Is it normal that I resent my friend for this?

[Anonymous]

My friend started dating a man at 15 who was in his 30s. They stayed together for about 5 years. He lied to her about his age, being married, having children, sleeping with other women etc. She continues to insist that they were in a committed serious relationship. When she’s with him, she lies to you, ditches you, acts like you don’t exist, uses you to get to him (say let’s hang out at a club but it’s really a club she knows he might be at), even lies about her whereabouts. I’ve been honest with her about my feelings towards the situation throughout our lives. We are now in our late 20s and she has recently begun seeing him again. I notice the same patterns in how she treats me and her other friends starting again. When we try to call her on it, she accuses us of being jealous of their relationship or make it seem like we don’t like her boyfriend. Really the problem we have is her. She would throw us out in a second to be with him and tbh it’s hurtful esp considering the way this man has treated her. All our other friends have long abandoned her and I’m still around with hate for her inside me

[Sparkie460]

You have every right to resent her for how she treats you and your friends. You tried to help her. If she wants to be mixed up in the love triangle, let her. Just don't take her back when she falls. She's got to learn her lesson

[boggboss]

At this point its your fault for putting up with it and expecting different

[WhitneySnow]

I think you’re crushing on her. You need to just be her friend and support her.

[Asker]

I’m gay!

[WhitneySnow]

Why do you hate her then?

[Asker]

I don’t hate her. I have some resentment for her. That’s why I asked the question here. I’m not sure why I have the resentment

[WhitneySnow]

You shouldn’t resent her. You should be supportive of her. I’m not sure why you resent her.

[In_Trance]

Get over it

[Asker]

She’s not my crush. I’m gay

[In_Trance]

Then none of this should matter to begin with

[Asker]

Well we’re very close. I’m her closest friend and she’s my closest friend. We grew up together. We’re like siblings. It hurts to have her put someone who treats her poorly before me and her family. How does that not matter?

[In_Trance]

You're kidding me right? If you're not in a relationship with her then be her friend and that's where it ends. She wants a relationship and you can't feel that void. She doesn't owe you an explanation as to why she chooses who she does nor do you get a say in the matter. You accept her for who she is and whatever bullshit she brings into her life because that's what friends do. Maybe you're not a good as friend to her as you believe you are