If you've lost interest in someone you've been dating, which of these actions are you most likely to take to end things?

[Still-alive]

So initially you were interested in this person but for whatever reason you lost it and now want to end things/stop dating. Which are you more likely to do in this scenario?

So you were never quite officially a couple yet but were talking quite extensively and often intimately. And now youjust no onger feel the spark anymore.

Tell the date in person im no longer interested and wish them well

Tell the date over phone

Tell the date over text or through dm (email, facebook, whatever)

Just ghost (just ignore them and drop all contact with them) the person entirely to avoid and possible ugliness

Lie/fib to them and say im seeing someone else even though im not

I would actually keep trying to talk to them but stress that we are friends only and i won't escalate beyond that with them

I would say or do something else (say what)

Updates

1 y

So just a reminder im asking about a situation where you never reached official boyfriend/girlfriend yet and have only just been talking and gone on a few dates. So no break up as there's nothing to break yet. You just are no longer feeling it like you first did when you began talking and went on your first date with them.

[zeitgeist057]

Ghosting is the ugliest of these options, to the point that if I were dating someone and I found out this is how they answer the question, even though they didn't do it to me, I would seriously reconsider how much I respected them, and how well I thought I knew them. It's highly likely I would choose to end the relationship.

Good people don't do this. People who respect others and/or themselves don't do this. This is the equivalent of screaming at strangers in public or being rude to servers or store staff. I wouldn't do that even to a stranger, because they deserve respect. If it was someone I had actually spent intimate time with dating or getting to know them, it would be even worse.

Second worst on the list is lying that you met someone else. Just put on your big person pants and be honest. If you can't handle breaking up without ghosting, or being honest, you have no business dating someone or being involved with ANYONE romantically until you can grow up.

I chose the second to last option. Just let them know how I'm feeling, and if they want to be friends we can just play by ear and see what happens. I've had lifelong friends that started romantically, and also people who just drifted away. No need to create unnecessary drama and heartache by being immature or lying.

[Still-alive]

Definitely agree!

[CalmMind]

Just tell them it's not going to work out. There's really no other conversation needed as to why. I prefer face to face but I can see where given that it's only been a few dates a call or text would suffice. You can go into detail as to why if you're feeling generous, but you don't owe them any explanation. This is literally the entire purpose of dating prior to a more committed relationship is to test waters, get to know one another without obligations, etc. Most women I've gone on dates with handle it like a grown up and we've had no issues. A couple thought they were owed an explanation which they didn't get. One has been and continues to drive into my driveway every morning to make sure I'm still living at my address. I slept with none of these women, so it wasn't a smash and dash thing. Date accordingly.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Simple- sit him down like a mature adult and let him know that I've lost interest in him. Not tell via text or social media! That is just immature and cowardly! Or if telling him in person isn't an option (ie: it's long distance or he's unavailable), I would call him or video chat.

As someone that's been broken up with over text, messenger, email, smoke signal... y'all get the point, I've been broken up with alot- as much as it hurts, and it's disappointing, I much rather be told in person than through text if possible. It just seems like you're avoiding the person and conflict.

[Pinay_ako]

I’d rather be hurt with hard truth than comforted with a sugarcoated lie… I will heal faster!

[Still-alive]

Woo lots of love from people on your answer here lol ❤️

[Pinay_ako]

Yea don’t break my heart slowly. Just hit it one time but I’ll be fine.

[Still-alive]

Right? Like the others say here just rip the proverbial band aid off all at once. It’ll suck and be painful for a little while at least but eventually ill make it i always have before.

[ManOnFire]

So the interesting things about this question are that more women than men have answered, and more women than men voted to ghost the person. More women have answered because women love letting someone know they're done or not interested anymore - in which ever form. I think they may even enjoy this more than telling someone they like them.

However, for myself, I always believe in being straight up with the other person and being honest. Ghosting is disgusting and I could never do that.

