Dad brings food to only his child, ignoring the moms other kids, Is he right or wrong?

Question

This is a big debate on Facebook right now.

So basically this dad brought McDonald’s for his kid, but didn’t bring any food for the other 3 children there. The mom went off on him and told him that now her other kids are going to feel left out and that he can’t bring food for one child and not the others.

Some people agree with the mom while others are saying that it’s not his responsibility to bring food to kids that aren’t his.

Personally, I would bring food to all the kids whether they’re my kids or not. 🤷‍♂️

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't have kids, but just reading that, I could NOT be in this relationship, because let's say it develops into something more than just something casual, would this guy be so petty as to not bring food for the other kids because they aren't his? Keep in mind...always keep in mind in these situations...it is not the kids fault what their parents or not parents have done in their lives...they are just kids whom I can only assume get hungry too, so as the adult, you're basically telling the other kids, they are not worthy to eat like the other kid and it could eventually put the kids at odds with each other which is not something you want to do.

Honestly, knowing someone has kids means you take on whatever that means when you start dating them (this goes for women too!!!) I think it's stupid to think your kid or their kids live in some type of vacuum where interaction doesn't happen and if you feel that way as a man, that oh hell no, you'll be damned to take care of anyone elses kids, please make that clear up front and don't date women with kids.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

saw this video. he's in the right. he only has ONE kid. where she has THREE other ones, not including his. he is only responsible for one kid. and they are broken up anyways. so i don't see why she is bitching. she needs to better herself and get a better job instead of being on food stamps. sorry if that's harsh but... woman you have 4 kids. and in this inflation you really expect this guy you broke up with will pay for everyone? even if it is fast food, that money adds up... also, if you have 4 kids from multiple dad's... you need to wake up. i can see why she keeps losing her kid's father figures. the way she acts right in that video. i'm pretty sure she's done that 3 other times. so sad... feel bad for all the kids for being raised by this woman.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

A relative of mine had an ex like this.. he worked himself to death to provide for his 1 kid and her 2 other kids. Making sure they had laptops for school, food, clothes, and everything. But he had a hard time finding a job so then he killed himself. I really believe that he did it because he knew she would get over $1k/month from his social security as the mother of his kid if he was dead. He had a kind heart but that was way too much simping. WAY too much.

Back to your question: Sounds like she was wrong for getting knocked up by a bunch of dads who don't provide for THEIR kids and/or that she is too broke to provide for HER kids. Also if he knew she had a talent for popping out other dude's babies and never finding a guy who thought she's worth sticking with, he should have thought long and hard about impregnating her.

It's too bad he can't get 100% custody of his kid and that whenever he gives her money for her kids she can go spent half or all of it on shoes, purses, and lunches with her girlfriends.

Belgie · Accepted Answer

Not knowing the circumstances I think it's wrong to judge.

For example, let's say the couple is divorced, she has 3 kids aged over 16 and his kid is 6. He knows the mother is trying to turn his 6 year old against him and he's no interest in making the teens like him. He buys his kid a Happy Meal as a treat.

Circumstances like that? I'm totally on his side.

I could just as easily posit circumstances where I'd be on her side. But not having the info, means I'm not judging him.

BlackBeauty90 · Answer

This is the problem when men (and women) get involved with people that have pre existing children. I am not saying that all parents with children behave like this.

But in today's age where it is an increasing norm to have multiple children with multiple different partners it is far safer NOT to get involved with single parents. To be extremely blunt they are oftentimes not worth the bother. And are single parents for a reason.

Woman in video after all was revealed as good-for-nothing - a useless welfare tramp that only had children because each one was more money for her to spend on herself.

CountessSarah · Answer

I saw this clip earlier.
The problem isn't that he's only buying for his kid - it's that he's dropping off the food at the mum's place for the kid to eat in front of the siblings. That's the dick move part.
If he was taking the kid out he could do whatever, but dropping off the food is unfair to the other kids. They won't understand why they're being treated unfairly and may resent the one kid for getting something they did not.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I do think it's rude, tbh.
But that's what i was taught as a child.
To not do that, unless you have enough for everybody.
He is not obligated to bring food for other kids though.
If we weren't together I'd prefer it if he let me know what he was doing ahead of time. Then I'd just zelle him the money for the other kids so they don't feel left out.

