Now I like this guy a lot and I told him I wanted to possibly wait till marriage… I wasn’t all the way honest.. but I would like to be in a committed relationship
I really wanted to know his response bc his response would be telling to me….
I wish he would have just said “I like you but I’m looking for a relationship with sex”…. To ghost just makes me feel some type of way… would he have done the same if we did have sex.
or did he just not like me?
am I overreacting
well it kind of sounds like you're selling yourself a little bit short there..
because when you say I wish you would have told me he was looking to go out and have sex or whatever it is you said... I could feel your energy at that moment and I think you might have given in to him.
those are the guys you have to watch out for because those are the same guys that will get the sex and then ghost you anyway..
and you have to be honest with yourself how long has it been since you've been out on a date with somebody..
and if it's been a while then I understand where you might think about changing your mind or at least getting yourself in something that's committed and then doing it you're giving yourself a lot of freedom there and that's something you have to be careful of too.. and don't listen to me whatever you do I mean you know what you want you know what you need. I can tell you that I would not with a girl who had the same plan as you and we had talked about it and we came up with a good idea and it was a great idea and we are in the relationship for a couple years but she got offered a job and she couldn't refuse and was moving to another state I wasn't going to move.
but we agreed on a way to fix both of our problem and I mean it was one of the best things in the world it was better than sex really and if you DM me I will tell you how to get through it or tell you a way to make each other both happy at the same time and you still get to do what you want to do but think if a lot of people would talk about it that are in this situation there are ways to fix it and that are beautiful but I think you are the lucky one there I think you would have given them to him and he would have left you anyway probably
Yeah I’m glad I didn’t give in to him bc I am attracted to him… not just looks.. it was something else I liked but he played me good or there was no chemistry … I felt he didn’t value me or really like me that much… subtle disrespect and I wish I stood up for myself but I was really wanting to make things work
Him ghosting did cause Great Depression and anxiety but he did give closure eventually
you really wanted it to still work with no chemistry you have to have chemistry that's energy. energy and when you can feel that coming from a person I mean it' will turn you inside out that's one of the most beautiful things about another person is if you can feel that coming from them and they can feel it coming from you that's the person you want to
what in your life anyway I would think I know that's how it works for me
True ig I wasn’t interesting
Me … he only wanted sex
I don’t understand why he would care what my father thinks about the pics I post
yeah that has nothing to do with you and him.. okay so I have a question for you I don't know what kind of pictures you post but you don't have one on here. so now I'm curious on what kind of pictures you post LOL and to be honest I mean it's none of my business either but I'm just curious because you seem like you have a good heart so now you have me curious
He doesn’t matter
I only wanted to be a placeholder until he moved on… he made me feel like he wanted more… or maybe not. He tossed me like i was nothing in the end. How can make someone feel like they’re good enough and then dispose them…
Then had the audacity to say “I don’t want to go on knowing someone in the world is mad at me…” so this is about you and not just caring about how I would feel…
I felt worthless before. That’s why I only wanted to be a placeholder now I truly just don’t care. I’m numb
He destroyed me in a matter of 2 weeks
Most guys’ don’t want to wait til marriage to have sex with a girl , most guy’s won’t marry a girl that he hasn’t had sex with period . What most girls’ don’t understand about most men , is most men want sex , sex is important to most men , it’s how we were made , especially with a girl that he finds attractive and beautiful to his eyes , a guy isn’t going to ask a girl on a date that he isn’t attracted to or Interested in , trust me, he has already thought about her naked in his arms , Some guys’ control their natural instincts better than other guys’ do , but mark my words , a guy isn’t going to take you on a date that hasn’t thought about you naked in his arms. He is taking you on a date to get to know you and hoping you will fall for him the same way he fell for you. But to really know what his true intentions are is something only you can figure out, it’s a 50/50 chance we all take when meeting someone new. , some people ’ just want sex and some people want more than just sex They will say things to keep you interested in them , most guys’ in the back of his mind has already thought about having sex with you if he is asking you on a date and has been investing his time into you , by calling you and keeping in touch with you , Girls’ do this as well. When she shows interest bon a guy. So the fact that he ghosted you was probably because he just wanted to have sex with you , when he heard you say you wanted to wait til marriage , He lost interest in you because he is thinking , he isn’t waiting for marriage to have sex with a girl.
