Dad brings food to only his child, ignoring the moms other kids, Is he right or wrong?

Question

This is a big debate on Facebook right now.

So basically this dad brought McDonald’s for his kid, but didn’t bring any food for the other 3 children there. The mom went off on him and told him that now her other kids are going to feel left out and that he can’t bring food for one child and not the others.

Some people agree with the mom while others are saying that it’s not his responsibility to bring food to kids that aren’t his.

Personally, I would bring food to all the kids whether they’re my kids or not. 🤷‍♂️

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't have kids, but just reading that, I could NOT be in this relationship, because let's say it develops into something more than just something casual, would this guy be so petty as to not bring food for the other kids because they aren't his? Keep in mind...always keep in mind in these situations...it is not the kids fault what their parents or not parents have done in their lives...they are just kids whom I can only assume get hungry too, so as the adult, you're basically telling the other kids, they are not worthy to eat like the other kid and it could eventually put the kids at odds with each other which is not something you want to do.

Honestly, knowing someone has kids means you take on whatever that means when you start dating them (this goes for women too!!!) I think it's stupid to think your kid or their kids live in some type of vacuum where interaction doesn't happen and if you feel that way as a man, that oh hell no, you'll be damned to take care of anyone elses kids, please make that clear up front and don't date women with kids.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

saw this video. he's in the right. he only has ONE kid. where she has THREE other ones, not including his. he is only responsible for one kid. and they are broken up anyways. so i don't see why she is bitching. she needs to better herself and get a better job instead of being on food stamps. sorry if that's harsh but... woman you have 4 kids. and in this inflation you really expect this guy you broke up with will pay for everyone? even if it is fast food, that money adds up... also, if you have 4 kids from multiple dad's... you need to wake up. i can see why she keeps losing her kid's father figures. the way she acts right in that video. i'm pretty sure she's done that 3 other times. so sad... feel bad for all the kids for being raised by this woman.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

A relative of mine had an ex like this.. he worked himself to death to provide for his 1 kid and her 2 other kids. Making sure they had laptops for school, food, clothes, and everything. But he had a hard time finding a job so then he killed himself. I really believe that he did it because he knew she would get over $1k/month from his social security as the mother of his kid if he was dead. He had a kind heart but that was way too much simping. WAY too much.

Back to your question: Sounds like she was wrong for getting knocked up by a bunch of dads who don't provide for THEIR kids and/or that she is too broke to provide for HER kids. Also if he knew she had a talent for popping out other dude's babies and never finding a guy who thought she's worth sticking with, he should have thought long and hard about impregnating her.

It's too bad he can't get 100% custody of his kid and that whenever he gives her money for her kids she can go spent half or all of it on shoes, purses, and lunches with her girlfriends.

Belgie · Accepted Answer

Not knowing the circumstances I think it's wrong to judge.

For example, let's say the couple is divorced, she has 3 kids aged over 16 and his kid is 6. He knows the mother is trying to turn his 6 year old against him and he's no interest in making the teens like him. He buys his kid a Happy Meal as a treat.

Circumstances like that? I'm totally on his side.

I could just as easily posit circumstances where I'd be on her side. But not having the info, means I'm not judging him.

BlackBeauty90 · Answer

This is the problem when men (and women) get involved with people that have pre existing children. I am not saying that all parents with children behave like this.

But in today's age where it is an increasing norm to have multiple children with multiple different partners it is far safer NOT to get involved with single parents. To be extremely blunt they are oftentimes not worth the bother. And are single parents for a reason.

Woman in video after all was revealed as good-for-nothing - a useless welfare tramp that only had children because each one was more money for her to spend on herself.

CountessSarah · Answer

I saw this clip earlier.
The problem isn't that he's only buying for his kid - it's that he's dropping off the food at the mum's place for the kid to eat in front of the siblings. That's the dick move part.
If he was taking the kid out he could do whatever, but dropping off the food is unfair to the other kids. They won't understand why they're being treated unfairly and may resent the one kid for getting something they did not.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I do think it's rude, tbh.
But that's what i was taught as a child.
To not do that, unless you have enough for everybody.
He is not obligated to bring food for other kids though.
If we weren't together I'd prefer it if he let me know what he was doing ahead of time. Then I'd just zelle him the money for the other kids so they don't feel left out.