My sister was temporarily taking care of two other kids aside from my nieces and nephews. When I was getting souvenirs I got the other two kids stuff as well so they wouldn't feel left out 🤷🏾‍♀️
And this is coming from someone who doesn't like kids, lol.

DaveJord · Answer

I mean there's so many baby mama's out there... this why I don't date women with kids. They ain't my kids and I don't want to get involved with women were kids can get hurt.

But you act like buying McDonald's is cheap bro... it ain't! Buying McDonald's for like 6 people could cost you well over $50 to $80 bucks these days. So if he can't afford that... then why the heck should his kids have to go without, because she can't take care of her kids.

I mean is she ever going out buying McDonald's for everyone... or is only him. If he did buy for all is she paying back or eating fir free? If she is then yeah its only right he does to... but if she isn't, then she needs to find a better man and shut it.

NathanDavis · Answer

there are many details missing... so I cannot make any judgment on this

what's really wrong though, is that both parents do not seem to have communicated or agreed in advance about this particular situation...

personally, I would have brought food for everyone, because that's how I was raised as well... friends, neighbors, relatives, anything... if the situation is that your kid is going to enjoy a meal while they are right there with other kids, then you just offer them all, that's just how we do it here, lol

DoctorSex · Answer

Another story that tells a deeper story of the degradation of society.
This is no different for me than the abortion question.
Should a man morally take responsibility for a child from conception. Should a woman morally be sleeping around before marriage is the initial question.
Should a man buy happy meals for children that aren't his, the real question is, should a woman morally have multiple baby father's but no husband?

One comes before the other.

Reminds me of the Bible, the initial sin was done by eve, but because Adam took part in it later, he was to blame... because for some reason, god of the Bible sees men as a superior force?

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

Seinna · Answer

It's absolutely not his responsibility to be bringing food for the other kids... in fact, I'd feel strange about it if I was the mother.

That being said - he should have enough sense not to bring food for only one kid out of four and rather take his kid out to eat.

Yes, he's not responsible for the other kids but he also doesn't have to be inconsiderate and make things awkward for everyone involved, including his own kid. They are just children after all, how would he feel if his kid was left out and the only one not eating McDonalds while his siblings got it from their parent?

You just need a little bit of imagination and you can manouver this situation fairly easily. As it is, it can potentially create resentment among the siblings and as an adults he should be able to predict it.

Oigit · Answer

He is only responsible for his kid. But if his kid is the only one getting it and eating in front of the other kid that is going to cause some issues between the kids. So instead of dropping it off it would be better to simply take his kid to Mcdonald's. In the end though her other kids are not his responsibility. So she still wouldn't have a leg to stand on if he didn't take her other kids to Mcdonald's with his.

Also the entire mess is a prime example of why people need to stop being so stupid about sex.

Red-Blaze · Answer

He shuld not do that, if he dose not want to bring food to everyone that is fine, but he needs to take the kid out for it
Not only for the outher kids but for the kid him self, this is a great way to make your kid an outcast in the family his in

I dont know the exsact case here I am giving a genrual idea

I do think its fine he cares only for his kid, but it shuld not be infront of thhe outhers, he dose not need to care for them but he needs to be decent to not create an issue for his own kid, the mother and the outher kids

jshm2 · Answer

You mean "step dad" as that is what the case is, and why the argument gets shut down real quick.

He may be banging the mom, and helping raise his step kids. But his kid takes precedence, and he's not being a Reddit asshole about it. As unlike the Reddit assholes he understands he needs to set boundaries, not create drama and intrigue.

He's also showing he's got more big dick energy than all the women and most of the men on Reddit, to stand by his principles.

Whether it was a bag of candy or McDonalds crap, it doesn't matter. The mother could have just ordered on the McDonalds app if she wanted to match.

TruthBringer · Answer

Ok here is the thing:

The whole "It's not his kids so not his responsibility" argument isn't valid here because HE made the choice to be in a relationship with a single mother with kids not his own. This would only be valid if they weren't in a relationship. And by that standard, the mother has the right to be mad. If you're willingly becoming a stepfather, then do it right. I would side with him if SHE has been doing the same thing to HIS kids. Then her complaining would make her a hypocrite. Anyway, once you start dating a single parent, then you're assigning yourself the job to provide for kids not your own. This is one of the reasons why I will never date single mothers.

