Is there anyone here that doesn't have kids and doesn't want them? Why do you want them or why don't you?

Question

I personally find them irritating.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Put me in the want - and have - kids category.

In fact, believe it or not, I would have like to have been a father when I was 16. Don't get me wrong, I know what the data shows about teen parents and their kids. That is also why I have such huge respect for those teen fathers who stay with their child and, if possible, the mother of their child. These are good, fine upstanding young men and if my own sons ever find themselves in that situation, I hope that they act with as much integrity, even though the road will likely be a hard one.

That said, my high school girlfriend and I had a pregnancy scare when I was 16. There is no doubt, it caught be by surprised and I was not carefree about it. However, here's the funny part. I was psyched! I was going to be a dad and I knew I was young but I was ready.

Of course, when it turned out that it was a false alarm, there was a little sense of relief, to be sure. Still, I have to admit, I was disappointed. I was all set to hold my son or daughter in my arms and when I found out that it was not going to happen, there was a sense of letdown.

Still, I know in a way that I was ready and - again, at least for me - that would have been a fantastic age to become a dad. Since then, I have gotten four women pregnant. One had a miscarriage. The second had an abortion without telling me and I won't lie. I was 24 and when I found out what my ex had done, I sobbed. To this day I miss my little angel in heaven that I never got to know.

Of the other two women, I had one son with a one night stand whom I only learned about two years ago. Then there is my girlfriend of almost 11 years with whom I have had three children - two boys, both unplanned, and my little princess who was planned.

In the case of my son by a woman with whom I had a one night stand, she opted not to get in touch with me to tell me she was pregnant and raised our son on her own till about two years ago.

Then she decided, as our son was 12, that as he was becoming a teenager that he ought to know his father. So she tracked me down and a test confirmed it. It was a shock, no doubt. However, I am getting to know him and I love him as much as I love my other children. My only regret being that I missed so many years of his growing up. He is an amazing young man and although he does not live with us full time, he is as much a member of our family as my other three.

As to the three - two boys and my little princess - that I have had with my girlfriend, they (and she) are the center of my universe.

Our oldest - currently 9 - is a live wire. His life's motto seems to be - "Why walk around obstacles when you can just walk through them?" We are pretty sure that he was the first second grader ever to apply to join the Marine Corps and we are pretty sure he was on the team that took out bin Laden.

He is also ferociously protective of his younger brother and sister. When once his younger brother was crying, saying he was being picked on at school, older brother said, "Don't worry (name), I'll protect you." We were pretty sure he would, too - with a tank.

Younger brother is his older sibling's temperamental opposite. So much so that I've asked my girlfriend what the mailman was doing the week our second son was conceived. He is our little cuddler.

When I get home and the other two are flying around the house, he will climb into my lap, look at me very earnestly, and say, "Did you have a good day today, daddy? I was very busy today..." "Oh were you?," I reply, to be then regaled with the days doings at school. (He loves school and he loves his teacher.)

CONT.

BubbaSparkx · Accepted Answer

It isn't as so much as I don't want them, it's that adults get a little bit too carried away with the idea of them and mess them up, when they get older. Adults already way ahead of time, pick out names for them as babies, which is fine, but when they start forming opinions about them before they are even born and putting labels on them, that's makes for a recipe of disaster when they come along and get older, they tend to make them sociopathic and psychotic, plus, the one I can't stand is that you place kids with social workers and they start to have problems once the social worker creates problem, which makes you not to want to have kids nor want them, because there is a matter of the world being crazy and full of rotten people who are so bitter and rotten to the core that they have to think and do creepy and perverted things to children which makes it unsafe to have children, you're at an impasse about how to raise children with social media and constant violence and lack of morals. Gone are the days of grandparents and great-grandparents showing you the way.

Kaytiee · Accepted Answer

I'm unsure, I think there are great arguments for both sides.

My personal reasons if I didn't have children: I was raised quite poor, I matured way before I was able to be a proper child which led to a lot of trauma and not being able to fit in with kids at school, they were hung up over the newest iPhone, I was busy thinking about how I'd have to walk to the food bank to have food tonight, ask a relative for money so we can have electricity, and think of lies to give to social services. So what I'm saying is I wouldn't have children if I had a low income, an unstable relationship or it was very late in life. I have some mental health issues that I believe should also be resolved, you need to be happy with yourself before you want to bring life into this world and be responsible for it.

My reasons I would have children: Although they're irritating at times, I know I'd be a good parent as I'm very patient and would raise my children properly with love, a happy home, and a good balance of love, learning, understanding their mistakes and their education. A part of me would absolutely adore a small intimate wedding, and me and my partner having children. This all depends on my financial status, relationship status, mentality, and more. I would never be so selfish to just have kids without thinking about responsibility.

