Agree or Disagree: It's important to play hard to get when you're interested in someone?

Question

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

I Disagree, but I am not an absolutist about it.

On one hand I feel it's unnecessary in modern times due to brithcontrol and because there is little to no shame in not bring comitted to just one person.
Besides, it's hell on the other side of games when you're not entierly attuned to slight hints that constantly change the rules. Especially men aren't generally brought up in an environment that teaches us the subtle nature the way women are, navigating social deception since early childhood, learning to value what's between the lines more than the lines. Generally, men are direct and confrontational in communication.
It's cause for friction that I feel uncomfortable with. But if I was an ace at it then I'd see it differently.

But, on the other hand..
The evolutionary cause for playing games are a way to test for the ability to be nuanced which is directly tied to her safety with that person and it's an important skill that is very impressive, honestly.
There has always been a danger in comitting to a man you aren't sure to be worthy, subtle games are a way for a woman to test the waters without comiting openly to anything.

Girls, isn't it also directly tied to turning on a woman? Isn't it a vital part of foreplay to be able to exchange hints and build tension that leads to unspoken mischief?

In the end, I think it matters little what we think about it (so long as we're not about social enforcment, that is). As long as men will be catering to women, which has been the case for most if not all of history, then women will be the ones that decides what trials and hoops men need to go through to get with them.
Genetic data suggest around 30% of men throughout history never passed on their genes, with women that is below 10%. These are not only sexual causes ofc, but still, even divergent "leftovers" of women can have a family if they choose to, men relies on women's choice.

In todays modern times when there's little consequence, games seem more strange and unnecessary but they are so ingrained in our nature that I think it's rather impossible to be rid of them, only social enforcement through culture can supress it, but not for long and when it comes to nuance, maybe not at all as it has to do with being able to flirt too.

As an afterthought; the question is about playing hard to get, not games and nuance in general.
I suppose that has more to do with excitement than practically weeding out people. Or maybe it's what happens when you want nuance in a partner but due to the subtle nature of it you get away with playing with many at once without comiting to any one person.
Surely that is also some type of status-play there going on on peer-level. Unconciously ofc.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

It is extremely important to play deceptive and dishonest games when you want to establish a meaningful and trusting relationship.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

My pastor who I watched online said your body and physical endowment does not make you unique but your personality is unique and so is your spirit so a guy who is interested in your character won't drop you because you are not as accessible as other girls that throw themselves at him. Another thing is many men enjoy chasing the girl and don't want a girl that doesn't put up a chase for him. I've heard online of guys who purposely make girls hate them before showing interest in her cause they want the girl to be harder for him to get. The fact people like Pokemon show that some people like to chase things.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

If you’re seriously interested in someone why play any games at all🤷‍♀️

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Disagree. Because playing hard to get can send the wrong message. Especially if you're bad at reading people when they're interested in you and they might interpret it as disinterest (example: me).

And most of us on here are adults: y'all are too damn old to be playing hard to get!!! If you like someone, make it obvious. Better still, TELL THEM. If you think they might be interested in you, ask him/her out and see where it leads.

DaveJord · Answer

See there is fine line here... when starting a relationship, you have to express and interest but do not over express too much of an interest. I mean if you come on too strong to soon then you can creep them out. If you play it too cool, then they can lose interest.

So, I would never say play hard to get, but set healthy boundaries.

mikan_galena · Answer

No! No no no no no. It may work for some, but that doesn’t fly for me. If I am interested in someone, I make it explicitly know and I expect the same (this is how my partner and I operate).
If someone decides that they need to manipulate me into liking them by making themselves seem unavailable, then I will just see them as unavailable and uninterested.
If you’re playing hard to get with me, then you don’t know me well enough to be interested and I will not put effort into deciphering true intentions!

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It is a horrible idea in my opinion. The guy is likely to interpret it as lack of interest, and not pursue the woman any further. That, or if he "gets it" that she is just playing "hard to get", he might think that if she is playing this game now, what games will she be playing in the future?

richardcory · Answer

Absolutely not. If someone were to play hard-to-get with me, I'd assume they were not interested and stop. Hollywood may like the idea of pursuing someone after they reject you but in real life that is "harassment" and "stalking".

VIVANT · Answer

Disagree. Be upfront and if they are not upfront or not interested, move on. Yes many people Will want you to play gamesl while saying they don’t like games— that’s part of the game— and you will disappoint them it “freak them out” by being upfront but if you really want a reasonable person it’s best to be reasonable. If you both want similar thing honesty should only help foster trust. If one of you what’s to play around they’ll play games. Three nothing good will come from it unless you want to play fake sin which case go showed. But if you actually want to get an acquainted, be honest. Honest doesn’t mean psycho. If you have issues with self control gusts entirely different matter.

kbbroiler · Answer

Honestly it depends how old you are. From my end I am 52 years old and I know a lot of women around my age who act like they are still 20 and think I am going to chase them or jump threw hoops. I would not do this with young women so why would I do this with women my age. LOL….. Ladies who are around my age if you see a guy you like you better shoot your shot with him fast because chances are he may not notice you again.

chrissykerdock · Answer

if i like someone i'll kiss them let them feel me up neath my skirt and i'll give them a blowjob and swallow their cum... which would indicate i like them,,, not into games most guys if not all respond well to that kind of loving or at least they give me a chance.

Screenwriter · Answer

There is no telling how an individual will react to gamesmanship.

Personally, I don't like it. There might be some who think it's a challenge. I prefer honesty. I don't play hard to get or easy. I play ME.

