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As a young mom I've had lots of people tell me that I'm missing out on my youth. This is something I just can't understand like what am I really missing out on?
Drinking, partying, college, being a hoe are the only things I can come up with. And honestly doesn't seem like much of a loss if that's all I'm missing out on.
If you are one of the people who "lived it up" in your 20s what did you spend that time doing?
I mean, that seems like the belief of a person who hasn’t matured yet..
It means-
They don’t know how to multi-task or make time for other people. (Yet)?
Instead of masses of strangers and party stuff, or hobby and team stuff- You have extra kids to grow up with, and watch them bloom (have some laughs), and give some advice, and get to say “I was a part of that.”
Then they possibly take care of you as you retire.
If you think kids are a nuisance and don’t know how to multitask- then yeah, it can be viewed that they’d be “taking away from your life.” [You’re already gonna die, so just be who you wanna be, with who you want to be with lol].
It’s certainly possible to include kids in your living adventurously. They then, model and follow after you and your views, until they see any need to craft their own, or break away and do their own for a bit, or they’ll just grow up living that kind of lifestyle (s) with you.
It’s also perfectly okay to not be a parent at 20, and so forth because if you wanna get dangerous and think you could die.. and be a bit reckless, then go for it lmao
maybe you wanna save up for something really expensive, and it’d be easier to do that if it’s just yourself. (*maybe, lol).
It really just depends on a person’s outlook, and what they want (/want to do/ get out of life).
Best of all to you 👌
My 20s were terrible. Now my life is better than ever with kids.
Depends on if the individual feels that way themself.
I think when people say that they mean that a lot of us are still trying to find ourselves in our 20's. Some of us still didn't know what we wanted to do/be and accomplish in life (i didn't know/start until i was 23). Instead of our primary focus being ourselves, it's the child. Not everyone is blessed with a significant other in the military with health insurance, travel opportunities, and a pay that only increases. Majority of my friends had kids with men who had low paying jobs living paycheck to paycheck.
Not everyone can afford or has the luxury of childcare so some put their schooling/continuing education on hold. My friends with kids of course had different priorities and couldn't go on any trips with me, certain activities, and of course had a stricter budget.
Regardless those same friends love and adore their children. They already partied in their early teens (know they aren't missing anything) and always have play dates with each other. Their main concerns were finances (working 40+ hours with low paying job), but found partners who help support them. If you ask them if they feel they missed out on their youth they'd say no.
So when people say that, i think they're referring to development. You have to "grow up" quicker.
What did i do in my 20s? Experienced college life and stressed about my future until 23, traveled, met amazing new people, made amazing new connections and relationships, went on amazing adventures, & was able to treat myself and others to "shiny" things since all of my income goes to myself.
My so is military but it is not at all a blessing. I'd be willing to bet more military lives paycheck to paycheck then a lot of other jobs out there
I disagree. You get a roof over your head, insurance, and health insurance correct?
& Yes, there's definitely a huge percentage of military living paycheck to paycheck. The difference is that it's salary. You don't have to worry about not working enough hours. You'll always get food allowance and you'll always get housing allowance. You'll always have your health insurance and generally dont have to worry about not having a roof over your head.
Health insurance sucks. I'm paying like I would with any other insurance to go off base. I tried doing on base and they literally almost killed me my last pregnancy so never again.
And housing really depends where you live like right now I'm lucky enough to live on base.
My bro in law that is stationed in Hawaii is currently staying with a friend and his wife is back at home cuz they can't afford to rent off base and there is no available housing on base. So him and his wife are literally homeless. We are army tho. Other branches have better hospitals and housing situations
What @Apple1996 says is true. And the working hours can be 20+ every day and always away from family and home.
@Charliefretz329 yeah exactly. What's worse is that they keep not allowing my husband to take leave. He gotta ton of days but can't even take them. Seems like the only time he's getting leave is if I'm having a baby. Other than that he ain't getting a break.
Like there either has to be a birth or death to get a break from working 😂
@Apple1996 I know these things very well. That’s when I have to stop and set people straight when they start implying that the benefits given to military are “free” (not even close) or “the greatest” (cause the medical is a straight gamble)
Once you’ve waited for 4 plus years for a necessary operation or had to punch out a corpsman to get a life threatening situation resolved you will know the reality
@Charliefretz329 a lot of people really do make it seem like the benefits are great but what the military really does is give out shitty housing/healthcare so that they can get away with paying everyone less then a normal job would.
@Apple1996 while some military members have nice accommodations and working hours; many do not and this is very true. Its welcome to the machine that chews you up and spits you out. Once you add up the “real” cost the benefits aren't nearly worth it. But it pays the bills far better than it used to. But it ruins lives and families
That's your choice as the option is there.
If you decide not to live on base, you get housing allowance so that you can live off base.
To say "it's not a blessing at all"?
It's not common for jobs to give people allowance for housing, additional pay for dependents, allowance for food, cost of living allowance, untaxed, ON TOP of your salary. If they are homeless then there is probably more to that situation than shared and they should raise that up to their command.
