What can I send guys as a first message on dating apps?

Question

No weird cringe worthy jokes, just a normal first message. I want them to lead the conversation if they respond

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

I ignore all generic messages. If you want a response, show you read what the person wrote by sharing how specific words impacted you. You don't have to totally expose yourself, but without any vulnerability, you'll come across as cold and distant.

"The words you shared were very uncommon, and that drew me in, especially when you focused on wanting to see things through my eyes rather than promoting your own agenda."

"Talking about valuing connection over performance hit home for me."

"Creative people tend to add new dimensions to experiences, so I became very interested when you shared your various artistic endeavors."

"I am also a pet person, as pets are more likely to give unconditional love than humans."

"I find it so odd when people reach out to me and say we're close, when we live thousands of miles apart. I smiled when I realized we only live 20 minutes apart."

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Hey first of all relax take a deep breath and say hello

Tell them that you saw their profile and you're interested read what their profile says

Communicated about things that is in his profile

And if you're waiting for a guy to lead the conversation you might not be going anywhere LOL just be yourself that's the key to everything

I think I've been on five or six dating apps I filled out half of a profile and then I clicked off of it I've never even read anybody's profile so I'm not sure how they're written

If this will help you send me a message on how you would start a conversation I'll just go from there and practice see what see what you got going see how it works if that will help you.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

Think about what you yourself would and wouldn't want to see as a first message. I remember getting, "Hey tell me about yourself" or "Hey how are you?" all too often, and it was such a drag. I saw so much of that that I would just end up ignoring many messages. But every now and then a guy would say, "Oh tell me more about this [hobby] you have" for example. It stood out because it showed they read my bio. Another good one is if they paid attention to something I said like "I have no kids", and asked me if I was okay with them having kids. It would start a conversation.

I would think showing interest in one's bio would work on men too. :) Focus on something that they made a point of mentioning. It shows you have interest in something about them specifically that means something to them.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

The truth is it depends on how many responses you want and the type of responses.

First identify the type of guy you are wanting to attract and then do some research into what it is that attracts those type of guy.

Now, once you find out you also have to determine what personality traits you have that would attract that kind of guy.

The reason I said this is you don't want to just say what they want to hear based on your research. You want to be real and be yourself. They have to be attracted to you because on who you really are not because you said what they wanted to hear.

I hope that made sense.

Good luck :)

AviatorTom · Answer

"Hi, I like your profile" is a good start.

ManOnFire · Answer

Ask them something about what they put in their profile, that generates good conversation. Ask them what they're looking for in a partner.

Contrary to what a lot of people think, starting a dating site convo based on something that is actually relevant and not just goofy small potatoes is a good first impression, especially if it's about what's on their profile. It shows that you're paying attention and read what they wrote and you're seriously interested in knowing more.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Try reading their profile and asking about something they mentioned. E. g., if they said they are into classic rock music, ask them if they have been to any concerts recently.

Don’t use s as canned, generic, osfa answer.

Avicenna · Answer

Ask them about something you found interesting in their profile

Summeroflove · Answer

What comes to your mind. If not. Just shoot a hey message.

coachTanthony · Answer

Apple or Android? works like a charm.

BCRanger10 · Answer

How much detail do the profiles on these sites and apps you're using go into?

I'd say start the message out with a simple introduction, just a "Hi, (his name). I'm (your name)". Then tell him you came across his profile, note a few things you found interesting, and then say you'd like to message with him some more and know more about him.

I was on a dating site for Catholics before I met my wife. This one girl messaged me once and noted that I had "God's sense of humor". So I wouldn't be shy about adding something like that, some personal touch. Or if there's a quote from a TV show or movie you both like or some other obscure pop culture reference, you could add something like that as well.

One girl said she appreciated a sharp-dressed man (or something along those lines; I'd had a suit on in one of my photos).

Basically, express a curiosity about him, tell him a few things in his profile that you liked, and invite him to chat some more.

BadApple69 · Answer

Well even though you want him to lead you have to give him something to work with….

