I noticed on my post where the 12 year old kid got caught in the act of posing to take a nude, a lot of people said you should knock before entering a kids room. Lmao um I don't know about y'all but closed doors wasn't a thing in my house til we graduated HS. I prob wouldn't allow my kid to close their door until they're 18. Usually we’d say things like “hey i’m going in my room to get dressed” so of course the door could be shut for that moment. But before then? Nahh... If you monitor their phone at a certain age then it wouldn't be surprising to not allow their door to be shut. #FeelFreeToList#BehindClosedDoors
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+1 y
Everyone keeps mentioning locks. The gif is just random. I’m not worried about if the door is locked or not. I’m just asking would you allow them to keep a shut door especially around bedtime. Here, too many kids snuck in their significant other when the bedroom door was shut. I never did but the word on the streeth of those who did certainly gave parents a reason not to allow it. So maybe its about trust but still, nahh
Would you allow your kids to close their bedroom door and would you knock before entering?
I believe the only locks in the entire house should be on the outside doors, on the master bedroom, and all bathrooms. Every other door should only be what they call “passage doors” (door knobs without lock). on the bedrooms doors, they should be allowed to close their doors as they see fit. whether the door is open or close, if you're standing next to the doorway, you knock before entering. If, for some reason, the person would like the ability to lock their doors, let them ask for their doorknob to change and listen for the reason why. Not only does this allow for the right to privacy, it also sets the trust between parents and kids about the right to privacy. Trust me, when the kids are talking and chatting with someone, the mere fact that “the door doesn't lock” is enough to put fear that someone's gonna walk in on them for them not to try something. Even if they know someone will knock before opening the door, if they say “don't come in now I'm changing.” the mere guilt that they're not is enough of a guilt for them to realize they put their trust in their privacy in danger. Quite honestly, how many parents have called their kids out of their room and had the feeling you interrupted them from doing something by the mere way the kids were acting? I say there's no reason to punish or confront the kids. They are already feeling enough self blame for jeopardizing your trust in them about their privacy, there is no need (yet) to make them feel worst. The point has been made
We had doors but no locks, not allowed... but I had friends who didn't even get doors. My older brother lost his door for doing something (I have no idea what) and whatever it was he must of kept doing it cause his room eventually got moved into a living area in the basement so anyone going down there could walk right in on him.
This was all pre-cell phone days too. I suspect he sneaked his girlfriend in at night, like you said happened in your area.
My parents basically had a rule of no sex or making out in the house, respect them... they also knew that they couldn't control or stop it else ware. Go to her house or the forest or mountains but NOT here... respect the house.
As such I did not allow locked doors in my house... lets just say that early on I did until my daughter locked herself in her room and wouldn't let me in for 10 minutes or so, until I broke it down and then she got to have the broken door forever. She was just mad at me cause I wouldn't let her go hang out with friends.
I never needed to close my door growing up. Mostly because I didn’t have anything to hide from my parents about. I want to raise up my kids to know that they can come to me about anything and everything. I still stand by the rule of no cellphones in their rooms until they’re 16. They need a phone for emergencies? No problem, I’ll bring out the Nokia. If they want to close the door, sure go for it, but my house my rules so they better understand I don’t plan on knocking.
I think closed doors are necessary at 12 when they start to become pre teens and are growing. It’s a form of privacy. I think it’s invasion of privacy if they can’t even close the doors to get changed. You can monitor your kids in more clever ways than not letting them have privacy.
Masturbating is a thought some kids get at even the age of 3-4. It’s a nature hormone to want to masturbate. Obviously pornhub and porn websites should not be used by anyone under 18, but that’s where parent monitoring comes into play.
I was one of those kids. I was doing it and I really didn’t know I was doing it up until the point where I knew what I was doing. There’s a study on that also.
Lol I didn’t even have a computer or anything, but again I didn’t realize it was masturbation up until I knew what masturbation was. But yeah I think growing pre teen kids need privacy. I think it’s wrong for a parent to be viewing their kid naked after a certain age.
I would never view them naked. Like i said we simply state “i’m going to get dressed” and family knows not to enter that persons room while they temporarily shut their door
I feel like a kid at 12 shouldn’t have to announce that they are getting dressed. Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but I feel like there’s too much dependence in that whole situation. Creates situations where you become too reliant on your parent.
It gives no room for a pre teen to make mistakes and learn from them. I wouldn’t want my kid going into the real world flawless. That creates situations where your kid will fuck up later in life.
I think making your kid keep their door open is about the same form of dependence as a 16 year old not knowing how to cook because their mother didn’t want them using appliances and stuff like that.
