If a woman tells a man that he should take her to dinner sometime does that mean she’s interested or looking for free meal?

[coachTanthony]

Interested

Free meal

[MrOracle]

I don't do dinner dates for first (couple of) dates unless it's someone I've known for some time and have been able to vet her. There are just too many women who aren't sincere in their intentions and are just looking for free meals and attention/entertainment. If it's a person I don't know, then getting to know them is the priority, and so maybe we'll get ice cream or something and we'll go to a park, or take the dogs for a walk, or something like that, where we can talk. If that's not acceptable to her, then it's better I find that out up-front, because we wouldn't be compatible.

I have no problem paying for dinner dates, but that's for someone who has shown to be sincere and on the same page as me. That's not typically something that's true on a first date.

[coachTanthony]

Maybe what she is saying isn't literal... it's an undertone suggestion and flirtation stating... hey stupid ask me out already or get lost.

[MrOracle]

I would assume that, most of the time, if a woman is telling a man to take her to dinner, that they have some kind of pre-existing relationship already, even if they don't know each other all that well. Perhaps a co-worker from a different department who you only see occasionally, or someone you've seen a couple of times at a bar or restaurant or grocery store or whatever. Not many women would be bold enough to say this to a total stranger.

[coachTanthony]

It would be up to the man to vet her properly before doing such an act if question was purposed. Too many men are hard up and wouldn't slow anything down to do their due diligence anyway. They would get robbed for a free dinner then go complain about it on the internet.

[MrOracle]

Yes, and they have only themselves to blame.

I'm not what you'd call an "active dater" - I much prefer relationships and I target my interests, but I still don't let myself get taken advantage of when I'm single. I learned that lessen well as a much younger man, and I adjusted accordingly.

[Caroline91]

ICE CREAM…perfect first date.

[MrOracle]

@Caroline91 Right? Most of the women I've ever dated have loved that - several said it was the best first date they'd ever been on. But there are women who would reject an "ice cream date" and expect to be taken to a 5-star restaurant for dinner and drinks - at a minimum. And the vast majority are neither young enough or hot enough to warrant such demands, but they've spent too much time on TikTok and convinced themselves that they deserve it. I'm MORE than happy to let some other man try to make that type of woman happy - I have no interest in doing so.

My girlfriend is happy for a week after a trip to Cold Stone, though, or to her favorite bakery.

[Caroline91]

You know, I wouldn’t let a man take me on a date like that until we had gotten to know each other well bc I would anticipate he might expect “payment” in return, which is never gonna happen. However, if he took me for a couple of ice cream or coffee dates and I wanted to make sure he knew I was interested, I would reciprocate with a picnic lunch somewhere with really good people watching and we would make up stories about the people going by who one or the other of us found interesting, including full dramatic dialogs with different character voices and sound effects. That would tell me a lot about how his mind works. That’s my idea of real fun.

[MrOracle]

It would seem that you understand what a real relationship is. Too many (including some men too) only care what they get. The TikTok girls only want attention, status, and a wallet, not a men or a relationship. If I was single, I would be looking for a woman like you instead.

[Caroline91]

@MrOracle Wow, thank you! That makes me feel better bc I have been taking a bit of a flack from several men on this site for some of the ideas I express here. I can't for the life of me understand why it is necessary to be rude and discounting on the part of either men or women. There's a reason you're not single!

[SixFootSexy]

Personally, I think a first date should be low investment for a man. I pick something simple like a coffee date or a walk in the park, you are vetting her personality and value systems. Unless you're just looking for a hookup, then do whatever.

The reason being, a lot of women will try and get a free meal, so unless you really feel strongly about her being a catch, don't invest much the first time or two you go out. The more needy you portray yourself, the less attracted she will be.

Women want a man who satisfies their hypergamous nature, he must be taller, stronger, wealthier, superior, etc. They will verbalize that they want equality all day long, but just watch their actions, they always choose a much better man if they can.

[coachTanthony]

If you properly vet her to begin with that shouldn't happen.

[SixFootSexy]

Tough to do that if you're not able to have extended conversations prior to taking her out. But generally I agree.

[sage2021]

I don't know where guys get the idea that women can't feed themselves.
What do you think they do - sit at home and thinkin "Gee, I feel sure feel hungreee. I think I'll call up Joe and see if he feels like paying for a free meal for me".

No, she can feed herself! She always has and always will.

If you want to talk about free, it's men who want things for free like all kinds of sex he can get from a woman.
What you need is a frickin prostitute but you know where you can get it for free! You just use women to make your semen deposit, and it doesn't matter which woman, you gotta get that white stuff out of you!
So, don't think a woman needs a free meal when it's you that wants free sex!

[DishLady]

"A free meal" isn't quite how I'd look at it.

A woman is going out with a man... She's gonna look good. Sprucing for an evening out takes time, effort and a good bit of money (the outfit, warpaint, hair, etc.). Usually the girl gets all decked out only to meet a guy who looks at best like a "Ted Mosby" (How I met your mother)... Now possibly yes that girl is expecting the guy to kindly offer to cover dinner. There are other expectations (like nice conversation, ambiance, blah blah blah) that she's also expecting when she says TAKE ME TO DINNER.

It's very basic... the girl invests in the visual for the guy, expecting the guy will invest in the emotional for the girl...

[electromagnetic]

If I tell my husband to take me out to dinner sometimes, outside, I’m expecting a free meal and kisses later

[coachTanthony]

🤣🤣🤣

[mono_gram]

It depends on the person and how she said it. If that person just kind of threw it out there and didn't really mean it or she likes to joke around like this then it could possibly mean that she's asking for a free meal. But I feel like most of the time it would be because she's interested. Or the third option, she purely just wants to have a meal with you and that's it.

