Why is she not returning my call?

[Anonymous]

She always answers immediately when I call or text and she calls and texts me on her own as well. She always acts excited when she sees or talks to me. When we see each other just to hang out she would text me later saying things like "we should definitely do this again." We went out on our first date, had a great time, texted some the next week, and then I text her to go out again sometime next week and she said she would. I call her later that week to set up a time and get voicemail. It's been three days.

I'm not going to try again because I shouldn't have to. I told her to call me when she got the message. So I don't need any advice about that. I just want to know why would she give me all of these signals she's interested and then drop me cold.

[tex151]

Dude just chill and take it slow with this one, you've only been on one date, and your acting like she is the love of your life. Maybe she's been busy doing other things and hasn't returned your call. Your right you shouldn't have to try again because you already did. She got your voice mail, she got your texts, and she is fully aware that she hasn't called you, women live by their phones my friend.

She's either doing one of two things, she is either ignoring you because well she's not that interested contrary to what she told earlier, or she is into you and is just making you sweat it out for a while, and when she feels like she might give you a call. If you play into that game you've already lost. She may seem like a great girl, but your hooked on her and that's not good. What you need to do now is say hmm oh well I'll find another girl and go find another one, and then another and another, until you have some options. Or wait a few more days and call her one last time just say hey haven't heard from you in a while call me back and we can set up another date. Simple as that, now if she doesn't call then forget her move on.

If she really wanted to talk to you she would have by now, but she hasn't maybe she met another dude idk, but I do know women, they lie and well they just can't be trusted, and I think the reason why they lie is because they want to find a way to let a guy down easy, and they think the best way is to completely ignore him and all this will go away, and they can return to their little world of sunshine and rainbows. But the reality is it just doesn't work like that ladies you can't lead a guy on and then ignore him and expect it all to go away you need to tell him, in some way or another.

[Asker]

Well I'm not saying she's the "love of my life". There is no way to know that at this stage. I've already made my decision (not going to call her again). I just want to firgure out why women do this because they do this to me ALL the time. I'm sick of it.

[MHseven]

has she not texted you or phoned you since 3 days ago?

have you seen her since then?

if that is not, then you are stubborn and far full of pride not to call back, you must beg her to answer, fall to her feet so you can look up at the clear sky in which all will become comprehensible. it will only be then when you understand what has befall.

she may not have checked her voicemail that time, and she may be upset with you for not replying within that time (in which you were waiting for her call) and she may have became heartbroken and desolate.

try not to see this at one perspective.

[Asker]

I'm sorry, but you are confusing me. I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not. I called her and left a message to make sure we were still on for our date, but she won't call me back. The ball is in her court. You can call me full of pride, but I refuse to be one of those pathetic guys that don't know how to take a hint. All I want to know is why she doesn't want to talk to me anymore after she gave me plenty of signals that she was interested.

[MHseven]

Do you even know what is going on? how can you be so sure that she wants to dump you? why don't you go find out exactly what is happening? go to her place and DEMAND an explanation! or go to her place and ask her personally if she is up for a second date... she would probably tear up in front of you if she is the bad guy...

[Asker]

I know this because she always answers when I call. I've never even had to leave a message before. I've seen her purposely not answer the phone when someone calls her that she doesn't want to talk to. She knows what she's doing. I can't just show up on her doorstep demanding an explanation. She lives an hour away and I would seem like a creep/stalker. I'm just trying to figure out if she's playing mind games or if she's no longer interested. Based on prior behaviour I would believe the latter.

[MHseven]

Why would you be a creep/stalker - if you are going out with her?

[Asker]

Well for one thing we are not in a relationship. Besides, it's rude to show up at someone's house uninvited. I just want to know why someone would show so much interest in being with me and then try to blow me off after we set up a second date. It's not like I wasn't giving her enough space. I didn't call/text her every day. I just wanted to set up a definite time for our second date. For some reason she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and I'm just trying to figure this out.

[MHseven]

Why don't you stop talking and tell her that she started - if she comes back to you...

[Asker]

Well that's why I haven't tried to call again. The ball is in her court.

[MHseven]

So,,, when she throws back, you tell her - 'YOU STARTED IT', lol!!!

[Asker]

Lol. I doubt she will even call me back and give me an opportunity to say that lol.

[MHseven]

Loool, you have to tell someone off though!

[forever]

Call her once again or text her once more asking how she's doing. She might not get the voicemail. You can never be sure why until you ask her. I dont' even know why but maybe I would guess that she thinks this rel. is moving too fast?

[Asker]

Well I thought that she may think that, but we've been talking for about three months now and I've given her plenty of space between the times we meet to hang out with friends or go on dates.

I just thought of something else I probably should have mentioned. The day before that, she called me to thank me for a card I sent her. (She was sick.) She had to go but said she would call me later. Never did. Since I didn't hear from her I thought I would just call her the next day and set up a time.

[forever]

Well, she's sick you know. Maybe that's y. You don't even know what kind of sickness she's experiencing right?? Just text her next week saying are you okay now? stuff like that. If no response then, move on and eventually you will not wonder about why she did that to you.

[Asker]

She was over her sickness by the time she got the card. She had the flu. I had checked on her several times during the time she was sick.

[forever]

Well then, just forget about her. She has her own reasons and you don't need to know why because sometimes in life, you'll never find the answers you are looking for. That's her privilege to not answering etc... we will never know why but the important thing is you try and the ball is on her court now. If she does call you back, you also have the privilege to take the call or to ignore her. So, just enjoy life =)

[Asker]

Well that's what I plan to do, but I was hoping maybe someone could tell me why girls do this. It happens to me all the time except this girl showed more interest in me than usual. Thanks for the help!

[browolf]

My ex did something similar after dating 6 months.I've never found out why. The best guess I have is things weren't as good on her side as she was making out. (I thought everything was going great) Eventually she decided, for whatever reason, enough was enough, and instead of doing the decent thing (some people can't handle the decent thing), cut me off and refused to talk to me ever again.

[Asker]

Ouch. That sucks man. I guess it's better for her to do this to me early on than be in a relationship and get cut off like that.

[browolf]

Its not ideal but now you know of her less desirable traits. its good fortune to find out now and not later.