What are your friendship dealbreakers?

Question

People usually talk about their relationship and dating dealbreakers but people also have friendship dealbreakers. It seems like they're not spoken about as much as dating and relationship dealbreakers. What are your reasons for choosing not to be friends with someone or to stop being friends with someone?

SaartjieJane · Accepted Answer

Someone who judges others or makes others feel bad about themselves or is two faced (nice to peoples face and rude behind their back)
Someone who cancels last minute on me and lies.
Someone who will leave while we’re out to go hang out with someone else and will lie about it.
Someone who lies to me for no reason about any and everything.
Someone who doesn’t listen, they can come you me to talk and tell me all their drama and I listen but then I talk and they’re on their phone not listening, don’t care to listen and just go “mhm, yeah”
Someone who sits on their phone the whole time when we’re out.
Someone who makes plans with me and then invites out people without even telling me or even asking me.
Someone who tells other my personal life stuff or things I told them and asked to keep it to themselves.
Someone who makes me feel shit about myself because they’re insecure and try make me feel the way they do.
Someone who makes bad choices (cheats, lies to their partner/family/friends)
Someone who only goes through with plans because they have nothing to do or someone else ditched them.
Someone who goes after a guy I literally told them I like
Someone who goes after a guy that shows interested in me
Someone who doesn’t stick up for me when other talk bad about me or cause shit
Someone who just wants to drink, go for a drive, party, sleep around is a big no.
Someone who makes plans with you but then puts a timer on, so “hey let’s go out”, you go out and they say “I have to leave in 20” and then you literally cannot even do anything other than order a drink and by that time it’s a wast because they’re on their damn phone the whole time and don’t even care to listen to you unless they want to say something

I want a calm friendship, one where you go for picnics together or to the beach to watch the sun set or go watch a movie or a walk or shopping, etc. One where you’re practically family, where all you do with them is laugh. They actually put time and effort into the friendship. They care about how you feel and they too hate fighting.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Copycats
Gossip
Lack of respect
Lack of respect for boundaries
Lack of communication
Selfishness
Shows envy towards me or other people
Untrustworthy
Zero honesty
Canceling plans the last minute
Back handed compliments
Comparing themselves to others or to me
Lack of sense of self
Lack of self identity
Severe Anger issues
GASLIGHTING and manipulation tactics
Boyfriend stealers
The “I’ll make plans with everyone else but YOU” type
Forcefully wanting to set you up with people you’re not even the slight bit interested in just because they feel and that you don’t have a boyfriend
Etc.

When I tell y’all I’m traumatized I mean I’m ✨TRAUMATIZED✨

Gringothegango · Accepted Answer

That Friend that is always the nicest , says to you you can trust him.
Next thing you know befriends your crush and tells her all the things you told him about her.(stalky behavior, weird things said , and so on )
THAT S A REAL FRIEND
next thing you know he s Best friend with the girl and the girl in question looks you Weird , creep.
Although you’re not more of a creep than Him.
Life is shit be careful boyz and girlz.

—> Never trust anybody with things that can hurt bad , always stay on superficial topics.(beCause really who gives a shit about someone else reflexion on a subject , 100 of people already have had this reflexion , as far as i know it s more of an opinion than absolut truth) so yeah i rather educate myself the best i can , than hear you re approximations on a subject (this depends to who you speak but you see the point )

example : the abortions vs prolife
one side is GOD EXIST and killing is bad , because human , blblba -> on their side the argument is valid
On rhe abortion side the argument is also valid
All comes down to what you put in front of one other. So why speak about it when you know actually don’t give a shit about your opinion.

DrewJay · Accepted Answer

It's hard to say necaise I have lived many differnt types of lives mostly bad. Finally I have one I can call who I really am but a long the road I learned nothing is so cut and dry as a lie notbing is as simple as a betrayal to the person feeling the betrayal. Life isn't so simple to answer a question like this. We aren't simple creatures acting on impulse seeking survival ane gratification like simpler life forms with much smaller cellur strictures. So why is it when people ask a question that requirs an answer that neglects the the why, where, how and why and labels with no understanding. Any ways some times good people act bad and to throw away a person lime I read a lot of you say for so little and probably dont know why other than you got offended and hurt really. I am getting of this platform for a few hours. Do know I respect you all I dont always have to respect every one of your choices, thoughts or actions to still reapect and like you.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Moastly I am easy to get along with and I care broadly even if there's no reason to.
So I can be a your friend but it takes more to be a close friend.

