Is there a way for my boyfriend to restrain my brother to avoid a fight?

[SachaBrown]

My older brother keeps being a dick to me and my boyfriend is getting pissed. When my boyfriend tries to talk civilly with him, my brother turns it into an argument and threatens violence which my boyfriend tries to avoid. Our parents never reprimand my brother's behaviour. I've tried to tell my boyfriend to ignore him but it's gotten to the point where he can't continue to watch me get bullied, He told me he wanted to talk it out with my brother but I'm worried about him. I told him I would feel much better if by brother was held back or restrained in some way. What are my options?

[Whatever2929292]

If your brother puts his hands on him then call the police and have him arrested. He has no right to be acting like this to someone. If your brother attacks I suppose that he has a right to self defense.

Why is your brother so angry?

[SachaBrown]

Ideally, I would prefer him in handcuffs before he even has chance of putting his hands on my boyfriend, that way he's in no risk of injury. My boyfriend is stronger than my brother but I still don't wanna risk it and my boyfriend doesn't wanna hurt him.

He's still technically a teenager so it's probably teen angst or something.

[Whatever2929292]

Yea but I don't know what he is angry about. You have ot comit a crime to go to jail though but I know no matter what self defense is not a crime.

[SachaBrown]

He just likes bullying me for some reason, I never really think too much into it, it's just sibling stuff. And he's always hated my boyfriend which I'll never understand. I understand that, I'm just wondering if there is a way to incapacitate him before any violence.

[Whatever2929292]

If he is trying to attack I suppose that is the way to do it. I don't know what else to really say...

You aren't like forcing your brother to be around him or anything are you? I mean I understand just not liking for feeling comfortable around someone. What I have a problem with is him starting shit with him if he did nothing

[SachaBrown]

I know, I just wish there was another way of keeping him still so we can talk about it.

No, he has his own bedroom which even has a lock on it. He purposely comes out to tease me in front of my boyfriend, then goes back to his room when my boyfriend leaves. I honestly don't know why he acts the way he does. My boyfriend will ask him all this if we can find a way to keep him in his chair.

[Whatever2929292]

Yea I don't know why he is like that. He should just leave him alone. I am sure if he has (or hypothetically has) a girlfriend you would not do that kind of shit to him

[SachaBrown]

This is why my boyfriend wants to question him on this but I'm too worried of anyone getting hurt. My boyfriend made a joke (in private to me) about locking him in the pantry to keep him from starting another fight and I can't help but wonder if that might work.

[Whatever2929292]

I think that would end up getting him in trouble. Look someone can't just come into your own house and lock you into a pantry. I think that might end up getting him arrested and like you said it was just a joke LOL

[SachaBrown]

Yeah, you're right, I guess part of me still kinda wanted revenge for when we were younger and he would lock me in that same pantry all the time hahaha

[Whatever2929292]

HAHA!!! Yea. For real though I don't know why he does this shit. Maybe just not bringing your boyfriend over to the house anymore or trying to talk to your brother yourself to see what his problem is

[SachaBrown]

I can still dream haha. Yeah, I don't know if I mentioned but he's always been a bully, evidently. I was thinking about not bringing my boyfriend around anymore but that's totally unfair, I live here too and our parents say it's fine with him coming around. Even if he did stop visiting, my brother would still bully me and if I were to talk to him I'd probably end up tied to a tree upside-down haha.

[Whatever2929292]

Yea you're right. Sorry about that I really don't know what to tell you as a solution but at least you can vent since I know it's frustrating and there really isn't anything you can do.

Have you talked to your parents about it? Or do they not care that your brother acts like this?

[SachaBrown]

That's no worries, thanks for letting me vent to you anyways.

I have but it's no use, they're busy at work most days and even when they're not it's still a "he's your brother, it's normal for siblings to tease each other" response.

[Whatever2929292]

You're welcome sometimes it feels good just to vent

[SachaBrown]

Definitely, I could vent all day about my big brother and it helps a lot. I also find it helps a lot to imagine what scenarios would happen if I was stronger than him or scenarios where I get revenge.

[Whatever2929292]

Feel free to vent all you want and need to!

[SachaBrown]

Thanks. Can I ask what would you do if you ran into my brother and knew it was him?

[Whatever2929292]

You're welcome. Lol I don't have a dog in this fight so probably nothing

[SachaBrown]

Yeah that's fair, I sometimes like to imagine that if I ever had a sleepover with some friends from school then we'd all team up against him.

