Why do girls want to be friends after a break up?

[Anonymous]

Honestly girls, please say why you want to be friends.

After that can you give me a hand understanding why my ex wants to be friends. She basically said her feelings for me have gone, "Right now", and that not to get my hopes up about us getting back together, but if she had to choose a man to settle down with, I would be the type of guy she wants to settle down with. She wants to remain friends, and to do stuff together as friends.

Any opinions are fine.

Updates

+1 y

Any other opinions are accepted.

[focalpoint]

To be completely honest bro, girls have no f***ing clue what they want out of a relationship. This never exactly changes, but marriage quiets down their crazed emotional outbursts of "what ifs" etc. Normally.

Girls want to be friends after the relationship is ended, because they aren't entirely sure what they're doing is what they truly want, if they're dumping you. See, with women, any little thing can set off a time bomb of repressed feelings and emotions, not necessarily caused by you, with you as the target. They will force all their stress onto you, most likely ending in a break up.

However, that little bit of level headed consciousness continues to remind them that this isn't what she really wants. Hence being friends leaves her foot in the door in case she wants to hop back into a relationship with you. It leaves a line of communication open, so to speak.

Personally I avoid this at all costs. I separate myself from the girl for quite a while, normally until after I have a rough break up with someone else, before I begin to openly talk to them as a friend. However, it normally never stays that way as they always want to reclaim some of those past emotions, and they end up ruining the friendship with their want to be with you again.

It's a confusing jumbled mess, and I think women really need to get a serious grip on what's really important. Breaking up with someone will not solve your problems. You're just going to end up hurt, scared, and alone. Most guys won't say yes to being friends, anyway.

[dragonslayer0413]

no it is highly impossible to be frnds in the first place. Why the hell should couple broke in first place its because they felt they were incompatible in their views , lifestyle and the most important of all they lack the respect for others views, understanding , trust which is necessary for any relationship. When they don't have any trust or understanding or respect for others there may be many circumstances where frnship becomes a failure but many people try to do it because one of the couple may still be attached to the other and other one wants someone who understands her/his problems. In the end it may lead to another failure story with lot of tensions , worries , old painful memories or else it may result in new relationship which takes a lot of patience , maturity.

[Bugsygirl]

I used to cut guys/friends out after a break up. However I’ve changed as I’ve gotten older and I find burning bridges to be a really horrible stressful thing.

Usually these are people I cared about and who cared about me and I genuinely think that friendships are valuable and important. I really try to stay friends now, it may mean I put up some boundaries in order for it to work, and it’s not without the two people having to be understanding of each other through the transition, but it is important to me to have that person in my life as I care about them. I don’t think you find good people you click with THAT often so a few years down the line after everyone has properly moved on, I am always happy that I was able to keep things good between us.

[SammieSunshine]

When I broke up with my boyfriend of three years(first love), due to one night of mistakes he made, I said I want to still be friends because I still love him with all my heart, but I want him to be happy and myself to move on, but I couldn't bear not having him in my life

[YatoNoragami]

So one night of mistakes was literally enough for you throw away the previous 3 years? I find that difficult comprehend. Of course I have no idea what the details of that night were but I am curious. The only thing that would allow me to do something like that would be if I found out that my girlfriend was having an ongoing affair.

[302302]

when I say I still want to be friends,

its usually because I feel bad about dumping the person,

and for some reason I think it won't hurt as much.

[muffintop]

Now all my ex's who still wanted to be friends.... sigh, they just felt bad for me. what a blow to the ego.

[Asker]

But wouldn't you feel wrose knowing that you are giving them a bit of hope, do you say it right as you break up with them or do you say it after they have had time to heal?

[302302]

Dont worry guys, sometimes you actually do wanna be friends.

but yeah I say it right away when we break up.

[Anonymous]

I find that girls tend to say this a lot but not mean it. Case in point... my last girlfriend said that after she dumped me and I was like sure... well she turned around and started ignoring me and then finally was like well your the one that wanted to be friends, I never did. Then proceeded to blame me for dragging on the breakup and annoying her.

[Anonymous]

yeah girls answer this sh*t, because I was gonna ask it. I've been nothing but an asshole to my ex and she still is bugging me about being friends... to bad she's got a boyfriend too, I wouldn't mind being friends with benefits, that at least makes sense.

[lapeters]

She could feel bad for you.. Or if you guys were incredibly close, she can't imagine not talking to you about everything. That's how my ex and I are. I love him.

[RiaRia]

If it was the girl who was the dumper, she just wants to stay in the picture and have you around. But if she was the one who was dumped she would at first insist at becoming friends, but take it back later because it's too painful for her :S

[purplehearts]

being friends after a break up is comforting, in the back of her mind still knows your there, not completly gone from her life. that's what my ex told me but didn't hold up his end pf the deal.. haha ..

[Anonymous]

If a girl wants to be friends after ending a relationship, it's probably because she cares about you and she doesn't want to completely lose you.