In which I would like to wait but I just said that to test him… but he said on the date that he wasn’t ready for a relationship bc of work which I think that’s a lie…. Bc he did say in the beginning that he wasn’t looking for just sex specifically…. So maybe he wasn't attracted to me
Or he was playing me
Most good men should wait till marriage. There is NOTHING wrong with that.
@TenderFantasy true.. I feel like if he were interested he could have clearly communicated that instead of ghosting… he just didn’t care and he treated me coldly.. bc he didn’t like me enough
In this day and age age , sadly most guys’ will not wait til marriage for sex , because most guys’ don’t want to marry a girl that he hasn’t experienced in bed , I hate to sound negative but sad but true for the most part , mainly from the way this world is today with social media nonsense
If he eventually gave me closure after numerous attempts is that still considered ghosting?
Ghosting is just disappearing out of someone’s life without an explanation or a reason , they just decide to no longer waste their time and energy on you , for whatever reason , I think ghosting is a very selfish childish behavior , that sadly so many people have resting inside themselves. It’s immature and disrespectful , whether you like someone or not , you should never leave someone hanging without giving them a reason especially after you invested time into that person , just because you don’t agree with something they said or didn’t like something they did , it doesn’t give you the right to just walk away and say fuck them , I can’t stand people that have that selfish mindset , but sadly it’s something that occurs more than we like to think , I have witnessed people that were ghosted , go through severe depression and sadness as to why all of a sudden is this person that invested all this time into me and saying sweet things to me all of a sudden disappearing on me? What happened? What did I do wiring? The truth is the non Ghoster did nothing wrong , the Ghoster themselves is wrong , because they are a selfish POS person that only cares about themselves. Sadly this shit occurs in actual relationships as well , when one partner decides all of a sudden they no longer want to be with their partner , they just pack their shit and leave or they tell their partner it’s over , without giving them a valid reason as to why they are leaving. The partner that wasn’t leaving , is left dumbfounded as to why all of a sudden is the love of my life leaving me? It’s because the partner that is leaving , is a selfish POS that only cares about themselves. They can’t be honest because they know they are a POS and can’t admit to being a POS cuz they know they are wrong. Most people have a very hard time admitting they were wrong. Why so many relationships fail and don’t make it the long haul because most people always think they are right for their own selfish actions.
If oeople actually wanted to experience true love and want a relationship to last the long haul , that person will learn to remove selfishness for their partner , the same way they want their partner doing for them , for any relationship to last both partners have to choose each other whether they are right or wrong understanding you can’t always be right , we are not perfect people , we all come from different paths in life and experienced different things in life , we don’t get into relationships to be single, sadly so many people do thinking it’s ok for me to do this but not on for my partner to do , Sorry to say that is a selfish mindset that will get you no where in a relationship, your partner needs to be your top priority over everyone , the same way your partner makes you their top priority over everyone , If not , you are both just wasting your time
Yes, I feel people don’t talk enough about how it really messes up your mental health… I’m so depressed from it… I really didn’t want to live.. it felt that extreme bc I thought he cared enough to at least tell me upfront
Then I realized there were hints
But I liked him so much I just wanted whatever to work out
Yea it can definitely impact someone’s mental health , especially if they invested a lot of time into that person , they they just decide they are no longer interested without a valid reason , My brother is sadly going through this with his ex wife , she just decided she no longer wanted to be with him and gave him no explanation as to why , I lost all respect for her for what she did to my brother , he has been so sad and depressed that the girl he choose to spend the rest of his life with just decided she no longer wants to be married , because she is a selfish pos person , that only cares about herself , I been doing my best to try to help my brother get over her selfish ass , but sadly it hasn’t been easy , and hasn’t been easy for him since he doesn’t have a valid reason as to why she decided to leave , I think people are complete assholes when they can’t give a reason for their own selfish actions. I don’t care if she was cheating on him , or she met someone else , just give him an answer , so he can move on with his life , Why Ghosting can be such a horrible thing to do to someone , people are complete selfish assholes when they do that shit to people period
Yea he only want you for sex. That’s what I can’t find a relationship at 26 never had a boyfriend , if I say I wanted a comited relationship all men run away. It hard find a boyfriend. He ghost you because he only want sex
i mean you two were just going on dates, nothing serious. and he probably thought yours and his values didn't line up so is deciding to date others
We went on one tea date
Opinion
24Opinion
If you read what I post here, I routinely advise women that it's in their best interest to make guys wait a while for sex. Most women won't do this, though, because they know that if they do, they have no chance with the most desirable guys - the ones they most want to be with - because some other girl will give it to him. What they don't realize is that they're never going to get a relationship with that kind of guy anyway.
