Now I like this guy a lot and I told him I wanted to possibly wait till marriage… I wasn’t all the way honest.. but I would like to be in a committed relationship
I really wanted to know his response bc his response would be telling to me….
I wish he would have just said “I like you but I’m looking for a relationship with sex”…. To ghost just makes me feel some type of way… would he have done the same if we did have sex.
or did he just not like me?
am I overreacting
well it kind of sounds like you're selling yourself a little bit short there..
because when you say I wish you would have told me he was looking to go out and have sex or whatever it is you said... I could feel your energy at that moment and I think you might have given in to him.
those are the guys you have to watch out for because those are the same guys that will get the sex and then ghost you anyway..
and you have to be honest with yourself how long has it been since you've been out on a date with somebody..
and if it's been a while then I understand where you might think about changing your mind or at least getting yourself in something that's committed and then doing it you're giving yourself a lot of freedom there and that's something you have to be careful of too.. and don't listen to me whatever you do I mean you know what you want you know what you need. I can tell you that I would not with a girl who had the same plan as you and we had talked about it and we came up with a good idea and it was a great idea and we are in the relationship for a couple years but she got offered a job and she couldn't refuse and was moving to another state I wasn't going to move.
but we agreed on a way to fix both of our problem and I mean it was one of the best things in the world it was better than sex really and if you DM me I will tell you how to get through it or tell you a way to make each other both happy at the same time and you still get to do what you want to do but think if a lot of people would talk about it that are in this situation there are ways to fix it and that are beautiful but I think you are the lucky one there I think you would have given them to him and he would have left you anyway probably
Most guys’ don’t want to wait til marriage to have sex with a girl , most guy’s won’t marry a girl that he hasn’t had sex with period . What most girls’ don’t understand about most men , is most men want sex , sex is important to most men , it’s how we were made , especially with a girl that he finds attractive and beautiful to his eyes , a guy isn’t going to ask a girl on a date that he isn’t attracted to or Interested in , trust me, he has already thought about her naked in his arms , Some guys’ control their natural instincts better than other guys’ do , but mark my words , a guy isn’t going to take you on a date that hasn’t thought about you naked in his arms. He is taking you on a date to get to know you and hoping you will fall for him the same way he fell for you. But to really know what his true intentions are is something only you can figure out, it’s a 50/50 chance we all take when meeting someone new. , some people ’ just want sex and some people want more than just sex They will say things to keep you interested in them , most guys’ in the back of his mind has already thought about having sex with you if he is asking you on a date and has been investing his time into you , by calling you and keeping in touch with you , Girls’ do this as well. When she shows interest bon a guy. So the fact that he ghosted you was probably because he just wanted to have sex with you , when he heard you say you wanted to wait til marriage , He lost interest in you because he is thinking , he isn’t waiting for marriage to have sex with a girl.
Yea he only want you for sex. That’s what I can’t find a relationship at 26 never had a boyfriend , if I say I wanted a comited relationship all men run away. It hard find a boyfriend. He ghost you because he only want sex
i mean you two were just going on dates, nothing serious. and he probably thought yours and his values didn't line up so is deciding to date others
Opinion
24Opinion
If you read what I post here, I routinely advise women that it's in their best interest to make guys wait a while for sex. Most women won't do this, though, because they know that if they do, they have no chance with the most desirable guys - the ones they most want to be with - because some other girl will give it to him. What they don't realize is that they're never going to get a relationship with that kind of guy anyway.
Having said that, you must also be reaslistic with the fact that most people (women included) don't prioritize marriage anymore, and for men especially, there's good reasons for that. But this means that "waiting for marriage" really isn't a viable standard for women anymore. The AVERAGE woman who marries (and only half do) don't marry until AFTER turning 30, and no man is going to wait that long. As such, to even say that is going to be a turn off to most men, even men who would date you seriously and even eventually consider marriage with you. Waiting until marriage absolutely made sense when girls got married at 16 and when marriage was widely considered to be "forever" and divorce was so rare it was scandalous and only done by Hollywood stars and the rare rich person. Waiting for marriage in 2024 is going to the opposite far extreme as just sleeping around with anyone on the first date - and rarely do you find success or happiness at the extremes.
What I recommend in the future is that you make a guy wait somewhere between 30 and 60 days, or perhaps 6-12 "dates" (even if it's not a formal date), and only AFTER you've vetted him about his morals, values, and life-goals. YES, this process will often lead to the guy losing interest in you - but that's a GOOD thing - it means you identified guys who were just looking for easy casual sex and would have just dumped you or ghosted you afterwards anyway. But if a guy has a much more reasonable time horizon, such as a couple of months (assuming things go well in the meantime), then you'll be able to retain the guys who DO take you serious as a partner but aren't willing to wait multiple years for sex - which is the vast majority of men.
Most women don't do this because they can't handle losing a guy they find really attractive - EVEN when they prove that he just wanted her for casual sex. Most women would rather get used for sex than have the guy walk away - which is why so many women have so much emotional damage and "hate men." But you are FAR better off - for many reasons - by eliminating such guys right up front than to sleep with them first and then have him walk away. You feel bad today, but imagine how much worse it would be if you'd slept with him and THEN he ghosted you!
Girls NEED to protect themselves and they NEED to enforce some moral standards, because no one else can do these things for them, and the world certainly won't encourage you to do what's in your best interests. Still, you must also be realistic about your standards - setting your standards dial at either 0 or at 100% is going to be unhelpful. The smart play is finding some middle ground that works best for you.
u "I wasn’t all the way honest" so you are responsible for some of this happening.