Datboi65 · Answer

Not his business. He pays child support for one, not all four of them. Women like her need to get off food stamps and get a real job that they have to put effort in, then they would understand why it's not his business to afford to pay for all 3 other kids that ain't his in the first place. Maybe her priorities were to not spread her legs to 4 different men, that way she wouldn't be into this.

Ladies, don't try to pin this on the most responsible baby father out of all of them if you do not let the other men pay for shit.

MCheetah · Answer

Why should he be obligated to raise other dad's children? What kind of sh*t is that? Instead of giving the dad respect, they're sh*tting on him for not being a cuck to kids that aren't even his? If he's bringing McDonalds to his kids, he's clearly not made of money. Not to mention, he's probably paying child support. Why doesn't social media get on these other dads for not being there? The whiners on social media can get f*cked.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

For something as trivial as McDonald's, I would say he's atleadt obligated to buying extra fries so his kid can 'share' with his siblings, particularly if they are all 12 or younger.

This 'I only take care of my own' is selfish behavior that affects the relationship his son will have with his siblings intentionally or not. If they are young, they do not know better and will literally start fighting and throwing tantrums and it would have been better if the father did nothing.

If the kids are all older like 13 , they're old enough to understand this behavior and it's more okay because they are able to comprehend why.

But can you imagine the fights that could result between four 5 year Olds over 1 burger? It's petty, it's selfish, and makes parenting on the mom so much harder.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

That would be like having your kids friend stay over and then not feeding them dinner or breakfast because they aren't your kid.

It's common sense really if you're gonna go see your kid and bring them lunch and they have step siblings it's only fair to get them something to eat too.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Food costs money. Maybe if the woman reimbursed him, then yeah? I mean, he technically doesn't have any legal responsibility for the children that aren't his.

I'm with the dad on this one. She's a ho! .. If she wants to give her other children food, then have THEIR dad's foot the bill! Why is it 1/3 of your baby daddy's problem? He didn't create that problem of having a child with three different men, YOU did! ! !

On another note: "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

Anonymous · Answer

Ok I have seen way to much of this. This constant guilt tripping people into giving more. Then asking for help to guilt trip him more if he doesn't cave.

Why do parents have to make all that drama between each other and say its about their kids, they are being childish. If we are adults we will be grateful and always mindful of ways to cope with what might not fit exactly.

Is the father giving?
Is the father doing what he can for his child?
Is the father included or left out?
Does the mother say thank you for any small gift?
Is the mother wanting/demanding more?
Is the mother able to deal with a situation that is not EXACTLY how she wants it?
Is she demanding from others to change to make her responsibilities easier?
Through all the fighting does the father keep giving?
Are there other options? Could the meal be included with the family meal? Could it be divided up among the children?
How does the mother's attitude affect the children?

sage2021 · Answer

I wonder if the Mom was flat broke - otherwise she should have given him some money to pay for 3 more Happy Meals. Then all the kids could eat together.

Anonymous · Answer

As a nice gesture, I may do it a few times but not every time. Her kids are another man's kids, tell the current man you are with to buy them happy meals. It's different if I have a child and their friend comes over and there is food, I will offer. I'm willing to donate food or send food to less fortunate countries. But in these cases, I think the woman is wrong. Women who are quick to judge and say "he is morally wrong", please, whenever a girl rejects a proper guy, the guy will get scolded online, in person and by her with "she doesn't owe you anything, not even a convo". People need to stop labelling men as the monsters and women as saints.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

The baby momma clearly knows he is doing this daily, she can give him money to do it for the others, give him cash in advance and tell him what to get the others.

Sounds to me like she is expecting him to feed the others at his expense though.

He has no obligation to crotch goblins that aren't his. How the others feel, not his concern.

BCA6010 · Answer

Is he normally part of the lives of those other kids? I can almost guarantee the mother would be screaming that he's undermining her as a parent if he just randomly brought them all food.

