What are your standards for dating? And what do you think about people who say you should lower them?

[Babygirl_S]

I am heterosexual and I like tall and handsome white men the most. Personality is also important. I like confident and calm guys who can be really sexual (absolutely don't like prudish men).
I am constantly told by white men to avoid them because I am an Indian. I think these people are unnecessarily rude and crazy. I can't change who I'm attracted to. In real life, white men have been nice to me. I don't understand why they're so biased online. I have come across a lot of racism just because I want to date a white man.
For me, it's not really about standards but more about passion and desire. I can't ever be with a man I don't feel intensely attracted to. Why would I hurt an Indian man if I'm really interested in marrying a white man? Wouldn't he find out sooner or later my real fantasies? Why should I only like Indian men? It's a free world. It's my prerogative. I believe these people are racists. Anyone offended by interracial dating is one.
I find myself dreaming of really attractive white men. It is not because I'm shallow. It is because I'm a sensual person. I don't want to be just friends with my future husband (more likely to happen if I don't find him physically attractive). I want more than that.In the past, I have been able to attract the kind of guys I considered way above me ( for instance, Daniel Sobieray 👆🏻 liked some of my pictures and I never expected that considering he knows I'm an Indian) So those who tell me I can't ever be with a hot white guy can't pull me down. I am going to let my type of guys decide whether I'm worth their time or not. I am unfazed by anonymous keyboard warriors who could very well be just bitter and obese people I'll never find even remotely attractive. I'll continue admiring my kind of guys until I actually find one to give my heart, body and soul to ❤

[Espresso-Grande]

Stick to your standards. Never lower them.

You know what you want. What type of relationship isn't right for you. So lowering your standards would mean you'd settle for the wrong person and the wrong type of relationship.

Everyone has standards, so don't lower them because someone else thinks you should.

[MCheetah]

What I'm looking for in a girl is a heterosexual, biologically female, monogamous good woman who's kind, has a sense of humor, loyal, classy/ladylike, respectful, hard working, at least cute by my own standards, and most of all, compatible and attracted to me. Sounds like a lot, but besides those last two things, I don't think is very hard to find.

I think when people say to "lower your standards," it means to find someone who is 70-75% your ideal partner, instead of thinking you're going to meet someone who's 98-99% your ideal partner. Mainly though, to just find someone who f*ckin' makes you happy. I wish women would just do that, instead of trying to look for male perfection, then blaming all men when the Chads they select dump them and misuse them, as if that wasn't your own damn fault for choosing him.

And I think everyone should lower their standards once they become too high on their own supply of ego.

You're gay, so it's going to be hard to find a woman who wants to split the bill with you, let alone a monogamous queer person. Hell, I'd find my perfect soulmate before I found that last thing. Also, everything you described just sounds like a basic Liberal female, besides the hygiene, drug-free, and sense of humor parts. If you're willing to drop those three, you'd find your perfect girlfriend/gay wife pretty fast anywhere on the West Coast.

[PatriceONeal]

You won't be finding a man anytime soon.

[jennifer_bloom]

Mine are he has to treat me with respect, protect me, care about my feelings, and be loyal, and capable of solving problems such as bug infestations or broken computers and sinks or furniture etc…

[KitsuneFoxSpirit]

Has goals; do more than play video games/watch movies/sports/TV. Reliable. Has a job, doesn't have to be $80,000+. Has some degree of education. Has a standard sense of hyigene and self-worth. Monogamous. Potentially wants children. Isn't a drug user, drinker or smoker - occasional drink sure but drunk/routine multi-beer drinker I'd kick their ass out faster they can say shiiitttt. Has a sense of humor.

Really my standards are not high - no more than they are for many decent/respectable women with self-respect/esteem.

As for people who say lower them. ... I'll be blunt. I don't want a douchebag.

But there are plenty of cheap women with little to no self-respect that'll be happy to screw joe schmuck at the bar for the price of a pint of beer & a cheesy compliment. Go bother them. Or go phone the local prostitution services you'll have better luck.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Can't be way shorter than I am, as I'm short myself and she'd basically be kid-like.

Decent looking without makeup.

Doesn't have or want to have kids.

Financially responsible.

Good hygiene, just the basics at least.

Has to find me attractive enough for their dating standards.

Honest, but nice about it.

Isn't a psycho when angry and manages it well.

Loves me and is willing to be with me.

Nice person in general.

None-religious.

Not a bigot.

Not a smoker, drinker or drug user, unless extremely responsible with the drinker part.

Not overly fat, muscular or lean for her height.

Polite.

I don't think anyone has ever told me to lower my standards, as I don't think I'm unrealistic with what I want, but it may mean I'd have to date outside my race, as most people of my race are religious, whilst I'm not and also probably want to have kids, which I don't.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I'm still figuring that out.