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

I really do not want kids. Ever! I spent 7 years and mega bucks getting the highest qualification I could, not to mention the lack of any social life for much of it. I have a very well paid research position and I will not give that up just to change nappies on a screaming brat!

MCheetah · Answer

I don't.

1. My genetics are dogsh*t (shortness included) and me preproducing would be a crime against humanity.
2. I'm perpetually single for life (see the above for reasons why).
3. This world is already awful and I wouldn't want to bring another human being into it.
4. There's a 50% chance that child wouldn't live to their 70s or 80s and would die in an Apocalyptic scenario instead.
5. Most people are assholes and I wouldn't trust modern American teachers around my child; I'd have to homeschool them and that's too much work.

Rose_84 · Answer

NEVER WANTED ONE, NEVER WILL!

Firstly, I hate pregnancy, it's so fucking unfair for women! You get permanent side effects and go insane.

I love my freedom and won't waste my life on some parasite that will consume my 20 YEARS of time and energy but will end up leaving me after having their own life.

If I do not bring them into this world, I won't owe anyone my money, resources, time and attention!

I NEED a lot of personal space, I appreciate good friends but I HATE feeling used and replaced (when someone is constantly dependent on me but will leave me once they find their own life). I won't waste my free time and hard earned money!

I would rather stress about my own life than worry about their future!

ethanallen · Answer

I never wanted kids. I had a childhood filled with violence, instability and fear. I just want peace. My therapist says I have civilian PTSD. I am happy that I never had children. My life has been so peaceful. Many guys end up being Dads by accident through unintentional pregnancies that either their partner or both did not want to end. I Despite having many long term relationships with women where I had unprotected sex all time time, I never got a girl pregnant. I later learned that I have an intersex condition which makes it impossible to father children.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Never wanted kids. Since 7, I knew for sure I didn't want any.

I've got myriad reasons, primarily that I just don't want kids.

The background reasons include health concerns (lots of hereditary diseases in the families, plus childbirth will likely kill me due to previous medical history), environmental concerns (having a kid is one of the worst things a single person can do for the environment - unless they own a private jet), financial concerns, and moral concerns.

I would much rather regret NOT having kids than have them and regret having them. My suffering is easy to handle, but it seems unethical to me to inflict suffering on my partner and child.

Plus I'm not interested in people who want kids, so, like, triple whammy for the partner.

dolemite89 · Answer

i feel like most have such a romanticized view of having kids that a lot more people wouldn’t do it if they got to see the reality of it beforehand. Then people say oh you better have kids or you won’t have any that cares about you when you’re old. There’s legions of people whose kids put them in a nursing home and are just patiently waiting for them to pass away so I call BS on that one. There’s so much to do in life make friends, go on dates, have a career, travel, pursue hobbies, help other people etc. Just have as much fun as you can until the wheels fall off 🤷‍♂️

river23 · Answer

Honestly I would love to have kids, I've always loved children but Im not ready and I haven't been ready to have kids yet but I wasn't given a choice in this decision. I was raped and didn't know I was pregnant till it was to late to abort. And as much as I wanted kids I don't have a partner I got pregnant at 17 and I just don't wanna raise my baby without a father whether it be the biological one or not and especially not by myself sense my parents kicked me out. I do sorta agree that others kids can be annoying not gonna lie there but still I've always dreamed of having kids just not this way or by myself in the situation I'm in either.

Lliam · Answer

I never wanted kids, basically because I didn't want the responsibility. When you have kids, your entire life is dedicated to them. I don't even think they are that cute. Plus, there are worries, massive expenses, and your life is not your own.

I had girlfriends from the time I was 16, but didn't even start thinking about seeking a life partner to settle down with until I was in my mid-30s.

I met my future wife when I was 40. She's 2.5 years younger. We got married two years later. We've been really happy for over 25 years now.

We had both lived full lives but neither had ever been married. We decided not to try for any kids. As time went by, we both agreed what we are happy not to have that burden. We've had a lot of fun over the past 27 years and have built a good life together. Aside from out pets, we don't have any obligations other than to each other.

