She is always yelling at me and only talks to me for me to do orders she never asks me how I am nothing and Im always in my room avoiding her since there’s always a problem with her and she’s always ordering me around. I’ve been inside my room not feeling well for 3 days and not once has she asked me if I’m okay instead she’s just been ordering me around to clean her bathroom I haven’t had the strength to clean the bathrooms because I haven’t been feeling well but I still help her with the dishes today without even asking me if I’m okay she kept on ordering me around to clean the bathrooms I came out later and told her that I haven’t been feeling good for the past 3 days then she told me to take vitamin c and get away from her, she yelled at me telling me that if Im sick why am I going to take a shower and told me that i don’t clean the bathrooms I can’t see my boyfriend today she also threatened to tell my boyfriend about all the problems we’ve been having at the house and all this was because I told her that I wasn’t feeling well. I still help her with the dishes why can’t she understand that I’ve been feeling very weak why did she yell at me when I told her the state that I’m in? And yesterday I texted her this paragraph about how I felt (in blue) after getting in trouble for only drinking a little bit of beer as well as getting threats by her that she was going to hit me and she just texted me in Spanish to go to hell.On top of not feeling good I’ve been crying a lot because of the frustration of how I get treated by her
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I’m not going to clean the bathrooms today because I really don’t feel good
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She ended up talking to my boyfriend and twisting things around saying that I’m very rebellious, disrespectful, and that I screamed at her this hurt me a lot I was crying and saying that it wasn’t true but my boyfriend told me that he believed me and that he knows that I wasn’t that kind of person. She got my brother involved but my brother was confused himself and he didn’t know what to say she later accused him of lying, she told him bad things like that I was trying to make her look abusive
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Now I stay in my room all day just because I don’t want to see her is this normal? I don’t speak to her anymore either I just spend my days in my room and I only go out to be with my boyfriend, get food, and clean because I just really don’t want to be around her I have never been this way before
Does my mom care about me I don’t think that she does?
Im sorry for you. I feel terrible after reading this. But from what you’ve explained now and before, I feel like your mom is toxic. You cannot do anything with toxic parents yk? They’re seriously not gonna change. It’s this hard for you when you’re 20, I can’t even imagine what you must’ve gone through when you were in high school and middle school. This sucks :/ Please plan to move out soon. Maybe start saving up money for buying a house, or at least a house you can rent. You do know that you really really need to move out soon. Your relationship with your mum is already strained, if this continues, it’s gonna get worse. You’re not a child anymore, and yet your mum treats you like one which in my opinion, is not right. She should let you be independent. Even if she treats you like a kid I feel like she’s being insanely toxic and crazy. I think she doesn’t realize that she’s the one who’s causing your relationship to strain more and more. Your mum seems like she needs therapy. Please save up and move out as soon as possible
Why not move out? Once you turn 18 there is zero reason for you to need to stay there. I’m not saying it’s as easy as just hopping up and moving, you’d probably need a roommate to start. But I think that would be better than what you’re currently enduring. I think it’d be good to remove the element of her being able to order you around and be cruel. As for if your mom cares for you, I’m sure she does, but just doesn’t outwardly show it. That could be for varying reasons, especially if she wasn’t raised with much love or endured traumas, or both.
Sometimes parents get all caught up in there blah blah blah world so next time your mom says go do this or go do that or go to this just look at her and say hi Mom how are you today and she says go do that go do this how was your day today Mom and she says I want you to go do this go do that thank you for asking I'm fine Mom I've had a pretty good day yeah my boyfriend and I were just like doing this and doing that what can I help you with today Mom sometimes you have to be ahead of the game don't be caught up in that one moment take it way further and treat her the way that you want to be treated the say it out loud to her oh you're asking me if I will go do this for your mom I would be happy to do that for you you're very welcome
Well I do t know what to say , sometimes I feel as if she's trying to push you away does she want you to move out get pregnant have no boyfriend going to the bars smoking cigarettes making love the Five Guys or would you rather have you at home
Yes I know that and she knows that to, that's why she treats you the way she treats you what type of relationship did he have with her mother has she ever told you any of her experiences
You say all that and all she can reply with is swearing in Spanish. And yet SHE is the good Christian and you the sinner. Hypocrisy level 100000.
Just stop explaining yourself there's no point in speaking sense to someone who isn't sane to begin with.
Just smile and node because I promise you retirement homes are full of people like her. Those who think that their kids owe them something not the other way around they all realize when they are old and frail that they should have loved their kids more
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She sounds frustrated and i'd guess she really wants to see you progressing your life and helping her more around the home. Your relationship with her is strained yet sounds fairly normal given your age. You're not a child, you're not an adult. She probably knows she should be more relaxed with you and although she shouts a lot, it's not obvious that she hates you. Given that you hide in your room, communication will be terse and when needed. You miss our on the pleasantries because you're not there to have them.
This post breaks my heart. Your mother is a tyrant and like a lot of older people she seems to forget what it's like to be young. If I were you're age in this situation I'd make plans to leave and live somewhere else. I think your mother does love you, but she's taking you for granted. If you separate from her for a while she may come to realize how wrong she's been in how she's treated you.
Somewhere deep down, yeah, otherwise you wouldn't be living at her place and would've been kicked out at 18. She is definitely.. unique. Really start planning to move out, like, make an actual plan and start executing on it. You can do it and I think it would be good if you did.
My relatives are either in New York or at the Dominican Republic the ones I have here are my mother’s brothers and they all have had conflicts with my parents so our relationship is pretty non existent
I think your mom may be meaning well but it surely seems like she's showing mental issues (like bipolar) so she comes across as rude unloving and hateful to you. Its a tough situation.
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