[blueonblack22]

For all you girls saying “oh this isn’t about free meals” ah maybe that’s not you but these women definitely exist. It’s been done to me twice. And it wasn’t the actual money expenditure that hurt. It’s the feeling of being disrespected and used that hurt the most.

Anyway if she explicitly said “dinner” it would set off alarm bells in my head. But if she said “he let’s hang out” that might be different.

[Caroline91]

Well thank you for acknowledging that there are those of us who aren’t taking advantage of all these poor male souls ‘cause God knows all every man in the world expects is for a woman to put out if he springs for a nice dinner! Of course that isn’t true, but I’m trying to make the point that we need to not paint all women or all men with such a broad brush and, in particular, @blueonblack22 I appreciate that you did not do that.

[blueonblack22]

@Caroline91 I am not doing that. But it’s like when a man politely approaches a woman who isn’t interested in him and she unfairly responds very negatively. Men are supposed to “accept” it and figure she’s acting that way because she’s had bad past experiences.

So women shouldn’t be surprised some alarm bells go off in the guy’s head when she says “we should get dinner”. You might not intend to take advantage of him but chances are had women who did exploit that in the past.

And again it’s more for a respect issue for men then a money issue.

[Caroline91]

I absolutely agree with you. I am shocked how within the past few years the level of disrespect on the part of both women towards men, and men towards women has mushroomed. Men and women are designed to be two sides of the same coin and to live in harmony together, to balance each other out, to not only respect but to love and appreciate our differences. I cannot imagine a world without good men in it. When a man does something nice for me, I find a way to reciprocate, even if it's just to give a heart-felt "thank you," because he deserves to know he is valued and appreciated. How hard is it, in some small way, to show you are grateful for his effort? So, thanks @blueonblack22 for being one of the good ones.

[blueonblack22]

@Caroline91 thank you :). Just FYI I know there are still good women out there. Our society could do a better job and handling this “two wrongs make a right” approach.

[NetherlandsNar]

Haha this conversation makes me laugh considering the toxicity of users

[Chazmatazz269]

Most likely a free meal. Women kinda want men to forget that there are a million ways to get acquainted that do not require the expenditure of cash. How much a man is willing and able to spend on a woman is considered directly proportionate to his value as a man and her value to him.
I considered this analogy recently: if personality really is all that matters, why aren’t women hanging out in tent cities and soup kitchens to meet men? Ell oh ell! Men outnumber women there more than two to one. There have to be some sparkling personalities in the bunch, right?

[Nikki1989]

Why are men on here so paranoid, weak, petty and insecure?

It is really getting out of control.

[coachTanthony]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Unit1]

What woman?

Girlfriend? Cool

Random girl, that I probably barely know?

Gotta vet out those foodie calls.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

To me that just sounds like an odd thing to say. If she wants a date, she should be asking him if he'd like to go out on a date with her.

[coachTanthony]

Maybe she is telling him to get off the pot and ask her out... holding him to his manly duties as a man.

[WindAtMyBack]

It could go either way. But that kind of approach seems overly bold and presumptuous - which in turn makes it suspicious. If someone asked that, I would assume I already knew them, and have a better idea how to take it.

Why not just ask if he wants to go out sometime? Asking to take her to dinner sounds too much like "gimme gimme".

[HawkPerception]

I would say if a girl initiates, then she's definitely interested in the man and not initially using him as a free meal. However, if on the date she isn't feeling it and he never sees her again afterwards, he might feel used.

[purplepoppy]

It's rude to not let a man pay because you emasculate him in front of the restaurant staff if you offer to pay or go 50/50. I Let him pay so he can feel alpha but it's nice if he thanks me after.

[Anonymous]

Free meal. Also stressful AF for the man. She's probably gonna conduct a whole checklist of a test of your etiquette. Like a job interview except it's a future partner interview. Say or do one wrong thing at the dinner and bam it's the buzzer from that dating show. She will call you a red flag for 1 thing you did compared to 99 good things. Dinner dates early are a trap.

[coachTanthony]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[ShadezMcgee]

Potentially both. I would reply with, "I save dinner for the third date," to screen them out as a test.

[molonski2]

Pretty obviously very interested in my view.

[Belgie]

It could be either. The guy has to make a judgement call.

[LaurenM1997]

I would never say to a guy “ please take me to a meal” sounds very rude to me and also a red flag

[coachTanthony]

That’s weird because I could see you saying something just like that 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[LaurenM1997]

Why? 😒

[LaurenM1997]

I wouldn’t

[LaurenM1997]

I’m not that kind of girl

[82lynx]

@LaurenM1997 He seems to be laughing at anything and everything said here. Take it with a full shaker of salt.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

She’s looking for a Foodie Call not a Booty Call.

[Lynx122]

It could be either one so that's what life is you don't always know how things are gonna turn out in advance. You just have to make decisions and then deal with it.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

100% she's interested. I'm sure she can afford a very nice meal worth maybe $40 on her alone.

[handsomelad70]

Perhaps both, but likely the latter more than the former.

[CriticalCatDad]

These days? Free meal. You have to always assume she’s seeking a free meal. So unless she’s paying, don’t go out with her

[DrPepper12]

I don't understand 40% of you! If she says take me out to dinner she's interested. It couldn't be clearer than if she stapled it to his forehead

[82lynx]

I’d rather the staple to the forehead; at least that would be honest.