My son made me pay for my birthday dinner... what do you think?

[AviatorTom]

I visited my son and his girlfriend during my birthday week. On my birthday, they took me to a nice restaurant for dinner; the food, atmosphere and service were very good. When the server delivered the bill, he handed it to me and my son said, "Thanks Dad." I was a bit shocked, since I thought my son would pay, but I didn't say anything and just paid the bill, with a nice tip. The next night, we went to a less expensive restaurant, and my son paid that bill.

Am I wrong in feeling upset that my son didn't pay for my birthday dinner? I would have gladly paid the second night's bill if my son paid for the birthday dinner.

[Amy10223]

If he made the plans himself for your birthday, then I would have expected him to also pay for the dinner. Who knows what happened? Maybe on that particular day, he was unable to pay for whatever reason. Maybe he was able to afford the less expensive restaurant a day later. But I would not delve into it.

For my wedding, I had a brother who invited his friends to the reception. Mind you--his friends and not mine or my former husband's. There were about 3 friends, maybe one more. However, he did not give me a wedding gift! I figured he was not in a good place financially, but to have the cojones to invite those friends!!!

[AviatorTom]

Amy, you always seem to try to find the best in people. Bless you!

[Amy10223]

Hey, things happen. I always look at both sides. :). Thanks!

[Amy10223]

Thanks for the MHG. Happy birthday (belated), by the way!

[Dazed0N0Confused]

You're allowed to feel like that, I would feel like that too!

Normally, I pay for my mom's cake & her birthday dinner is split between my brother & I. If we don't go out to eat, I cook.

My family allocates funds for birthday/special occasion dinners/meals, we usually try to get double what we think we're going to spend JUST IN CASE.

[AimeeKyle]

Depending on his age, I would say that is unacceptable. My kids are still in school, so I would expect that.

If I am in town with my grown kids and they invite me to dinner (and say it’s for my birthday), I would assume it’s his treat (unless he previously discussed it with me).

Me personally, I rarely let my parents pay for dinner even if it’s not their birthday (even when I still had college debt (amongst other bills/responsibilities)).

To me it sounds like he needs to grow up a little bit still (or learn to communicate batter). (No offense meant, just my outside observation).

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

This is wrong for a son to do to a dad, making him pay for a birthday dinner how I wish my dad was different and we were closer, I would gladly pay for his dinner but my dad is age 81 and we are not close which is sad. Happy Birthday wish you the best :) 🎂👼🙏

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Jenny-Marie]

I would have been royally p***ed off. If they took you they should have paid. If you took them, you should have paid. I would never have treated my dad in that way. It's impossible to quantify what he gave me over the 21 years of being a dad before he died.

[Dinklex3]

Aww.

Happy belated birthday!

It's understandable to feel some type of way.

Pretty bratty to be honest. Especially for your birthday.

I bet he'd be shocked if you tried that with him on his.

[nawtee_me]

If you were visiting him and you all went out to eat then he should have paid for both meals. Has he come to see you and you all went out you would have probably paid for both meals, right?

[AviatorTom]

He hasn't visited me since.

[TacosRAwesome]

If it was their idea, they should have paid. If it was yours, and it's your bday, courtesy says they still should have paid but it's more optional.

[exitseven]

No, you should be upset. For Fathers Day this year my son treated me to a nice lunch and an MLB game. It was awesome and I thanked him afterwards.

[RobT312]

Wow! Yeah thats awkward. I always pay when i celebrate events with my parents…. Annoversary and their birthdays and mothers/fathers days

[ElkaViki]

Maybe he thought you would want to pay, many men I think mostly a long time ago used to make sure they paid for dinner all the time. Like it's a man thing to do, I mostly only see it on sitcoms though! 😅

Maybe he was trying not to insult you by letting you pay.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what to say because I have a bad/tense relationship with my own father, but sorry that happened to you. I could see where that would definitely be upsetting.

[thatrandomguyagain]

hello. It's your birthday. You are supposed to pay it.

[Dinklex3]

If you take someone to a nice restaurant and its their birthday you are supposed to pay.
You're not supposed to let the birthday person pay, that makes no sense lol

[LovingLoverReturned]

@Dinklex3 lol 😂, I'm not sure if you are serious but that's hilarious a comment.

[Dinklex3]

@LovingLoverReturned It is hilarious. Imagine having someone take you out to a nice fancy restaurant for your birthday, then handing you the bill with a smile afterwards.

[OlderAndWiser]

Has he been a needy/dependent child during his adult years? Is he experiencing a temporary financial pinch?

[AviatorTom]

No, he has a good-paying white collar job. I think it was more his girlfriend... she has expensive tastes and he's not rich.

[OlderAndWiser]

You will always be the parent, and he will always be the child. . . until you are 89 years old, have lost all your marbles, and he is selecting a nursing home for you.

[jennifer_bloom]

Maybe he has hidden debts he does not want you to know about or maybe his girlfriend would not let him pay.

[Guy13]

Spoiled little bastard you raised... no offense intended.

[AviatorTom]

I think it was more his girlfriend... she has expensive tastes and he's not rich.

[Guy13]

Of course... I'm more important than Daddy. "I get half of you half anyway"-that's what she's thinking...

[SAMI_DABBAB]

Maybe he has financial problems but I understand why you'd feel like that

[slatyb]

Seems quite immature to me.

[purplepoppy]

He should definitely have paid.

[douride2]

I would be a little miffed to.

[NathanDavis]

is that how you raised him?

[AviatorTom]

Of course not!

[NathanDavis]

well...

[Dinosaursandanime65]

That’s so not Tip Top