Having said that, you must also be reaslistic with the fact that most people (women included) don't prioritize marriage anymore, and for men especially, there's good reasons for that. But this means that "waiting for marriage" really isn't a viable standard for women anymore. The AVERAGE woman who marries (and only half do) don't marry until AFTER turning 30, and no man is going to wait that long. As such, to even say that is going to be a turn off to most men, even men who would date you seriously and even eventually consider marriage with you. Waiting until marriage absolutely made sense when girls got married at 16 and when marriage was widely considered to be "forever" and divorce was so rare it was scandalous and only done by Hollywood stars and the rare rich person. Waiting for marriage in 2024 is going to the opposite far extreme as just sleeping around with anyone on the first date - and rarely do you find success or happiness at the extremes.
What I recommend in the future is that you make a guy wait somewhere between 30 and 60 days, or perhaps 6-12 "dates" (even if it's not a formal date), and only AFTER you've vetted him about his morals, values, and life-goals. YES, this process will often lead to the guy losing interest in you - but that's a GOOD thing - it means you identified guys who were just looking for easy casual sex and would have just dumped you or ghosted you afterwards anyway. But if a guy has a much more reasonable time horizon, such as a couple of months (assuming things go well in the meantime), then you'll be able to retain the guys who DO take you serious as a partner but aren't willing to wait multiple years for sex - which is the vast majority of men.
Most women don't do this because they can't handle losing a guy they find really attractive - EVEN when they prove that he just wanted her for casual sex. Most women would rather get used for sex than have the guy walk away - which is why so many women have so much emotional damage and "hate men." But you are FAR better off - for many reasons - by eliminating such guys right up front than to sleep with them first and then have him walk away. You feel bad today, but imagine how much worse it would be if you'd slept with him and THEN he ghosted you!
Girls NEED to protect themselves and they NEED to enforce some moral standards, because no one else can do these things for them, and the world certainly won't encourage you to do what's in your best interests. Still, you must also be realistic about your standards - setting your standards dial at either 0 or at 100% is going to be unhelpful. The smart play is finding some middle ground that works best for you.
He played me good… it’s not that he used flirty words or anything nor has he pushed me for sex… I really just think he didn’t like me on the date and he tried to sabotage it
Or maybe he did just play me so bad that all he wanted was sex
It hurts
u "I wasn’t all the way honest" so you are responsible for some of this happening.
No I’m not
And you are also unwilling to learn from your mistakes. How can you make yourself become a better person if you just respond with defensiveness?
I’m not defensive at all but I did what I had to do to protect myself from a man with bad intentions
If you thought he had bad intentions, why didn't you end the date immediately?
Bc I didn’t want to overreact and honestly I was in shock and denial…
I think he tried to sabotage the date tbh bc he didn’t like me
Ghosting in of itself is immature, regardless of whether you're a man or woman, and I always urge either gender to just be upfront about something if it's bothersome to them, because all you're doing is hurting the other person who has feelings for you even more than how you think you might be if you'd told them the real reason instead.
That being said coming back to your question, yes, I might get flak for this because I'm always brutally honest in my replies, but it is justified for him to cut ties with you if you aren't willing to offer him sex, and before you start commenting something offensive, let me reiterate that he's at fault here as well.
