If I'm not in a relationship or married by a certain age, am I defective?

[Korvustheraven]

I'm 26 years old, turning 27 in a few months. I've had a handful of sexual experiences, but nothing that resembles an actual relationship. Looking at my friends list, people I've graduated high school with, they all seem to be in happy, fulfilling relationships and I'm just falling behind. Maybe I'm presenting myself with the illusion that they're happy, because I have to keep reminding myself that it's seldom what it appears to be on the surface, but I feel like I'm an anomaly because it just never happened for me.

You could say it's out of jealousy, and I'd say you're correct; I *am* jealous. I don't demand that these things happen to me, but I question whether or not there's something wrong with me, and if there is, I really don't know what. I tend to avoid the dating sites and apps (Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, etc) because if I get any message at all, it's "Do you buy content?" which I take as a personal insult because that tells me that the only thing I'm worth to other people (especially women) is the money I give to their Onlyfans page.

I understand I'm not the ideal image of a man, I also understand that I'm not very interesting and I just live a boring life of going to work and coming home. Some of you might suggest I attend an event, but I find it hard to make conversation (Being neurodivergent and all) so my question is, am I simply defective and is natural selection taking its' course on me, being unmarried and childless?

[beautyjoyfover200]

First of all please stop talking down on yourself. Why? Because I bet your freaking amazing!!


I totally understand the feeling of loneliness and when it’s going to be my turn to be in happy relationship while I see my friends and classmate getting marry and having kids but all I do is work and go home.


I think about it a lot if by this certain time of my life I should be in a healthy relationship with myself and partner but the patient thing is killing me! I feel like we have to be patient because we are a lot, meaning we get what we want. We have goals for ourselves and know what we want so to find or met that person they have to meet up to our standards or above. The guys that we met from hang outs and hook ups are not for us and definitely learn a lesson from it.


I believe there will be someone one day that definitely worth the wait and enjoy the happy and healthy moments for each other.

[artgorgeous]

Your advice won't help. Give practical advice. He needs to go to other country and find himself sane woman who lives in reality.

[beautyjoyfover200]

And you think finding someone in another country will change everything? Where did you meet your sane woman from? Did you hunt her down only for her looks or to see you can control her for you own ideas on what reality is?

I’m just telling this dude not to give up and not to settle for something less and not be happy about it. Is that not practical enough for only YOU?

[artgorgeous]

what kind of advice is that? It's the same thing as - you need to just wait and it happens by itself. No, it does not work like that. It requires a lot of effort and energy, especially for men.

[beautyjoyfover200]

Well I’m just saying from a woman’s perspective. So now I guess I’ll say get your ass out there and just find someone … right or wrong I don’t know anymore lmao

[Korvustheraven]

I literally do not understand the passport bros. 300 million people in this country (America) and we're all subject to the same fate it seems, regardless of gender. I never wanted to screw around and have endless sexual flings but that puts me right into the minority these days because nothing seems sacred anymore. That's why I'm gonna leave it up to God at this point; Doesn't stop it from hurting but it is what it is i guess.

[artgorgeous]

That's exactly what's wrong with your advice. Because women can literally sit on their asses, doing selfies and get like 100 men next day - no problem. That is why your advice is only works for women. It does not work for men unless they are Chad's.

[beautyjoyfover200]

That’s what I’m saying korvustheraven, these days it’s not what we thought grown up thinking it will be like in movies and have a fairytale ending not all 300 million people is going to experience that and we’re one of them lol so either continue the sexual fun ( which is fine but can be boring) and see who takes the bait or leaving in the hands of your faith and chill with it. Yeah It sucks but so much can be done until you realllyyy do something about it.

[beautyjoyfover200]

…… no but okay like men don’t do the same and have thirsty traps from women. You don’t have to be a chads (which are the losers one tbh) to get attention. If you are your own person and have a good vibe to you that’s good enough. Maybe it is where you live and no see it.
Don’t dare make women as lazy because their pretty and you can have them. Grow up.

[artgorgeous]

Lol women even dont give a chance to most men to show their vibes. Women are lazy, period. Can't (and dont want to) do anything nowadays, even cook.

[beautyjoyfover200]

Ewww now everything is making sense lol

[artgorgeous]

Eww what? Can you even cook? the simplest skill any human can have.

[Korvustheraven]

I can't exactly "continue the sexual fun" it's against my religion, which makes this problem even worse.

[artgorgeous]

Then try maybe try finding a religious girl. They at least have manners and more down to Earth.

[Korvustheraven]

@artgorgeous Yeah, like Christian Mingle or CatholicMatch isn't going to be a ripoff in and of themselves.

[artgorgeous]

just go to church and try making a small talk to girl you liked.

[lightbulb27]

I was in that run, I know guys still in that rut.

I'd make an assumption that early life experiences (trauma, training, conditioning) cast you into a direction where you avoid relationships or didn't learn the skills to create one.

Some people are just slow learnings and slow to develop.

you are right not all is pristine in others lives. others have their emotional motivations.

[artgorgeous]

No, man, it sucks. I feel you and young guys nowadays. Maybe you should just become a passport bro. Women today just lost their sense of reality.

[Korvustheraven]

Everybody says to be a passport bro but where the hell would I even go? Poland?

[artgorgeous]

Why not? Have you ever travelled in your life?

[Korvustheraven]

I've never been outside of the state.

[OlderAndWiser]

I didn't get married until I was 32 years old.

[DarkWinterNights]

Yeah but that’s the norm now, if not the outlier in the opposite direction. I only know one person personally in their 30’s that is married.

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

I'm 31, autistic, virgin, slow starter. Same boat as you but worse.

You're not defective. You're just going about your life differently. If you've played Pokemon, I tell people that I'm a Dragonite / Tyranitar: it's taking forever for me to finish evolving, but I'll be worth it at the end.

Natural selection tries to cull us, yes, so we have to combat and overcome it.

[slatyb]

No, you are single. Do you want a partner?; What are you doing to meet one? You aren't going to meet them say your home. How many women do you great by name?

[OfMiceandMen]

Not at all. Just means your smart and took the time to find the right person. Marriage is till death due you part (if you take it seriously), so take your time and be sure.

[Anonymous]

Guys do not come into their prime until their 30's, before then they are usually concentrating on their education/career so there is no need to fret, but when you have resources and they type of girls that would not give you the time of day in the past suddenly start showing you attention, be warned they are most likely looking to 'settle' and love will have little to do with them choosing you.

[boobliker]

Don't take this the wrong way, but stop looking for the right partner and enjoy yourself first if someone comes along then don't stop enjoying yourself but bring them into - - so you can enjoy things together, and just be your self...

[Korvustheraven]

It's just been difficult to convince myself that it's okay to be alone, that companionship doesn't matter.

[boobliker]

go to a new town at weekends and meet new people, I live in the UK and 2 or 2 towns over are a lot of new people. so I would take a week off and try a new town and soon find people to take me in stay two or three nights with them find a girl to be with, with them and then go home with the memory never take photos or swap numbers but say good-by and see you soon that way if you liked it you can go back.

[boobliker]

enjoy your life with your self love your self and be your selff.

[Ironic_Method]

Nah. There's probably a bunch of people you're compatible with out there, the hard part is being lucky enough to meet them. You can increase your chances by always doing some self improvement and putting yourself out there and dating.

[In_Trance]

Could be