It's not perfect at all and there's always shady shit going on , but to claim there's no benefits and nothing positive seems pretty short sighted when there is a lot of resources that's given.
@Dinklex… we kill people on behalf of the American people. We follow Orders and have no rights to pick either our housing, our location to live and work, our medical care, or the time we can spend with our families.
Pay is much better than most Americans pay, I agree. But there is no freedom and the potential to be used hard and suffer both yourself and your family is very high. Some get a good ride, some don’t.
If you are jealous of the situation then sign up, give away your freedom and come kill people with us. Or marry a partner who you will rarely see who’s in.
We all thought it was glorious when we started. The truth is never exactly as it seems in either side
The propaganda doesn’t match the reality. The money is good nowadays but the other benefits can be total shit. And don’t get me started on the BS promises that the VA makes.
You get hurt in service, you get abandoned behind bureaucracy.
I’m all worked up now but @Apple1996 lives it and I know it’s true.
Period.
@Charliefretz329 Lmao.
I don't need to "sign up and give away my freedom" I'm already active duty. I'm well aware of my duties. I am in no way jealous and am excited to finally separate next year as I'm done with the military bullshit and completely burnt out and beat down.
As I stated before I was not arguing that military personnel dont go through dumb shit.
Just as you say you have "set people straight when they say benefits are free"
I stop and question someone's clear short sighted views on the military doing nothing for them or their families, when they have.
@Charliefretz329 Sadly they kill kids in civilian hospitals too.
I'm a "medic" in the med group and we're always briefed on sad shit like that and do our best to ensure trusted care and that shit like that doesn't happen.
It's a sore spot for me to hear dependents claim that the military doesn't do anything for them when they have food, support, and a roof over their head BECAUSE their spouse is serving working all these hours and spending all this time away from home in shitty conditions. So my apologies as well. My close friends have gotten divorced and conflicts due to their spouses not appreciating anything.
Good for you, I’m 22 years jaded and burnt out. Hope you find peace outside the service and don’t carry scars.
The military has definite benefits. But they can’t ever compensate for what they take. Its not possible, and everyone has a different experience so keep that in mind.
I’ve gone down range and found our junior enlisted living without a paycheck for over 6 months. I lost my shit with people for that…
I’m on my 3rd marriage as well.
I’ll never say the benefits are nothing, just that they aren’t what’s promised. Except maybe for airforce. I loved serving with them. Their shit is tight.
Also you gotta hand it to military spouses who are unable to be fully employed due to their spouse being called away and their family moved on a regular moments notice.
It’s seriously hard to live on a single income especially with kids in todays economy
I’ve met the best medics/corpsmen/doctors in my life in the military and also the worst. And you get only the care they approve anyway.
But yes the civilian world ain’t much better anymore that’s true.
@Charliefretz329
And that was my only point.
I am well aware there are sometimes people who don't get paid for months due to some shitty ass error (took finance 3 months to give me my BAH).
Air Force has it's hiccups and shitty situations as well, but we're definitely taken care of better than the army.
When treating, we don't think of what you're "approved for". We treat to the best of our abilities in our fields and want you to be aware of any other resources you have available.
I know plenty of spouses that are fully employed even while we're away. I have no problem with spouses who decide to not work.
Air Force berthing and chow are great!
I’m not speaking of medical care downrange, that’s par for the course. It’s the “free medical” for your family thorough a mismanaged military hospital that can be horrific
In my 20s I woke up and fell asleep when I wanted to. I took classes, played sports and engaged in whatever activities I felt like, when I felt like doing them. Any money I made, I was free to spend it as I liked, with only responsibility to myself to keep myself clothed and fed. I traveled the world, both internationally and domestically. I slept under the stars, met lots of interesting people, had many romantic interests and pursuits.
I learned lots of skills and had many adventures that would not have been possible if I instead had been a responsible parent to a child. I would have been way too occupied making enough money and when I wasn't working for money, spending my remaining time focused on keeping the child safe, nourished, clean and healthy. A lot of the stuff I did was inherently dangerous even for me to do on my own, because it would not have been safe for a child out in the woods, or in the dangerous situations I could find myself in where I needed to use my mind and strength to stay safe.
If the only thing you do with your free time is drugs and being a ho, then yes I would agree having a child is probably a better choice.
Yes and no!
I think some people will get the feeling later on of missing out all the fun stuff you can do while your youn because rhey couldn't
But on the other side it can also be a blessing having kids in your 20s. I will explain why...
If I look at myself being 33 years old, had a great time during my 20s, literraly did everything I wanted to do and especially party's left right and center I surely had a great time. But I'm at a point thats its now or never to have children and a family but I still find myself stuck in the same lifestyle I lived troughout my 20s.
Maybe that sound amazing for some people but I trully hate it. I thinking to myself over and over again where it went wrong and I wish I could try again to make a change. But I can't ofcourse and when I'm thinking wether it was all worth it to live a free lifestyle without kids in my 20s...