Believe it or not, a lot of men (and women too despite them not admitting it to anyone's faces) come in relationships for sex being a primary reason, and if they see that they aren't getting it, they lose interest really quickly because they see it as a failed investment. That's why you should always make your intentions clear with the other person before initiating a relationship, instead of getting attached too quickly. Hope that summed it up
No you’re totally right. The only reason he’s wrong for ghosting is because I did make my intentions clear since day one when I said I wasn’t looking for anything.. and that I told him we can talk until he moved on to someone else.. he never pushed me but I was quite guarded… I told him my emotional well being is important. I felt like he was patient with me and he wanted to understand me… and I did eventually tell him that I wanted to take things slow
The ghosting part was wrong bc of the things he said and wanted to know about me…. He seemed to “care”.. he wanted to know if I’m emotional… or he said things like I shouldn’t punish everyone bc of something anther person did… I feel like he picked up I may have been hurt from the past… so I feel like him ghosting me KNOWING that I was very guarded and possibly insecure was just another blow
I understand sex is important but on the date he said he wasn’t ready bc he’s not where he wants to be with his job…. Soo what was he looking for when he made it seem like he was open to something serious
I truly think he was trying to make me a side chick or he just didn’t like me and wanted to sabotage the date.
I did end up getting “closure “… a month later
But my point is he did the very thing I was protecting myself from and that’s getting hurt emotionally… I wish he offered some reassurance or just said it’s not going to work out…
If I really liked a girl and we were hitting it off, dating etc., but she suddenly confessed that she was saving herself for marriage, I would move on. I wouldn't waste any more of my time on an exclusive relationship with her.
There is no way I would marry a woman unless we were compatible in every important way, including sexually.
But I wouldn't just ghost her. I'd tell her my reason for backing away from the relationship. The problem with that, though, is explaining my views could be interpreted as an attempt to coerce her into changing her views just to get her to sleep with me. And that wouldn't be my intent.
One of the problems with "saving oneself for marriage" is that some people think that is a way of guaranteeing lifelong happiness. I think that is delusional. What if you discovered that you were sexually dissatisfied and couldn't do anything about it?
If we seemed like a perfect couple and were completely dedicated to each other, but she never desired or trusted me enough to engage in a full relationship, I wouldn't trust her enough to marry her. And I wouldn't even care one bit if she had been in previous relationships. Virginity means nothing to me.
Maybe he rejected me for something more than sex
That he didn’t want to invest if we weren’t going to eventually have sex. He said he has other priorities and he’s stressed with work.. he said he didn’t want to go back and forth because I misunderstand what he says. He said we can check in here and there
He did offer some “reassurance “ by saying “you’re perfect “ “there’s nothing wrong with you “ … “you think differently “ (low insult)…..
In the end I was crying on the phone… I told him I hope he finds what he’s looking for
He told me he hopes I find a man that loves me the way I need/want to be loved.
I don't think "You think differently" was a low insult. I think he just meant that the two of you have different views when it comes to sex. And there is nothing wrong with having different views. It's entirely possible to respect them even if they make two people incompatible as partners.
It sounded like he was being honest. And he thinks you are really wonderful.
I think his views on a sexless relationship are similar to mine.
I explained my reasons in my original comment.
But you should stick to your guns if you are committed to your views. There are some guys who are looking for a girl just like you. I sincerely hope you find happiness and fulfillment.
I think him ghosting me was super rude and hurtful… and on our date he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship bc he’s not where he wants to be…. But it wasn’t like that in the beginning… he thought I might have still wanted something serious even though I told him I was protecting myself.
I think him saying we can check in here and there was hurtful to hear… bc no..
I don’t think he thinks I’m wonderful at all… if he did he would have communicated that.
We both agreed to not being ready… but when he asked me what I wanted on our date I purposely wanted him to tell me first…. Then when I said something similar to him… he said I was just copying him… so I don't know what he wanted me to say fr.
If he said I like you but I would also need a sexual relationship that’s different…
Yeah this hurt bad. I had genuine interest and feelings
One person said he wasn’t just after sex and felt like things just didn’t work out but how he went about it was telling
It's hard to know for sure.
It doesn't really matter, though, because you didn't do anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. So there is no lesson to be learned other than the fact that sometimes things don't work out.
It was rotten to ghost you but it wouldn't have changed a thing if he had broken up in person.
I know it hurts really, really bad to lose a guy that you really like, but don't get cynical or let it change you or stop you from continuing to date and seek a good guy who is right for you. That's just how life works.
It takes a while to learn what a person you are dating is truly like. And that's why you were right to not agree to sex right away. This guy was probably just interested in a sexual relationship and not life-long commitment to a wonderful woman. He would have probably broken up with you eventually no matter what and you would feel even worse.
We all suffer heartbreak but it's all about building character and keeping going until we find the person who is right for us.