Example:
Hi Bob, my name is XXX. I saw your profile and really liked the fact that you like camping and hiking. Those are things I like too. *****you can stop there if you like****
Or add more about you.
I am a big fan of classical music and enjoy romantic comedies. What type of movies do you like?

Ending with a question gives the guy a reason to respond. Keep it simple but guys can be stupid, so you need to give us a starting point. Good luck!

Lionman95 · Answer

Ask a question about something you find in their profile. I think that´s always an easy start so to have talk about something he´s comfortable with. But avoid question that can be answered with yes or no since you want him to really message in sentences.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

I'm most likely to respond to a message that "gives me something to work with". Show interest either in something from his profile, or tell a few things about yourself so that he has some material to make a conversation out of. Okay, fine, you want him to "lead the conversation", but much like leading when two people are dancing, even the leader requires some participation from the one following.

I have often left conversations with women who put forth little to no contribution; there's no point to that. If I want to talk to a wall, there are plenty. I, and other people who are interesting and have interesting lives and thoughts, get no benefit from a boring person who just wants to be entertained. They can go watch YouTube or death scroll TikTok.

Leading the conversation is fine. Expecting someone to CARRY it, is different.

What can I send guys as a first message on dating apps?

AaronKrieger · Answer

It entirely depends on what app you're using and the person's profile, but in the end I would already start the conversation by talking about something on his profile whether it's serious or sarcastic.

For example, if he is showing a dog or any kind of hobby, then comment on it especially if you like it too. Stating stuff like "Hi, how are you?" isn't awful, but it makes the conversation feel a lot more formal due to it being online and harder for the conversation to turn funny or flirty even a little.

integrale77 · Answer

You have a guy's attention as soon as you message him.
On dating apps from personal experience I might fire off 50 messages and get one reply. So your on for a winner having started the conversation.

I'd say just have enough topics in your profile about likes and interests so he can start a conversation or at least give him something in way of discussion topic in your message.

Problem with some girls profiles on dating sites is they just post pics and age with a nickname for the profile then it's all about guessing something to break the ice... This leads to a somewhat generic sounding message.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

It's not that complicated a simple hello how's your day is good. I think you thinking too deeply into this and trying to hard, forcing it will feel weird and will probably throw them off. When the conversation does take off just speak from your heart.

Constatine · Answer

Uhm ok you want them to lead while your the one sending the first message? That is not how it works.. realy.. if you are interested in someone you take the lead..

This is actually like : you like someone and you just sit and wait for the man to come over and start a conversation.

Now answer to your post.

Iif a girl is interested in me she should be open and honest. She should be able to laugh over her own mistakes and should make fun of it... that shows character i like that 😁

She should mention her name and tell me what made her react to my page.. { hobbies, motorbike or every other link }

She should tell something about her self.. not all and not to much detail... She must be mysterious and give me a reason to break trough that wall of mysteriousness.. 🤭🤭

elizamichale1 · Answer

well first it should be ur bio which should be interestingly written on whatever platform u r communicating to the guys...

n for him try talking about something he mentioned in his bio

if i like someone i usually say it this way...

hey... so n so

i was going through ur profile n i liked it do u mind if we can chat a little specially about... so n so as it interested me more...

it always gets me reply (but i rarely send the first message though... i only do if i really really like someone)

Jersey2 · Answer

Aww, I had a cringeworthy joke as my comment.

Anyway… you could reference something they said in their profile such as hiking. Where do you like to hike, what was the coolest trail you were on, where do you want to hike if you could pick anywhere etc.

Scuba diving, traveling, beaches … whatever they list ask about it and add some of your own thoughts on it.

Notfrommars · Answer

If something in their profile particularly interested you, like they posted a pic of them surfing and you’ve always wanted to go surfing, you could say, “that picture of you surfing is so cool! I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf”

JamesMI616 · Answer

The truth is that you making the first move is enough to get a guy's attention. Dating apps are full of cam girls scammers and catfish. You being real and interested already sets you apart. Besides that I suggest reading their profile and referencing something that he wrote.