The answer is NO! I should have made other descision because I'm starting to feel old and lonely and I have no responsibilitys right now which doesn't help me change my lifestyle 😑
Opinion
52Opinion
I lived it up in my early 20s and was a mom at 26... I thought I had lived it up (traveled, sold my car and lived abroad, partied, etc.). When I had my first baby, I realized just how empty my life had actually been until then. My other mom friends were my age too and our kids had a great childhood.
Yeah I agree I don't think life really starts until you have a child. Before having my son my life definitely felt empty even tho I was young it still felt that way
Hey ☺️ I was 26 too when I had my first lol
@Alwayreckles93 y'all making me feel ahead of my time having my 4th at 26 😂
No worries babies are a blessing. Well I couldn't call conceive easy it took me a while to get pregnant.
I personally don’t believe that anyone is “missing out on their youth” or anything else because they decided to have a baby! Good lord a baby changes everything, including your priorities and and those things that single twenty-something’s who believe that a child is the END of their life, have no idea how biology works! Parents of any species of animal, would gladly risk their life to save just ONE of their offspring. Humans react so much more profoundly due in no small part to out massive frontal cortex! Truly… when you become a parent you won’t miss out on anything! You would gladly spend the time w/ ur child rather than w/ friends in a nightclub or a bar! Apple, if you are thinking about what you want out of life… I DO suggest having a child, especially if you are emotionally and financially ready! Good luck in your decision.
Yes I'm already on my 4th baby 😂
That’s fantastic. It must be wonderful to be blessed with a big family. Take care sweetie, ☺️
Yeah, I'm also thinking the same thing when it comes to women in regards to what "missing my youth" means. Personally, high quality people do not overly indulge in any of that. Also, everyone does things differently in their youth but in the US you have to do all of those things in your youth which is a bit strange for me and not the same in every country. For me, I workout, work on my career goals, etc. This is how I spend my youth, not drinking, doing drugs, etc.
Also, people do all of these in their 30s or 40s still.
Why do you think you need to experience those things?
Having kids is a choice and people who bash other people who don’t want them, are plain weird
Literally, if i rather spend my 20s smoking weed and sitting at home watching movies on my days off and working a fulltime job instead of raising a child, that is nobodys buisness.
Does seem like a American thing to live up your 20s. I just don't get the reason why women especially do that. I get men are busy building their careers so that's kind of different
Who cares what people do? Not everyone wants a family
@Brittanyroseee
You could do whatever you want, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't be considered a crappy human being doing certain things or not doing certain things.
@embracethepain whatever i do, doesn’t affect other people and not everyone needs to have a family either
@Brittanyroseee
You're right, not everyone wants a family and that's fine.
Who cares what people do? It's actually important, because people live side by side from each other and not secluded. A lot of people's actions can affect society and generations of young boys and girls in ways that aren't understood.
This is just the fact of living as humans in a conglomerate society or civilization.
You can smoke all day if you want.
Should you be criticized? Yes
Is it bad? Yes
Should young girls and boys follow after you? No
Should you stop? Yes
All of this is true and still you can smoke all day if you want.
@embracethepain however i feel like spending my freetime, if it means being lazy staying home smoking pot and watching movies, that is nobodys buisness. Who are we to judge other people based on how they spend their freetime instead of choosing to have kids?
@Brittanyroseee But people are literally judging her for having kids.. Sooo yeah.. I would say nowadays people judge you way more for making stable decisions in your 20s like getting married and having children than the other way around.
@JDavid25 and im being judged for not having them🤷🏼♀️scroll through all the comments. Someone is pressed because i told him my reasonings and he said none are valid and im selfish and heartless
@Brittanyroseee It is selfish though.. That's what's driving you not to have children.. You wannabe selfish and you are the most important.. Just own up to it.. I could see if you felt you just wouldn't be a good parent and so think it's best that you don't have kids, but most excuses are "I like my time to me and my freedom".. Luxuries that mainly people in the West get to worry about..
@JDavid25 it is 2022, not the midevil times. Since when is it the rules of planet earth that women must birth children? Wow! Andrew Tate! I don’t like babies or kids! And that is totally fine! There are tons of women who don’t like kids. I have 20 reasons why I don’t want them.
@JDavid25 admit you are a mysoginist who thinks women are breeder cows. A child would be a burden on me. Yes, i choose a luxury lifestyle over being a miserable mom raising children and barely having freetime or money to myself. What is wrong about me wanting freedom and money to myself? I can live my life how i want! There is far more to life than kids!!!
@JDavid25 babies are gross. Kids are annoying and obnoxious. They are expensive. They take away your privacy and time. What if the kid comes out severely disabled to the point where it will never be independent? Yeaaah hell no! Or the kid could grow up to be a school shooter or serial killer. No thanks! Or the kid could even end up murdering me!!! So many cases of child killers and kids killing their own parents! Also, I don’t want to have kids with someone cuz if they leave me, im stuck with their offspring and it will become a huge burden on me.