So try, try again until you find a guy who loves, adores and cherishes you and wants to build a life together and raise a family.
I think he’s struggling with his sexuality… he’s 36/37….
He follows a trans woman’s explicit page and she lives in the same city…
…… but I still had feelings and I was willing to even work with him and see what was going on. He was someone I truly felt like I could be with
I appreciate it
I’m going to stop hoping he will come back
Thanks
He mentioned that he didn’t like how things started off in the beginning
Well you was dishonest with him, as you make him think that you non-virgin, and that you wait unil marriage, while it not really the truth, you virgin and you want a committed relationship, not necessarily a marriage.
The thing with waiting until marriage, if you non-virgin it can make you look like a hypocrite, and if none of you plan to marry anytime soon, it almost like saying that you never have sex with him.
That said, yea he seems like a kind of guy who might have left you even if you gave him sex, and yes he should had gave you a response instead of ghosting, but he likely known that ghosting would hurt you more. Yes you overreacting, you seems to be obsessed with him.
I’m not obsessed with him but the situation bc I feel hurt as fuck but I’m done.. I’ve let it out
It took me a minute
Yes I agree but I’m smarter than that
I mean, getting ghosted definitely sucks, but you sort of brought this on yourself by misrepresenting your intentions. This is a situation where the idea that no one owes each other their time is actually relevant. If you weren't really planning on waiting until marriage to have sex, you shouldn't have phrased your comments the way you did.
You didn't tell him that he might not get sex, you told him he definitely wouldn't be getting sex. That represents a major and fundamental incompatibility. Even if he was totally interested in you, you not being interested in having sex was a dealbreaker for him.
I just think he wanted to use me and pretended to want more
Could be. I have no idea. But someone ghosting after they told you that they aren't interested in the same things you are isn't exactly player behavior.
True but I feel like he could have just said how he felt
Yeah, and I don't mean to make this a "men vs women" thing, but this kind of thing really does happen all the time when dating women. So I'll try to answer your question by providing that reaction as a reference point. There's never any explanation given; the person just has some weird, random, spazz attack and start freaking out so she shuts down communication.
I'm sure he probably didn't say anything for the same reason that causes women do the same thing. So... whatever on God's green Earth causes fully grown, mentally competent women to emotionally regress to the maturity of a 12 year old, freak out and then emotionally curl up into an unresponsive ball until you go away is probably what's causing this guy to do what he did.
Is it still considered ghosting if I did eventually get closure?
Depends. How did you get closure?
After some attempts
I sent one mature message just explaining to him how much it effected my mental health and I explained how he made me feel safe enough to open up and then he ghosted me… knowing that I’m emotional and anxious
I sent the last message and left it alone.. he ended up calling me shortly.
He said he didn’t want to invest his time if we weren’t going to have sex eventually… he offered some reassurance and said I’m perfect there’s nothing wrong with me.. bc I felt maybe he wasn’t attracted to me bc of how he decided to ghost
I asked him if sex was all he wanted and he said he wasn’t going back and forth with me bc I misunderstand his words ect…
He said he has other priorities and we can check in here and there… (stung a lot)
He said he hopes I find a man who loves me the way I need/want..
Then he did not ghost you, no. Ghosting would be if he didn't communicate.
He did ghost me…. It shouldn’t have taken a month to respond after our date. After multiple attempts
He ghosted
Yeah, but to be fair, he did eventually respond.
Unless someone is rude to you or something among those line, ghosting is never justified. Literally all it takes is on minute to say things aren't going to work and move on it's really not hard. I'm not saying he should have had a long conversation with you about it, but yes he should have just been honest and cleared things up before moving on
Ah also, yeh, if you had sex he would have used it for sex and the worst part is that you'd only get more attached. He didn't care about you just wanted to have some fun and move on once he got bored, so in the log run you've dodged a bullet
I agree and it hurts bc I felt he was genuine
He did offer closure but literally a month after.. after multiple attempts.
@Billlewis i mean I did tell him thank you for the date and I made it home and replied “ me too. thanks for coming out “ 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
But like that shows how attached you get... You really dodged a bullet by not sleeping with him, he would have really fucked with your head.
It's alright you'll find someone who's worth it!
He would have! He really played it cool and incredibly smart in the beginning!
