she's 5 years old and he's her father, I get how that might have been strange if she was 10 and he was still washing her or if she was 15 but she's 5, she was a baby less that 2 years ago.
my nanny bathed me until I was 12 and my dad would wash my hair and bath me until I was 9. there was nothing perverted about it and a dad being there for his kid is a good thing, the fact that he actually cares about her cleanliness should be like a bonus or something.
if the kid has no mother or the mom is too busy to wash her then let the dad do it, and kids taking baths with their dad's (not perverted shiz but a dad actually washing his kid) gives them a type of intimacy with their dad... shows that they can be open and honest with their dad's guys..
Yeah I love that he's a good dad but why can't he stand outside the shower or tub and just be in the bathroom with her.. Why does he have to get in and spend 15 min or so with her in there?
She's got her grandma and great grandma there and her dads girlfriend that could help too. But if rather he do it if that's what she wants. Just don't see why he has to be in the bath or shower with her..
How long is its ohk to do it? What age would it not be appropriate?
in my personal opinion I'd say it would be very inappropriate if she was 10 and he was still washing her like that.
for now I still think its ok though , and lady her dads girlfriend might not care for her the way her dad does... I rmemeber my dad's first girlfriend would always tell me she was planning on selling me if i didn't stay quiet... dude I was like 8 quiet was not part of my vocab...
and the gran~ she's old...
Her grandma and great grandma aren't that old her dads 24 and she's 5 and he has young grandparents. His great great grandma's are still alive lol. But I agree that it's not too weird at age 5
I mean I wouldn't want to do it with my son.. Even if I was in a swim suit..
I actually want to do that hey, Ii plan on being a single mother so like i plan to bath my son until he's like 6/7
Yeah but spending 15 min or more in the shower with him? Or just standing outside in the bathroom washing him?
when he's a baby I'd probably be in the bath with him wearing a costume or whatever but when he can stand uo properly and can stay still enough to get washed I'd stand outside the bath.
Yeah exactly.. She's capable of standing.. She's only 5 but you'd think she was in 3rd grade with her size and the way she talks and acts
have you talked to the dad about this though?
I told him I don't think he should do it. He didn't say anything
I've mentioned it numerous times but he acts like he don't want to talk about it
then don't let him bath with her. as her mom if you feel so uncomfortable about it...
Asker. Bottom line. Are you saying the Dad is a pedo? Yes or no?
No. sure, he should teach her to do things for herself, but when I was 6, my dad would make a bath for me and my little sister. He wouldn't get in, but that was because we were already in there and taking up room. He still helped her go through it, because she is 2 years younger... but he didn't do that cuz he was a pervert.. And whenever I came over we all slept in the same bed, but it wasn't weird or anything. In fact, she fell asleep, he fell asleep, then I fell asleep.. So I know for sure it was okay. He's my dad, not a molester on the street. You know people wouldn't say as much I'd it was a mother and son. Stop making all men into child molesters. They love and take care of their children too.
Im not saying he's a chold molester. I know for sure that he isn't doing anything. I just think it's inappropriate
Because it's private? But yes her dad. He already knows how she looks, and he's wearing swim shorts. It's one thing if you want her to be independent.. If so, talk to him about that. It's another thing if you, for reasons you can't understand, fell uncomfortable because he's a man. If in the case that you switch it and it's a mom and daughter and you Don't find that inappropriate while you think this is, then it's not an issue of privacy. It's an issue of you thinking that men are going to behave inappropriately.
I don't feel he will behave inappropriate
Yeah well he does everything for her even rho she can so it herself. So he don't listen to me.
My sister and I would take showers with our mom until ages 5 and 8 respectively. It only stopped because, one day, we realized the shower was too small for three people. (Yes. All three of us.) One day, it will be evident that your 5 year old doesn't want to bathe with her dad anymore. We like to look at child development in years, but it's not that easy. At some point, she will naturally start to associate nudity and privacy. If you stop the showers altogether, she isn't going to understand and will be angry with her dad. You'll see. She won't want this forever. Let him enjoy babying her for a while longer.
i.giphy.com/media/3o7btT1T9qpQZWhNlK/200w.gif Nothing wrong I'm still taking showers with my 6 year old and it's only me and him so we sleep in the same bed shower together is just to finish and get ready quickly nothing else. People now days think that everything is perverted or wrong when there's no malicious intentions. The only malicious is the people who is thinking bad about it. 😠😠
I don't feel he will behave inappropriate.
But its not just a quick in and out wash her and get out. They spend like 15 min in there. Why can't they spend their quality time together outside of her being naked and him in the shower with her..
