When a woman says she wants to date you casually, does she actually mean it or is that a polite rejection?

[FilmGuy93]

I have had a number of women say stuff like this to me over the years. The situations never seem to work out positively and I'm wondering if "I want to date you casually" is really just girl speak for "thanks but no thanks."

The women invariably seem to just change their minds about the situation after a period of time (usually a few weeks to a month, but sometimes longer). It kind of makes me sad because casual dating is exactly the kind of situation I am most interested in having at this point in my life. We sort of seem to agree on casual dating and then situations fall apart.

How should I read/interpret/navigate these situations in the future?

That's a rejection

That's not a rejection, her feelings about the situation genuinely changed

That's not a rejection at all. This is what "casual dating" means

[AmandaYVR]

I don't date casually, I'm pretty serious when it comes to relationships. I'm in or out, generally. I dislike spending time with people that I don't like, so I probably wouldn't even utter these words. I don't know what this means if other females say this.

[msc545]

I would take it to mean that the relationship won't be exclusive, but I might be very wrong about that. Nobody, including women themselves, can figure out what women really mean when they talk. Behavior is the best indicator of their intent, but that too changes often and for no apparent reason usually. Good luck.

[FilmGuy93]

I should explain that I really don't care that much about monogamy right now, nor about spending money for a woman's company. I genuinely don't mind having a casual girlfriend that I dote on. All I really ask for is sanity, communication and safe sex.

The only thing about the situation that I get tired of is the flip-flopping and then blaming me for their weird behavior. I don't think I'm asking too much to deal with a woman who isn't a total spaz.

[msc545]

You are never going to get sanity.

[DaveJord]

If she goes on date with you and has sex with you then its not a rejection... but if you do see or and go out and she never puts out then yeah she is using you or and if she never sees you then yes it was polite rejection.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure I get this. If it is casual dating you want you can settle that from the start. If that is what you are already doing, then up to some months of dating is pretty normal.

[FilmGuy93]

Some months of dating would be normal. Not less than a month though.

[Opinion Owner]

but I don't see how it can be a rejection saying she wants it casual, when she has sex with you for some weeks and then stops seeing you.
There can be many reasons to stop a casual relation. Maybe the sex is not so good for her, maybe she wants more than you do/or the other way around. They never give an explanation for why they stop seeing you or they just ghost or something?

[FilmGuy93]

Rarely… one girl was straight up with me, but usually I either get ghosted or it's just some super vague and unhelpful answer.

[Opinion Owner]

and what was her reason? But if it is because of some sexual thing maybe they don't bother or won't like to say something negative. There are many sexual preferences and they can just think you are a bad match.
Unfortunately there is not much to do when people ghost. But maybe try to be more open and talk about what you look for and ask the one you are dating what they want to see if you can do more to meet each others needs and desires.

[Opinion Owner]

*But maybe try to be more open and talk about what you look for and ask the one you are dating what they want, in order to see if you can do more to meet each other's needs and desires.

[FilmGuy93]

Oh, she just told me she wasn't looking to date right now. Pretty easy and concise to understand.

[Jintendo18]

Casual dating can involve sex and intimacy, but it’s somewhat implied that there’s no real expectation of any serious, long-term commitment.

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah, I guess I'm just not understanding why the women start acting so weird about things though.

[Jintendo18]

Maybe they feel you’re getting too clingy.