I feel like he was genuine maybe but he just didn’t like me I don't know
Maybe it was more than sex
Nope, he said the things he had to say hoping to get laid. I'm sorry to be so blunt about it, but it's the truth, otherwise he would have not treated you like he did
I agree.. im just saying he played it smart
I told him I was protecting my emotional wellbeing and he said what’s the safest way to talk to you
He said I shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sins
He said I should really take some time to myself before dating bc I was doing too much
I felt like he always used logic and curiosity to my illogical thinking..
He even wanted to stop talking to me bc I wasn’t looking for anything serious and he thought I was… he said he’s not on that type of time… ig bc he WAS looking for something.
Like he wasn’t saying anything too flirty or crazy like “I think you’re the one”… nothing like that
He took initiative and wanted to call… I was the one pushing him away
'Punish everyone for someone else's sins...'. Apparently, your instincts told you not to let him have sex with you, and your hunch proved to be accurate. Many years ago, I had a similar attitude -- if spent ten bucks, I didn't necessarily expect sex that night, but I thought I was entitled to it eventually. Then, when I developed my cuckold tendencies, I shifted my focus exclusively on trying to make sure she had a great time, and I stopped obsessing about sex. My relationships with women have been a hundred times better since then. Sure, guys will say, 'You're just an ass kisser', 'She's using you', etc, but as long as some type of physical intimacy takes place eventually (I service her orally), that's all that matters -- *but* *only* if I successfully bring her to orgasm. A date in which the woman doesn't reach orgasm is an utter failure, in my view, and much more disappointing than not having sex.
@Billlewis I’m a virgin so I really wanted an emotional connection with him first
Maybe if I were active we could have been a thing but I feel like I can’t handle having sex with someone who doesn’t value me or love me… I have attachment issues badly
This here has messed me to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts
He did offer closure and he said that he didn’t want to intvest time if we weren’t going to have sex eventually
I said so sex is all you wanted? … he said he didn’t want to go back and forth bc he said I misunderstand whatever he says
He said he has other priorities and that we can check in here and there.
Nope, be Godfident and be firm. 'I am waiting to have sex till marriage'. Compromise and regret it down the line, embrace it in the Lord Jesus and see how clearer your mind'll be. He doesn't have self-control? Good for you-next. Keep praying girl, God loves you.
Most men are only out to use women. You deserve better.
The scary part is he seemed so genuine… like he was so smart with it
“Most” men are not only out to use women, just the ones YOU are attracted to.
I think ghosting is a shite thing to do, but men and women apparently do it a lot now a days. That said, if he'd been upfront I see no issue with it. He wants something, you want something, they aren't compatible, cut losses and try again. You're both entitled to pursue what your interests are.
How many dates did you have? If it was a first date, the other person not calling due to not being interested is not really "ghosting" in my mind as the people do not owe each other anything. If you had gone out several times, then at least a "I do not see this progressing." would be nice.
I mean based on our talking stage and the things he wanted to know and the things I shared… I feel he did in that respect.
But he ghosted bc he wanted sex to happen eventually..
With no mention of a relationship and then saying he didn’t like how things started off in the beginning.
Justified? Ofcourse - he does not owe you anything - neither do you. Also this...
"I wasn’t all the way honest.. but I would like to be in a committed relationship" - you weret not honest with him but you expecting to have "commited relationship" ... - yeah ok...
I wasn’t because I don’t think he’s honest. I feel like he was just going to leave me eventually after he got it
Ofc I want to have sex with him. I’m sexually attracted to him …. Really bad
When he told me I should listen to my body … whew 😰 but deep down I think he felt like he could do better but was still open to sex..
Truth be told he probably can do better.
Possibly. I'd have to know the interaction between you. It's the sad fact of dating today. Not all men are upfront, but neither are all women. If he felt you wasted his time he might have felt justified in ghosting you.
I don't think anyone should ghost, but the reality is it's going to happen with some people.
Are you overreacting? I do think you're taking it too personal. I'm not going to say you're overreacting. I think getting upset about it does you no good.
I was very upset bc I thought he was genuine with his actions and he made me feel that I was Kind of worth it in the beginning when all I wanted to be is a person he just talks to until he moves on to someone else.