If I were in his shoes, I probably would bring food for everyone but I can definitely see his side.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Badly handled.

he should have said what he was going to do and then sorted with the mum or tbh any other adult there.

yeah check if kids actually want one, restrict what they can have to basics, some may not want.

it’s also a great way for that kid to become excluded from whatever the other kids are doing, would be like”enjoy your food we are going to do xyz and you ain’t invited”

unknownforever · Answer

There's a difference between "having to do it" and "should do it". He doesn't have to go and buy the kids McDonalds. However, it is morally wrong. Whilst he owes them nothing, it's rude to only buy one happy meal. It's almost like going into someone's house and only buying food for yourself and eating it in front of them. Even if they don't want, it is rude not to offer. That is just my opinion though.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Kinda need more context. Are they married? Do they have some kind of understanding? Has she done something similar to set a precedent? Did he ask all the kids if they’re hungry and only one spoke up?
Last, why are you pulling from FB? Just let it die. It’s time.

MarkRet · Answer

This is where the hate starts. The kids who get ignored grow up with this, and maybe become a mass shooter? If the dad had some class, he'd be inspirational to ALL of these kids, and not just his own. If he loved them, eventually they would love him back. Love and respect go both ways. Wouldn't that make a better world?

RavVid · Answer

So this mom has four kids in all and one by this guy.

The mom expects him to support all her children (3 from other men) equally. How far does this go in addition to happy meals? Birthday presents, clothing, holiday trips, college?

It does seem an unrealistic expectation that he provides for all 4.

Emily_925 · Answer

I mean if it's like she's got 3 kids that aren't his and it's a regular thing it's jot really his job to be paying for all her kids especially if he's not got the money, plus the fact that that sounds like the dumbest shit ever for strangers to get involved with

Sarahr123 · Answer

Well I was raised to feed everyone at any place including adults so if I know there are 10 people then there will be food for 10 HOWEVER I do understand this man’s family politics but if you seriously do not at all want to do things for next man’s kids then you don’t marry or be with a woman with other kids. There are plenty of single women without kids whom you can start a family with and raise just your own kids.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Sounds like a shitty dad, that one.
I mean sure he's not required to provide for others offspring.
But I would feel bad for those kids and ashamed to be favoring one over the others. And like.. is he not thinking about what effects that will have on the realtionship between those other kids and 'his' kid. Thus is good for nobody but his wallet and ego.

Birdlegs · Answer

Why tf would he be obligated to take care of HER kids. If she doesn’t like it then give him full custody of his son. If she’s living off food stamps for her and her 4 children then she should make it easier on herself instead of trying to “expose” the man for trying to be a good father. Why should he be forced to take care of her decisions. That’s dumb fuck them kids give him full custody

BeMuse · Answer

He doesn't have to bring anyone food. He made a choice to bring his son food. The woman sounds like a dirt bag. The story sounds like a father that has stripped of custody rights for a kid he wants to take care of, while the mom sound like a hostage taker screaming more demands out the front of a bank when it's surrounded with police after she started the robbery.

lightbulb27 · Answer

some people are "A-h___s". e. g. selfish, and maybe limited in funds. maybe she shouldn't be with him...

I'd bring food for all kids, and it wouldn't be mcdonalds.
and those kids be picking stuff out of the garden and getting dirty...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Sounds like a passive-aggressive move to tell the other kids that his one child is "special." That special kid is gonna have the hell beat out of him when dad isn't around.

The only decent thing to do is to bring food for all the kids, or don't bring any food at all.

Djaay · Answer

First of all... why does, nt he have full custody of his kid to begin with? If not , then that meal is considered a personal gift to his child , not the mother of contention that's not reconciling the child back to the father , but using the child as a battle ground for warfare against the father. In this situation I'm on the father's side.

Avicenna · Answer

The fact there is even a discussion about this is ridiculous and shows the entitlement mentality lots of single moms have. No man is responsible for feeding another man’s kids, giving them presents, etc. (what happens in this family at Christmas?).

Moose304 · Answer

Think about these kids in 20 years. The hatred in their hearts for this man could be a serious problem. I know a man right now that needs his stepdaughter's help. After spending years making her life miserable she won't lift a finger to help him. I also don't blame her. I won't say what I think of the man in this article.

LazerBean · Answer

Why aren't the other dads bringing their kids meals too? You can't be mad at the only man who's doing his job.

Lycanthropic · Answer

I didn't watch the video, but I'm guessing he chose to be in a relationship with her. If they're spending time together, he should have brought them all food.

I don't really have any sympathy for men who choose to date single moms. Big mistake.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I just asked this question lol... I personally would have brought food for all the kids because they just are kids and are innocent.

