Do prettier women have a harder time making girl friends?

Question

I’ve always wanted a group of girl friends, but I’ve never really had one. I've had some close girl friends here and there, but I’ve always had a ton of guy friends. Some of them wanted to date me or have sex with me, but ultimately I’ve always been surrounded by swarms of guys. I’ve noticed that some girls didn’t like me because their boyfriends/exes were friendly towards me. There were also some girls who were just jealous of all the male attention I got, and so they made up rumors and called me a slut. I try to be friendly but I just don’t seem to be any good at making girl friends.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Oh, yikes. You sound like my mother, who also believes her lack of friends is because women are all jealous of her.

To be sure, jealousy happens across many planes and I have no doubt she has experienced just pure jealousy, but...

I'll cue you in on a secret, as her daughter. I've learned that not only is my mother incredibly judgmental, as an extension of her own deep rooted sense of inferiority behind her pride in her appearance (one of her many strong narcissistic traits), but she also lacks empathy in many cases. Like, she's not completely bankrupt but she finds it difficult to empathize with others often, especially women, interestingly enough. She looks down on others but feels inadequate herself and so is never quite in the social circles she wants to be in, but will view different types of people as "losers who can't offer her anything." She has a decent case of internalized misogyny, in my opinion, which also would make it difficult to build relationships with women. She's not good at being vulnerable or open, because of her narcissistic desire to cover the ugly to maintain a certain image, which makes her seem unrelatable and reinforces peoples impressions of her. Women's friends groups tend to share A LOT. If you can't immerse yourself in that way, I'm not sure you would find as many experiences in close women's friends groups. Men tend to stifle emotion in their socialization and be more surface-level in interaction. If you struggle with depth, you might be more suited to the way men's groups interact than women's groups. This is a generalization, of course, but tends to be true on different levels.

I could go on, but I think I've made my point. On the outside, to people who dont know her well, she's an introvert who doesn't socialize much and will swear up and down that women just dont like her because they're jealous. As her daughter, I have an up close view of the unique bundle of psychological traits that would seriously impede connection with anyone, especially women. She definitely relates more with men and always has. I'm the opposite - my friends are always women and gay men.

In my life, I've known all kinds of women who are viewed as perfect 10s who are "girl's girls." Their looks dont seem to get in the way of relating to and connecting to other women. That's another set of problems.

Sure, some people will be jealous of you, but I would take stock of where you are in terms of self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, reliance on male attention for validation (due to low self-esteem, confidence), how confident you are in other areas of life, how much you socialize or make opportunities to make friends, how well you relate to other women in general, any sexist attitudes about women that would probably affect connection with them, what comforts you about being around men vs women, note your emotional experience when you are interacting with potential women friends, etc.

Therapy is a great tool for everyone, don't be afraid of using it :)

roxbby · Accepted Answer

I have to say that prettier women do have a harder time making girl friends because girls are going to see you more as competition rather than a friend. I think the only people, or girls, you'd really get along with are other attractive people who have a self-esteem and aren't so obsessed into looks, but that tends to be rare, too.

I don't think I'm exceptionally attractive, but I can say that I'm probably more attractive than my friends. I'm sorry to sound soooo cocky, but I'm being genuine. They were always seeing me as a sort of competition rather than a friend. Particularly, this one girl would always look me up and down whenever I'd join the group and be super salty when I looked good that day. The rest of the group would recognize the tension and have the same perspective on me. I always felt kind of isolated from the rest of the group, and I'm trying to find a new group of friends as I try to enter high school. The rest of the group were always closer and, I have to say, they were of more or less equal attractiveness.

People tend to vibe the most with people of the same gender when they're of similar attractiveness. Ugly people can't vibe that much with attractive people because ugly people would probably become very jealous of the attractive (in general, not saying that's for all people) and the attractive people might have higher standards for people who they want to hangout with.

I began talking to this group of boys from another school, and they're really fun to talk to. I have to be honest, boys are far more funny in general, although they are more insensitive and less thoughtful in general. However, girls are generally more toxic creatures, especially at this age when girls begin to feel inadequate about themselves and insecure with looks and attention from boys.

I think it all has to do with your personality type and what fits more to you. I can say that boy groups are so much better than girl groups because girl groups can be so toxic at times when it comes to envying each other (or maybe I have a shitty friend circle, lmfao). If you can't find girls of a similar attractiveness or girls who have an actually decent self-esteem (assuming you're prettier than the average person), stick to the guy fam. Girls who call you a slut really just envy you. I had that mentality before, but it's just because they either don't know the relationship between boys and girls as friends, or they crave the attention from boys.

