and communicate with this guy. Honestly most of these people on here, if you knew knew them, you would not ask them for advice. So be very careful letting their thoughts into your mind. Now I believe I've given you the most sound advice that is not bias and that allows you to get straight to the REAL truth. HIS truth. And at the end of it all realize not everything is about YOU.
You have given me the most sound advice, thank you. You’re absolutely right on it all.
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In general I would say yes. It is a little bit more complicated than that. Most likely it means I think you are attractive enough to have sex with but I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with you. So in that situation either accept friends with benefits or cut things off.
I believe you speak for people without self-discipline but even so I cannot imagine you have the creditability that allows you to say, "in general". One with discipline, even if the girl/guy is highly attractive, might say such a thing because they simply know they cannot give them what they want. May it be from timing aspects or just that they don't have the space or aren't ready for it. I think it is important to say none of us know what this guys reasoning is so we shouldn't "generalize" him. I've seen my friend like a girl and go on dates with her and not talk to her anyone even though she is the perfect girl because he doesn't think he is ready for someone like that yet. Aka insecurities but truth be told he wasn't wrong.
@Spade07 I dont really care about what you think of my credibility. It is my position to express my thoughts and your position to express your thoughts. The problem with people like you is you obsess over exceptions to the rule. You take any point you disagree with and basically say that it is not true of all people. It is not our job on this site or in life to give specific examples based on ourselves. It is our job to be objective about the world and give insight of our perspectives of society at large.
The problem with your "in general" obsession is that such a position lacks any moral framework or basis. We cannot have any value based judgment of human character or nature or societal conduct because you don't think generality exists. Philsophers from John Locke to Thomas Hobbes to Rousseau and others have written and given their perspectives on human nature and society. Rather than looking at the moral framework of their argument or what they say, you would rather totally dismiss anything and just spout out exceptions to the rule. LIke for example, Thomas Hobbes believes that human life is "bruttish and short". You would take the fact that someone lived to be 100 years old out of 3 billion people in the world and say that the statement or philosophy is wrong. I am not here to make exceptions. I am here to give a philsophical view on humanity, love, and relationships. Your argument really is an excuse to be so twisted in the brain with exceptions that you lack any substance or value or character about anything in the world of dating.
Exactly they are not interested and they always put the icing on the cake by saying they need to flee the country for 6 months so they look important or mysterious. That is usually a lie too.
Not enough context to properly answer, but in truth it sounds like
A) He might not be interested in you. This line sounds like a classy way to say that without trying to sound malicious.
B) He's going through a rough patch in life and genuinely means what he says.
Communication is key here. If he explained his reasoning, chances are he's telling the truth. If I said this to a women I like, no doubt I would tell her why in hopes to preserve the relationship. If he was shady about his reasoning then its best to move on.
*B) sorry for the typo
Im sorry to hear that. Sounds like you will have to move on.
I’ve been told this before and no it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested in you, it means this person feels they are not “capable” of giving to you what it is you want and deserve right now, maybe he’s in a bad head space and needs time to figure shit out, sometimes they feel they aren’t deserving of you rn, and sometimes they feel like they are not ready to put forth the effort it takes to have a relationship rn. And that’s okay, I’m going through that rn tbh so don’t think that it necessarily means he’s not interested in you because usually that’s not the case at all, it’s him not you. If he wasn’t interested in you he would more than likely just say that tbh.
People change with time, as well as their needs. In the beginning of a relationship, people mainly see only what they want.
Then things settle down, and one or both parties realize they aren't ready for what the other person wants.
Of course there are those that just swoop in for the booty, then say that after it slows down or they get what they want.
I do agree with spade on this matter. The only person that can give you the truth is him. Now he's said he can't give you what you want. That to me is an answer.
If you're dissatisfied with that, you can ask him or chose to accept this as whatever this means for you both.
If you're looking for clarity as to whether you remain friends, f buddies or strangers. You will get that answer if you contact him.
(either he answers or ignores)
But deep down you have to decided what the possibilities are and what they mean to you first.
Meaning "do I want us to be x, y or z?"
That sounds to me like recognizing that the two of you had different, probably incompatible goals in life going forward and it would be best to try to address that or else break up. I wouldn't necessarily say it has to to with "interest" so much as pragmatism.
Going off your original wording, that is.
see this is the problem with women"THEY READ WAY INTO THING'S" guy's are very simple were not confusing like women if he said i can't give you what you want right now means there's a reason and he dont want to tell you cause maybe he is embarrassed women who read more into things causes a lot more problems arguments then there has to be
It is what it is! Nothing more nothing less. Basically that's all. There isn't anything more he can give or make happen. That's it. It is what it is.