I would wait until they are 18 until they can have there door closed for as long they want but : boys: 4-6mins changing clothes. girls: 4-6mins (before puberty) and 8-10mins (during/after puberty , when she wants to start using make up) . Masturbation 30mins (no phones, no cameras, nor webcam allowed )
No they can’t use the extra time. Will have cameras on there doors If they cover or violate the rule. They are gonna have a serious talk from me or the mom
I would literally be brutally honest with my kids. I'd let them close their door.
Don't send nudes. Your gonna fuck your life up later and it's illegal. Pictures live forever and school will talk. And you will be bullied by girls and boys
Don't get no broad pregnant or don't get prego it's gonna fuck your life up. Kids are terrible aka you (child)
Stop masturbating all day. Once a week is good enough for you.
Stop being edgy and emo doing stuff for attention or affection.
Stop watching all that porn. I watch it too but it rots your brain. If you have to hide it chances are it's not good for you.
Don't be a whore
Don't so drugs. People that do drugs are losers trying to escape their life or. Trying to fit in.
Don't embarrass me or make me disppaoanited in you. My love is conditional
my love is conditional simple as that. I need my children to learn how the world works and the stakes and consequences of your action. I'm not your mother I'm not going to baby you. if you do something wrong after I told you what would happen I'm going to punish you. I'm not gonna smile in your face after your fuck up. that pain and guilt embarrassment is needed. yes for my own child.
It's true tho. Nobody wants to brag about there kid being fuck up. Nobody wants a junkie son, and teen mom daughter.
All I'm asking for them is to not fuck up. I understand they are going to make mistakes in life just don't make those mistakes. So if my kids can prove them silver to me they can close their doors.
The way i saw unconditional was like, i’d still love my kid and not disown them if they became a junkie. However, i would not provide them with money to feed their need. I’d only offer, food, clothing and shelter because i’d love them unconditionally.
when i was 16 i had a good friend and a cool parent explain something to me I said how come your son is 17 and he's sitting next to you smoking pot and drinking beer and watching TV with Isis that don't bother you he says let me tell you something I said what he said I would rather have my son smoke weed here and drink beer beer here and that way I know he's safe and he's not going to get hurt or get in the car accident kill himself or hurt somebody else at least he's safe and he's enjoying himself so he's as in certain things in life you have to think outside the box because the things can go wrong real fast and if it goes wrong you may never take it back or might it not even see them again sometimes you got to leave your children make the right decisions but sometimes you can and Trust goes a long way with your children
Maybe they just like to have privacy you know maybe they don't want their parents hearing their conversation I mean I was that way when I was a teenager you know I didn't want my parents knowing every little thing
My kids didn't have a computer or cell phone while they were growing up. They got one when they were able to buy it themselves so I didn't have to worry about what they were doing but all bedroom doors were open at all times anyway
Yes, I would allow kids to close their door. Yes, I would knock before entering. Unless I had reason to do otherwise. You adjust to the kind of kid you have. I never got in trouble as a kid, so I didn't have strict rules I had to follow. My brother, on the other hand, was constantly in trouble, so he had strict rules. Things like being able to close or lock your door was a privilege that could be taken away, but you weren't automatically punished before you even did anything wrong.
I think I would especially if I have teen daughters. I don't want to walk in when they're changing. I think it's also a good habit to learn how to knock outside of the home.
I don't think 12 year olds should be taking nude pics but I would hope to be a good enough dad for that thought to not even cross their minds.
No not in my house my girlfriend doesn’t like any doors shut for any reason the only 2 that are shut is the main doors and bathroom if someone is in it. She would say to our oldest at 24 years old why is your door shut.
Exactly like this is what im used to. However one we graduated HS, i’d shut my door when otp or sleep and i’d get asked why but she never forced me to open it because i was older then
Well I wasn't allowed to until at least high school, mainly because I couldn't hear my parents yell for me when the door was closed, so I think I'm gonna stick to that.
I think privacy is a good thing. It's been standard but upon that agreement is a knock that should have a time limit attached to it. I think it could be as little as 10 seconds with no reply. But I think privacy is healthy especially if they need it, especially for girls as they tend to have deeper emotions that take some time by themselves to adjust to
At a certain age I'll allow them to close their doors. Somewhere in their teens I reckon. There comes a point when they have a right to privacy but up until then I plan to teach them best I can to not use that privacy to surf porn, sex chat, smoke weed or have sex with their window-sneaking boyfriend (if I get a daughter). Not that I'm expecting to face a window-sneaking boy in my window, or he'll be a window-falling corpse when I'm done with him.