@JDavid25 i also have NO paternal instinct either towards kids🙃
@Brittanyroseee "admit you are a mysoginist who thinks women are breeder cows."
Girl... Lmao.. I didn't say you had to have kids, bit you are anti-Children.. Listening to you, I would hope you don't have kids.. You definitely wouldn't raise them with love.. So please don't have Children.. Nobody ever said you need to have kids.. If you don't want them that's fine.. Kids are a lot of work and take selflessness and patience to raise them right.. And it takes somebody who won't only see them as a burden and nuisance..
@JDavid25 thank you for finally understanding MY POINT OF VIEW. Yes, i would see them as a burden and waste of time. You are right, i would not be selfless. I won’t have kids, don’t worry!
@JDavid25 exactly they are A LOT OF WORK, and require extreme amount of patience and selflessness which im sorry but I don’t have that🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
@Brittanyroseee No you're finally understanding my point of view.. Never said you needed to have kids.. It's always a choice.. Nobody can make that choice but you.. You just keep going on and on and getting triggered everything somebody says "mother" and "kids" and going on an endless rant about why you don't want them.
@JDavid25 im not triggered, i just think people like you, who think women are selfish for not having them even though they have their own valid reasons, is weird and makes you almost like andrew tate. You know him? Yeah, you are acting like him. Women are not here to be breeder cows.
@JDavid25 i ain't wasting my life on crotch demons that i will end up regretting 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️have a wonderful day sir!
Okay, so I’m 24 with a 6 year old child. There’s really two lines to be crossed when talking about “missing my youth”. For one, I came into a relationship and became the only mom this boy has. I raise him right, I raise him well.
Yeah, I sure do miss the friends, the clubs, working a job till I’m dead on the bed, going out whenever I want to, allowed to be reckless with money, and buying something whenever I wanted to without having to think “is this going to cause issues“. Now that I’m a mother at a young age, I’ve only come to realize that I miss the spontaneous stuff, but in reality I love where I’m at and what I’m doing. Im doing things at 24 that I dreamed of.
I think that depends on if they chose to have kids then of not. And that really is the bottom line of that argument. Someone who chooses to have children is mentally prepared and at least someone aware of the task before them. I don’t think everyone is ready for that change and I think that is how we end up with all of the I’ll behaved children of today. Not that having children takes away life opportunities. But if you aren’t mentally prepared you won’t manage your time or finanaces or emotions appropriately.
Really miss out? No. My wife and I had our first baby when she was 22 and I was 28 so, yeah, I was at the tail of the 20s. But we didn't feel like we missed out on something. Sure, there were experiences we didn't have/chose not to have but not something we look back on and regret.
Yeah I hear it all the time that I missed out on my youth lol
You haven’t missed anything because where you stand now its where you are supposed to be
Nothing happens randomly
I don’t have and did not have kids in my 20s do I need to worry about it why I didn’t have one? No because it wasn't supposed to happen to me yet..
so don’t listen to other people telling you that and making you think and questioning your life. Ignore those people and don’t let their word vibrate to your brain and heart. They don’t know your heavenly/life scripture what’s meant for you to happen.
u In some instances yes. However not in the partying and drinking aspect. For example, my sister was studying to be a zoo veterinarian and she had been studying for 4 years was in her last year before graduating with her degree when she fell pregnant. She had to drop out of her studies and have the child. She’s now a mother of 3 with a husband, so I know she’s happy, but I know she also wonders what would’ve happened if she’d completed her degree and gotten her dream job before settling down with kids.
I spent the time getting established in my career, going to graduate school, renovating my house so it would be suitable for raising kids, and volunteering with political organizations. I probably could have done most of that with a kid, but it's easier before you have one. My wife is also younger than me, so technically she was still in her 20s.
Yeah makes sense. For my lifestyle it's just better to have my kiddos first. Can't spend time looking for the perfect house to raise kids in when we move every 2 years 😂
I don't know I’m 25 and now have baby fever. I’m settled down in life at age 25. I have my dream apartment studio. The dream decor furniture I wanted for my home. I have savings, stable job, just need grow my business next year. But other than that I’m empty in life. I stare at ceiling daily bored. I want be. Busy raise baby, celebrate holidays with guy and baby , be with each others family, that’s what I want now at 25-26 to be complete in life. I spent 15-24 just alone and I’m not party girl I don’t feel I’m wasting my 20s
Will provide a mixed answer as I didn't get married until 30 and my wife is 8 years younger. We ended up having our kids during her 20's. I don't think she thought then that she was missing out on anything and she definitely would not think that way if she looked back to that time.
As for me... I don't think it was me not wanting to miss out as much as I was immature so probably best I didn't get married when she did (early 20's). Then again I'm told often I'm still immature so who knows :)
I don’t think so no… I believe it has a lot to do with the individual and their own goals in life.
