I want everyone’s opinion on this— Why do I feel sick when a guy shows interest in me?

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

Ok, so I rarely get attention from guys (it could just be my short attention span tho), but the few times I’ve been asked out, whether I like him back or not, I’ve felt sick and nauseous. Sometimes I’ll feel great at first, but after a while I start feeling nauseous and dread seeing him the next day. I break off whatever date we have when I see him again and avoid him. I know it sounds bad, but I don’t want to lead him on. I’m ok with random stuff like kissing someone at a party or hooking up, but for some reason dating makes me sick. I really want to date but I don’t know what to do about this feeling. Please help ASAP!

[Gremlinimo]

Sounds like you have anxiety about dates because maybe you can't predict the outcome and you treat them more seriously than a hook-up? I mean hook-ups... you know what's going to happen, right? So your mind is ok with that because it's predictable.

Maybe you could set yourself some milestones or objectives after having thought about where you'd like the date to go. And after setting those milestones/objectives, set yourself a "plan B" just in case something unexpected happens, some alternate direction that would still leave you in control.

I don't think it's anything more, and i'd be telling lies if i said i hadn't experienced this when i was younger. Probably not quite as extreme as you, but i had some pretty miserable dates, wasted opportunities because i was totally out of my comfort zone and worried about stuff that now seems silly :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Because you're a witch. And Satan doesn't want you to have love.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I am satan

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, there you go. That's why you're failing in life.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

grades in school are poppin tho

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. That's good.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO! Lol. 🥰

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

lol np

[DaveJord]

Well, sounds like you have some type of insecurity or anxiety issues over commitment. Which honestly if that is the case you are doing the right thing by breaking if off... but at the same times its not 100% healthy for you if you do not figure out what exactly its all about.

I am not a psychologist so I can not really say what your problem is or where it stems from... could be something in your past or from your child hood. But admitting you have an problem and recognizing it for yourself is the first step, right? So its not all bad, but what you should do about it? I don't know.

Other than being honest about it with yourself and your potential mate... I would say there should be a way for you to work through it together as long as he is aware of the issue and is willing to go through the process with you... other then that you might want to get a professional opinion.

I as a man, if a women was honest with me about having commitment issues, to the point of having panic attacks over it... well depending on the women I would be willing to work through it with her... but I would make no promises either in regards to long term commitment. I would be willing to date her in the short term and see how it turns out. But obviously its a you problem that you have to be willing to address yourself on your terms so I am not sure how willing or capable you would be able to do that with someone else. Eventually if the goal is to date and be in a committed relationships you have to go through it with someone.

I would start by discussing it with guy and being honest about it instead of just ghosting or breaking it off before giving a chance. But you have to honest about it with him, and you have to be committed in trying to make it work.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I don’t know if it’s commitment issues or not because the thought of being with a guy long term doesn’t scare me. The nausea is more like the “disgusted at something” type

[DaveJord]

Yeah, you seriously need to determine what the source of the nausea is. I think it is something with you obviously and your not in complete denial about it, so that's good.

So my none answer here is that I don't really know what it its all about either, and I do not want to make any assumptions about it. But if you think its a problem then you need to explore what it is all about and if you need professional help in doing that then so be it.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

thank you so much

[PrettyPriya]

That is just the nerves getting worked up. That is natural. Maybe not to that point of being physically nauseated for most but nervous, yes. That is very common and what is causing you to not feel well. You are just overly nervous about the date.

My best suggestion, other than maybe trying a non prescription nausea medication, is to work on some meditation and breathing exercises. I always found that meditating and slowing my breathing helps in a lot of situations where I am feeling stressed or nervous.

There is loads of info on how to meditate and breathing exercises on the internet. I would start with the breathing stuff. That will lower your heart rate and calm you down. It is a good habit to practice in general.

Again, other than that, you could try some nausea medication that helps with your stomach. Those should be available at most drug stores and just take some before the date, knowing that it could be an issue. Just try to relax and enjoy! Dating should be fun!!

[Changiis07]

I mean what's bad about dating. You choose to slow down if you want to. You don't have to date thinking it will go somewhere. You can date and let them know you want to be friends or see where it goes. You have control over the situation and over your emotions. Just because you are dating does not mean it will lead to marriage or a serious relationship if you are not ready to take that step

[Staximus]

You are ok with fucking random dudes but god forbid they actually want to spend some quality time with you outside the bedroom? You have a severe aversion to intimacy. Your fear of intimacy needs to be addressed, go talk to a psychologist about it. If you don't fix that problem, you will just be used for sex for the rest of your life and keep making guys think they mean nothing to you. Start with not fucking random dudes and at least hang out with them a few times before having sex.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I didn’t mean random people, mostly because I don’t know if they’re stable and I don’t want to be used. I meant hooking up with someone, maybe a colleague or friend without planning it.

[slatyb]

What was your childhood like? If you had a traumatic childhood it's normal to be wary of people showing you interest. Can you see a counselor and talk about this? It helped me when I was in my thirties. It would have helped more when I was 21.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

The only problem I had was that I got suspended a lot from school for defending myself in a fight. Other than that, I got good grades, had good friends and my parents were awesome. Not really a lot wrong with my childhood

[Aerissa_Jade]

Anxiety, fear of commitment maybe? Subconsciously that is what you mind is saying when your conscience mind wants it.

Gotta love those conscience unconscienced battles.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I think that’s it

[Guy13]

Have you thought about slowing down, breathing, and thinking through things. Have you ever practiced relaxation techniques for your Nervousness ⁉️

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I do that regularly. The nauseating feeling is more like a revulsion type of nausea

[Guy13]

Sounds like a consult for psychologist or some sort of witchy demon at work?

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

mwahahahaha

[Guy13]

Thank you for having a sense of humor and catching that... you wicked sinner ;-)

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you might have anxiety. Have you spoken to a therapist about this because it sounds like it really affects your life a lot?

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I actually have a social anxiety disorder. I didn’t really take it into account because I rarely panic and am pretty extroverted most of the time. I didn’t add all the details into the question, but it’s as if the guy makes me disgusted about him. Like I don’t like hanging out anymore and I don't know why

[Avicenna]

You really need some professional assistance in coming up with additional ways to cope with it.

[Anonymous]

“I’m okay with hooking up and fucking some rando at a party, but dating? Help!”

Honey, you need a professional. None of us here are qualified to help you.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I didn’t mean like a random person, because I don’t know if they’re a psycho or not. I meant like hooking up with someone I know, without planning it.

[Vasarion]

Probably only get invited out on dates by ugly guys

[maximumpower]

Anxiety.
Try jumping out of a plane sometime.

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

I’ve actually done that and didn’t really feel too bad. It’s more like a disgust kind of nausea

[TheMajesticKing777]

And you are sure you want to date?

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

yes, I am. I don’t know if they’re just not the right guys

[TheMajesticKing777]

It's possible, I think comfort plays a part when knowing the right guy and if it was the right guy I would assume you'd be more comfortable

[Wise4myage]

Is it nervousness?

[SabbyTheTeenageWitch]

Not really. I don’t get nervous much. It’s just that I suddenly feel disgusted towards the guy and it goes downhill from there

[driven159]

may go away in time