Sex with my boyfriend seems like he wants his ex back maybe?

[Anonymous]

My new boyfriend is still in the process of getting divorced. We have sex almost daily and he always pulls out. When I ask, he says he doesn’t need any accidents to complicate the divorce and he’ll stop doing it when things are finalized. Does that sound right or is he holding out hope of getting her back? I don’t really know how to read the situation and he knows it bothers me.

[MaazHussain]

It's difficult to say for sure what your boyfriend's motivations are, but it's important to communicate with him and express your concerns. Pulling out during sex can be an effective method of birth control, but it's not foolproof, and if he's not using any other form of contraception, it's understandable that you might be worried.

It's possible that your boyfriend is still holding out hope of getting back with his ex, but it's also possible that he's simply being cautious and trying to avoid any complications that could arise during the divorce process. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns and ask him directly about his intentions. It's important to establish clear boundaries and expectations in any relationship, and if you're not comfortable with the situation, it's important to communicate that and decide whether the relationship is right for you.

[RavVid]

Do you have plans to have babies after the divorce? Are you using any birth control other than the unreliable pull out method? Does he have babies with his ex?

It does seem reasonable to me that he wants to see what happens with the divorce before starting a family if that is the plan.

[Asker]

No plans for children and yes, I use birth control. This is all on his end.

[RavVid]

It seems a bit strange to pull out then if there is little chance of children. I wouldn't. I can't think of a good reason except to be doubly sure.

[Asker]

I know right? I mean I know it’s not unusual for guys to pull out until they know they don’t need to but that’s not the case here. It almost feels like he doesn’t trust me and I could potentially ruin any chance of reconciliation. Because why would it matter if he’s really done with her? On the realistic side, I do realize I’m technically the side chick until the divorce agreement is finalized. Maybe the pulling out is reinforcing that in my mind and making me insecure? I don’t know. I guess I should just chill for now and see where things lead.

[RavVid]

Yeah chill on this. It may be being doubly sure in his mind and at this point going through divorce he wants some plain sailing. I could imagine doing that.

I think you are more his new girl than side chick at this point. Do you know what caused the divorce because then you will know some of what to avoid in your relationship.

[Asker]

From what he says, she was always spending money they didn’t have and they argued all the time about it and she was very controlling. I don’t think it had anything to do with him not being attracted to her.

[RavVid]

Don't see why he would want to go back to that. I had a girl who spent every thing she earn't and wanted to spend every thing I earnt. A nightmare so I think your good.

[Asker]

That makes me feel better. Thanks!

[RavVid]

Glad to help. I and a lot of guys don't want to not seem in control, I will take some things to the grave. The least we talk about it the better. We just want our good girl to understand that and not probe.

[spartan55]

Well you are definitely reading this one wrong. He is being smart not wanting to knock you up right now. Most reasonable people would appreciate that. You however believe it means he wants to get back with his ex... good lord...

[NostalgiaSenpi]

This is why I don't think people should get into relationships while still in the process of divorce or separated.

[OddBeMe]

Pulling out is like maybe 40% more protective. Especially at yalls age…. so what are you naming your baby?

[MadAndBankrupt]

If you can’t then how would I read it.

you’re the one who knows him

[noohair]

It could be too early for him to be in a relationship and you are a rebound for him.

[ERB62]

He is avoiding trouble as much as possible

[jimmy2]

He don't want kids