I am currently 21 years old, I don’t do the typical 20y old stuff such as partying and all… I’ve done that in my teens, I’m all over it. not saying that’s what I want, but I can imagine myself settling down at my age now, because I’m at point in my life where, I just want stability… but of course, I need to graduate first. and no, relationships have never and will never be a priority in my life. but that’s not the question😁
I guess it just depends on whether you care about that sort of thing or not. My sister had both of her kids when she was a teenager and not long after she had her youngest, she ended up raising some of her siblings from her mom's side. And while I don't think she ever cared about "living it up" during her youth, now that her kids are grown and have been out of the house for a few years, it's obvious that she just doesn't know how to live for herself.
On the other hand, my grandma had her first child when she was 18 and didn't start living it up until she was in her 30s or 40s and she says she regrets not enjoying her life/having fun when she was younger.
So, just depends. 🤷♀️
So I had my son super young, I definitely was not ready but I did an outstanding job all things considered, I did it on my own without family help or help from his father. It was hard and now he is active duty military and very respectful of women, already married to a nice girl. I got side tracted 😅.
You can miss out on some of your youth and for sure college would have been 💯 easier if I’d waited, but it was totally worth it! If you decide to wait or have kids young, as long as it’s the right choice for you, it won’t matter.
I think it depends on what’s most important to you and whether you wanted a child or not.
If I had a child just now at 22, I wound be incredibly unhappy. I don’t want kids (for now at least) and have other things I want to do while I’m young. I’m still figuring out what I want to do with my life, whether I want to go back to university or not, still trying to earn and save money, I want to travel, etc. Also, when you have kids, if there are any events like weddings, gatherings with friends, etc. you need to find childcare which isn’t always possible so you miss out on those things.
You miss out on sleep, personal time, certain social events, being free. Just not for me at all.
If you want a child though and don’t care about those things then you’re not missing out
Same i agree except i never want kids. It would be a huge burden on me especially if my husband cheated or left me, i would begin to resent and regret the child. Better to not have them! I also don’t want that responsibility. I also don’t want to spend MY money on them when i can spend it on things I actually like. However, god forbid if you don’t want kids!!!
I've never had to find childcare for my kids for any event. If they don't allow my kids I'm not gonna be friends with that type of person.
@Brittanyroseee I don’t think I ever want them either but I don’t know if my views might change as I get older. I just am not a huge fan of kids, they are loud, messy, get ill often (I have emetophobia), pregnancy is difficult, they require so much money and time. I really value quiet time and I don’t think I’d get much of that with a kid. I also don’t have the money to raise one. But fair play to people who want kids and raise them well, good on them!
@sunflower00 same, I don’t like kids either. I never did. I despise toddlers and infants. Babies sit in their own shit in a diaper. That is gross. Kids are obnoxious and expensive. No thanks
@sunflower00 i prefer animals. I also have absolutely no paternal instinct towards infants and young kids. Never even held a baby in my life. I prefer to not touch them.
@Apple1996 Fair enough, like I said it depends what is important to you and if you want kids. That’s great if you haven’t had to find childcare. I just mean if people are out in bars or having drinks etc. then obviously you can’t take a child, or some people might have child free weddings understandably, and some people would struggle with finding childcare for those things and would still like to go but would have to miss out.
@Brittanyroseee I don’t mind kids most of the time, and I do understand that they can’t help acting a certain way most of the time, but yeah I definitely don’t think I have the patience or want for a child enough to actually have one. I’m the same I’ve never felt much of a maternal instinct. I see cute babies and think they’re adorable, and I love my little brother who is 3, but I don’t like being around kids 24/7 and wouldn’t want one myself. I don’t hate them at all but I don’t particularly love being around them all of the time or love the idea of having one.
@sunflower00 it is strange how people like this, bash other people if they don’t want the same lifestyle.
@sunflower00 i literally don’t even find babies cute💀
@JDavid25 and that’s your opinion which is fine. Why should I have kids if I don’t want them? It’s not fair on the child at all, they deserve parents who really want them and would love to give up all their time to care for them. I love caring for elderly people, I love looking after my boyfriend and my family and if anything ever happened where him or my family needed a full time carer I’d be happy to step in, I love them. But I don’t want children right now, if that makes me selfish then I’m selfish I suppose. I value good sleep, time to myself, socialising with people, etc. at 22 years old and I barely get to do that as it is with my job so it would be even worse with a child that I didn’t want in the first place. I also want time to figure out what I actually want to do in life and would want to have enough money to actually raise a child. But yeah, I don’t believe that people who don’t want kids are selfish at all and don’t see how anyone can believe that.
@JDavid25 why should we have kids if we don’t like them? Why should i make myself unhappy? Since when is it required by planet earth to birth crotch demons?
@JDavid25 I would be extremely unhappy with kids. I don’t want to be a mom. I would be miserable!!!
@JDavid25 yeah bro I don’t want to care for messy screaming annoying kids. I don’t want a screaming infant in my ear 24/7. I don’t like babies or young children. I prefer animals period.
"But yeah, I don’t believe that people who don’t want kids are selfish at all and don’t see how anyone can believe that."
