What should I do when the dating process is stuck?

[Anonymous]

The first date was really good with food and drink, he said he's so lucky to meet a woman like me, we talked same interests and values. We had an emotional connection on the first dates. We met twice per week and most in his house. I'm an introverted person so I'm comfortable staying at home and watching movies with him. We're in the same city, so he comes to pick me up and get me back - cause I didn't stay over at his house even he usually asks about it. We haven't had sex, but he gave me oral sex and I gave him back on the 4th date, it was good tbh. He always care and ask me about my feeling after we did it and guide me a lot in sexual experiences. We kissed a lot, held hands in public, and some touching.

But I found something at odds, he did not spend the effort to get to know me like on first dates, didn't ask the question around me. He didn't want to know about my life and my family. I am usually a person who comes up with questions and topics. I was tired of one-sided communication like that. I told him about my feeling and emphasized "communication is a key", but he said everything was good - he didn't see any issue except he was just busy at that time (Ye he mentioned it with me before). His text was short, less flirting, and less morning greeting (even he always get up early than me). I decided to less care about him because I also have my job to focus on and I need something as communication equal. When I keep silent for hours, he will text me right away with dry text but THERE WAS NO check-in to see how am I doing or feeling. We didn't hang out for a week because he was busy and I was traveling as well. I was tired to hold a situation like that.

What should I do? How do I handle this man?
What's wrong with him?
What's wrong with me as an inexperienced woman?

Updates

+1 y

Sorry, I may need to update more context. I have met him on Tinder, I am almost 30 y. o and still a virgin - There is some reason in the past, but I don't want to wait until marriage, just find the right person to give it to. I told him, and he said that my body my choice so don't worry about that. He will want until I'm ready

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Hard to say without having established a reasonable 'baseline' of his personality, values, communication skills etc. Either he's just that way with everyone, or he only 'holds back' around you. I'd suggest trying to establish such a baseline if you think he might be worth the effort. Pay attention to how he is around friends, colleagues, family, etc, if you get a chance to observe in such contexts.

That said, if you have a gut feeling that something is "off" with his communication around you, then you should probably default to 'trusting your gut'.

[Asker]

Thank for your advice 🙏 From my observation so far, he has fewer coworkers there because he just moved to my city for work. He is not social media person too, just posted his projects for building personal brand. I saw some chat on his wall, it seems like just greeting conversation.

It's a bit hard because he hasn't introduced me to his friend but I’ll pay attention to this next time

[TheBigGuy9]

I totally agree on the communication. Everything sounds good except the communication part. I’d ask that you both read the same book when you hang out, but separately. Read a chapter. Then talk about it. See how he uses his words.


Does he workout? Do you? I suggest that for a better relationship. Naturally you feel happy through Endorphins. It’s a good thing. Sex is better too.

I like to look for someone who will push me as hard as I push them. Feed off one another to become better people inside and out.
How old is he? Sounds a little immature for being one sided. Can he laugh at himself? Does he stay humble because that’s what you want. I was selfish and one sided at a young age. It took failures of the highest level to become appreciative and see like from a whole different perspective. I’d look for that in a man. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Just be sure you're not being too high maintenance.

[Asker]

Yea I’m actually a simple woman. I always stay positive and find the happiness into the dark. I think if some woman in my situation will move on, but I want stay longer to figure out what is the root cause of myself or himself. I’m not sure if it’s a down side or not

[Iron_Man]

Never give it up

[Asker]

Yea it's a bit struggle to know what is he thinking :(

[Iron_Man]

Right be careful

[Sketti2021]

Just move on