I have a hard time tolerating:
- Gossip
- Prejudice
- Judementality
- Manipulation
- Overwhelming negativity
- Overblown Pride

But like, most of these things I will at first signal my dislike or share my perspective on with them. If they persist in this activity I exclude them from my friendship.
So it's not like I see a red flag and run, no I try not to judge until I know it wasn't just a moment.

Guccigabbana18 · Answer

- Bullies other people (obviously)

- Two-faced to others (they are probably also like that to you when your back is turned and shows they’re untrustworthy)

- Talks badly about other people and rarely has good things to say

- judgmental (judges others outfits, appearance, shallow stuff)

- If they talk about their past friends, if they say that ALL their ex friends or exes were in the wrong, and don’t tell me how they contributed to the friendship breakup, that’s a red flag that this person doesn’t take accountability for themselves

Blackcosmo · Answer

Too clingy: I can't have alone time with myself or with my family and other people because they demand my attention 24/7)
Too pushy: They dare me to do things I don't want to do then blackmail me if I say no. This happened with my ex best friend. She was an utter nightmare and demon.
Rude to other people: If they're nice to people she knows well and is disrespectful to random people (who are being normal).
Disrespectful towards people's beliefs or backgrounds: They make fun of people's race, religion, language etc.
Irresponsible: They show up late or don't show up and don't care about anyone but themselves.
There's more but this is all I can remember at the top of my head.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

One thing is making fun of my beliefs and morals - that is a huge turn off for me or trying to exploit me financially by taking what they do not need, or not taking my time and money and effort and seriously - like I got annoyed with a guy cause he asked me to meet him at a restaurant when I was jobless and than leaves less than 40 minutes after I order my food, if I pay almost $20 for lunch, I expect to spend enough time at the place to compensate me for what I paid for it, especially when I’m broke. I dumped another friend for showing up late multiple times cause I my time is valuable.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

LOL A friend of mine who I used to hike with, over 15 years ago, talked a lot about weird stuff. Plus, he was always trying to fix me up with the waitress at a restaurant that we used to go to after hiking. The combination of the "weird talk" and him trying to fix me up with the waitress all the time (when I told him not to), made me inclined to not hang out with him anymore.

Ironically, I moved into a new neighborhood a few years ago, and he is living here just a few blocks from me! He has seen me but apparently he hasn't recognized me yet!

Hopelessromantic53 · Answer

Hmmm that's a really good question.
I'm in the stage of my life when i really wanna make lasting friendships.
I've been observing people a lot because of that, so i think i can answer you quite well.
If someone is a shallow person, that doesn't really see and acknowledge the deeper things in life; if someone can't appreciate art of any sorts, if someone has a massive ego, if someone is disrespectful; these are literally the biggest giveaways of someone i wouldn't wanna be friends with.
Ooh and if someone's a dry texter, I'm out before he or she says hi.
That's a huge deal breaker for me, i don't know why. It's annoying, because I'm all cheery and funny over text, but then the other person doesn't reciprocate those actions so i feel like a fool.

Yu.. yeah that's pretty much it. I could actually go on and on but this is not the place lol

Hope it helped. God bless ya

Anonymous · Answer

If they financially support or promote the Republican party, I don't care to be friends with them.

Reason is simple, how can you say that you support me as a transwomen, then turn around and support a group who actively try to strip me of my rights and wouldn't mind (and some have promoted) seeing me die, executed even.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, albeit wrongheaded, but I also am entitled to not provide any emotional, physical, financial, or social support to those who support those who'd see me dead.

ColoradoKid · Answer

Oh wow that's a good question. There are a few every one will agree with.

A person who is always one upping you.. I. E. You get a simple bird feeder.. They get one made like the Queens house in England. You have a BBQ and they get invited and they say "oh why did you get such a small grill?"

People who are sketchy with out trying or noticing.

The person who gets mad at you for cancelling the poker night because your wife is sick.

Some one who "borrows" all the time and keeps your chainsaw and never repays money.