Most people who don't want kids are kinda doing it for selfish reasons.. Now, I can see if you don't feel ready for kids or don't ever think you can handle having children.. That's not selfish.. But saying things like "I like my time, sleep, and social life" is pretty selfish.. And you can have all of that.. Nobody is saying you should have kids especially in this day and age.. But I feel like you are trying to sugar coat it.. When really it's just "I don't wanna take care of a brat".. It's par for the course since American young people are kind anti kids..
@sunflower00 dude I don’t get these peoples obsession with children to the point they call other people selfish for not wanting them. Its weird as fuck. Why in the world should i make myself miserable and unhappy? I would literally regret and resent the child!!! It would be a huge burden on me. These people who believe all women should have kids are fucking retarted because not everyone makes good parents… they are basically encouraging irresponsible people to pop out kids they either don’t want or cannot take care of.
@Brittanyroseee Look IDC if you don't want kids.. At least you are honest about being selfish.. But, the reasons behind it are super anti kid, as if you weren't a snot nosed brat at one point in your life.. And then you keep going on and on.. It's fine, even if people are judging you, it's life it happens..
@JDavid25 NO I DONT WANT TO TAKE CARE OF A FUCKING BRAT! I CAN SPEND MY TIME AND LIFE HOWEVER THE FUCK I WANT AND IT SHOULD NOT AFFECT YOU AT ALL WHATSOEVER. I WOULD LITERALLY REGRET MY CHILD IF I HAD ONE BECAUSE I DONT LIKE KIDS AND I WOULD BE VERY UNHAPPY. I PREFER MY FREEDOM MONEY PRIVACY AND TIME TO MYSELF.
@JDavid25 my reasons are not selfish. Im not gonna make myself unhappy.
@JDavid25 my reasoning to not want kids
1. i have no paternal instinct
2. I just don’t like babies or young children
3. They are EXPENSIVE
4. They take away your freedom and privacy (yes, they do)
5. Most of the money you make, goes towards the kid
6. What if the child comes out severely disabled? Sorry but im not trying to be a caretaker for the rest of my life if the child can never be independent
7. The kid could grow up to be a narcissistic asshole, serial killer, or worse a school shooter
8. It is NOT guaranteed your child will love you like i said there are cases of kids murdering their own parents
9. I prefer animals🤷🏼♀️
10. I don’t find infants or toddlers “cute”
11. Kids are a huge responsibility
12. Kids are loud, messy, gross, obnoxious, etc
13. Im not trying to be embarrassed at a grocery store while my kid is throwing a tantrum
14. I prefer having a fulltime career and being financially stable
15. There is more to life than having children
16. Children are not here to take care of us when we are old. If anything i would rather have professional doctors and nurses care for me at a retirement home vs my child who will end up resenting me for it.
17. I don’t feel like putting my body through pregnancy and giving birth
18. I will regret the child if my husband leaves me, the kid would end up becoming a huge regret
19. If my husband were to cheat or leave me, i would never move on since i would be stuck with his offspring whereas if im married with no kids and he leaves me, i can easily move on and never have contact again
20. My reasonings are valid and should not affect you at all🤷🏼♀️
@JDavid25 yes im anti kid, always have been. I don’t want to deal with them. Sorry. Its year 2022, not midevil times. Im not required to have them. I would literally resent the child
@Brittanyroseee Your reasons are the definition of selfish.. Listen, you don't need to explain to me or anyone why you don't want kids.. Live your life Britney.. IDC.. It's also obvious you have a very nihilistic view of the world.. You seem like you are already kinda unhappy taking anti anxiety pills and anti depressants.. That's the feeling you give off.
@JDavid25 my reasons are not selfish 😂
@JDavid25 im very happy! I work a fulltime career making money, i have great friends, im going to paris next month to see my best friend. I love my life!!
@JDavid25 would you rather me have kids and be unhappy and resent the child?
@JDavid25 Its not selfish to not want kids lol.
@JDavid25 I’m not American, but if you read my comments you would have seen that I have more reasons to not want kids than I like my sleep and personal time, but even if it was just that then it’s valid. I don’t need to make my life miserable to please others…what’s selfish is people having kids just so they have someone to look after them when they’re old. Or having kids when they can’t afford it just because they want kids. I mentioned before that I don’t feel ready for kids as I don’t have the money, I’m too young, I have severe emetophobia and wouldn’t be able to look after the kids if they’re sick because of it which isn’t fair, but on top of that I also just don’t have the want in me for a kid, I want to travel, I want to live life with my boyfriend in a way where we will both be happy and not hate life (he doesn’t want kids either, certainly not now anyway). You’re allowed to want kids, people are allowed to want kids, people are allowed to not want kids and I don’t think they should be called selfish or be ridiculed for it as if it’s something you HAVE to do or you’re a bad person.
I love my 3 year old brother but he is so exhausting, and I couldn’t do that full time. My dad and his partner love him so much but he is a well behaved child full of energy and it’s still really hard work. They don’t get to do anything that they enjoy anymore and I think it’s important for me to do what I love to keep my mental health well. I don’t have the patience for that right now because I don’t want a kid enough to deal with all the stressful things.