Berethor · Answer

I would go with unsure, the reasons against it, I am not fan of babies, though when children grow up they are more okay, I am single not a fan of using the services of a surrogate mother and raising a child alone, also I am not having the best genes. The reasons for it, a relationship without children is fairly pointless in my opinion, I don't like women that lack a material instinct, and it can be nice to have a legacy, also having children is the main purpose of life, biologically speaking, so it means not to fail on the biological level.

cutie_angel · Answer

I actually want kids but under condition I can skip the pain and bleeding part plus getting major baby bump and stretch marks. I'm more of a person who will play and cuddle friend's or relative's baby and that's it. Women will probably attack me but I'm anti breastfeeding, I'd probably be disappointed that I didn't have a baby girl and the main point, I'm terrified by fact I'd have to raise my kid/s in a world where you don't know who is M and who is F due to now much louder and popular trans, queer and so on people. Plus, I worked so hard for 9 years to get rid of excess weight and finally look good and I'm like supposed to accept gaining weight that comes off hard and all hormonal changes? Nah. I'd rather adopt

NewsReader · Answer

No thanks. Too many reasons to list. The only thing that makes me sad about it is that my parents and grandparents are upset about my decision. Hope they don't feel like I wasted their time, money, effort, etc. raising me only to have it end like this. At least my sister who is not even a teenager yet might have kids someday.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

I don't want them mostly because the idea of raising them sucks, like I know how loud, messy and annoying they can be, as much as they can be cute.

The fact that I exist is bad enough and I'd rather never have been born, so I think they're rather not exist too.

Also, I'm short and don't consider myself to be blessed in terms of looks in general, so who knows how they'd look.

anon1903 · Answer

They're expensive. Pregnancy is traumatic. World is so cruel living is all suffering lmao. Overpopulation. We crappy humans are taking over the planet and everyone else is dying. I hate cleaning after anyone. I hate responsibilities. I hate being tied down. I hate someone totally dependent on me. These tits are for men who want sex, not a friggin child. Children can ruin lives, I ruined my mom's teeth because she's been having dental problems since she was pregnant with me and because of me her mouth is disastrous, because she was afraid meds would harm me. I can never be that selfless.

MelvinGeek · Answer

You know, nature has a funny way of changing our minds.

I used to think I didn't want kids, but age does something to you that will make you long for it. I'm not sure how it is with women, but I imagine when it does hit you, it might you the hardest.

Who knows. Give it some time.

loveslongnails · Answer

I knew from the age of 15 that I'd never want kids. For one thing, if they turned out like I was a kid, I'd have killed them. My parents were saints to raise me. For another thing, I realized it's just too much responsibility and I didn't want it, while there are plenty of people who do want it and would do it better.

What's truly annoying are people who tell me how selfish I am for not wanting them, but so what if I am? So what if I'm not "selfless" enough to sacrifice all that is required in order to properly raise a child? It's better that I recognize that and accept it than to just "have kids because that's what you do" than be like the millions of parents who really don't want to be and feel "stuck" with them.

Anonymous · Answer

I do not have any kids and don’t want them. I’m in the medical field and honestly just don’t have time for them so having them would make me feel bad since I’d be unable to be there for them. Plus, I really want to travel and do my own thing when I’m not working so with kids, that would only be more difficult

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'm undecided. But I generally lean toward "No," for 2 reasons:

1. They cost a lot of money.

and

2. I just want to be in a relationship with a woman who is compatible to me. And I don't want to tack on the added pressure of "oh yeah, and I want you to go through pregnancy, and then take care of a child for 18 years." Like, when I think of romance, that is NOT what comes to mind.

CloudMassacre · Answer

I don’t want kids because
1. There is no shortage of people and there’s like 500,000 unadopted people
2. I don’t believe the world will be a better place in 30 years
3. Expensive
4. Enormous amount of responsibility
5. I’d rather be a cat mon

Anonymous · Answer

The reason people don’t want kids is because of the dramatic rise in terrible parenting caused by single motherhood and woke culture promoting strong independent women and emasculating men. The government is playing daddy and literally paying women to be single mothers and rely on assistance. You don’t see this problem in Asian cultures or most other foreign cultures. They have kids, make sure they are disciplined and get a good education and work. The kids take care of their parents and even live with them their whole lives. The western thinking of children and learning has destroyed a generation. Anti-christian values is chaotic to child upbringing. Some people just aren’t fit to raise children and honestly aren’t fit to raise animals because they can’t take care of themselves. It causes a cascade.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I want them to continue my bloodline. I'm first generation American and my family sacrificed so much to come here and to me it's almost selfish to have that only be for one generation. Also there's wealth, I don't like the idea that the fruits of my land labor and capital would go to anyone else but my children

TransAm85 · Answer

I never wanted kids. I attempted to have some w/my husband, but one was a miscarriage and the other was premature. I figure that happened for a reason b/c neither of us are fit to be parents. He's a functional alcoholic and I just don't have the patience for kids. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom/housewife but.. there's many out there that live off the system making babies just to get a free ride! Where's my food stamps? I feel sorry for those kids..

Is there anyone here that doesn't have kids and doesn't want them? Why do you want them or why don't you?

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