Are we Both in the wrong or just me?

[Anonymous]

Whenever we hang out ( which is 3-4 times a week), he will say that I never seem happy and never seem satisfied. He will even ask me to smile... I guess I am not happy or satisfied due to the fact that he only has time for sex. On top of that, he is the one requesting to see me 3-4 times a week and if I say I cannot, he will accuse me of going to see my "side guy"( who does not exist). Basically the reason I believe he has ghosted me is because every time we hang out, I am upset with him after.

Since he sees that I am upset, he will ask me to tell him why, I will not. I cannot even get the words out. So, I will leave upset after he pretty much begs me to tell him what is wrong before I leave. I just can't do it. When I finally am able to figure out what is wrong with me, I will text it to him but I get so embarrassed that I will just block him after I send it because I do not know how he responds ( I block him on everything not just Imessage). He has asked me what I like about him twice, I have been unable to tell him. I just sit in silence. He will say that I never seem happy... I will not say anything. He even asked me what I wanted out of the relationship and I said nothing.

I saw him last Tuesday and ended up getting upset because he had to go to the gym with his cousins and once again, I went silent. He said "If you're not happy, tell me." I said nothing for 10 minutes while he drove around to drop me off. I once again text him how I felt and blocked him on everything afterwards. I usually come back and act like nothing happened, so I had texted him asking to hang out and he agreed but I have not heard from him since.

You are wrong

He is wrong

Both are wrong

Updates

10 mo

To be clear, the reason that I am upset is because in the last 3 months, he has taken me out once and ever other time has been for sex. He has said he would love to take me out but has not done it

[nnniiikliddsi]

I just think you should be out right honest about how you feel about the whole thing. Include the fact that you feel like he is using you for sex. But also while reading all that you wrote, it screamed CHILDISH for me. Like, those are some unnecessary shit. You don't have to be smiling all the time in order to know for sure that someone likes you and enjoys your company. I also don't like how he jokes about the side guy. Even if that is actually him joking, I personally would not like that. A joke said once I can take, but if it's repeated.. in my eyes it's not a joke anymore. It's actually what he's feeling and thinking. With regards to what you are doing, I don't agree that you keep on blocking/unblocking him. That also screams childish behavior for me. And it also shows the lack of communication you have between you two. Stay with yourself for a while and figure out what it is that you actually want out of the relationship. It seems like both of you are not doing things to help your relationship. It's like you vs him, when it should be you and him against the problem.

[reds-noro]

Get over it and tell him. Whether it is to his face or not, just tell him. Don't block him. Just press send and don't touch your phone for a while. Just leave it somewhere out of sight. For as far as he is concerned he isn't the problem. You cannot expect him to figure everything out himself when you don't even give him a proper clue.
It's probably incredibly frustrating for you that you act the way you do. Maybe seek help from a therapist, not some stupid website. Pretty sure professionals can help you better than all of us combined.

[lightbulb27]

when you do tell him, does he understand and respond?

We'll, you are wrong mostly, and he is wrong secondly.

You can't expect people to read your mind and you need to be able to:

A) hold boundaries to get what you want, otherwise others will run you over

B) Communicate, while managing your emotions, and resolve issues. Obviously you are a flood of bad emotions as you ignore your needs and he tramples all over you.

C) Have the self worth to walk away

He is failing in that you have shared your issues and he has not responded and continued having his needs fulfilled while ignoring yours.

In short, this is an opportunity to grow up, develop self worth esteem, and learn a bunch of skills and heal some old wounds. It's train wreck in slow mo. I hope to god no offspring shows up. This is another example of why traditional values are better, to at least avoid these issues.

[Iron_Man]

Too much immaturity, you have to work things out and compromise. If not, you won’t last. No blocking

[boobliker]

quit it with him and find another PDQ