How far should you go on a second date?

[Anonymous]

ok so a few days ago I had my first date, and by the end of it my first kiss with this guy I really like (the kiss was really short because I was nervous). And apparently it went well because we have plans for a second date on Sunday! Last time we went out for dinner and this time were going to see a movie... Since I've never done this before I don't really know what's expected physically on a second date...

Updates

+1 y

just a clarification I don't intend to have sex with him... just saying

Updates

+1 y

Thank you for all your wonderful answers everyone! it went really well, we had a slightly longer version of our first kiss. I really appreciated the answers because I'm so new at this!

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't walk into a second date with the mentality of thinking what's "expected." Guys don't walk into the first date thinking whether the girl "expects" him to pay, etc. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever you feel like doing. And if the other person has a problem with it, then that just means the two of you weren't compatible. Maybe that means you need to find a "more" sexual partner, or a "less" sexual partner. But it doesn't mean that he's an @sshole or that you're boring or slutty just because the two of you aren't sexually compatible. You can't "force" a square peg to fit through a triangular hole.

As a rule of thumb, if you want to do something sexual, no matter what number date it is, just do it. On the other hand, if you don't naturally feel like doing something sexual, no matter what number date it is, don't do it. What's worse than a girl that's borderline asexual? One that is having sex with you out of some feeling of obligation or guilt - that's disgusting and a turn off. Sex should be mutually desired and wanted, and if it's not, then it's not worth having, no matter how much you think the other side wants it, expects it, or would appreciate it.

On the other side of the same coin, and with equal force, if you feel like doing something, please don't hold yourself back. That kind of behavior is frustrating, annoying, and sends out all sorts of wrong messages to men, including the message that you're just not as sexually interested in him as he is in you - and that's just best case scenario. Worst case scenario? You may be sending off the message that you're riding some Cosmo/Oprah ego-trip (e.g., "I'm so worth it, if he wants me, he's going to have to wait, I want to see how patient he is, it'll totally be worth his time in the end, because my vagina is made out of gold, I mean platinum, I mean palladium, with suction pumps, and vibrating walls that hum at 12,000 rpm.")

Moral of the story is, don't hold yourself back, but don't push yourself forward either. Just do what comes naturally and know that there's nothing wrong with that.

[Peter0]

If you want to take it slowly, go ahead and take it slowly. I've always liked making out early in a relationship, but everyone is different, and that sort of thing develops at the slower speed.

There's lots of ways to be a little closer without kissing, too. Cuddles, sitting really close together. Watching the stars and night with your head in his lap (facing up), holding hands for a long time, etc.

Also, don't assume he wants to do something quickly, or that he's ready for things. If you want to go further, ask. "We could take off our shirts, if you like." etc.

[Chanelxoxc]

Do whatever feels right. if you don't want to kiss him, don't kiss him, if you do then kiss him. Don't feel pressurised, just because you kissed him last time doesn't mean you have to now, you're only dating so getyting to know each other which you can do without shoving tongues down each others throats (unless you want too) Take it one step at a time and just enjoy it, after all if you like the guy you're meant to be enjoying spending time with him not worrying about how far you should go. :)

[laceyz565]

Kissing is the farthest you should go. Nothing sexual. If he tries he's trying to take advantage of you. You seem pretty naive and trust me you don't wanna lose your virginity like that. Make it special and make sure if you do lose ot to him that your dating. You don't want to remember losing your virgincy to a guy that will play you or break your heart down then road. Just be cautious because you never really know

[ky_monsterr]

There is no manual that exists on how to date, contrary to popular belief.. You just go with it, while holding up your own morals. It's a lot easier than movies and magazines make it out to be. Just go have fun, and enjoy it while you have it. :)

Good luck

Ky

[amameninas]

I am a generation older and do not understand why young women drop their knickers so quickly. Doing so short circuits the normal development of a relationship. It should be based on friendship and trust, not "chemistry" which is another way of saying "we make each other horny".

[SeniorSherlock]

Let me just make it clear, men don't respect women who put out early and while some may leave you for it, you need to not do anything past kissing for at least 4 dates, maybe some fondling on the 5th/6th and if you want sex then wait at least 15 full dates. This is the lowest I recommend, and since I am 40, I would recommend doing what my generation was more accustomed too and waiting 22 or more dates, or until marriage.

