Would it be bad for me to ask my boyfriend what he sees in me/why he loves me?

Question

I just want to know why he would want to be with someone like me that is so awkward around his family , doesn’t look people in the face, doesn’t know what to say around people stuff like that. Yesterday I was hanging with his family and although I did try to talk to them I felt like I still made a fool out of myself because I was very shy and uncomfortable I was so nervous that I didn’t look at their face a lot i was looking down. I just feel a bit embarrassed and like I made them feel uncomfortable I still enjoyed playing pool with my boyfriend, his brother, and his wife but most of the time I felt so uncomfortable I wanted to leave the whole time there were 5 of his family members there and we talked so much I didn’t know what to do so I kept on looking at my phone not knowing what to say or anything I just felt so uncomfortable. I don’t know what my boyfriend sees in me that he wants to marry me and I have a feeling that his family wonders that too I can’t even look people in the face (people that aren’t him) because I get so tense

natured · Accepted Answer

I don't know for how long you have been dating or if it's the first time you're meeting them. But it's normal to feel uncomfortable around his family members. I was the same in the beginning, after a few times i got used to them and found out that they're actually amazing people.
I do find a little disrispectful looking at the phone though, as tough as it sounds, TRY at least to be more active in conversations, you'll get used to it.
Asking your boyfriend what he sees in you is not a tragedy, I did that myself, and after 7 years I sometimes still do, because yes sometimes i'm a mess and I wonder how come that human being still sticks to me. But he always reassures me when I ask him, and it feels better and amazing when you hear things like " I can't immagine my life without your annoying ass" lol that's what I usually get.
Don't put yourself down sunshine
<3

loves2learn · Accepted Answer

Just sit down and have a conversation. Tell him the things you love about him and ask him what he loves about you

IDontBelieveIt · Accepted Answer

You are not abnormal, that is common, the more you worry about the situation the more you stress, try asking your boyfriend what each of his family like, hobbies, can he have a bit of banter with certain ones. Then you could do a bit of research about the topics, search funny things and jokes if you can't remember have them on your phone so you can tell them, if they don't find it funny just say I know it's bad isn't it don't know where they get them from. You could get Jokes about their topics they enjoy IF they don't take it too serious. Hope that helps

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

Yeah clearly if he's explicit about marrying you his family will put you under the microscope and since your lack of social skills make you seem socially awkward they will not be very friendly and welcoming.
I know it sounds harsh and I'm sorry about that but it's also the truth.
What your boyfriend sees in you doesn't matter much as far as his family is concerned. It's doubtful that they will actually like you unless you actually display likeable behavior

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It sounds like you are battling extreme shyness and have General Anxiety Disorder and this is pretty common among people... My suggestions are to practice talking into a mirror this will help you to improve your social skills, I know this sounds silly but it could help but make contact with yourself when talking into a mirror

Wiredone · Answer

There is nothing wrong with asking him. I'm assuming yesterday was the first time that you met his family. It is normal to be nervous around new people especially if you are shy. I'm sure once you get to know them better you will feel more comfortable around them.

ohshee · Answer

Well this could be fun but should be fun I hope that you do ask your boyfriend that and I hope that he just gives you the best answers ever I know that I would all my answers would be so hot with the so sexy I mean I would paint you out to be and just a hot sexy naughty girl I was just be teasing and everything but I would love to to be able to do that that would be cool

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Wow whatever is going on with you you're gonna have to get past it. I hope you don't say these things to him cause that's a major turn off your such an amazing girl but your always so down on yourself. I have a question for you. How come no matter how many compliments it doesn't get through to you be your get one insult and you freak out

crazy8000 · Answer

Do you want a shallow answer

When there are something about someone that makes them love us it's not for our being. just something that can disappear and then there aren't any love since it wasn't for us as a being.

With other words if it's for something it's not for whom we are.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I can see points on both sides.

On the one hand, it would be a good test to see if he really loves you, and why.

On the other hand, what if he fails the test?
... Or what if he really does love you, but he's never really processed it logically; it's just a feeling? So if you cause him to overthink it, then that might put doubts in his mind?

Surely · Answer

He may think that you are trying to inflate your ego by asking that question.
But I am sure you could find an appropriate time to ask such a question.
You are still young, As you get older you will find ways to break the ice and talk to other people.

exitseven · Answer

He obviously sees something special in you. I'm sure you have a lot of good qualities and you are a good girlfriend. Everyone gets nervous around their boyfriend/girlfriend's family. That is very common. I used to freak out about it too.

Still-alive · Answer

not bad, go ahead and ask him. he'll be glad to tell you

alice55 · Answer

I would say don't, you'll surely make him uncomfortable by doing so men usually don't really like to answer to this type of question, lots would just avoid you during some days because of it.

Adam1978 · Answer

Yeah, you won't get a answer you will be satisfied with. Some things just are, trying to get a man to put them into words is a recipe for disaster.

Sbily · Answer

I think it is okey to ask this question but don't act like you have low self-esteem. Don't think like you don't feel that you have the qualification. Think like which part of you is more important that you want to learn

Brianbrake · Answer

That will just show you insecure and that you have of low self esteem

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Ask him. This should be simple, you wasted enough time already

Mikeysoda · Answer

Not at all, you have the right to know the utmost truth about anything concerning your relationship.

Twalli · Answer

I rarely look people in the eye. Try looking over their shoulder or head. Then at least they think you're looking them. I personally look at their nose.

TallAnon · Answer

You can ask, but it's like asking someone why they love mac and cheese, I can think about it, explain the taste, how it feels, etc. But you will never get exactly why I love it.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

That is one of the most annoying and aggravating things a girlfriend can ask. Just don't.

TheAfrikan · Answer

It is normal and normally among beings to be Insecure.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

That's a common thing. I asked my girlfriend why she was in love with me

Would it be bad for me to ask my boyfriend what he sees in me/why he loves me?

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