A person who says that says that they are cool with something and they really are not.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m going through a dealbreaker right now. My friend of 10+ years started ignoring my messages
, she took over a month to reply to me. Her excuse was that she’s busy and also not doing okay mentally. I totally understood that. However; it’s been a cycle for a year now. I’d see her with other people while she’s ignoring me. Then she’ll never reply to my texts whenever I ask how she’s been. Instead, she’ll reach out to me whenever she wants a favor done. After I help her she’ll continue ignoring me again. I don’t even get a simple thank you. So yeah I hate feeling used and that was the dealbreaker for me.

fonduegirl · Answer

If they're possessive in a toxic way.
If they think I'm going to steal their partners. If they judge my dressing style like a mean girl or something. If they're transphobic or homophobic. If they're antifeminist. If they shit talk fiction and fictional characters. If they are narrow minded. If they're bullies. If they're boring.

Biancam13 · Answer

If they are bitchy
If they are male-attention-identified
If they go after my boyfriend, someone I like or am talking to on purpose. Or if they do this to another woman
If I get competitive or envious vibes from them
If they are openly mean or rude to other people

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

*people that only make time for you when they need or want something from you...
*Liars-It's hard for me to be friends with you, if I can't trust you...
*People that expect you to always be there for them when they're going through something, but you can't count on them to be there for you when you're going through something...
*Narcissism*Sexist/racist

DizzyDesii · Answer

Dont flirt/date/etc with my current dude, future dude (crush), or my exes. They broke all those rules as did I 🤣 I suck when it comes to female friends. And as for guy friends, have my back over any guy who wrongs me and think of me as if I were a blood sibling, dont flirt with me. They broke those rules too lmao. Fck friends

Dontaaaa · Answer

Lying so much to the point that I can't even trust anything you say anymore, so yeah, basically excessive lying is on my list now.

Stealing from me is also on that list.

I had to let go of my now exbestfriend because of both of these things.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Being dishonest and fake. If I call you friend, I'm putting time, effort and soul in to it and if I don't see it returned to the best of your ability, there's already a problem. And I don't mean like I'll spend money on you for food and whatever and I expect you to do the same, not everyone can afford to do that and that's fine; I mean like not even being grateful and stuff like that. And of course dishonesty. Don't lie to me

SkyCastle90 · Answer

1. Trauma dumping.
2. Lying.
3. Being abusive toward their spouse/partner, child, waiters/staff, etc.
4. Stealing.
5. Putting others down.
6. Not taking "No" for an answer.
7. Purposely crossing boundaries.
8. Extremely Judgmental.
9. Narcissism
10. Underhanded comments/compliments.

Anytime I noticed just one of two of these, I start to distance myself.

luxxoxo · Answer

A friend not keeping a promise. My friend talking about me behind my back, someone who manipulates you into saying something by making up a story and trying to get something out of you. A friend who pretends to be your friend but literally is jealous of you.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Liar 🤥 I tried to make someone a friend but they keep lying 🤥 and I cannot stand that… and those who copy you a lot and shower you with fake flattery but stabs you in the back when they can. Also, you cannot be friends with people who want your life. No way

TwiNshichamp1 · Answer

1) When Iam being treated like a shit and make fun of. If this continues for a long time I quit the friendship as soon as possible👎🏾 2) when someone feels Jealous about me this is also the sign they will fight with you when closer, better put him/her in haters side and know how to deal with them.
Anyone who hurts my feelings I put him/her in 🗑️

InsertNameHerex · Answer

-Lack of loyalty (spreads rumours, talks behind your back, tries to date your boyfriend etc)
-no respect for others (I’m not gonna be friends with an asshole I’d be embarrassed)
-different morals (I’m not gonna be friends with someone who thinks pedophilia is ok whoops)

BHooper · Answer

Breaking my trust is probably the biggest one but hypocrisy is a close second. I'm a people pleaser and I've given too many second chances to people who really did not deserve them; its something I need to work on. But when I finally put those friendships under the microscope I saw that they'd break my trust often and were very hypocritical. Now that I have ended them I can safely say my life is extremely more enjoyable.

Brandi555 · Answer

You don’t have to tell me all your secrets. You don’t have to agree with everything I do. You don’t always have to be there for me. You don’t need me to approve of your choices. If I call you my friend, I will love you and support you. DO NOT BETRAY ME.

dragoblack · Answer

Breaking my trust, toxic behavior, willfull ignorance, insulting & threatening my friends & family, actually believing conspiracy theories, making up conspiracy theories that they believe, being manipulative, and can't have any kind of conversation with them.

melanieeeB · Answer

The same with dating, disrespect is the biggest dealbreaker... basically everything that is not good for me and bringing me down, like also intense mental health problems out of my experience

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I usually avoid toxic people, the low life like those who trys to fuck up life for someone else and think they are the next Elon. And the ones that lie extremly too much.

