How do you cancel a date without being rude?

Question

I have a 3rd date this Saturday evening, but I am invited on a Birthday Party, which I forgot and I can’t skip it, because I was invited there much earlier than on my date.  It’s still two days earlier before date, so is it rude to reschedule it now?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Owwf. As a guy I would just assume you're dodging me. Here's the thing, how much does this guy mean to you if you're going out for a third date? I would say you do have feelings for him. You are a grown adult woman, you can make your own choices. But if you want my sound advice, if you do not want any drama/tension/heart break. Do not tell him you have a birthday party to go to. He will assume that this birthday with friends means more to you then seeing him. Just say that something with family came up. However, you have to reassure him and say, I reassure x-name_________, I will reschedule and I want to see you even if that means you throw in that you will offer to pay for dinner or something. That way he can respect your life of what you have to do, but also being clear with him by communicating and reiterating that you still want to see him. Make sure you don't do this in the future. Im not saying you did this intentionally, mistakes happen but that's how I would go about. Again, make sure you reassure him you will meet up and even suggest where to go and on what potential day to meet again. I can't stand girls who are vague when they talk, gotta be clear, hope this helps.

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

As for honesty it’s the best policy & being open as well as honest is the best way to go. As for C. R. S (Can’t Remember Shit) it does happen to all of us but when you do remember things that is when you have an O. S. M (Oh Shit Moment).

As for you you’re in a pickle & as of the moment you have a birthday party to attend which you were invited to first as well as a third date to attend & if you are unable to be at two places at once you need to do something about it instead of putzing around.

If truth be told the second you remembered you had a birthday party to go to you should of been on the phone talking to the person you have a date with to reschedule.

Stop Putzing Around or you can kiss your third date goodbye.

Altheavas · Accepted Answer

Just be honest, explained and then cancel, plain and simple.
Or maybe you can be a little bit courteous by showing you actually cared, so you invite him on a date instead. Ask him the best time that works for him, you’ll choose the location for the next date! You may choose to pay for the date too, or if he is gentlemanly enough he won’t let you pay…!

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

What time is the birthday party? Try to see if you can still make it to the date without rescheduling. Two days ahead of schedule is not rude. Just be honest with him and try to see when HE IS available.

coachTanthony · Answer

It's rude but it is what it is. You basically tell the truth, ask for a rain check and most importantly... the most important is offer up two other days that you are free for him to choose from. More then not they will choose one of the two days.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Invite him to the birthday.

explain the meeting was way before and you forgot and you would want to go with him in honesty and you think the third date is a plus but you’re not the type to cancel on previous engagements that was made or the type to really just skip a birthday that’s not something that can be rescheduled.

Include him. 🤷‍♀️

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Have you considered asking the birthday party host/ hostess if you can bring a plus one?

Then instead of cancelling, you can merely say there's been a change of plans and how would he feel about a birthday party instead?

Everyone's happy!

milknhoneyy · Answer

"Rude" is too subjective a thing to put a lot of energy into worrying about. If you are honest, sincere, mindful of the other person's feelings, and not deliberately hurtful... that's really just about all you can do. And in my opinion it is enough. At some point, perceived rudeness is on the perceiver.

rosemilk · Answer

explain the situation, that you forgot about a birthday party that you already agreed to previously to be at and can't miss. you'll risk being rude to your friend if you don't. and i'd rather risk being rude to a 3rd date that i don't know too well yet

if the date doesn't understand, then that's his problem

Fireguy17 · Answer

just let them know what happened and reschedule.
I was at a major fire once and I knew that I would be there for an extended period of time, so I called her when I had a chance, told her what was going on, she could hear the sirens, radios in the background, and watched the news and there I was.
I was forgiven.
It happens, they should understand.
If not, it may have not been the right person for you.

slatyb · Answer

No, these things happen. Not a problem unless he has already paid for something that is non-refundable, like tickets.

BadApple69 · Answer

Be honest. I forgot I have a b-day party… I’ll have to reschedule.

Simple as that.

Since you are discovering who this guy is it’ll be good information for you to see how he handles disappointment. 😊

genericname85 · Answer

it becomes more rude the closer it is to the date. for me personally, the person who cancelles is the one responsible for trying to make a new appointment. i won't keep running after you if you cancel on me. i wanna see that you want it at that point.