I let my daughter keep her door shut. We do knock when we come in. She had to earn my trust for the privilege. If at any time I suspect her doing anything I wouldn’t approve of she loses the right. I randomly check her phone and tablet. She’s not allowed to have any passwords.
I think a Child's computer and phone should be monitored and parents should be able to see what sites they are going on. It's so sad that a 12-year-old would be taking nudes and yes in that instance a parent should make them keep the door unlocked what the issue here is these kids are 12 and acting like their 24 and they're not
@DizzyDesii Keep the door open for a certain amount of period of time then give them some privacy also, the parent needs to stress to the kid there are to be no nudes sent over the computer or your phone cause I can see what you are doing?
I think it's fine to have it closed. I hate it if I accidentally left my door open. No locks though I say is fair. To me if it's a reason of trust to not let them close the door there's some issues there in the relationship and disconnect. But it differs for the family dynamic I think. Close the door on social media at least.
Yeah I mean it's perspective really. And trust shouldn't be measured by just that but by the relationship outside the room. Though I don't think it should be a strict thing with the door. But at the same time I just had fam barge in my room non stop anyway so not much of a difference. I like the respect of space and privacy for everyone's quarters. But I'd base these decisions based on the actual dynamic of the family anyway.
Like we were told young that no doors would be closed. So we just always kept them open. didn't bother us since we had nothing to hide. Around college, i closed it and still do, they questioned it but let it slide
Yes. Children are still people. Everyone deserves privacy. Providing shelter as a basic standard requirement of a parent doesn’t give you the right to intrude.
I didn't say i’d intrude. In my house we had an understanding that doors stayed open but no one ever just came barging around a corner. We were basically just roommates under one household. We had privacy just from being in our rooms. No need to shut the door
Kids should be allowed to close their doors and have privacy just like adults. I don’t need or want to helicopter over them. I also reserve the right to enter when I want, though I do generally knock before entering.
My dad didn't really want to hear us so we either had to go outside and not come back until dinner or if we couldn't then we had to stay in the rooms with the doors closed.
If we had people of the opposite gender then we had to keep the doors open, but I did a sneaky and just dated girls so door was ok to be closed lol
I played by the rules. Can't help they didn't expect the old lesbian lover play. Unfortunately since we were always stuck in our rooms, my brothers shared the room next door so everything had to be quiet.
In my house only 1 out of the 5 bedrooms has a lock on it. And that is the master room. The kids rooms don't have locks on them for safety in case a fire would break out, and the parent (s) needs to get in, and other reasons.
My door was open but even if it was closed, anything i did was outside the house anyways lol. In other words i wouldve lied regardless cause i wasn't supposed to be having a sex no matter where the location was 🤣
They can close their doors. And I knock. my daughter already went through some stuff that she is very mature dealing with stuff like that. I don’t have to worry about my kids in that way because we take openly about everything.
My siblings and I were allowed to close and lock our doors AND my parents always knock. So, I would most likely do the same for my kids, although, I can see myself just barging in instead of knocking. 😂
Lock it not really, imagine an emergency occurs and the kid can't even op te door anymore. I would never want any door inside the house to be locked, except maybe the bathroom door.
And like i said, if we were going to get dressed, we’d say “hey im gonna go get dressed”. Meaning we could temporarily shut the door or even if we left the door open, people knew not to come around the corner. And he’d only be called a pedo if he told others about it
Under age of 11 I wouldn't expect to need to knock. After maybe, kids deserve some privacy at that stage ( I know I started to do certain things around that age)
Kids like anyone else need some privacy. If they don't get it at home they will just figure out another way to be sneaky. So yeah they can close their doors. I draw the line on locks however.
Its not spying. Its just keep your door open. End of story. My family didn't constantly check on us. Closed doors often means there's something to hide. We had privacy without needing to close doors
Changing clothes. Writing in a journal. Watching weird hentai or R rated movies. Having a friend they have a crush on over. Stashing their snacks. etc. They will grow up with a strong sense of reality. I will teach them about natural consequences to choices. I will never lie to them, not even about santa being made up. They will understand that I care about what they want in life and won't feel the need to lie to me. They will know what retroviruses are and how they work before puberty hits. I would be raising strait up the nerdiest kids ever.
Definitely before a certain age the parents can enter at will, but you can also keep the door closed before then, just without a reasonable expectation of privacy
Lol. My father trusted me until I, tricked him into signing papers for me to join the army. Lol. He already knew I wasn't a virgin. And I constantly had girl's over. Lol
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