My sister was temporarily taking care of two other kids aside from my nieces and nephews. When I was getting souvenirs I got the other two kids stuff as well so they wouldn't feel left out 🤷🏾‍♀️
And this is coming from someone who doesn't like kids, lol.

DaveJord · Answer

I mean there's so many baby mama's out there... this why I don't date women with kids. They ain't my kids and I don't want to get involved with women were kids can get hurt.

But you act like buying McDonald's is cheap bro... it ain't! Buying McDonald's for like 6 people could cost you well over $50 to $80 bucks these days. So if he can't afford that... then why the heck should his kids have to go without, because she can't take care of her kids.

I mean is she ever going out buying McDonald's for everyone... or is only him. If he did buy for all is she paying back or eating fir free? If she is then yeah its only right he does to... but if she isn't, then she needs to find a better man and shut it.

NathanDavis · Answer

there are many details missing... so I cannot make any judgment on this

what's really wrong though, is that both parents do not seem to have communicated or agreed in advance about this particular situation...

personally, I would have brought food for everyone, because that's how I was raised as well... friends, neighbors, relatives, anything... if the situation is that your kid is going to enjoy a meal while they are right there with other kids, then you just offer them all, that's just how we do it here, lol

DoctorSex · Answer

Another story that tells a deeper story of the degradation of society.
This is no different for me than the abortion question.
Should a man morally take responsibility for a child from conception. Should a woman morally be sleeping around before marriage is the initial question.
Should a man buy happy meals for children that aren't his, the real question is, should a woman morally have multiple baby father's but no husband?

One comes before the other.

Reminds me of the Bible, the initial sin was done by eve, but because Adam took part in it later, he was to blame... because for some reason, god of the Bible sees men as a superior force?

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

Seinna · Answer

It's absolutely not his responsibility to be bringing food for the other kids... in fact, I'd feel strange about it if I was the mother.

That being said - he should have enough sense not to bring food for only one kid out of four and rather take his kid out to eat.

Yes, he's not responsible for the other kids but he also doesn't have to be inconsiderate and make things awkward for everyone involved, including his own kid. They are just children after all, how would he feel if his kid was left out and the only one not eating McDonalds while his siblings got it from their parent?

You just need a little bit of imagination and you can manouver this situation fairly easily. As it is, it can potentially create resentment among the siblings and as an adults he should be able to predict it.

Oigit · Answer

He is only responsible for his kid. But if his kid is the only one getting it and eating in front of the other kid that is going to cause some issues between the kids. So instead of dropping it off it would be better to simply take his kid to Mcdonald's. In the end though her other kids are not his responsibility. So she still wouldn't have a leg to stand on if he didn't take her other kids to Mcdonald's with his.

Also the entire mess is a prime example of why people need to stop being so stupid about sex.

Red-Blaze · Answer

He shuld not do that, if he dose not want to bring food to everyone that is fine, but he needs to take the kid out for it
Not only for the outher kids but for the kid him self, this is a great way to make your kid an outcast in the family his in

I dont know the exsact case here I am giving a genrual idea

I do think its fine he cares only for his kid, but it shuld not be infront of thhe outhers, he dose not need to care for them but he needs to be decent to not create an issue for his own kid, the mother and the outher kids

jshm2 · Answer

You mean "step dad" as that is what the case is, and why the argument gets shut down real quick.

He may be banging the mom, and helping raise his step kids. But his kid takes precedence, and he's not being a Reddit asshole about it. As unlike the Reddit assholes he understands he needs to set boundaries, not create drama and intrigue.

He's also showing he's got more big dick energy than all the women and most of the men on Reddit, to stand by his principles.

Whether it was a bag of candy or McDonalds crap, it doesn't matter. The mother could have just ordered on the McDonalds app if she wanted to match.

