Do guys still ask girls to be their girlfriend after a certain age, and if so, how do you know you’re “status “?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with the same guy for almost five months. He treats me well and we have a good time together. We’re comfortable around each other’s friends — sometimes we go out with other couples on group dates but we really love spending time with just each other. I feel stupid for letting this bother me but I’m confused about why he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. He’s the first guy I’ve been involved with since graduating college -and he’s a few years older. Do things change as far as dating after the college years? Is there no official “ask” ?

Updates

10 mo

I agree 100% with everyone who says I should just ask him. Yes, I know communication is key and I am not usually shy about saying what I think.

The reason I asked this question is because this is my first relationship after graduating college and starting out in the grown up world. Just like when I first moved away to college, there was a learning curve and nobody wants to look stupid

[glennos89]

If you wanne know your guys current dating status just ask him if you can call him your boyfriend straight up. Communication is key in any relationship and the way I see it is that you should level up your communication skills.

If you wanne know something... Talk about it!🤷‍♂️

[Losalt]

What exactly do you *want* from the relationship?
What kind of relationship terms do you*need* to be happy?

[Asker]

I'm happy in this relationship and I'd love for us grow even closer. But I know myself well enough to understand that if I feel insecure or unsure about the status of our relationship I won't be happy long-term

[Losalt]

I'm not talking about the status.

[Losalt]

When you say girlfriend that implies a set of conditions, like exclusivity.
I'm asking you for those exact terms.

[Losalt]

For instance if you love him is what you need a safety in knowing that he won't just end the relationship overnight for instance?
Is it that you don't want him to have sex with others?
Is it that you don't want him to catch feelings with others?
What would be cheating to *you*?
What actually matters to *you*?

[Losalt]

Basically I suggest sitting down, having a noncommittal conversation where you just let him know about your feelings, then leave it to him to figure out what he'd like to do with it.

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, just ask. That never goes away. Why risk misunderstanding if you truly love that person?

I have that talk whenever I feel things are getting sexual, because that lets me know if I need to be exclusive or not.

[TheNurse]

I just had a married man ask me to be his girlfriend... I said no of course. What would that even do?

[Asker]

LOL! Is being a married man's girlfriend better or worse than being a mistress?

[TheNurse]

Same thing as far as im concerned haha probably 1 of many "girlfriends"

[OlderAndWiser]

Did you ever have a discussion about dating each other exclusively?

[Asker]

Not those exact words but very early on in the relationship I made it clear that if I'm in a sexual relationship with someone, he's the only one and I expect the same from him. We both on the same page as far as that issue. Obviously, dating and having sex are not the same thing though

[Anonymous]

I’ve never understood why women feel the need to “label” a relationship. It’s always “what are we?”

“Well, we spend all our time together, sleep together, eat together, and do things together, but if those things aren’t important to you I guess we can talk about what to call “this.””

[ProbablyClueless]

That should never go away. Defining a relationship, particularly a sexual relationship, is one of the most important conversations two people can have.

[slatyb]

I've never asked a woman to be my girlfriend. When we were seeing each other regularly, and no one else, then she was my girlfriend and vice versa.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I do. I give her a rose and ask her to be my girl. I'll never stop doing it, even though most girls are turned off by it

[WanderingLoveWizard]

But I didn't do it for them, I did it for me. I liked it... I was good at it

[OddBeMe]

Honestly it can go unspoken. If you trust neither are cheating, spend most your time together, you’re dating. Seriously.

[Asker]

That’s the vibe I’m feeling.

[OddBeMe]

You’re probably good then. Why bother having a convo when you can just fck. :)

[Guido]

Tell him you love being his girlfriend and see what he says.

I am old school in that if I took a woman on a date and asked her for a second date, I never asked any other woman out until I no longer wanted to date her.

[2rushbiOV3]

I mean, yeah…. Unless of course you’re asking her to be your wife. You’re perfectly within your rights to ask him what your status is.

[Anonymous]

If you've already been intimate with him, then unfortunately, it probably won't matter what you ask him...

[Asker]

What do you mean? Why would it matter whether I’ve been Insta ek

[Opinion Owner]

Why would the most intimate act two people can do on the entire planet... that can result in new life, a new family and a new generation matter?

[Asker]

Can you explain? Why wouldn't it matter what I ask him?

[Opinion Owner]

A man will look and observe to see how a woman treats sex. In general women are the gatekeepers of sex but men are the gatekeepers of relationships, marriage and commitment. If you, as a woman allow such intimacy with no commitment then a lot of guys will either never commit to you, some will not take you seriously, and you will probably not be seen as relationship or girlfriend material... but seen as casual fun.

Put it this way. If you met a man that fell in love and committed to almost any woman he met, or married any woman he met without any sort of depth or him looking to see if she was marriage material before marrying her, would you take him seriously if he proposed to you? would it feel special?

[LiamJHayden]

You need to clarify with him to at least see if you are exclusive. I've seen lots of people assume it, only to be disappointed.

[Asker]

We are exclusive. I

[sheikalana]

Nah. I just became his girlfriend he never had to ask me to be his girlfriend.

[DextroShade]

You have to ask him for commitment, because while women are the gatekeepers of sex men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

[mommymommymommy]

Because unless you're seeing other men, it wouldn't be necessary. Does have to fear that you're seeing other men right now?

[Christoff92]

Back in high school guys would start dating girls at 14 and up. Kids gotta be like adults and experience love 🥰

[In_Trance]

I think women, generally speaking require this validation where men don't

[Asker]

Yes!

[KrakenAttackin]

No. She needs to be the one to ask, otherwise it's like he is handing over his cock.

[MissBoogus]

I don’t know but you just have to ask

[legalboxers]

I never did... -shrugs-

[CallmeTheKnight]

Just ask him