How patient do I need to be with a very shy guy? When do I need to just give up? (Page 2)
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From my viewpoint I dont see what the problem is. It seems like things are going well.. maybe a slower pace than you'd like, but I think he likes you. The bad news is you either have to get our of your comfort zone, and be willing to initiate the pace, makes all the moves etc, or find someone better suited for you.
It just feels weird for me to initiate the plans but I'm willing to do it because I know he is a great guy. It's just weird to step out of my comfort zone.
It seems to me like he is still interested, just as shy as you say he is. Don't be afraid to be the confident, supportive one in the relationship. I admire how you aren't going out with anyone else. You sound like a good girlfriend.
Thank you! I think it stems from the fact that in college when he tried to talk with me I quickly gave up on him when other guys approached me. I'm out of college now and more mature therefore I am willing to be more patient. The fact that we kissed/made out is what is driving me to believe he is interested. I'm going to ask him to hang out over the weekend here but if he has an excuse then I'll give him one more chance then I'll write it off.
Lol im 20 and nvr a gf either cuz im shy. U should not give it. U should be the one to take the lead if u are getting at a shy person. Shy people doesn't have the guts to do it cuz they are afraid of fear of rejection. U had to take the lead here on out and dont expect a ahy person to initiate. That is why we are shy.
The thing thats missing, is that you do not have a plan "C", to never give up, unless he does.
How do I know when he has given up?
your gut feelings tells everything, you'll truly feel the spark has gone, and you teo has faded.
You have to bait him. He's complacent in his shell and if you want that to change, you unfortunately have to make yet another move.
Ask him what he hopes will come out of this.
By another move what exactly do you mean? Do I need to ask him to hang out again say this coming weekend? I hope he doesn't think I'm annoying asking him to do stuff on the weekends. For example, we didn't hang out last weekend but we did the prior weekend. I am only home on the weekends so we are limited on when we can get together in the first place.
You have to initiate the next stage.
Ask him where he stands in this relationship and where he wants to go with it.
Well he sounds REALLY shy haha. I think he is interested in you too, but his shyness will be a defining characteristic of his personality. So you have to get comfortable with this, ijs.
Will I be initiating everything hang out wise? He asked me to grab drinks with him for our first hang out then last weekend he asked if I wanted to go to a movie with him. I took that as good signs. I usually have to text him first to start a conversation though. In person we are good, it's just the whole phone thing that sucks.
I don't think girls should be initiating all hang outs. This is just on principle. Both parties should show effort in a relationship, one-sided is not good. Your comment shows that he's started initiating stuff though, which is good.
Conversation-wise, perhaps he is not much of a talker. I too rely on my crush to steer the conversation topic, and hope it's something I can talk at length with her about.
I'm a shy guy too, and it took me 3 years to finally get the guts to ask my crush out. His behaviour is typical of a shy guy. But (big BUT here), he is 27 years old. I expected more.
I started having more nerve when I was going to graduate from college, go for job interviews. I got more outgoing and talkative, and I see every date as an adventure. My crush says I've changed a lot but she says she can still see that I prefer being left alone and not talk much sometimes.
He does seem to be more outgoing and talkative in person versus how he was 5 years ago when we hung out then. I just wish I knew for sure that he was into me, most outgoing guys would give you some reassurance via text. This shy guy is just like a closed book. I can't read him at all when we aren't together in person. I hate texting for this exact reason! ugh!
I disagree with both options A and B.
Don't give up on him.
Don't be patient.
Take initiative yourself. You like him, move things along.
How exactly do I do that? I guess a good start would probably be to ask him to do something this coming weekend, correct? Then from there do you mean to take things to the next level other than just kissing? How can I get him to be more comfortable around me. I try to share personal things about myself when we are together in hopes he will share something about him.
He probably was busy. He should have gotten back to you earlier but don't make it a big deal. Now if he doesn't find time for you this weekend either, then that would be more of a problem.
Tell him what you told us? it's the only hope that he has to change if not, he's not going to keep you in the relationship forever
you are cool for working with him.. learn a few things about what he likes and then he won't be so shy with you. and he will see that you are a really cool gal besides the make out sessions
You Shouldn't Give up if you really like him.
That's the problem with you Girls you give up too soon even when you really like the Guy.
Us Guys don't give up that quickly when we like a Girl.
Be patient to him as much as possible. Personally, you sound like an appreciative women and a nice one! I suggest you reassure him about himself. If he likes you, he'll be delighted by your moves and will reciprocate. Coming from a shy guy. :)
You really shouldn't give up on him, he sounds like a nice guy :)
Personally I would say give it more time. He sounds shy but he might also be working with other issues like relationship fears etc
27 and never had a girlfriend? Cut him some slack, since he is that inexperienced you will have to take the lead mainly in the beginning
Shy guys seem to one step forwards and two steps back so ummmm
some guys are just not ready to date
I don't think he wants what you want.
he sounds like he is interested