Nevertheless, we have to be realistically, that young man especially in the economic times we are in can't possibly be feeding 4 hungry mouths day in and day out.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

I saw that video as well and here’s my opinion, if they were dating or married then I feel like that would be messed of him to only get food for his biological child but it didn’t seem like they were together so I think his actions were valid, would it have been nice for him to get food for all her kids sure but that’s not his responsibility and he offered to have his son eat in the car with him so his siblings wouldn’t see but the mom was still trippin

DarkCarousel · Answer

He’s not responsible for the other kids. However, if I were bringing food to a house for one kid, I’d just bring it for all of them.
Maybe the dad could take his kid to eat instead of bringing food to the house with other people.

Gloree · Answer

He owes the other kids nothing. Receiving gifts is a privilege not a right

purplepoppy · Answer

If he's living with them he should have brought them all foods.

TwiNshichamp1 · Answer

Please put an update explaining things clearly. Are this guys married with kids? Are they live together with kids? Or a total stranger passing by with kids?
If you put your question clear we could understand it and answer it.

Vegasrunner · Answer

I saw this video and I dont understand why the mom isn't charged w/ child neglect. She threw her childs food in the street. The only people rationalizing this for the mom are other women and simps but on planet earth no man is going to buy food for another mans kid and the fact that the mother recorded this thinking that she was "exposing" someone only shows how delusional and spoiled modern day women are.

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

Nope she don’t have any foodstamps because she didn’t use all of them and sold them so she’ll have cash that she probably spent on herself no man is obligated to care for another man’s children she is chasing off the only man she slept with who is trying to take care of his child

FictionalCharacter · Answer

Again, this is why I don’t get involved with people who already have kids from other people. Because there are more exes and parents drama than children drama.

Massageman · Answer

He's under no obligation to bring food for everyone.

That said, when we pack lunches for our events, we will usually pack our food, plus an item or two to share, but not a "whole meal for everyone else" per se.

peedy · Answer

When I grew up at meal time everyone. there are no matter who you were family, relatives, friends, the neighbors, the mail man it did matter grab a plate and dig in, even the cats and dogs get sone
So I say he's wrong he should have bought for everyone unless specifically told to do something a certain way dont let anyone go hungry

fonduegirl · Answer

Are they married? If so, yes he's in the wrong. If you don't want four kids, three of which are not yours, maybe don't date a single parent? This is why some people bluntly refuse to date single parents. Because it's challenging!

standardguy · Answer

Depends If the other kids were invited to eat or If they were invited just to play.
For example If they were invited to come to play 2 pm till 5 pm it was clear that it was an invitation without meal.
If the invitation was 11am till 2 pm then it's an invitation with meal

SkyCastle90 · Answer

If he never consent to becoming a stepfather, then he has zero responsibility to those children. Let the man take care of HIS child.

courtney06 · Answer

It's sad that this is even on the Internet. Those people need to have better communication. The whole world doesn't need to know their business.

Adam1978 · Answer

That not okay, you never bring in food in a group if you don't serve everyone. So you pull your kid out then feed him or her separately if you don't intend to serve the other kids. Ie the other kids don't get teased with any special food or candy.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

My oldest daughters grandma always brings food for both my kids even though the younger one is in no way related. She treats her like her own and I’m thankful for that. I feel like it’s disrespectful to not bring the other kids food tbh.

nitsuj86 · Answer

Fuck them, kids. The mom should have fed them. I've seen the story.

Does he have to buy them all birthday presents too? Pay for their school/college? If she can't afford her kids, she shouldn't have had so many.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

It's a bit rude but he's right. He's only responsible for his kid. Getting food for other kids is a nice gesture but not something he has to do.

Bratsondanielle · Answer

He's right. Y should he feed other people's kids? I respect him greatly

Kaamraj · Answer

Not my kids, not my responsibility. The state and the other kid's fathers pay you money to take care of them. Either order food for all your kids or give money to the father and tell him to bring food for everyone else.

Anonymous · Answer

He’s right lol!
Wtf, I’d feel the same way he does.
Why would I have to bring food for other BRATS that don’t belong to me. TF?

I mean unless he’s married and is part of the family, then yes you become their parent tooo

Dad brings food to only his child, ignoring the moms other kids, Is he right or wrong?

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Dad brings food to only his child, ignoring the moms other kids, Is he right or wrong?

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