Mangospacho · Answer

Just bring him to the birthday party. Even if he doesn’t have an invite, it’ll be a nice surprise for your friend who has the birthday and then you can introduce him to everyone at the party as “your boyfriend”. It’s a win-win.

But, really, it’s okay to reschedule your date for next Saturday. It’s not the end of the world. Plus, if he rages out on you for this, then you know he has anger management issues and you found out in less than 3 dates

DJB72 · Answer

If you reschedule not just cancel it's fine, just let him know why and that you're looking forward to seeing him again

scooogy · Answer

I just opted out at the point where she couldn't stop sticking to her phone, asking questions which would have led the whole thing into me not only accepting her kid's dad but who knows maybe also impregnate her. I've heard of such scenarios, that ended up with 6 kids of 6 dads, some growing up relatively retarded. Nope, I'm out.

BCRanger10 · Answer

You're not canceling, just rescheduling. Just tell the guy that you forgot completely about this party and then  set a firm time, date, and place.  Or ask your friend if it's okay if he comes along.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

No. Fess up and reschedule. Make sure you emphasize how excited you were to get to three, you forgot about your friend, and schedule for as soon possible after.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

he probably will know better what is rude to him. Just talk to him.

shafiya · Answer

I would say, explain him the situation really calmly if if he wanted to, he will reschedule, If he not that kind enough to do that, then it’s good for you.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Sounds like you still want to date this guy, right? It’s not rude if you are honest to tell him you got other plans. Just ask to reschedule. That’s not rude. He will get it.

DevikaButts95 · Answer

Tell him exactly why you need to cancel the date, offer a time to reschedule it to show you're interested in rescheduling.

JacobJordan · Answer

You inform them that you have a prior commitment and that you would like to reschedule for x day. Make sure you give a new day otherwise it is open ended and THAT is rude.

sheikalana · Answer

Apologize and Just say that you have to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances but you'd like to reschedule for another date and tell them when you're free to meet again. Simple.

bobalife · Answer

Honesty is best policy. Genuinely apologize. Offer another couple days to reschedule and choose the dates to still show interest. Goodluck :)

Paris13 · Answer

If you Really Want To Go To The Party, Tell Them I am sorry I nearly Forgot another Engagement. Can He Tag along? xxoo

exitseven · Answer

You need to do this sooner rather tht later. Explain the situation and apologize and hope for the best.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not rude at all. I would take the party any day.

Dongie · Answer

Take him with you. Unless you no longer want to see him. But if you do and for some reason can't bring him along just give him the facts.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Cancel how you would like it to happen to you as well.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

Explain and say you’ll go with him next week

laly520 · Answer

explain to him why u want to cancel it then apologize

Keith469 · Answer

Don't cancel ask if you can reschedule and tell him the truth.  The truth is you really want to see him again then mention that truth also.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Tell the guy exactly what you posted here. If he is a decent guy he will understand, especially if you suggest another day/time for a date.

OddBeMe · Answer

I love canceling last minute. Nothing gives me more pleasure…

Rangers · Answer

Why not change plans, and take him to the birthday party?

DreamLife7 · Answer

Then just say that. Like I don't understand why women can't carry out the simplest task. It's like you guys have brain rot

nawtee_me · Answer

Can you take your date with you to the party? A plus one?

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

If he truly likes and cares about you, he will understand.

Anonymous · Answer

New date lol? Every week you have a new date 😂

spartan55 · Answer

Well do you want to reschedule or cancel?

Anonymous · Answer

say that what it is. I have to go to birthday party.

MsBrie · Answer

Just tell him you have to reschedule.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Just reschedule. Thats not rude at all

butterly248 · Answer

Explain, reschedule and apologise 🩷

Awantika03 · Answer

Tell him clearly

Anonymous · Answer

Come up with some excuse

dustybiker2 · Answer

Honesty

Anonymous · Answer

Just don’t be rude, lol.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Honesty 🤷‍♂️

Pennywise_6 · Answer

Just tell him.

jack1924 · Answer

Tell the truth

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Be honest

How do you cancel a date without being rude?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How do you cancel a date without being rude?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.