[butterfly113]

i see talking about it and confronting him/her with the truth is the best thing to do it's better to give them a close after all they got feelings too and if you lost the spark doesn't mean you should be mean.. Tell them what went wrong. maybe losing interest can be because you start to like someone else and you have the right to choose whoever you want to continue your life with in this case it's better not to tell the truth. On the other hand losing interest could be just a phase cause of pressure or sthing , in this case i would ask for space if i notice that i m missing them so much i d go back and look for a solution like breaking the routin in order to revive that flame

[melanieeeB]

I will say in person but like the two that I have been seeing for a while and then wanted to end things, both refused to meet me in person.
For one I even traveled two hours to his city so we can talk but naaah he didn't show up and I waited until 11 pm, so with this one I just texted okay then and blocked him everywhere and the second got a long ass text from me.

[Still-alive]

Yikes. So was the reason cause you just didn’t feel anything any longer?

[melanieeeB]

No I realized it doesn't fit for a relationship and I couldn't see a future with them, it takes longer then 3-4 dates until I catch any feelings, so feelings weren't the reason at all.

[atiquahbby]

I was still chatting with this guy (I hadn't been on a date with him yet), and tried communicating to this guy that I'm just not that into him, but he wasn't receiving it well.

I told him I initially didn't feel a spark as most people won't just based in a couple of photos, so I decided to talk and know him better before deciding but still felt that the spark wasn't there. He wasn't ready to hear this so he insisted that I meet with him in person before dropping this, but I declined.

Just because I said no to him, he said that I don't even know what I want myself.

I tried being as nice as possible, telling him that just because I spoke to him, it doesn't mean it is guaranteed to work out. But again he wasn't having it.

It was horrible that he chose to react this way although a he was 30!

[Rania05]

I'd probably call him for a date and have a good time to see if I can still grasp the spark again, if it doesn't work the next day I would call again for a meetup and sit down to prepare him mentally with some popular science and thrilling psychological facts before I drop the bomb gently after a good meal sitting in a fairly secluded area from others in fastfood restaurant.

He probably could've already guessed it from my talk earlier but in denial so it would be a little more acceptable the moment he hear it directly.

[Thatgirlcvp]

Rip the bandaid off. If you respect him you'll do it in person and be honest. He deserves that respect too. If he displayed red flags and the woman is unsure on how he'll react, then in that case she could do it over text. But if he is not a psycho it's always right to do it in person.

[CrazyGirl2]

I would never email or text… I believe the only decent thing to do is tell them to their face, but there are just some guys who frankly, did something so awful that a phone call to say “clearly we’re not gonna work out. Goodbye” is all you can stomach!

[SaoirseS]

I chose A, but I'll qualify that with there was never any intimacy involved in those cases.

I'm not one to offer up explanations when none are required, but something like an "it's just not going to work out" done IN PERSON is the only way I ever ended anything. And I was perfectly fine being on the receiving end of it. I don't need or want the details.

[Kaytiee]

Just rip the bandaid off as people say, I'd want the same done to me. I dislike lies or ghosting, just be upfront it helps people move on a lot sooner, and cut those emotional ties sooner also.

[DizzyDesii]

Let them figure it out like they’d do us

[AsaKyo]

In person is the best way to handle it, but if you can't do in person at the moment, then video call or a voice call is the next best thing. A text breakup is the worst route you can take.

[Cherry234]

I'd most likely tell my date in person how I feel but if I can't reach him or I don't have time or the distance is inconvenient I would text him or call him to tell him how I feel.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I'm likely to use almost the exact phrase you have in the green bubbles there. If he is a decent person, might suggest we stay friends to hang out but not romantically. If he is weird, strange or gives me bad vibes I won't do that.

[Ill_made_Knight]

Faced to face and as honestly as possible... most people do the other things because they really want very badly no to hurt the other... but it's gonna hurt and this is the best way to not leave anyone wondering or trying to hang on.

[TransAm85]

I like to talk in person. Just tell them straight up we're not a good fit, I seem to only click w/Capricorns and Taurus..

[menina]

Voted F or I would tell them that I was no longer interested through text.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

If we've had a few dates, I'll try to break it to them in person. If it's just been the first meeting, probably by text.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Tell the date in person I'm no longer interested and wish them well

[Blueeyes81]

Phone or text. In person is for a more personal relationship- boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife.

[linka_pat307]

Just make them hate mi by doing things they hate

[TacosRAwesome]

Doesn't always work.

[DizzyDesii]

I definitely do this. Works fine for me