I'm bi/pan, and so far: have to be gainfully employed and have a strong working history (entrepreneurship or different industries is no worries, but I can't date someone who can't hold a job), have to have good hygiene and health, be a decent human (e. g. not racist, homophobic, etc), has strong communication skills, and is courageous enough to be honest and truthful.

I'm probably gonna raise my standards as time goes on, tbh.

At this point, I'm not looking for just anyone and the one I am waiting for is worth the wait.

[Ευδεμονια]

I think honestly your standards are mostly basic and normal requests for a civil cohabitation, so I don’t find anything abnormal or absurd.
Those who ask you to lower your standards probably doesn’t fit some of these basic requests so probably THEY are the ones in fault that should change their way to be.


I sincerely agree with most of your basic standards, I’ll add some:
- respect and politeness is the way, always;
- no cheating, better speaking directly than play low or tricking;
- no relationship is meant to last forever, if there’s no sentiment let’s say goodbye, better end without fighting than dragging uselessly a dying relationship;
- my group of friends is mine, you have yours and we are not meant to mix them or to insert each other in the other’s group forcefully.

[muscularbumblebee]

Reasonably high I would say although not too high so I can’t actually get it if that makes sense. For casual stuff standards a lot higher physically for obvious reasons than dating


Casual dating: six pack, big, tall, and muscular no exceptions (I’m a gym freak myself) face reasonably hot. Personality just as long as he’s respectful I don’t care if we click or not


Serious dating: doesn’t have to have a six pack but should be taller than me or the same and muscular again, just body fat doesn’t have to be that low, face again reasonably hot but body more important to me. And personally: being able to ‘click’ is very important to me so a little higher than others standard wise I would say but nothing not achievable


Only exception is with women as a bisexual female they tend to be a little lower as they’re always harder to find it date long term I find so it’s more like meh if you’re reasonably cute and have nice personality that will do

[crossdressingrihno]

They needed to be entertaining meaning someone I can hold a conversation with otherwise I don't really see a point in a relationship.

Obviously they can't be crazy or super obsessive or something like that.

I can almost guarantee you I will not date someone who is 20 years old or younger despite the fact that I myself am 20 years old.

I wouldn't date someone who's against alcohol I'm not an alcoholic or anything like that I just can't tolerate people who are very strict against alcohol.

[dynamicyandere]

Those aren’t unreasonable standards. I have even higher standards and yet I found my SO. We’ve been together since 2018 and we’re very happy together.


I think people who tell other people to lower their standards are people who are bitter for not being able to find someone for themselves. I’m sure that the majority of people telling other people to lower their standards are people who are single and looking.

[Jamie05rhs]

My standards are as follows:

-virgin
-strong moral values
-healthy lifestyle
-no addictive substances
-good personality
-frugal with money
-attractive to me



If someone says I should lower my standards, I think those people are generally well-meaning, but they lack an understanding of the big picture. Some people will push you to "find someone" just because they don't want you to be single anymore. But I believe that being in the right relationship with the right person is much more important than just being in any relationship. It isn't just some game.

[LazerBean]

Considerate
Reliable
Shares political and religious values with me
Wants kids
Wants to homeschool
Fits in with my family
Drama free
Hasn't slept around
Wants to wait for marriage
Wants me to be a stay at home mom
No mental illnesses

[Smashingdoozy]

People with reasonable standards are fine. It's when you have a 30 year old saying he wants to date a women who is a virgin and has little to no previous relationship experience... Aka... a child.

Your standards or rather expectations of a SO are perfectly acceptable

[Zachgoat308]

My standards for a girl are


Respectful, Nice, Honest, direct, Funny, cute, loving, gentle, caring, shorter than i am, or close to same height, good hygiene, someone who's always there for me.

[Avicenna]

-She needs to be in at least decent health (and not obese)
-She needs to have some interests in common with me
-She needs to handle money well
-She needs to have a good personality and communicate well
-She can't have any minor children (No children at all is preferable)
- No mental illness or substance abuse issues

[TacosRAwesome]

Agree with yours plus -
- Doesn't drink outside of appropriate occasions (ie social and Sundays and not always).
- is actually into me (ie if he's with me because I'm unproblematic he can piss off)- reasonably attractive- doesn't need an explanation as to why I don't like or don't want to do something- has a grown up food palate - leads a semi active lifestyle.

[Blackcosmo]

Mine is kind, serious, good hygiene, good sense of humour, dates to marry, monogamous, good habits, same religion as me, and is loyal. My standards (and yours) are certainly not high because you should always want to be with a good person.

[Birdlegs]

Those aren’t very high standards that’s pretty much me except I want a son

[melanieeeB]

When someone is claiming my standards are too high, I simply tell them that theirs are just too low.

[Part2603]

You definitely should be more flexible on the political correctness.

[bamesjond0069]

Like a 7 or better looks and not fat
Body count of 3 or less
Age 22 or under
Submissive
Cooks and cleans

[Waldoe]

mmmm... breathing... a good heart, the rest is negotiable