He wouldn’t take me on a date until I brung it up. Who is wrong in this situation?

[Anonymous]

I started “dating” a friend I had known for years. Except we never went on a date. It felt like I was settling for less because all we ever did was hang out at my place. But our schedules never aligned and he worked 3 jobs, I worked 6-7 days every week. I still felt like we could squeeze in a date but he never asked. But I at least expected something for Valentine’s Day. I got nothing. Not a card, not a flower, nothing. And I felt like I expected that he should try to make it up another day since he was working Valentine’s Day and I was too. But he never bring it up. After two days I told him I was upset that he was just going to let it pass without trying to make it special or at least trying another day. I told him the day I would have off was Monday and he said we would go out on a date. Then a minute later he told me that he couldn’t because he had work. He seemed upset that I said we had to wait until Monday to see each other and I was upset that he canceled the one date without any attempt to reschedule. He told me that in another month he was quitting one of his jobs and would have more time but that it seemed like I wasn’t taking all the time we could get together and was more upset over Valentine’s Day. Eventually he said something that made me feel more satisfied which was to let him know when I had a day off and he would just drop everything. I told him that I didn’t want to be selfish and ask him to do that and he insisted that he was just going to call off of work or whatever other responsibilities he had so that he could take me out. I felt like it was nice that he was willing to but I wasn’t going to ever ask him to drop everything for a date. But then I decided that he could come back over to my place again because he at least was making an effort to give me what I want. But he refused and said he wouldn’t see me until we went on a date.

[Anonymous]

I think you just need to look at the situation you two have going for what it is and wash your hands of it. If he were really serious about you, he would make you a priority in his life no matter what, but he isn’t. I don’t fall for the excuse of being too busy anymore because I know that if he really wanted to, he would. I’ve dated someone who worked a lot and as a result wouldn’t try with me. I thought it was normal until I met my current boyfriend. He works 6 days a week, doesn’t get off til 11pm, bone tired and still makes the hour drive to my house every night even just to fall asleep with me. Those men are still out there, and you shouldn’t settle for less until you find one.

[Asker]

He does come to my place often late at night after work. But I’m saying it seems like that’s all we do

[Opinion Owner]

And nothing is wrong with wanting to do more, if he were serious he would receive that in the right way and try to make some plans with you. Or at least show his feelings for you for something important like VDay. I know some would argue that it’s just another day and shouldn’t matter, but for a lot of us it does and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate it. With your guy, he didn’t even have to go all out but some recognition would be both nice and reassuring. Like with the situation you two are in, you want to feel like it’s going somewhere and that he’s invested. So to have no acknowledgement of the day, then carry on with this situation you two have, there just needs to be a silver lining somewhere, that’s all.