Ghosting in of itself is immature, regardless of whether you're a man or woman, and I always urge either gender to just be upfront about something if it's bothersome to them, because all you're doing is hurting the other person who has feelings for you even more than how you think you might be if you'd told them the real reason instead.
That being said coming back to your question, yes, I might get flak for this because I'm always brutally honest in my replies, but it is justified for him to cut ties with you if you aren't willing to offer him sex, and before you start commenting something offensive, let me reiterate that he's at fault here as well.
Believe it or not, a lot of men (and women too despite them not admitting it to anyone's faces) come in relationships for sex being a primary reason, and if they see that they aren't getting it, they lose interest really quickly because they see it as a failed investment. That's why you should always make your intentions clear with the other person before initiating a relationship, instead of getting attached too quickly. Hope that summed it up
If I really liked a girl and we were hitting it off, dating etc., but she suddenly confessed that she was saving herself for marriage, I would move on. I wouldn't waste any more of my time on an exclusive relationship with her.
There is no way I would marry a woman unless we were compatible in every important way, including sexually.
But I wouldn't just ghost her. I'd tell her my reason for backing away from the relationship. The problem with that, though, is explaining my views could be interpreted as an attempt to coerce her into changing her views just to get her to sleep with me. And that wouldn't be my intent.
One of the problems with "saving oneself for marriage" is that some people think that is a way of guaranteeing lifelong happiness. I think that is delusional. What if you discovered that you were sexually dissatisfied and couldn't do anything about it?
If we seemed like a perfect couple and were completely dedicated to each other, but she never desired or trusted me enough to engage in a full relationship, I wouldn't trust her enough to marry her. And I wouldn't even care one bit if she had been in previous relationships. Virginity means nothing to me.
Well you was dishonest with him, as you make him think that you non-virgin, and that you wait unil marriage, while it not really the truth, you virgin and you want a committed relationship, not necessarily a marriage.
The thing with waiting until marriage, if you non-virgin it can make you look like a hypocrite, and if none of you plan to marry anytime soon, it almost like saying that you never have sex with him.
That said, yea he seems like a kind of guy who might have left you even if you gave him sex, and yes he should had gave you a response instead of ghosting, but he likely known that ghosting would hurt you more. Yes you overreacting, you seems to be obsessed with him.
I mean, getting ghosted definitely sucks, but you sort of brought this on yourself by misrepresenting your intentions. This is a situation where the idea that no one owes each other their time is actually relevant. If you weren't really planning on waiting until marriage to have sex, you shouldn't have phrased your comments the way you did.
You didn't tell him that he might not get sex, you told him he definitely wouldn't be getting sex. That represents a major and fundamental incompatibility. Even if he was totally interested in you, you not being interested in having sex was a dealbreaker for him.
Unless someone is rude to you or something among those line, ghosting is never justified. Literally all it takes is on minute to say things aren't going to work and move on it's really not hard. I'm not saying he should have had a long conversation with you about it, but yes he should have just been honest and cleared things up before moving on
Nope, be Godfident and be firm. 'I am waiting to have sex till marriage'. Compromise and regret it down the line, embrace it in the Lord Jesus and see how clearer your mind'll be. He doesn't have self-control? Good for you-next. Keep praying girl, God loves you.
I think ghosting is a shite thing to do, but men and women apparently do it a lot now a days. That said, if he'd been upfront I see no issue with it. He wants something, you want something, they aren't compatible, cut losses and try again. You're both entitled to pursue what your interests are.
Most men are only out to use women. You deserve better.
How many dates did you have? If it was a first date, the other person not calling due to not being interested is not really "ghosting" in my mind as the people do not owe each other anything. If you had gone out several times, then at least a "I do not see this progressing." would be nice.
Justified? Ofcourse - he does not owe you anything - neither do you. Also this...
"I wasn’t all the way honest.. but I would like to be in a committed relationship" - you weret not honest with him but you expecting to have "commited relationship" ... - yeah ok...
Possibly. I'd have to know the interaction between you. It's the sad fact of dating today. Not all men are upfront, but neither are all women. If he felt you wasted his time he might have felt justified in ghosting you.
I don't think anyone should ghost, but the reality is it's going to happen with some people.
Are you overreacting? I do think you're taking it too personal. I'm not going to say you're overreacting. I think getting upset about it does you no good.
No, he isn't, in my opinion. Absconding so quickly only serves to demonstrate his lack of commitment and dedication to the only thing that really, truly matters -- pleasing the female.
He probably did ghost you for wanting to wait. Which is wrong. You should be glad he did he doesn't deserve you. There is nothing wrong with waiting till marriage or till you are in love.
That's very immature and unjustified as with ghosting in general for all but a complete lunatic. Try not to get too hung up on it.
Ghosting is never really justified. It’s within his rights to decide that he’s not interested in a woman who won’t put out. But you have a reasonable expectation of being informed that he’s not interested.
I mean no one is obligated to do anything for anyone it was your choice not to sleep with him and it was his choice to look for sex he’s not obligated to make you feel better you’re not obligated to sleep with him end of story
You sound like you're wanting what I'm wanting out of life, and you're going about it the right way. Forget about that guy and move on.
Playing games... grow up already. If you can't talk about sex you shouldn't have it. For you to presume to know what he thinks and feels is absurd.