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

Being two faced and bitchy. If they are constantly talking shit about others no doubt they are talking shit about me.  I only want positive friends who bring each other up not down.

Kabluie · Answer

bigotry, racism, or just being an overly unpleasant to be around, that's about it.

Moose304 · Answer

In my world, friendship is cultivated over decades. They are organic. What this means is I have no deal breakers because if you are not somebody I am comfortable being around we will never be friends to start with.

JustiReno · Answer

I don’t really tolerate anyone - I have very few people I call friends and I never see them, they more like “fam” I known them so long. And “no new friends” really is a way to live what someone want to be your friend for they needy?

RedStealthOperative · Answer

Basically if you're not trustworthy, you're not friendworthy. I'd also appreciate if they were respectful of my morals and values even if they disagreed with them.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If they say their my friend but their text messaging pattern is horrible then I might consider to be distant from them and just let them go on with their life instead of wasting my time.

Still-alive · Answer

My big one now is if they are flakes. like you'll agree to meet a few times and they always have some excuse to back out of it. i had a friend who constantly did this and i couldn't take it anymore.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

People who go against the mainstream just so as they're unique.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If they are religious, stupid, malevolent, smell horrid, are pompous/stuck up, egotistical, judgey of preferences, boring, not funny, or don't share my interests and hobbies, I tend to avoid them.

_no_one_ · Answer

Whenever i feel like people just trynna use me in the name of friendship that's it i get distant from them without a word, coz i bet those mfs know why.

Marshymallow · Answer

Narcissists People who talk to much/ super loud  Show offs  and people who lie all the freaking time

RicFlair312 · Answer

Individuals that's a negative Nancy, people who think they're better than everyone else, narrow-minded individuals, Narcissistic , etc

Anonymous · Answer

Insensitive, controlling, narcissistic, a liar. Once had a friend who was all of these things i tried to see her good side but i ended up letting that friendship go for good. Happy with my choice.

888theGreat · Answer

liberal vs conservative , because no way can opposites be friends. It will come up all the time.

Wild_princess · Answer

At this point... if the person is not willing to give love as much as i give... then its a deal breaker for me...

myabe123 · Answer

I have a pretty low bar for friends. I was friends with drug partners in highschool. Wouldn’t go down that road again or ones who are trying to sleep with my poi

invalid1 · Answer

"Did you hear what that guy did?" (Gossip)

xJayleenx · Answer

Ditching, lying, gossiping badly about other people, etc.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

1. Disrespectful 2. Take part in rumors 3. Talks too much 4. Doesn't respect space 5. Always have issues with people.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't ever assume the worst about me - if I'm your friend I deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I won't be friends with anyone who solicits prostitutes or who cheats on their partner.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Gossipping, talking shit, generally being unpleasant.

JakeS00 · Answer

Someone who is rude thinks they're a hot shot, or has no humor.

Lisa0203 · Answer

Good question honestly if some isn't honest with you, or if they are too rude. You want people to be thoughtful of you when possible.

Mark987 · Answer

Someone that doesn't support you in what you do.. That doesn't give you helpful advice... and that isn't there when you need it most

Babygirl_S · Answer

I can't be friends with someone who talks bad about me behind my back.

Lycanthropic · Answer

If every time I see them they always talk about something negative.

loveslongnails · Answer

The support of stupidity and the unwillingness to rid oneself of it.

BareTruth · Answer

If they are manipulative and narcissistic then it’s a hard no for me

JenniferBiArizona · Answer

I hate drama and also if all they do is put me down, so they feel better about themselves

Jamesshinobi · Answer

if they dont have 20,000 USD in savings, we can't be friends. you will need me more than i will want to help l, and you will be far to stupid for me to help if i wanted too.

driven159 · Answer

lying saying shit behind my back and just being an asshole

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

Pronoun people and anyone who thinks the life of a chicken or a fish is more important than people starving it’s a fucking chicken and a fish

Better_off_here · Answer

anyone that lies to me and breaks promises and one who does not care at all about me as a person.

TheAfrikan · Answer

As long as they are not loyal then i cannot call them friends.

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