Yeah, in the end, being prettier would always be more beneficial. In what way is it bad other than the fact people envy you? That just comes with strength to cope with envy.

WadeDanielSmith2 · Accepted Answer

Well, assuming you don't abuse your powers, you can pick whatever guy you think is best for you, so that's an advantage you should thank God for.

When I was about 24 or 25 years old, I was close friends with a 19 years old woman who I had a secret crush on. She was ridiculously attractive and every guy in Church flirted with her and tried to get her to date them, and she basically abused this and hurt a lot of people (but I was initially blind to that fact, because I loved her,) so when I told her how I felt about her for real one day, it ruined everything, and she had just started dating the guy she eventualy married, and I was friends with him too, but I told her how I felt because the two of them were using me as some kind of dating report card or something, and I got sick of it, so I told her how I felt about her. Well when she found that out she started doing weird things to make me jealous, and she absolutely crushed several other men too about this time, and then she and my other three friends one day all falsely accused me of something I didn't do wrong, so I got pissed at all of them. Maybe she grew out of it or something, I don't know, but I haven't spoken to any of them since then. By now she's 35 years old, that's been a long time ago.

So whatever, I don't know why I'm saying all this, but don't abuse the fact a lot of guys like you. Also obviously half of them like you just because they are shallow and want to get down your pants, whch I'm sure you already know. Try to find someone to date who knows what real love is and has some kind of mental and moral connection, not just lust.

Dobbiboy · Accepted Answer

I don't think it has much to do with looks. Some people just get along with/attract more people of the opposite gender, in friendship terms. I know women with only guy-friends and guys with only woman-friends. No rhyme or reason to it that I could ever figure out

btbc92 · Answer

Yes. The reason being is not so much that they going to have a harder time making friends. But it's simple fact that they're going to have fake friends more than they going to have genuine ones. Notice how when you watch a lot of movies and media and you compared to real life is actually quite similar. There's a reason why she attracts that tend to be similar to her, especially if she has a bad character will it create a toxic personality. People will always gravitate to you because they're attracted to me, or if I find you attractive enough to be received a higher status, just for your looks alone with little to no effort. Not to say you never put an effort in order to do, but for some people comes naturally to them.

A lesser attractive person will have to put in a lot of work just to even make one friend. Meaning, it doesn't always have to be a person who is not as physically attracted as others, but those who do not have an attractive personality, and character besides way of living and standards or background. People will judge you for all sorts of things, but you want to at least be judged for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Your situation is very similar to mine in my late teens and young adult life. I had a large group of friends. They were mostly boys too. The girls who continued to hang with me were proud of our gang. They made it even harder for other girls to get in our circle. I was the one who went out of my way to befriend others and/or keep the group intact.
Some girls liked my personality but couldn't handle my popularity. So, they slowly faded away. Other girls felt intimidated by my & the other group members' attractiveness. They, too, dropped off the list. "The strong survived." Most of us are still close and still hangin' around together.

SphynxUK · Answer

I’ve never been good at making friends, but that’s mostly down to my social anxiety and autism. I never know when I am a friend, or what exactly makes a friend.

As a teen to my twenties, girls were always jealous of me. Even friends thought I might take their boyfriends away from them. I got on with men because they talk in a simple way, with less chit chat and bitching that women typically do. I think this made me a threat.

I’m old now. People can take me as they find me. If I’m a threat or too attractive to be their friend, that’s their choice and their loss. I won’t be judged on my appearance!

KaylaJoy · Answer

It’s definitely more about attitude. I’ve had girl friends who were prettier than me, and we had no issues. I’ve had other girls who were prettier than me who I wouldn’t be friends with because of the way they behaved and talked. It’s one thing to be confident, it’s a totally different thing to be arrogant and stuck up and a braggart

scarlett774 · Answer

No I don’t so, as long as you be confident and extroverted maybe you’ll make more friends. I don’t think girls judge based of looks but maybe some girls are a little intimidated because all their boyfriends and exes are around you.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Sometimes, especially BFFs, but the popular ones do usually have a pack of female friends

Little_Princesa · Answer

I don't think so. Search a bit through instagram and tiktok. You actually see prettiest girls are the ones with most friends.

Surely · Answer

Other than them being jealous, I have no idea. You must be a very open and friendly young lady. Some women for some reason can not be like that.

BlckGrl · Answer

Yes all of my sisters friends were jealous of her

Anonymous · Answer

Not if her friend is a lesbian

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