He's a guy, so he really believes what you need is his dick. Like here thinks that's why you're going through a hard time because he hasn't had sex with you. He thinks your life will instantly become like a fairy tale as soon as he does.
Guys are dumb, believe me.
He is saying he isn't in to u rn, most men are not as deep so id say he is on his way out , but wants a side because he knows u like him he may keep u interested and make u think its what u want. Like the song... players only love you when they playing🤷♀️
It could be used as a means by which to lower your expectations, so that he can have things on his terms.
It completely depends on what the girl is asking for. It's definitely not "always" equal to that because sometimes people demand insane shit in relationships and it might literally be impossible for someone to deliver on the demands.
He could be genuine. That's totally dependent on the person. Also the context... When a guy tells you whatever, believe him. As everything is quite literal with guys. I'd take his word for it.
I have said this to women and I genuinely meant it. I am currently studying and don’t have much money or time. Like it or not women want money and time. Not in a bad way but they do , take man as a provider. I have learnt in a hard way that if you can’t provide (in terms of looks or money ) , she will find another person. So unless I am stable , dating will be worthless.
^^This. Women simply loathe to be spurned. It makes them try twice as hard. Sometimes it's better to just walk away.
Generally, this is simply a nice excuse people use.
But we don't know the context, so we can't tell for sure.
Anyway, if he told you that, move on and stop thinking about his reasons. He can't give you what you want.
Sounds more like he doesn't have the money to happily keep and entertain a girlfriend.
I just say stuff like that if Im not interested in anything serious but she in fact is, because I dont want to toy with her feelings just to get her into bed
Best is not to lose sleepless nights over it
Believe what he said and move on, find someone who is ready to give you what you need now
Note: we all think that we will be the one changing him. You won't my dear, it's harsh but true
the Pancake flipped over finally.
If it's not the former, it's something similar that you wouldn't be interested in either,
If a guy says that, means that they don't give u jack. Be with someone who can give u what u need and want. Don't settle for less, know ur worth, and don't EVER let anyone tells u otherwise.
No it means he cannot provide you the things you want in life and therefore it would be best to separate, for your sake
No, nit equal. It can be genuine. We need time for our selves too. Let be be cave time. Recharge time. Winding down. Or not just feeling it.
Thanks for like!
Are you perhaps finding it hard to accept that you are not the un missable catch you though yourself to be?
I’ve done so much to try and change who I am because I thought maybe I’d feel happier with myself and more confident but instead it just made me feel less confident and more vulnerable. The things I’ve done I now despise and I guess part of me I despise too. So no, I am not an unmissable catch, I am not somebody I would even want to catch
I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make a guy not interested in you... “don’t think” “give” “right now” has nothing to do with feelings
It can be him letting you down easy, or it can just be a simple statement of fact
Sounds like he's not interested in a commitment, or you're being too needy or something.
It's the easy way of saying he's using you for sex.
It can be that he really cares for you and he really doesn't have what you need at that moment
Pretty much. Guys are more sensitive contrary to popular belief.
It means you present as a royal PITA.
What is even more remarkable is your yearning to continue to pursue a guy that shows disinterest for ANY reason. I mean come on, YOU are the sole arbiter of attraction and desire?
You make absolutely zero sense. Which is also pretty common.
Yeah that’s basically them saying that their not interested their just being really really nice
Of course it can be genuine - why would you doubt it?
he can't give you what you need right now, means he's not ready to be in a relationship right now, or commit to you.
It's an indication of incompatibility, so it could be legit
Honesty with women who are on the brink becoming an ex is rather rare.
Can be genuine. I would have to say something like this today too.
It can absolutely be genuine, but it's hard to know. Whatever the case is, it's not going to happen, move on
Depends on who says it.
For example, if I said that, I'd consider it true.
Sorry but thats a nice way to say not interested and or it's over . ;(
He thinks you are too needy/demanding and he's tired of it.
1. you have issues and he can't or won't deal with them
2. he is not interested
It depends on a variety of things.
Ok, now this is pretty rare I’d say.
That means leave me alone
Because he feels alone
He likes you but don't ask a lot questions at him
I think it’s genuine
It will never be anything other than disinterest
Yes it is pretty equal
Yes.. find someone that likes you...
It can be genuine.
Its genuine.
Yes it is
I’m not interested
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