How would you deal with a roommate who complained all the time?

[Flower7]

A few days ago, I let a friend of mine move in with me and rent my extra bedroom while she's in town doing an internship for 8 months. But she's already stressing me out. I don't know how I can deal with this for 8 more months.

She complains about the AC not being cold enough, the fact that I don't have cable, she criticizes me for not going out enough, she claims that I don't cook enough, she says the part of town I live in seems "lonely" and that the apartment seems too empty.

This situation makes me not even want to go home because I'm a person who really hates criticism and my home has become an uncomfortable and stressful environment.

What should I do?

[JPrez]

To me I see two ways to handle it. You could let things continue and put up with it or you try the direct approach. Summon your courage and tell Susie (lets assume that’s her name) that “we need to talk”. You sit her down and say, “Susie, you know I love you and would do any for you. I’m glad you’re here with me. I understand that this is not a five star hotel but this is my place and it is what it is and I have no desire to change it. I’d like for you to stay but the complaining has to stop. You have to accept it or move out. I wish you the best either way. I would hope that whatever your decision is, does not change our friendship but this is how it’s going to be. Giver her a hug and a glass of wine and then you’ll have peace of mind knowing you did the right thing.

[Flower7]

Thanks for the advice. I love the part about it not being a 5-star hotel.

[JPrez]

@Flower7 you bet. My Dad used that on me one time when I was 19, living at home and complained about boring food and no cable also. 😂😂😂

[Flower7]

Lol that's hilarious.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Plan A (Ear Protection) Plan B (Eat Gassy Foods) Plan C ($1.00 Complaint Jar & every time she complains have her put $1.00 in the jar) Plan D (Every time she opens her mouth all you have to say is What Do You Think This Is The Holliday Inn) Plan E (Invite your boyfriend or girlfriend or both over for loud sex & if your renting & it leads to your eviction problem solved.) Plan F (Leave The Toilet Seat Up) Plan H (Take a headache pill & call me in the morning) Plan I (Set up a $0.25 swear jar & each month send me a check so I can make some money too!)

[Flower7]

I LOVE option D about the Holiday Inn lol. That would help her know that I'm not the customer service department.

Plan F to leave the toilet seat up would be a bit random not only because I'm not a guy, but also because we each have our own bathrooms.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for Plan F it would only work if you had one bathroom & if you left the toilet seat up she would start thinking & when she asks act scared & say I was going to ask you the same thing. Mind games! As for Plan D you should totally buy a service bell.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

https://youtu.be/Gxo799iUY9k

[Flower7]

Lol I like how you gave an example of a good service bell!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Tanks 4 Da Moo Has!

[Jjpayne]

You just get out of the house and get as much space as you can. You are letting her stay so you can set rules but if it's only for a short time. I'd just avoid her for the time being. Go in your room lock the door type stuff.

My roommate is annoying too... All you can do is limit the time you talk and avoid them and get space when you can.

You could try to make boundaries and have peace. This means, things we will not talk about and things we will not do. If you continue then we will consider you having you move. Something like that

[Flower7]

Good advice, thanks. Getting space is probably the best option. So what type of annoying things does your roommate do?

[Jjpayne]

Correcting me and telling me what I've said that's wrong. Grammar Nazi type stuff.

No water on the hardwood floors or foot oil 🤔 apparently foot oil is a thing

Shower curtain needs to be a certain way to discourage mold yet not get water on the floor and the shower head needs to be retilted after every shower.

No peeing while standing up as that causes pee spots on the floor.

All of this sounds fairly normal but living in it... Day after day... It starts to wear on you.

His workers have towels all over the floor because they are paranoid about the water rule... I'm not saying it does not make sense but being forgetful and walking in one day with the shoes wet... He will promptly remind you about water on the floor.

If you are a guest it barely effects you but getting reminded by it...

My last thing was him showing his brother at a place he used to volunteer at having a funny moment there and I said the place he volunteered at closed and he would have probably had a fun time hearing the past memories and he shut me down and said no, no he would not stating he left them on bad terms so all good memories they shared would not have mattered I said I'm claiming it and I think he would have enjoyed it. He said you are a kindergartener that wants appreciation for coloring outside the lines.

So mad at him that day 😠

But I learn to just try and get by day by day

[Flower7]

Wow, SO many rules! You have to walk around on eggshells just to make it through each day.

[Jamie05rhs]

Wow, JJ! That's ridiculous! I'm sorry, man. (Though I personally agree with the shower curtain thing.)

[Jjpayne]

It's why I hang out at my mom's for now because she is less rule based 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@Jjpayne but you're still paying that guy? I would try to get out of that lease if you can.

[Jjpayne]

It's currently 300 a month so im just waiting one more year until I can move out for good

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Here is my suggestion, If you already signed for her to rent the room, you may have to go to the local magistrate to have her evicted, As long as she is causing you problems you are within legal rights to evict her, You need to tell them that she's placing you under lot stress and no matter what you do., You can not make her happy, trust me you just never know who you are dealing with and It's better to deal with things under legal actions instead of things become physical with her?

[HOAAH]

I hate negative people too.
You are being super kind by letting her stay with you.
Is she even helping pay the bills or rent?
Maybe encourage her to think about what she would have to do if she wasn't staying with you. Get her to realize how grateful she should be.
About the other things, get her to pitch in and try to make her stay the most positive and relaxing for her. Tell her you have no problem with your place but if she has a problem than you hope she can solve it.

[Flower7]

Yes, she'll be paying rent.

[apple24]

I would tell her if she wants to change things then she better start cooking and pay her own cable. I am not your parent.

[Flower7]

Very true. It seems like she's showing a lot of neediness. It does make me feel a bit like she's looking for parenting.

[apple24]

If I was in your house I would be great full to not be homeless. If I wanted those stuff I would just buy it or take it on my credit card. For example, I wanted to decor my room and have an iPad and I mean I can’t ask someone to give me one. I either spend the money or use my credit card. It’s a bit werid to complain about stuff like that. If the ac doesn’t work then offer to pay half

[pizzalovershouse]

Say a dollar put in the complain har an it goes for both hs an who ever has the least complaints gets cash

[Flower7]

Lol that would be a funny idea.

[pizzalovershouse]

Thanks 👍

[whybnormal]

I’d sit her down and have an honest conversation. It will only get worse if you don’t.

[Flower7]

You're probably right. I can definitely see this getting worse!

[douride2]

You can always take the chance of losing a friend & suggest it may be better for both of you if she moves out. I know I wouldn't put up with this kind of complaining and moaning about everything.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Not sure since I have never been in that situation. Though I do like what @apple24 and @jprez suggested.

I was fortunate with my past room mate (he moved out of state) .

[Tstrbrainer]

Wow, it's your house and your private space, you should set the rules. Maybe fix the AC.
Rest of the things are your personal stuff.

[COMMODOREII]

Well that sure sucks. You can try talking to her to cool it.

[AmeerX]

Tell that fool that she can move out if she can't bare with it in your home

[Steve37]

Tell her to find a new place if yours is so terrible

[mich15smith]

tell her to nut up, shut up, or get the fuck out

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you. . . talked to her about the problem?

[Jamie05rhs]

What an ungrateful bitch! Just kick her ass out.

[GreenGold1992]

sit them the fuck down and talk it out

[KeziL]

Get rid of her

[pus_sy_hunter]

Its very hard, get rid of it

[Dr_Latex_McPeggin]

Get a new roommate