My want for a relationship is killing my dating?

[Anonymous]

This is kinda a rant I guess. I'm just getting really tired of my eagerness of wanting a relationship is killing my chances in dating. I feel like my dates can feel this and it kills the vibe. I lead a very fulfilling life and have lots of hobbies.

I'm ready to have someone to spend it with and I'm tired of being single. It been a long time and being single is now my source of being unhappy I guess you could say. I'm not trying to rely on others to bring me happiness, I just feel the loneliness is bringing me down.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I have sort of the opposite problem which I know probably isn't helpful, but hopefully it'll show that no one's completely happy with their lot.

I've in a very happy relationship of 1.5 year. We live together and cook and play video games together. We rarely rarely fight and have fun being WFH coworkers.

Life's great until sometimes I think too hard about about how my female friends have all left my city or gotten boyfriends of their own and never want to have girl time.

They'll say things like let's have girl time but always flake when I plan a girls night (face masks, hair stuff) or they never follow up with activities of their own. It's a different kind of loneliness, not having close connections or shared hobbies with those of the same gender.

People (girls a lot tho) become really fake about their relationships. They always pretend things are okay, when it's obvious they aren't. But instead of talking about it with girlfriends, som3 just refuse to hang out until they're 'feeling better.' Over the pandemic I've got like 1 local girlfriend who is real with me and it's nice, even if it's not that frequent. She texts me first sometimes. We can hang out at hers or my place. We can complain about how much our boyfriends game and how it's annoying while we cook one of them dinner. Lol.

All I can say is that you have to keep sticking to your guns about what you want, and not 'why you haven't found one yet.'

I want female friends that plan trips. I want girlfriends that don't take 24 hours before texting back. I want friends that also text me memes first (shocker), I can dwell on how some of my old friends don't do that, or I can stay confident that I will find new friends as the world opens up again.

[Asker]

I appreciate your response and understand you pain of watching friends leave and flake. It hurts a lot and its hard to make friends for sure. But finding someone to be your partner is a whole next level of pain and loneliness.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Not really. Plenty of people are without a partner and don't feel a whole next level of pain and loneliness. They also don't go on the internet telling other people about how much not pain and loneliness they are feeling. You want your pain to be special, so have fun in your pity party.

[Asker]

I wasn't denying your pain by any means, and I'm not saying my pain is special. Yes I'm having a bit of pity party. However just sticking to my guns and know what I want doesn't do anything for my situation and it is highly likely someone won't come into my life.

Like I said I understand not having friends is very hard and trying to find new friends is even harder. Still you have a built in friend that you live with i. e your boyfriend...