I think it's fine, acceptable as long as neither one of them "act" any differently (ie, it's "normal"). But, I'm also a nudist and fully believe in nudist values. I think it's this thinking like yours (that it's "inappropriate") that is what's wrong with the world. I'm not judging you, don't misunderstand :) Lots of people feel the way you do, I'm just saying I don't think it should matter AT ALL! And if everyone did this, ie, nakedness was "normal", around anyone and everyone, then it wouldn't be a "big deal" or "inappropriate" AT ALL ever! It would just be "normal" and accepted. The human body is beautiful, and it's natural, and nothing to be hidden or ashamed of.
This is the sort of shit I really don't understand about Americans. You guys punish fathers for being absent, AND for being present. Would you say this same perverse crap if it was a mother in the shower with her son? No, of course not, because in America the idea is that all men are closer pedophiles and if they ever show affection to their children they mushed be out in a cage. Sounds to me you're the creep, thinking that simply because a father helps his five year old shower -which is not at all uncommon and actually advised by all professional caregivers and pediatricians for safety- he must automatically be a pervert. Get your head fixed.
I don't feel anything is going on at all. Ik he's not a pedophile. But why can't he stand outside the shower or tub and wash Her? Why do they have to go in together?
I never showered with my mom or dad..
You're still at it, read his comment again until you understand, he answered your questions already.
He's not only helping her shower he's in there with her for 15 min or more while she does whatever. Why can't he sit outside instead of be in there showering with her?
I wouldn't want my 5 year old son in the shower with me..
I just think it's inappropriate, I don't think he's doing anything wrong. It's just awkward I guess. Why he can't be on the bathroom with her helping and monitoring..
Please just stop, the only reason you think this way is because of your negativity towards men. If it was Mom and son you wouldn't complain at all. Its awkward for YOU because of how of a sexist you are. Mind your own damn business. A man is trying to be a good and very caring father and shows his affection and care via showering together with HIS DAUGHTER. It is completely appropriate in this age. Stop forcing your stereotypical, pervert and negative thoughts over such innocent and kind act from a FATHER.
Opinion
19Opinion
As long has he doesn't change the way he acts around her. It should be okay with dads.
I had three daughters and other than changing diapers, bath time was with mommy. I felt it was important to give them this time together to understand bath time is private time. Dad may just be doing a good job raising his daughter, with no ill intent towards his daughter whatever. But I realized that all he is doing can effect their independence and confidence later in life.
Yes this is exactly how I feel thank you!
She's only 5 it's normal. If she was 15 he'll yeah. 5 year olds don't know how to wash properly. She doesn't need to be aware of her own body yet. If he's covering up he's not naked. I washed my daughter until she was around 7. I wanted to make sure she was clean.
Yeah but why can't he stand outside the tub or shower and wash her. Why's he have to bathe with her?
And when he's in the shower alone naked he lets her sit outside in the bathroom and talk to him
It's kinda a see through shower door too.
I just think she should learn it's a time you don't share with people until you get older and you both consent. And that being naked isn't for just anyone to see
But he doesn't explain any of this too her
You don't want her to have a relationship with her father. Why are you taking her father way? Would you rather him not want anything to do with her? I'm not understanding why you are so concerned. If you continue to act this way the little girl will be damaged. You are creating an imaginary issue. You are now the problem, not the father.
I'm not taking him away. Why does he have to be in the shower with her for 15 min or so.. Why can't he wash her from outside the tub or shower?
They don't need to spend quality time in there.
He can stand in the bathroom with her but doesn't need to be in the bath tub or shower spending quality time. I think it's weird. I wouldn't do that with my son.
Is she your daughter? If she is you WILL force her to resent her father. If not why do you care?
She Will never resent her father. I care because I care about the little girl and her future. Just seems weird to spend time almost naked. When he should be educating her on how to bathe and that showeres are for one person until she gets older
the one thing that everybody forgets is that you still have to monitor a child when they're taking a bath cuz even three inches of water a child can drown in
Yes bit why can't he just stand outside the bath or shower and wash her why does he have to spend 15 min or so in there with her.
I'm not saying you should be in the shower with her I'm just saying at that age she still needs to be monitored
Yes that's what I'm saying he can be in the bathroom with her and help her wash. Why does he have to stand inside with her?
I feel the same way as you.
I understand when parents bath their children until they can do it on their own, but I would never let my husband or myself bath together (!) with the child! No matter what age
It's her parent looking after her, people are so weird about gender and nudity tbh. It saves time for a parent to share a bath with a child, and it's safer too; kids can drown in the most ridiculously small amounts of water. Kids should definitely learn about consent and types of touching that are normal and not. But there's nothing wrong or creepy about parents and children just being nude around one another, it's normal
It's a 5 year old my niece takes a shower by her self all the time. But is she was disable then that's understandable.