CatVader · Answer

stop using dating apps.
1. The guys there are too thirsty due to lack of interest from the females.
2. Neither you nor the guy gets a first impression.
3. If you are not a serious reader, answering someone whom asked specific questions may come out as not having answered the questions/avoiding them and/or not showing actual interest possibly being a scam.
4. The internet and especially dating apps are not a place of honesty.

Giddyup · Answer

I like it when she says at least something meaningful. Better yet something that compels me to respond. Just a like with nothing said or only Hi there and I am not likely to respond.

Doesn't mean it will work, seems the majority of mine have never gotten a response, but it does show that you care in my opinion.

Anonymous · Answer

The GOAT debate -- Michael Jordan vs LeBron James

Favourite video games

Do you believe in socialism or capitalism

Does a kick in the nuts really hurt?

Im kidding, nah, if you notice something in his profile such as cooking or a particular car or maybe he's a Tom Brady fan or enjoys skate boarding or goofy movies I think highlighting a guys interests as a first message stands out. I know guys profiles can be somewhat generic and bland especially with lack of bio info. You could message a guy and say heyy, i noticed you live in the same city as me and think of a popular spot in your city or popular food spot and go from there.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to ask if they could be anywhere in the world where would they be and why. You'd find out how cultured a person was and filter out the ones who just want a f**k buddy. But lately I just did a gif of Forrest Gump waving, accidentally doing a seal pup for the last conversation I ever initiated (I used Bumble) and the rest is history - we've been together almost a year 😊

lavenders · Answer

First of all you obviously start with “hi” not “hey” and “hello” is too formal. Then you wait if he responds back and doesn’t add anything then you say something like how was your day… and based on his answer you can go from there. If you want to go a little deep you could always throw them off and ask a question. Like “what is your favourite thing from your childhood?” “What do you miss the most about your childhood?”
Hope that helps.

royalt86 · Answer

You could literally get away with "This is just a default opener to let you and the app know i'd want to hear from ya if you're so inclined."

Like... flawless execution. Good work Taylor.

It's light, gets the job done, doesn't feel like a completely humanless "hi", keeps the otis where you'd like it (on him) and leaves it open to take it any direction he'd like with an opener :)

ohmyguy · Answer

This stuff. is terrible u. know how much. word bots are used in dating apps. Too much.. they. all use. em. n re cycle ur profile too.
So point is mechignising of this Attentin. grapby stuff make it a nonsenceical.. cause playing games on line ha ha thing.. pic a guy send him a, messege.. better yet your phone # n cut to. the chase

genericname85 · Answer

don't think too much about it. just "hi" is good enough. we know there's a lot of people on these sites and making a bunch of effort for a first text when you're not even sure if they're gonna answer is a waste of time. you should put more effort into the second message tho.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Something that relates to their likes, hobbies etc.

Shark_61695 · Answer

Hi, I'm Anonymous... I saw your profile and I'm interested in philately too. I have a rare 1968 commemorative Dr. Who stamp, what's your favourite from your collection?

Introduction, what made me notice your profile, something about me and asking a reciprocal question to start the conversation.

jshm2 · Answer

Depends on your personality. You could try a joke, a pun on their name, or something interesting from their bio. The game is to get them to interact.

Vegasrunner · Answer

@zeitgeist057 @zeitgeist057 That's an intangible belief that can't be proved. U don't know the "Self worth" of the hypothetical men that will respond. It's simply a way for u to try to validate a false argument. You realize that u can't refute the fact that she will get responses so you attempt to qualify those responses. If we're using antedoctal evevidencw I've had sex w/ close to 300 women and everyone would disagree w/ your POV.

BigDog1989 · Answer

Dating apps are scams

The paid ones, are well, "paid", and are likely not "good"

And the free ones, as they claim, are full of fakes, and people just looking for sex.

I'm not saying going out is much better, but, please, don't use dating apps

YesterdaysChild · Answer

If you can't think of something to say to begin with, then how are you going to think of things to say after he replies?

