Girls, is the possibility of a terrible father-in-law a dealbreaker? Why or why not?

Question

Your man tells you about your potential future father-in-law. The father is emotionally abusive towards his children and their mother. He is mean, nasty, passive agressive, emotionally manipulative, and enjoys screaming at the people he supposedly loves. Your man hates that about him, and is not like that at all. But if you go forward with the relationship you will need to deal with him in some capacity.

Is this a dealbreaker? Why or why not? Feel free to ask for more information if you feel you need it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

We have to change that. A terrible mother-in-law can be a deal breaker, not father-in-law. Because father-in-laws always get on well with their brides.

RaeShirley · Accepted Answer

No, but only because my father is the exact same way so then I would be a hypocrite to judge a kid based on his or her parents 🙂

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

No it had no effect on how I felt about my wife. Her dad is neglectful, a habitual liar, let his newest wife sit my wife and her sister down to say he was moving on with his new family and they were no longer part of his. Before that happened he came to our ceremony, made out with his girlfriend (the aforementioned newest wife) the whole time and then took all the drinks with them and left the entire place without anything to drink. We were outdoors in a Texas summer. He is a colossal asshole.

My wife and I are still together and I haven't seen him in almost 8 years. Neither of us miss him.

Christine8 · Answer

It depends.. You are saying that your man is not like that at all. If he is different and not like his father maybe you can have a chance with him.
If he sticks by you and he makes it clear that cares for you and how you are feeling that is good.
If his father does not interfere with your relationship with your partner than maybe you can make it work.

menina · Answer

Yes it sounds like a deal breaker to me. I mean, I wouldn't date or marry the father but I wouldn't want to be near someone who behaves like that. He's toxic and abusive. I would feel insecure and afraid around him.
I would feel sorry for his son and for his family. So I would probably break up with him, unless I didn't need to deal with his horrible father.

DaisyM23 · Answer

I would be in it for the guy not his dad anyways. If I didn't get along with the mum and other family, and him with my family, that would be more of a deal breaker. The dad just sounds like a dick anyways so it’s not really a problem for me

Gingersnapz74 · Answer

In my experience, fathers pass their sins along to their sons.

I'm not saying it's a deal breaker, but it is enough to be on extra alert for red flags. Being a womanizer, married multiple times, bankruptcy after bankruptcy, verbally abusive to his sons and wives... Yeah, the sons both picked up some of those traits even though they weren't apparent initially.

It won't always happen, obviously, but just gotta be cautious.

Anonymous · Answer

no, u can't not be with someone over their family, u can't choose to be with or not be with someone over that. be with who you want to be with, and stay away from abusive in laws or whatever the case is. avoid him all u can, just dont put up with the bs. u dont not be with someone just cause their family are a certain way.

Anonymous · Answer

Not gonna put up with that crap. Been through enough of abuse myself. Only if the son repudiates this terrible man. But seems that's not gonna happen, judging from "she would need to deal with it occasionally". No way. Been through enough of trauma. Give me a peace, not stress and early death. Why to sign up for a horror movie?

SecretsofKB · Answer

It depends on my partner's response to their abusive parents (Both father or mother). If they limit contact and don't succumb to the abuse then it'll be fine.

AliceIC · Answer

I feel like it depends.. Do you guys plan to visit a lot? Are they close? If the answer is no, I don't think it's a problem..

15_Debo · Answer

Oh no I am never thinking of marrying I mean unless I want to I don't give a F$#K about what my father in law thinks, cause he's not gonna be my father in law unless I marry his son

Ninani · Answer

Why would I have to deal with that? If he's that toxic, they shouldn't even be in contact!

Lillie_xo · Answer

I can deal with that ! I just care about how my girlfriend is ! uwu

sarahlumpkin · Answer

I would watch Forensic Files and take copious notes.

Miyasee_ · Answer

If he will involve too much, he will demand respect from me, my boyfriend take his side, then it is.

Anonymous · Answer

Terrible father in law would make my life harder so I would avoid it

moonpie89 · Answer

Not a deal breaker.

Girls, is the possibility of a terrible father-in-law a dealbreaker? Why or why not?

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