As you get older, would you say you're more in touch with your feelings?

[lilyanony1]

I've dated men close to my age and men as old now as 58, and generally I've always been open about how I feel. But it seems with guys there's no age that clearly indicates when a guys open to talk honestly.
The younger ones front a lot, whilst the older ones still vary.

How would you say you vary?
And is there something that happened that made you become one or the other?

[hahahmm]

Sure, but not in the way you think. I am the master of my feelings now. When I was younger I had less control of what was on the inside but still good control of my outward actions. So now, if someone tries to push my buttons, 9 times out of 10 it does nothing. And the 10th time it only affects me for a few seconds. And even then I have full control of my actions.

Being "in touch with your feelings" to me, doesn't mean being a slave to feelings.

Young guys are right not to tell/show you their feelings. There's no upside for them, regardless of what women claim. Older guys don't have the delusion that they need you for anything. There's nothing you can give him that he hasn't already had 8k times. My guess.

[ChrisMaster69]

I think a lot more has to come down to experience, life, relationships etc rather than simply age.

for me being into lifestyle BDSM, you tend to be very open with your partner or prospective partners.

you have to be open and build up on mutual trust.

you can’t really trust anyone that is not open and does not communicate well.

Respect is also a big one, showing respect for the other person’s intelligence and that they know when you are not being open or talking bollox.

[menina]

I've never had a boyfriend but I've always been in touch with my feelings. I'm open about them but I still have to learn how to deal with them.
The world wasn't made for sensitive people, so I'm learning how to be tougher.

[DizzyDesii]

I actually find it easier to get a younger guy to be more open about their feelings with me. They’re usually more trusting then a lot of older men who think all women are evil

[DonkeyDan]

Yes, as you get older you realise that there is far greater benefit to being open and honest about everything.

Also as I matured I definitely got to understand my feelings better and I'm very in touch with my emotional side, far more than when I was younger.

It alao helps having lots of life experience, and different experiences over time. Too many people close themselves in their own little world and have no outside influences to learn from, the more open you are the more you learn about yourself and others.

[Fireguy17]

I tried to be more open, but it wasn't something I learned form my parents.
My dad and mom were still from that generation that didn't talk about your feelings.
You get hurt, my dad would say nice shot.
wouldn't even ask are you ok, you just kind of walked it off.
A lot of that has carried over most of my life.
Anything a 9 or lower on the 1 to 10 pain scale you were just fine.
If you were bleeding what you got was you better not get any blood on your good pants.
So we just learned to keep things inside, all bottled up.
And that is not saying I had a bad childhood, I learned a lot of great things and values from my parents, just not how to communicate very well.

[Andres77]

After therapy and finally having a good partner, it's not that I'm in better touch with my feelings... I just better at recognizing what's going on in my head. I'm still oblivious sometimes, I just don't get upset when it gets pointed out because I know that I do it.

[HighlyVolatile]

I seem sort of the opposite in one way and opposite in another. I don't know how to explain it so well. I do a voice recording if you don't mind since I'm practicing it now:
https://voca.ro/1bXH8n15OVtr

[lilyanony1]

Thank you for sharing this recording. I can hear that you are going through a transitional period.
I'm sorry for your losses.

I don't want to say that the wall punching was immature but it was a demonstration of the powerful emotions you had.
People prefers words because they're less frightening especially when aggressive. But sometimes words can't really offer the information the other person needs.

I found after my dad died after my last real heartbreak my emotions feel numb, in regards to love... I have met someone I really like and get along with but I don't want to let myself fall. So I almost brush them off.
I get to the point of excitement then it dies. My enthusiasm is only so much.
I can vocalise this to him but it's also maybe painful for him to hear.
Maybe he's more understanding as he's older and had various experiences of his own.
But it's a really hard thing to say to someone. "even though I like you I don't want to fall In love with you!"

[HighlyVolatile]

I've found a lot of benefit in reframing my thoughts towards the positive. I think 99% of the time I'm doing it genuinely without repressing any emotions. At least I don't think I'm faking it when I find real laughter and smiles in me.

