Hi there. I'm a child, a teenager. Being a sixteen year old, I'm aware of the world's issues, but still not an adult (learning about these issues is the main reason teens are mad and sad). I've encountered all sorts of parents; strict ones, loose ones, fun ones, ones that are never around. There's more than just a couple types of parents and parenting.
So I'm here to explain to you why strict parenting isn't going to work, and is just plain cruel to a child.
Parenting, as we all know, is a hard task. You've got infancy, then they become toddlers, a child, teenager and adolescent, ending with an adult. All these stages have their own difficulties.
Nonetheless, strict parenting isn't an option. Sure, it's easy to when they're in their "no-phase" or just a child, but as soon as they pass the age of ten, you've got to let them go more. Here's why.
Strict parents create sneaky children
I know this to be true, because I am one. My parents have relentlessly tried to force rules upon me as well as my older sister, and it never works. I always just lie to them, knowing I'll be able to actually have some fun in my miserable life. This doesn't always work, but I have still become an excellent liar as a result.
You're not allowing them to develop
Teenagers are supposed to make mistakes. We're supposed to do things wrong, so we'll learn how to do them correctly next time. You, of all people, should allow them to make these mistakes as a parent. That doesn't mean you should be ok with them meeting up with strangers online or allowing a twelve year old to stay out until one, but it does mean you shouldn't try and protect them from everything they encounter.
For example, wouldn't you rather your teenage child got drunk at a party but got home for you to take care of them, instead of them doing those things when they're adults and have no one to tend to them?
You're robbing them of their memories
If you don't allow kids, especially teenagers, to go to parties or friends or the mall, solely because you think you can prevent something bad happening this way, you're making them miserable. I've had depression and it was mostly caused by loneliness. Loneliness is not something you, as a parent, or family, can fix. Teenagers need to be with people their own age and develop this way. Discuss what matters to them, discuss what their stance is on things such as drinking or politics, or even just the latest fashion or music. This is how you grow. Adventuring is how you grow. Allow them to visit new places with their friends, allow them to go to a friends', even if you don't know that person or their parents.
You're making them lock you out
Not allowing them to do things will make them stop telling you anything, because you'll be judgmental about everything they say. It creates an unstable environment, and likely they'll shut you out when they're adults.
They'll act out when they are finally able to
Instead of creating a disciplined, functioning adult, they'll do all the things they couldn't when they were younger: with consequences.
If you didn't allow your teen to drink or go to parties, stay out later than twelve, the second they move out they'll do just that. They will go out, drink and possibly end up in a coma because of the alcohol. They'll smoke, maybe even do drugs, possibly causing an addiction. It's unhealthy; but you're the one that caused it.
I hope I've listed enough reasons to make you reconsider the way you're raising your child. The way you raise them will make them who they are. I hope you didn't read this and saw an angry teenager on here, but actually read its content. Maybe it even made you think about the right or wrongs in the way you were raised.
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