Almost every parent will tell you how difficult it is to raise a child/be a parent…obviously it is rewarding and worth it for so many people but for someone who didn’t want one in the first place it’s like hell.
Please explain why you think people who don’t like kids or really don’t want kids should have them anyway? That’s unfair on the child in my opinion
@JDavid25 I’m developing my career, I’m considering going back to university to do a degree but I’m unsure what direction I want to take. I want to travel and learn about different cultures. How is it selfish to not want to bring a child into an uncertain life like that? I don’t even know what I want to do with my future yet, why should I add a kid into the mix and make it more complicated?
I don’t not want a kid because I want to do drugs, or sleep in, or party all the time. I wake up at 7am every morning, I spend my spare time (the little of it that I do have) learning, reading, exercising, volunteering, spending time with family. I’m not lazy, I don’t do drugs at all, I don’t drink often. I enjoy doing those things, and I believe it makes me a happier, better person to be around and don’t want to give up the most fulfilling things in my life for something I really do not want
@Brittanyroseee Your reasons are very selfish.. There's nothing selfless about it.. All I see are selfish reasons for you not wanting children.. And I already said "don't have kid's if you don't want to".. Which you aren't.. And well that doesn't mean you are happy.. It just means you have some things going for you.. A Full time career doesn't really make anybody happy.. LOL.. But, that's good.. Enjoy your life.. And it's not always selfish, but your reasoning is very selfish.. And that's fine, at least don't act like it's not and that everybody is against you for not having kids.. Trust me most people don't care..
You're young, so I highly doubt that's the end of the question for you.. You won't know what you fully want til you are mid to late twenties.. But yes a lot of your reasoning is pretty selfish.. And that's what bothers you.. Not that I'm telling you to have kids.. Cause I'm not.. And yes people can have children for selfish reasons.. They do it all the time.. But at the end of the day, if they love them, they ended up being selfless.. You can live your life.. I'm not telling you or Britney to have children.. Cause please don't if you don't feel ready or don't have the compatibility in you to love a little person.. And well much of the West outside of America is anti Children also.. Few places in the West accommodate or encourage having children..
@JDavid25 once again, my reasons are not selfish. I am happy. I would be unhappy with children. I don’t want to be a mom. What do you not understand? My friend had a baby last year and she regrets it. She literally admitted to me that she doesn’t want her kid anymore. Im not gonna do something that i know i will regret. A child is a huge lifestyle change and commitment that I don’t want to do🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️sorry sir! To me, a career is more important. I care more about being financially stable. I don’t care about having a family
@JDavid25 it is not selfish to prefer privacy, freedom, sleep, and money instead of kids. It isn’t selfish to not want kids because they could end up being severely disabled or worse, ending up being a mass killer. It isn’t selfish to not want kids because they are a huge responsibility and cost tons of money. It isn’t selfish to not want kids because I don’t want someone’s offspring in case they cheat or leave me and im stuck with it. It would become a burden. I have my reasons. They are valid.
@JDavid25 you are right, children require patience, love, and selflessness. I cannot offer that to them so therefore i will never have them🤷🏼♀️im being responsible
@JDavid25 sir, im done. I have a fulltime career i need to go to. Im also going to paris next month for 2 weeks. Thank god im child free and I won’t have a baby screaming in my eardrum for 10 hours on the plane. That is why im child free!!!
@Brittanyroseee "it is not selfish to prefer privacy, freedom, sleep, and money instead of kids."
Then what it is? Are you not having children for anybody else but yourself?
Selfish- (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
The reason you don't want kids is because you are chiefly concerned for your own personal profit and pleasure.. So by definition its selfish.. And like I said.. It's fine.. I'm not gonna address your reasons again.. Like I mentioned IDC if you want kids or not..
@Brittanyroseee Good because nobody is telling you to have kids.. You think me calling your reason's selfish is me trying to convince you, but no.. I'm calling it like I see it.. It's selfish.. And that's fine.. You have the freedom to live life selfishly.. You are doing what you want.. I didn't you weren't responsible.. You are being selfish responsibly..
@JDavid25 it seems like you view women as birth machines instead of human beings that can have their own choices and wants in life… again it is not selfish to prefer a life that doesn’t involve kids.
@JDavid25 i am allowed to care more about my pleasure and freedom over being tied down to a life changing commitment. Tons of parents end up abandoning their children because it was something they realized they don’t want just like my friend who admitted to me she no longer wants to be a mother. Im not gonna make a rational decision just to end up resenting and hating the child
@JDavid25 since when was it a requirement by planet earth to have children?
I don’t like infants or kids. I find them annoying, messy, gross, loud, obnoxious, expensive, needy, unhygienic, etc. Being a parent is a fulltime exhausting job and it changes your entire life. I don’t want that responsibility or commitment. I have my own reasons and they are valid. Im sorry you are just another mysoginistic male who views women as birth givers, not human beings with feelings. Good bye sir. I gotta go to my fulltime career which i LOVE and get ready for my European trip in 2 weeks that I wouldn’t be able to do with an infant.