But that 1% or so of the time I think all my attempts to reframe towards the positive might inadvertently be masking something that's really troubling me inside. It doesn't bubble up to the conscious where I can attack it. It's in the subconscious where it flies under the radar.

As for falling in love, life's a risk as I see it. Might as well risk everything. All-in! Actually, I have the opposite problem from you. When I lose people I love, I don't become safe. I go all-in. Then I regret it later when I wake up in a jail cell or with a woman I barely recognize.

[lilyanony1]

You have a nice voice by the way.
I really suggest you take care of yourself...

[Anonymous]

I don't believe age plays into it, other than experience wise. It's whether he's comfortable with you enough to open up, every guy and relationship is different. There's also some guys that simply don't. Some think it's "weakness" because that's how society "programs" us. We have to be "strong", and that shows weakness (how some view it).

[20yearsolder]

I'm not into playing games why not be honest and tell them how you feel

[lilyanony1]

A lot of guys don't! In my experience.
They can lead you up the garden path because in that moment that's how they feel.

[20yearsolder]

I believe that, I just happen to be an open person, someone asked me a question and I given honest answer

[lilyanony1]

That's fair enough!

[Gwenhwyfar]

Ironically, I think people are less in touch with their feelings as they get older. You’re most in touch with your feelings as a teen. I am the exception to this cause I’m an empath.

[Massageman]

Yes, I think you do.

The cerebral cortex of the human brain isn't done developing until about 26 years of age, for starters. Then it needs to "age" a bit- as with wine- to bring all of its subtle nuances to the forefront.

[SenseiSeptred]

My darling woman, complete mastery of emotions is one of the hardest things to accomplish for both genders. One of the few ways that it usually happens is due to achieving the state of nirvana when ditching our aspects of want.

[exitseven]

good question. As I got older it became easier for me to show my feelings. I was pretty closed up as a kid.

[AlwaysBelieving]

More in touch with my feelings. I've actually scared away my TF (Twin Flame). Though she's slowly talking to me again (we are employed at the same place).

[Dchrls78104]

It's not age, it's personality. Some people are candid about what concerns them, sone are more reserved. Ultimately, however, compatibility is important.

[Tyrael]

I've been less in touch with my emotions as I've gotten older. If anything I'd say I'm pretty cold these days, I'm not sure why.

[lilyanony1]

I'm sorry, do you think the pandemic has affected this?

[BarryLiverstone]

Would say I’ve been in touch with how I feel for a while. The ability to communicate those feelings and willingness to trust they will be accepted have improved over time. How about you, have you become more in touch?

[lilyanony1]

I have always been open and vocal my ex partner used to tell me that I'm too sensitive.
I used to find that really offensive. I'm not too sensitive I'm just me.
And I didn't think I needed to change that. At times I felt like he did awful things to me just to toughen me up.
In the end when my dad died and he wasn't there I had to drop him. He was nasty. And I laid it out for him to know. He may have thought I was loose because when we broke up I dated other guys. But when you end a relationship despite wanting to be in one you move on. That's the normal thing to do not sit waiting pining over what could have been. Ugh!
It's important to always find a person that respects and appreciates all aspects of you. He didn't respect me.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I feel I'm in touch with my feelings, I like dating younger women
but I want make sure that's what she's looking for cause I like to be
a serious type of guy

[Citizenkirk]

Check out guys who volunteer at a pet shelter. They will open up about their feelings.

[AndrésC64]

I'd say that I am more in touch with my feelings. But I still have a long long way to go, and I was never very good to start with.

[Anonymous]

As I've gotten older I've wanted to be open with my feelings. But knowing how women will only use it against me I know better than to. It's always best to bury your feelings and just give her the reaction you think she wants.

[Waldoe]

I only share my feelings with "Close, safe Friends" not a random woman... and it may take me a while to decide how I 'Feel'

[bamesjond0069]

Feelings are for women. That explains your problem right there.