StormChaser838 · Answer

Don't give any lines, they are all mighty stupid and false. Talk from your heart , but be measured, understand the moment and the medium, be it text or voice. Be warm but not too pleasing. Best of luck.

molonski2 · Answer

Just a general greeting , limited info , " just reaching out " , would you like to read my profile kind of stuff , forget all the generic shit , nothing worse than getting one of those messages.

JosyJosy · Answer

Something you like about them, something that made you want to message them.
If you want them to want to respond... don't be boring. I know, pretty bland advice, but respond with something you would want to respond to.

Paris13 · Answer

"Hi, How are you doing? How long Have you Been on Here?"xx

Anonymous · Answer

Reference thier profile. I'm assuming you took the time to read it (most women don't unfotunately). Most women just look at a guy pics. If you read his profile something should have jumped out at you that piqued your interest. And that should give him fuel to talk about it.

I think your needing him to "lead" the conversation is a little silly. But hey, at least your not so full of yourself you're unwilling to message first.

RyanK9b · Answer

Depends on what you want to achieve. Sex = hey wanna bang? Relationship = do u wanna meet? What are your hobbies, maybe we connect on something? Friends = hey wanna be my friend?

sheikalana · Answer

Something simple like "hey. how's your day going?"

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Just send nudes. She sent me nudes bro!!!

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Neither person should be leading the conversation, otherwise the other person will seem boring. It should be a very dynamic and relatable conversation, If someone has to carry it, it's a bad match.

Sonorous · Answer

Pairing a hi with any questions to get the conversation flowing will always be a good start. Especially if the questions are ones dude love to answer.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Assuming they listed a interest you shared you can go off that. “Hey I seen your a fan of video games and I wanted to know if you’re getting starfield?”

Pacquet · Answer

Simple. Ask them about something written in their profile or ask them where they took a photo. Compliment them on a detail you like in their choices about something. For example if you like their outfit mention what you like about the outfit.

thegreenyogi · Answer

Hi there! Your profile caught my attention. How's life?

Frank62 · Answer

Perhaps tell him you’re interested and would like to know a little more about him. Ask him opinions on key important topics you’re interested in and judge his response

Anonymous · Answer

It would he best if u reply according to his profile, for instance if he put “love traveling”, then u can hit him up first by saying any simple things related to it like “bring me along for traveling”

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I keep things simple like “hope your day went well” or “have a good evening”. Yeah lol I’m boring that way.

Deformate · Answer

I don't think it matters. Its rare for men to get a first message so the genuine ones would probably be grateful.

HighValue · Answer

Tell them that you will pay your own way on the first date and that you believe in prenuptial agreements.

slatyb · Answer

The same sort of thing you would like to receive -- hey, I read your profile and see that you are interested in...

spartan55 · Answer

Whatever you do NEVER just send a "heeeyyyyy" ugh...

eastcoastgirlie · Answer

I get nervous about sending the first message too.  I just say hello and ask him a question about something on his profile. The conversation flows from there. Hopefully that helps.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

If its meant to be uts meant to be. Please don't forced things.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Hi, how was your day? What do you like to do for hobbies? What's your favorite music? Then take things from there.

Anpu23 · Answer

A good question such as what ate you working on right now? Or some such. Don't ask what they are doing, rather what they are working towards...

strateguy632 · Answer

hi i liked your profile. i think we have some common interests, so look at my page.

Lokiion · Answer

Ngl anything like hi, hello, whats up will get ignored. (That’s just for me of course I get it way to often and the conversations usually go the same)

Twalli · Answer

I was usually contacted with a hello, which meant they wanted to talk.

Bricealan · Answer

Oh heck, I was going to be 'cringe worthy" LOLOL

What can I send guys as a first message on dating apps?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Hi, how was your day? What do you like to do for hobbies? What's your favorite music? Then take things from there.

How should I send the first message to the guy I like?

What can I send guys as a first message on dating apps?

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Hi, how was your day? What do you like to do for hobbies? What's your favorite music? Then take things from there.

How should I send the first message to the guy I like?

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