TruthBringer · Answer

Ok here is the thing:

The whole "It's not his kids so not his responsibility" argument isn't valid here because HE made the choice to be in a relationship with a single mother with kids not his own. This would only be valid if they weren't in a relationship. And by that standard, the mother has the right to be mad. If you're willingly becoming a stepfather, then do it right. I would side with him if SHE has been doing the same thing to HIS kids. Then her complaining would make her a hypocrite. Anyway, once you start dating a single parent, then you're assigning yourself the job to provide for kids not your own. This is one of the reasons why I will never date single mothers.

Datboi65 · Answer

Not his business. He pays child support for one, not all four of them. Women like her need to get off food stamps and get a real job that they have to put effort in, then they would understand why it's not his business to afford to pay for all 3 other kids that ain't his in the first place. Maybe her priorities were to not spread her legs to 4 different men, that way she wouldn't be into this.

Ladies, don't try to pin this on the most responsible baby father out of all of them if you do not let the other men pay for shit.

MCheetah · Answer

Why should he be obligated to raise other dad's children? What kind of sh*t is that? Instead of giving the dad respect, they're sh*tting on him for not being a cuck to kids that aren't even his? If he's bringing McDonalds to his kids, he's clearly not made of money. Not to mention, he's probably paying child support. Why doesn't social media get on these other dads for not being there? The whiners on social media can get f*cked.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

For something as trivial as McDonald's, I would say he's atleadt obligated to buying extra fries so his kid can 'share' with his siblings, particularly if they are all 12 or younger.

This 'I only take care of my own' is selfish behavior that affects the relationship his son will have with his siblings intentionally or not. If they are young, they do not know better and will literally start fighting and throwing tantrums and it would have been better if the father did nothing.

If the kids are all older like 13 , they're old enough to understand this behavior and it's more okay because they are able to comprehend why.

But can you imagine the fights that could result between four 5 year Olds over 1 burger? It's petty, it's selfish, and makes parenting on the mom so much harder.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

That would be like having your kids friend stay over and then not feeding them dinner or breakfast because they aren't your kid.

It's common sense really if you're gonna go see your kid and bring them lunch and they have step siblings it's only fair to get them something to eat too.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Food costs money. Maybe if the woman reimbursed him, then yeah? I mean, he technically doesn't have any legal responsibility for the children that aren't his.

I'm with the dad on this one. She's a ho! .. If she wants to give her other children food, then have THEIR dad's foot the bill! Why is it 1/3 of your baby daddy's problem? He didn't create that problem of having a child with three different men, YOU did! ! !

On another note: "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

Anonymous · Answer

Ok I have seen way to much of this. This constant guilt tripping people into giving more. Then asking for help to guilt trip him more if he doesn't cave.

Why do parents have to make all that drama between each other and say its about their kids, they are being childish. If we are adults we will be grateful and always mindful of ways to cope with what might not fit exactly.

Is the father giving?
Is the father doing what he can for his child?
Is the father included or left out?
Does the mother say thank you for any small gift?
Is the mother wanting/demanding more?
Is the mother able to deal with a situation that is not EXACTLY how she wants it?
Is she demanding from others to change to make her responsibilities easier?
Through all the fighting does the father keep giving?
Are there other options? Could the meal be included with the family meal? Could it be divided up among the children?
How does the mother's attitude affect the children?

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

The baby momma clearly knows he is doing this daily, she can give him money to do it for the others, give him cash in advance and tell him what to get the others.

Sounds to me like she is expecting him to feed the others at his expense though.

He has no obligation to crotch goblins that aren't his. How the others feel, not his concern.

BCA6010 · Answer

Is he normally part of the lives of those other kids? I can almost guarantee the mother would be screaming that he's undermining her as a parent if he just randomly brought them all food.

If I were in his shoes, I probably would bring food for everyone but I can definitely see his side.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Badly handled.

he should have said what he was going to do and then sorted with the mum or tbh any other adult there.

yeah check if kids actually want one, restrict what they can have to basics, some may not want.

it’s also a great way for that kid to become excluded from whatever the other kids are doing, would be like”enjoy your food we are going to do xyz and you ain’t invited”

Dad brings food to only his child, ignoring the moms other kids, Is he right or wrong?

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