@dark_stallion I think either way it's fair for a parent to want to supervise. Maybe it's overprotective, maybe not. The issue I have is this implication that it's somehow creepy or paedophillic for a parent to be nude around their daughter just because they're a man
Well here a short story a guy I work with his brother has a daughter and turns out he would always take pictures of her nude at a young age and he would tell her not to say nothing and he would tell her to send him nudes, so tell me he wasn't falling for his little girl. She got to the point and was fed up and told her mom what her dad was doing to her since she kept holding it back to tell anyone... Well now he in jail for 30 years. You don't know all men's minds of what they do.. It can be anyone.
@dark_stallion it can be and that's why we should have sex ed, to teach kids to speak up. I don't know how you feel about mothers being around their kids naked? It seems to me pretty sexist that you would single men out as being predatory. Paedophiles can be any gender.
We can't demonize every parent and caregiver though; we just have to provide kids with the resources and opportunities to speak up if abuse is happening to them, and have a system in place to get those kids out of that situation.
No like why can't he just stand outside the tub or shower and wash her? Why's he have to be inside with her?
Well that's what it sound like @asker and I'm sure it's common some people do take shower with their kids...
He doesn't have to but it's not wrong that he does. As I said, it saves time. Also it's a bonding experience and often helps kids feel more safe in the bath- often kids are worried about getting water in their eyes and stuff like that. It also saves water, which financially and environmentally is pretty smart
But what about her in the future? Will she think its ohk to shower with anyone? That her body isn't a private thing in the shower? I guess it's ohk until she gets any older. What are would it be inappropriate?
Well but it is okay for her to shower with anyone when she's older if it's consensual and she feels comfortable. You said yourself, her body is her own. There's nothing shameful about nudity and also nothing inherently sexual; so she needn't necessarily feel that her body is a private thing. Just that decisions regarding her body are entirely her own and nobody has a right to violate those decisions.
Yeah you're right. But he doesn't explain these things to her.
Well, someone should. I'm a strong believer that it should be taught in schools, because parents won't always.
Yeah I agree
A 5 year old is bathing with her dad? what. That's some creepy shit I'm not going to lie. Sounds like this's going to end rather poorly, srs.
Uhhhm, fucking yeah? why the hell are fathers always demonized but these fat cows called mothers can walk around the house naked to show their sons what a "real woman" looks like even though her son is 13
Hmm 5 is still super young tho... I'm sure it's just convenient to wash like that, no? I'm sure there is nothing creepy about it
But why can't he stand outside of the shower or the tub and wash her..
No I'm not the mother. But if I was I wouldn't want that.. I wouldn't with my son at that age
No but I have 3 younger sister's and 2 young cousins I was raised with. Maybe cuz none of us did it I'm just not use to it and thibkbits not normal.
my mom washed me till i was 8 simply because i was lazy and found it convenient. eventually i outgrew it and decided i wanted to do it alone.
Yeah but why can't he stand outside the tub or shower and do it?
True but what about the future? I guess it's weird to me cuz I never did this. And wouldn't want my son to shower with me..
are you the mother? if so i suggest you tell them that it will stop when she turns 6yo because she's grown up now. you can still make sure she does it properly for a while but try not to do anything yourselves.
as for what to tell to the father to convince him i would personally compare this to breastfeeding. doing it for a while is perfectly normal, but do it for too long and it will have a negative impact on the mental of the child.
Yes I agree. No I'm not the mother
i wouldn't say it had too much if a negative impact in my case, but if anything it was definitely not positive, and my mom was fully clothed. all it did was delay the date i realized not everything would be done for me in my life and i had to move my ass and take responsibilities. stopping it and making sure she understands why can only be positive.
Yeah I don't know. Ik I was uncomfortable when my dad would walk around the house in his underwear. Let alone if he got in the bath or shower with me :/
I took a shower naked with my mom being naked as well when I was around 6. I was a child but it was wrong looking back.
That father should not be taking a shower with his kid wheather boy or girl espeicallly his daughter at any age.
He's wearing swimming shorts, she's still only 5 years old.
He's being a Dad jeez
But why can't he stand outside the tub or shower and wash her?
Because showering together is just weird. I guess I picture it as an intimate thing to be naked with someone. She's 5 she needs to know her body is private and not for everyone to see and shower with
its not inapptropriate but should get out of that habit of taking showers baths together
i really thinks it is okey and father is in the shorts so no problem
No, that's fine. It's his daughter and he cares her. There's nothing sexual or shameful about it. Who says it's a private thing?
I wouldn't recommend it because something could soon happen that they'll regret.
its totaly fine.
she's only 5, i bet she barely even knows how to properly wash her hands.
in my opinion, daddy should let her shower on her own by the time she starts her 1st grade.
She starts preschool next week but she is the size of a 3rd grader and acts older than her age too
I don't see any problem with that. By making a huge deal out of it and suddenly forbidding the girl to shower with her dad, her parents would only be teaching her that naked body is something to be ashamed of.
