Agree or Disagree: It's important to play hard to get when you're interested in someone?

Question

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

I Disagree, but I am not an absolutist about it.

On one hand I feel it's unnecessary in modern times due to brithcontrol and because there is little to no shame in not bring comitted to just one person.
Besides, it's hell on the other side of games when you're not entierly attuned to slight hints that constantly change the rules. Especially men aren't generally brought up in an environment that teaches us the subtle nature the way women are, navigating social deception since early childhood, learning to value what's between the lines more than the lines. Generally, men are direct and confrontational in communication.
It's cause for friction that I feel uncomfortable with. But if I was an ace at it then I'd see it differently.

But, on the other hand..
The evolutionary cause for playing games are a way to test for the ability to be nuanced which is directly tied to her safety with that person and it's an important skill that is very impressive, honestly.
There has always been a danger in comitting to a man you aren't sure to be worthy, subtle games are a way for a woman to test the waters without comiting openly to anything.

Girls, isn't it also directly tied to turning on a woman? Isn't it a vital part of foreplay to be able to exchange hints and build tension that leads to unspoken mischief?

In the end, I think it matters little what we think about it (so long as we're not about social enforcment, that is). As long as men will be catering to women, which has been the case for most if not all of history, then women will be the ones that decides what trials and hoops men need to go through to get with them.
Genetic data suggest around 30% of men throughout history never passed on their genes, with women that is below 10%. These are not only sexual causes ofc, but still, even divergent "leftovers" of women can have a family if they choose to, men relies on women's choice.

In todays modern times when there's little consequence, games seem more strange and unnecessary but they are so ingrained in our nature that I think it's rather impossible to be rid of them, only social enforcement through culture can supress it, but not for long and when it comes to nuance, maybe not at all as it has to do with being able to flirt too.

As an afterthought; the question is about playing hard to get, not games and nuance in general.
I suppose that has more to do with excitement than practically weeding out people. Or maybe it's what happens when you want nuance in a partner but due to the subtle nature of it you get away with playing with many at once without comiting to any one person.
Surely that is also some type of status-play there going on on peer-level. Unconciously ofc.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

It is extremely important to play deceptive and dishonest games when you want to establish a meaningful and trusting relationship.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

My pastor who I watched online said your body and physical endowment does not make you unique but your personality is unique and so is your spirit so a guy who is interested in your character won't drop you because you are not as accessible as other girls that throw themselves at him. Another thing is many men enjoy chasing the girl and don't want a girl that doesn't put up a chase for him. I've heard online of guys who purposely make girls hate them before showing interest in her cause they want the girl to be harder for him to get. The fact people like Pokemon show that some people like to chase things.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

If you’re seriously interested in someone why play any games at all🤷‍♀️

DaveJord · Answer

See there is fine line here... when starting a relationship, you have to express and interest but do not over express too much of an interest. I mean if you come on too strong to soon then you can creep them out. If you play it too cool, then they can lose interest.

So, I would never say play hard to get, but set healthy boundaries.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Disagree. Because playing hard to get can send the wrong message. Especially if you're bad at reading people when they're interested in you and they might interpret it as disinterest (example: me).

And most of us on here are adults: y'all are too damn old to be playing hard to get!!! If you like someone, make it obvious. Better still, TELL THEM. If you think they might be interested in you, ask him/her out and see where it leads.

mikan_galena · Answer

No! No no no no no. It may work for some, but that doesn’t fly for me. If I am interested in someone, I make it explicitly know and I expect the same (this is how my partner and I operate).
If someone decides that they need to manipulate me into liking them by making themselves seem unavailable, then I will just see them as unavailable and uninterested.
If you’re playing hard to get with me, then you don’t know me well enough to be interested and I will not put effort into deciphering true intentions!

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It is a horrible idea in my opinion. The guy is likely to interpret it as lack of interest, and not pursue the woman any further. That, or if he "gets it" that she is just playing "hard to get", he might think that if she is playing this game now, what games will she be playing in the future?

richardcory · Answer

Absolutely not. If someone were to play hard-to-get with me, I'd assume they were not interested and stop. Hollywood may like the idea of pursuing someone after they reject you but in real life that is "harassment" and "stalking".

VIVANT · Answer

Disagree. Be upfront and if they are not upfront or not interested, move on. Yes many people Will want you to play gamesl while saying they don’t like games— that’s part of the game— and you will disappoint them it “freak them out” by being upfront but if you really want a reasonable person it’s best to be reasonable. If you both want similar thing honesty should only help foster trust. If one of you what’s to play around they’ll play games. Three nothing good will come from it unless you want to play fake sin which case go showed. But if you actually want to get an acquainted, be honest. Honest doesn’t mean psycho. If you have issues with self control gusts entirely different matter.

kbbroiler · Answer

Honestly it depends how old you are. From my end I am 52 years old and I know a lot of women around my age who act like they are still 20 and think I am going to chase them or jump threw hoops. I would not do this with young women so why would I do this with women my age. LOL….. Ladies who are around my age if you see a guy you like you better shoot your shot with him fast because chances are he may not notice you again.

chrissykerdock · Answer

if i like someone i'll kiss them let them feel me up neath my skirt and i'll give them a blowjob and swallow their cum... which would indicate i like them,,, not into games most guys if not all respond well to that kind of loving or at least they give me a chance.

Steelcore5280 · Answer

That's a 100% disagree from me. I'm almost 30. I ain't got time for stupid shit mind games that women play. I have important things to do, and I ain't slowing down for anyone in my life.

If a woman wants to play stupid ass psychological games with me, she can consider my interest in her to be nonexistent. I'm not in middle school anymore.

Screenwriter · Answer

There is no telling how an individual will react to gamesmanship.

Personally, I don't like it. There might be some who think it's a challenge. I prefer honesty. I don't play hard to get or easy. I play ME.

Siri137 · Answer

Disagree. It's important to be there for the person you are interested in if, or when, they reciprocate that interest. You wouldn't want to miss an opportunity.

Hinaaaaa · Answer

Well yes... cause sometimes you can never know if you are being played kr someone genuinely likes you... So yes.. but give them a chance... to see what unfolds after that...🙃

Simslover92 · Answer

Playing hard to get is playing games. I'm too old for that shit. Just let them know how you feel off the bat. It is just easier and painless that way and you know where you stand immediately.

Fireguy17 · Answer

just stop playing those stupid games. You are way more apt to lose that person because someone else came along that was available. Then you sit there all alone and wonder why you are still alone.

Anemone978 · Answer

I don't know.. I could never get a guy I was interested in, only the ones who were interested in me.. I have no idea how this dating shit works..

notmysundaybest · Answer

Disagree. It's literally the worst sign to a guy because they don't wanna pursue someone who comes off as uninterested because and come across as creepy. So any normal person would back off. That's a question for 13 year olds

Anonymous · Answer

It's a dangerous game you're playing. Some guys might respond favorably but I'm not one of them. If a woman expects me to chase her she will find me walking the other direction. Moreover if she sees her error then makes a move on me afterwards she'll get shut down. I don't play.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

She can play hard to get all she wants, doesn't mean I'll be more interested. I don't play those games myself. If I like someone, I'm just open about it and hopefully she will be too.

Lionman95 · Answer

Disagree because people playing hard to get lead to situations where guys can't distinguish between women rejecting them or just playing hard to get.

YourExLover69 · Answer

I don't like playing hard with someone. If I'm not in a girl I'd try to give her few hints.

Also I prefer a girl not to show interest very quickly or easily but playing hard is also bad thing. So moderate action is better. 😊

Agree or Disagree: It's important to play hard to get when you're interested in someone?

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