[Whatever2929292]

Yea but I don't know if that would really be a good idea lol

[SachaBrown]

Oh no, it definitely wouldn't be at all but it's fun to think about. I imagine we'd pick out the prettiest make-up for him hahahahaha.

[Whatever2929292]

oh my... lol

[SachaBrown]

Just something fun to think about to lighten things, you've gotta admit it would be funny to see.

[Whatever2929292]

Yea lol

[WhitneySnow]

Tell your boyfriend to text him if you’re afraid of a fight breaking out. Is your boyfriend good at fighting?

[SachaBrown]

Texting is a good idea although I can't guarantee my brother will read the messages. Yeah, he's strong and has some experience.

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe just let them fight it out. Might stop your brother from bullying you.

[WhitneySnow]

But yeah texting is def the safe way to go

[SachaBrown]

Fighting it out might also be a good idea, it's likely that if they do fight my boyfriend will just end up tapping him to a wall or something to keep him from causing more trouble.

[WhitneySnow]

Might be the best thing

[SachaBrown]

Do you really think so? Which one do you think would help me get my brother off my back most effectively, Texting or fighting?

[WhitneySnow]

Fighting. Your brother doesn’t sound like a guy who’s gonna listen to reason.

[SachaBrown]

True he isn't, do you think it would stop him?

[WhitneySnow]

I think if your boyfriend kicked his ass it would stop him from bullying you

[SachaBrown]

Yeah true, plus if he really did tape my brother to a wall then he'd have no choice but to leave us alone.

[WhitneySnow]

Yeah lol

[SachaBrown]

Hahaha, that would be funny to see. Although jokes aside, do you think it would be going too far if my boyfriend does tie my brother up to stop his bullying?

[WhitneySnow]

Depends on how badly he bullies you. But seriously tying him up might make him go to the cops and report your boyfriend. Probably better to just kick his ass.

[SachaBrown]

He does bully me pretty badly but the main issue is how frequently he does it. I only suggest this because 1) it stops either of them hurting each other too much. 2) it keeps him out of trouble for however long he's tied there for and 3) it keeps my boyfriend out of trouble (my brother would have no issue telling our parents he and my boyfriend had a fight but there's no way he'd tell anyone he got tied up, too humiliating for him.)

[WhitneySnow]

Okay. Yeah I guess that makes sense.

[SachaBrown]

My boyfriend actually came up with the idea, I figured I should run it through some people first before I gave it the green light which is why I asked for your opinion.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m just scared the guy will go to the cops if you tie him up, where he probably wouldn’t for just a simple fight.

[SachaBrown]

I can understand that concern but I highly doubt he'll be telling anyone if he does. Besides, I don't really think it's illegal.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s def illegal to tie somebody up. But as long as he doesn’t tell anybody you’re good.

[SachaBrown]

Yeah, it's worth a shot I suppose. He won't be able to tell anyone if he has duct tape over his mouth hahahaha.

[WhitneySnow]

Okay lol

[SachaBrown]

Do you think this is all deserved?

[WhitneySnow]

I think it is yeah

[SachaBrown]

That's a relief to hear, thank you. I'm gonna be honest, it will be hilarious seeing him all tied up.

[WhitneySnow]

Good luck 😊

[SachaBrown]

Thanks, I may also take some sly photos of him tied just to remember the occasion hahaha.

[WhitneySnow]

Good luck. Don’t get in trouble 😊

[SachaBrown]

Thank you, I'll try haha

[In_Trance]

stop talking to him

[SachaBrown]

I don't want to talk to him but my boyfriend does and I just wanna stop them from tearing each other apart

[In_Trance]

Let those knuckleheads figure it out

[SachaBrown]

What if someone gets hurt?

[In_Trance]

That's their problem

[SachaBrown]

Isn't there a way I can restrain my brother from fighting?

[In_Trance]

I guess that depends on how skilled your brother is at fighting and how well you can intelligently defend yourself

[SachaBrown]

What do you mean by "intelligently defend?"

[In_Trance]

I mean if you got into a physical altercation with him do you know how to defend yourself?

[SachaBrown]

Ummmm, good question, I'm not sure. What would be a good way to intelligently defend without hurting him?

[In_Trance]

It doesn't work that way. If you don't know you're better to walk away from this

[SachaBrown]

My boyfriend probably knows, he's strong and a good fighter. What would you recommend him to do?

[In_Trance]

I would recommend you read my very first response