That is completely normal, you are the one projecting your strange sexual feelings onto something innocent.
No it's not good to have a daughter that age to bathes with father for once a 5 yr old don't need to see another man ding dong and 2nd no telling what they do in the tub and it can be very perverted.
I still find it disturbing... Period. I was at a friend house and her daughter was 9 and I heard him saying if she want to take a shower with him. I had a awkward moment but I didn't say nothing cause it wasn't my house but still I find it disturbing. You never know who a molester.
Smh guess y'all are just sick mf.
Ya, but if there is no mom, or she has a disability... you never know.
She has a mom they aren't together anymore. But she has a grandma and great grandma and her dads girlfriend that can do it. Like why can't he just stand outside the shower or tub and wash her?
Yeah but what about the future?
It should t continue past 5 for sure I don't think. I wouldn't do it with my son past the age of 2 or 3 or whenever you quit breastfeeding even
It's not inappropriate, my husband and our 9 year old daughters often bathe together, all 3 naked
There is no problem, he is a dad. It would be if he wore nothing or got a boner.
Yes that inapporite
some nations do it even they are adult.
Which nations?
@SuccessfulHornDog one of a chinese nation and German do that.
Germans do that? really, wow
I see no problem with it at all.
my father would wash me when i was in that age
Like in the shower with you or outside of the tub? Cuz it's fine if his in the room with her washing her from outside the shower but I think it's weird to spend 15 min or so together in the shower.
How are you related?
Why?
No I'm a friend.
Well like you said on previous comments, you didn't do it with your parents. So it would be strange to you, since your not used to that kind of thing. But it's not uncommon or unheard of to bathe with your children at that age. Most kids that young risk getting hurt or not doing something right, so bathing together allows you to teach as well as demonstrate how to clean yourself efficiently. You question why he can't jist do it outside of the bath... You do realize that's just as open as personal as bathing with them so your reasoning is a little mixed. At least if they are both undressed or the dad wears a swimsuit, it gives the child a sense of comfort knowing their not the only one in such an open way.
And really, kids don't really care about the whole thing, I remember showering with my parents, I was more concerned about getting to watch cartoons then I was about cleaning with them. And it gave my mom the chance to explain about the female body and say how we are all built differently and that whole lecture. So yeah, while you may find it offputting, bathing with your kid is fine and even educational if you make it that way. You shouldn't judge them for it. just let the parents raise the kid how they want. If you had cause of concern like some incest molestation speculation then I would worry. otherwise, it's fine.
But he doesn't explain any of that to her. He just stands in there with her for 15 min or so and helps her wash her hair real quick. He's not educating her on anything.
And no I don't feel anything inappropriate is going on. Just seems strange he can't do it from outside the tub so she can learn the difference of showering and having fun with dad when she's not naked. And to learn that showers are for one person not two people. Until she's older.
Whats curious is how you even know what they do in the bathroom. Did this jist come up one day during a conversation? are you in there watching them lol Because what they do should be of little buissnees to you. It's not your family hun, so who cares. And so what, he's jist helping his daughter out and if he can squeeze in a quick shower too then even better. kill too birds with one stone. And I'm sure when she gets more confident in showering they'll let her be by herself who cares.
Cuz I'm his girlfriend. And more of a mother figure and good role model to her than her mom is. Her mom's a piece of shit with no job. She needs good influences in her life. And I care about her future. We live with his mom and grandma and his grandma thought it was a little strange to. I don't know if his mom even knows they do. I don't know what she thinks. That's why I'm getting opinions on here.. I just thought it was inappropriate maybe cuz I'm not use to it? I never showered with my mom or dad.. And wouldn't want my son showering with me.
Hun, while applaud you for stepping up in raising the little girl, considering how most women in that situation would just ignore it. I think you should just let this pass. While you find it strange, its just something they do. And eventually they'll grow out of it. No need to confront something that isn't an issue. It'll just make him defensive if you confront it anyway, and you asking everyone one the subject is none of their business. He knows what's he's doing. Like I said, it's probs just weird becuase your not used to that. But everyone has their way of doing things. And it's not uncommon for people to do it with their kids so your gonna get mixed views on things. Just let him be a dad his way and help your way.
Ohk. I agree I think I'm just not use to it and will do my best to ignore it and let it go. And no I'm not her mother and am not trying to take the place of her mother, but she needs a good role model in her life and one that makes her dad happy and her. She loves me and tells me almost everyday. If me and him get married then I would be a stepmother but as of rn I'm just trying to be someone there for her and a good role model for her. I would love to be her mom if her and her dad would allow. But ik that won't happen unless were married. He's very stubborn and hard headed.
I see no problem
so, it's all good
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