I told him in the beginning that I wasn’t looking for sex or anything serious… but he never pushed or pressured me.. I like that he met with curiosity and logical thinking even when I was being purely illogical and just trying to sabotage things in the beginning
I told him that I was showing him red flags and he agreed…
He does mention a few times that he didn’t like how things started between us. I agree but that was only because I was trying to push him away and I wasn’t looking for anything
I didn’t think I would end up actually being interested.
Look at it this way. Think how bad you'd feel if you HAD slept with him and then he ghosted you. Believe it or not you got of light., I know it doesn't feel that way but it's true.
I had a woman dump me in a similar way and it messed me up for a year. Admittedly I was dealing with deeper past issues and it just brought it all to a head. But the reality is her dumping me was the best thing for me. Feelings are just that, feelings. They're seldom rational.
Ugh I’ve been depressed about it for 2 months.. still struggling to let it and him go… it has affected every aspect of my like.. I started having suicidal thoughts. I was so sad by it. I was just getting over a hurtful situation in the past.
I can almost say i hate him. Bc he made me feel safe enough to open up and said things that made me feel like oh maybe he does like me fr..
Like me telling him that I’m protecting my emotional well being and him asking what’s the safest way to interact with me…
Or him saying I shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sins bc I was so guarded..
Him wanting to know about the things that happened in my past relationships…
Him even telling me that I should really take time to myself before dating…
So like I felt it was genuine guess not
No, he isn't, in my opinion. Absconding so quickly only serves to demonstrate his lack of commitment and dedication to the only thing that really, truly matters -- pleasing the female.
After several attempts he did end up calling almost a month later… he gave closure…
I mean no one is obligated to do anything for anyone it was your choice not to sleep with him and it was his choice to look for sex he’s not obligated to make you feel better you’re not obligated to sleep with him end of story
Not the point but thanks
He probably did ghost you for wanting to wait. Which is wrong. You should be glad he did he doesn't deserve you. There is nothing wrong with waiting till marriage or till you are in love.
That's very immature and unjustified as with ghosting in general for all but a complete lunatic. Try not to get too hung up on it.
Oh I’m so hung up and hurt by it
I'm pretty sure you dodged a bullet as others have said. Hang in there and keep searching and hopefully you'll find someone you like who shares the same values.
Ghosting is never really justified. It’s within his rights to decide that he’s not interested in a woman who won’t put out. But you have a reasonable expectation of being informed that he’s not interested.
You sound like you're wanting what I'm wanting out of life, and you're going about it the right way. Forget about that guy and move on.
Playing games... grow up already. If you can't talk about sex you shouldn't have it. For you to presume to know what he thinks and feels is absurd.
Have you had sex with other men and just decided to make him wait?
No I haven’t had sex with other men I’m a virgin but he didn’t know that
I think he thought I was a ho
Asker... therein lies the problem.
Where’s the problem?
Cause if he thought I was a go that’s OKAY! But I set a boundary with him and told him that I wasn’t looking for sex and that im protecting myself and he really seemed to care.
If he thinks you have given it up to other men but are making him wait, this puts him in the simp zone.
Ohh I was scared to tell him I’m a virgin but o well
He doesn’t value me nor does he think high of me
Asker... a woman's virtue is highly valued by men.
I just have really low self esteem
But he just wanted to use me. Different story…
Asker... find a good man, preserve your virtue for him.
You lied. Justification is different things to different people.
Lied about?
"I wasn’t all the way honest"
You admitted to lying right there.
I wanted sex and doesn't want to deal with women who talk about marriage.
Correction:
He wanted sex and doesn't want to deal with women who talk about marriage, but I would block you as well.
He just wanted sex. You did nothing wrong.
I asked him if that was all he wanted and he said he didn’t want to go back and forth bc I misunderstand what he says… in the beginning he said he wasn’t looking for sx specifically
He lied. He definitely wanted a relationship with sex. No sex was a deal breaker.
Right a sexual relationship
@hollyk21
What is ghosting? I am 63 and never heard of such.
Ignoring someone as a way to reject them or avoid an awkward conversation
Why was she ugly? He def gave me the cold shoulder
I think that’s a asshole move
Yeah… after 3 months I still feel like shit and still think about him…
It really hurt because I was so guarded up and I thought he talked to me in a way that was so masculine and understanding
But if he feels he can do better then what can I do.
ghosting is never justified
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