[lavalamp87]

no I expect sex by the 2nd

[ckderek]

Just go have some fun, and don't worry about it. No reason to be stressed! Enjoy your time with him, and see what happens. Maybe you'll get a hold on the waist and another kiss. Or maybe he'll go for the neck. Set your limits if he tries to go too far. But, either way it's win-win, so enjoy.

[islands7]

If you are nervous, shy and innocent, it's enough to kiss again and even French kiss on this date, even in the movie if you feel racey. This is first base.

If he assumes 2nd base is OK (ref. urban dictionary), then tell him "not yet" with a wink, a deep kiss and even grab his biceps or buns in the process.

[Peter0]

"No no no, you didn't ask!" Then "not this time, maybe later "

[Anonymous]

Lots of talking and a more relaxed version of your first kiss. Real eroticism should be days or weeks away dependent on how often you are together. Eroticism should reward patience, respect and compatibility. Virgin or not, don't start eroticism until you are at least "in like" with a guy. That takes more than a couple dates.

[patoot10]

nothing actually .. you shouldn't feel obligated to do anything . a lot of people are OK with a cheek kiss on the first 2 dates or something .. so take it slow

[Anonymous]

never ever give in too easily , make it hard to get to keep your guy interested in you , the more difficult it is the more he will be interested in you , create a suspense and let it last longer in order to keep his interest on you and as times goes by he will be acting more submissive towards you and you have greater control over this relationship.

[AndyWes]

You're either gay or a woman. That's 100% horrible advice.

[ky_monsterr]

Ok, Seventeen Magazine.

[rocksongwriter]

"How far should you go on a second date?"

15 miles, 20 miles tops.

[ninetynine]

Personally, I wouldn't go farther than kissing on a second date. I'd focus instead on just having fun and getting to know each other better.

[Turtleluv]

Only what you're comfortable with. And I would suggest nothing more than kissing, but it's your life.

[523206720]

A hug and having them put their arm around you. Nothing moire.

[Badboyoz]

Out for dinner and a movie boring . Better of going for a coffee at dome etc hanging out , no pressure fun time then back to his apartment for sex.

[Anonymous]

Physcially, just a kiss at the end. You have to have your own rules how far you're willing to go girl.

[seksek]

Just a kiss again I think. 'It' shouldn't go into any holes until a bit of a commitment is made.

[Michaelmwm19]

what if they are playing mini golf? Lol.

[Anonymous]

as far as a kiss, afterall its only the second date! Haha. Keep in mind though that you don't want to rush in anything. You do what you want when you are ready for it. Just be comfortable. Hope I helped. :)

[Anonymous]

Just do what you feel like doing, you don't have to follow a premanufactured mold set by other people/girls

[Anonymous]

a longer kiss and hug, definitely not sex!

[Asker]

at the end of the date?

[Opinion Owner]

yeah

[MillytheIrishOne]

I'd say more serious kissing, although he may get a bit feely in the darkness of the cinema.

[Jonny_]

Just go with whatever you feel happy to do...

[Enideqa]

What you feel in the moment, follow your gut.

[Anonymous]

From California to New York

[Asker]

don't know what you mean

[Michaelmwm19]

he means sex.

[Asker]

lol ohhh

[wolf359]

As far as both parties desire.

[Gilchun1]

sex.

[Anonymous]

sex or there won't be a third date.

[snowangle]

Lol

[ky_monsterr]

Love it.. hahaha

[lavalamp87]

lmao, voted UP!

[Anonymous]

Sex

[Opinion Owner]

Why thumb this down? I had sex on the second date with my boyfriend and we've been together for 3 years and now we're engaged.

[Asker]

I don't know... Probably because most people don't think I should be doing that since I'm still a virgin and this is my first ever boyfriend and all. Just a guess, I didn't down vote you...

[Badboyoz]

There you go.. happy now ?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not saying you did. It could've been someone else. I was a virgin too before I met my first boyfriend that I had sex with and now marrying and who cares what people think. It's your body.