Steelcore5280 · Answer

That's a 100% disagree from me. I'm almost 30. I ain't got time for stupid shit mind games that women play. I have important things to do, and I ain't slowing down for anyone in my life.

If a woman wants to play stupid ass psychological games with me, she can consider my interest in her to be nonexistent. I'm not in middle school anymore.

Siri137 · Answer

Disagree. It's important to be there for the person you are interested in if, or when, they reciprocate that interest. You wouldn't want to miss an opportunity.

Anemone978 · Answer

I don't know.. I could never get a guy I was interested in, only the ones who were interested in me.. I have no idea how this dating shit works..

Simslover92 · Answer

Playing hard to get is playing games. I'm too old for that shit. Just let them know how you feel off the bat. It is just easier and painless that way and you know where you stand immediately.

Hinaaaaa · Answer

Well yes... cause sometimes you can never know if you are being played kr someone genuinely likes you... So yes.. but give them a chance... to see what unfolds after that...🙃

Anonymous · Answer

It's a dangerous game you're playing. Some guys might respond favorably but I'm not one of them. If a woman expects me to chase her she will find me walking the other direction. Moreover if she sees her error then makes a move on me afterwards she'll get shut down. I don't play.

Anonymous · Answer

It's important to genuinely be hard to get, which means having strong boundaries and being cautious not to get committed to someone too easily. But it doesn't mean you should ignore them on purpose. It would be ideal to be as open as possible while still being in control of the degree or your commitment.

notmysundaybest · Answer

Disagree. It's literally the worst sign to a guy because they don't wanna pursue someone who comes off as uninterested because and come across as creepy. So any normal person would back off. That's a question for 13 year olds

OfMiceandMen · Answer

She can play hard to get all she wants, doesn't mean I'll be more interested. I don't play those games myself. If I like someone, I'm just open about it and hopefully she will be too.

Fireguy17 · Answer

just stop playing those stupid games. You are way more apt to lose that person because someone else came along that was available. Then you sit there all alone and wonder why you are still alone.

Lionman95 · Answer

Disagree because people playing hard to get lead to situations where guys can't distinguish between women rejecting them or just playing hard to get.

YourExLover69 · Answer

I don't like playing hard with someone. If I'm not in a girl I'd try to give her few hints.

Also I prefer a girl not to show interest very quickly or easily but playing hard is also bad thing. So moderate action is better. 😊

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont think I’ve ever played hard to get. If we’re not together yet, one of us is stalling or slowing the process for a reason

slatyb · Answer

Games are for children. If I ask a woman out, it's yes or no. If it's no, I'll accept that and move on.

spartan55 · Answer

Sure, important if you want to piss him off and make him go away.

worldscolide · Answer

Disagree strongly. She plays hard to get, I play impossible to get. I don't play childish manipulative games.

Anpu23 · Answer

Hard to get is sending mixed messages, and anyone who is really worth being with will respect a "no" and move on.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Disagree, at least for me. I do not waste time once I find out she is disinterested so her playing hard to get means I will not make further effort.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I hated when girls sent mixed signals. It's like she's not sure what she wants. I was never interested in playing those games. You're either interested or You're not

sheenagwapa · Answer

i never play hard to get... playinh hatd to get are for scammers and liars

Ninania · Answer

No. If they like you too, they'll reciprocate your attention.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

If you mean don't hop on their dick in the first 10 minutes, probably. If you mean act disinterested, probably not.

Anonymous · Answer

Disagree.  Its better to have boundaries, so that no one can take advantage of your love and care , but playing hard to get is very tiring.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Agree…to an extent. I want the guy to chase me a little bit.

astrophelle · Answer

I never played hard my god there is no need for such things.

OddBeMe · Answer

On some level, yeah. It’s weird but playing it kinda mean and sarcastic (very cautiously) makes women more wet for you.

MeatPuppet · Answer

Just fucking make it obvious. We men are stressed out, we don't have time or energy for mind games and puzzles.

Anonymous · Answer

Only if you are a man.  women shouldn’t play this bullshit. women love the hard to get male but women who play this shit are intolerable

Iron_Man · Answer

Not really too many psychological head games are played and you can end up losing out

DextroShade · Answer

The people who buy into this crap tend to die alone.

Jltakk · Answer

Completely disagree with playing hard to get at anything. If you want a relationship, you better show you're able to communicate and be honest.

Chthou95 · Answer

A woman doesn't have to play hard to get a man interested. She already won before anything has started

msc545 · Answer

No, it's manipulative and dishonest and a waste of time

Alex8736 · Answer

Disagree--- as the old saying goes "if you hesitate, you masturbate "

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, playing games is never cute.

Engin12 · Answer

Thats bullshit. I hate when people make things hard. Its like sending a message to me that I shouldn't be nice to them. What the hell is wrong with easy?

exitseven · Answer

I hate all the games that girls used to play.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Yes, but not all the x! What if you made the Guy think, you didn't like'm!.

BlackJeep · Answer

Play stupid games and win stupid prizes

007kingifrit · Answer

this is so immature

Christoff92 · Answer

Just for security and safety. Yes.

Joker_ · Answer

Agree

Anonymous · Answer

be yourself

Agree or Disagree: It's important to play hard to get when you're interested in someone?

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In your opinion, what is the fine line between playing hard to get and not interested?

Agree or Disagree: It's important to play hard to get when you're interested in someone?

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In your opinion, what is the fine line between playing hard to get and not interested?

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