@Brittanyroseee I keep saying that it's fine.. I don't think you are reading what I'm writing.. Nobody is telling you that you have to have kids.. Just that your reasoning is selfish.. And if you wannabe selfish and enjoy your life.. That's fine.. I'm glad you're not having kids just to have them.. Never said you weren't responsible and never said you needed to have kids.. It's 2022 and it's more of a surprise to see a woman your age married with kids than the other way around..
“The grass is always greener…”
Some people who have kids young feel like they could have experienced more of life if they’d made different choices.
Some people who prioritize education and career sometimes feel like they invested too much time, energy and money on the wrong things.
The real problem is people reaching the age of majority without knowing who they are and what they really want out of life.
If you do and you made the right choice, what’s the point of questioning it now?
@Chazmatazz269 this is really well said. Genuine wisdom here.
To each it’s own, I think with this kind of stuff there’s no wrong answer, but you are missing some stuff in my opinion. Stacking money is way easier to do in your 20s when you don’t have major responsibilities like having a child. Going on vacations as a young person is different as an older person. It’s easier to build yourself as a 20 year old with no responsibilities. In your 20s you have a chance of having a kid with someone that doesn’t love you (not always the case but highly likely) while people that are in their 30s having kids are more likely to have kids with a purpose.
Not necessarily being a hoe or anything you listed. I don’t have children and I never go out, if I do it is for work. I’ve never been to a non wedding or family event type of party in my life and never want to. I think the main thing is that I am so carefree and can sleep, wake and eat as I want. I don’t have to worry about being responsible for another person, arranging childcare, attending parents evenings, taking them to the doctors, feeding or clothing a little person. I can just focus on myself and put myself first.
People who say things like that 100% only say it because they low key feel bad that they did nothing but waste their time and collect emotional baggage in their twenties.
Yeah I've always assumed it was cuz those type of people are jealous that I have a family and they have nothing
I don't think so, biologically having kids is the most important life goal, also look at japan.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/06/03/japan-low-births-population-decline-2021/
Partying, drinking, and doing drugs (basically I guess what they call a social life) is what they are talking about... And at the end of the day, that means absolutely nothing.. You're still in your youth.. I wouldn't say I'm Living it up at all.. I spent most of my 20s being lost, and not knowing where I was going..
We had all our kids before we turned 30. We were usually the youngest parents in town. The kids are all done with college and living on their own. We are still young enough to enjoy life on the other end. I have a cousin who is my age and his kids are still in grade school. He has at least another ten years to go.
Nah... Like anything else, there are going to be good and bad experiences that you will have missed out on. Most of my youthful experiences as a single, childless man haven't particularly been experiences that I see any benefit in conveying to someone.
No, they're not missing out on anything. They're most firtile in their early 20s, so it's the best time to have kids. You also have more energy to take care of them. Good for you for being a young mom!
Of your list college is the only one I think you could make a good case for. Drinking, partying and hoe'ing are not going to help you later on in your life but college does.
College would have been a waste for me
If that "missing out on your youth" means going out to party, get knocked up by tons of people, and doing other dumb shit, then I wouldn't say you're missing anything, really
Just realized you already mentioned that sorry lmao, but I agree with you
To each their own.
I had a child at 39 years of age, too terrible, no matter what age I was.
I've seen young parents who relished in the role of young parenthood. I've also seen young parents overwhelmed by parenthood at such a young age.
Again, to each their own.
Exactly, its not for everyone and not everyone has to want them
@Brittanyroseee
Cheers to you!
Enjoy your life!
Let your children, should you have any, absorb your joie de vivre!
Did you not want a kid?
@nolabels there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids!
@Brittanyroseee
I agree. Once they are there, though, the responsibility for them is there, like it or not. That responsibility, to my way of thinking, must be adhered to. To shrink from that responsibility would be shameful. It changed my life in ways that I did not desire. Was it my fault, entirely? Hardly entirely, but yes, to a great extent mine, namely trusting my wife and the methods she says she employed to prevent such an occurrence. I should have been sterilized. I ultimately have only myself to blame.
I love my son. I also wish that he had never been born.
I don’t want kids for many reasons. I want to travel, spend money on myself, have a career, i love being able to do whatever i want whenever i want without being tied down to a huge responsibility. I literally would rather sit on my ass at home, watching movies than raising an infant. Having a child to me, sounds miserable. I want to have a career and make decent income to support myself. That is my goal in life. I don’t care much about kids.
It's fine if you don't want kids but having them doesn't hold someone back from doing anything you said. Parents still travel. Have careers, spend money on themselves. Kids don't make you stop living
Bless your heart, that sounds lovely. It's your life after all. What's your career goals this decade?
It depends on the individual and how well they are financially stable.. don’t speak on other women. I know women with kids who have absolutely no free time and are stuck caring for the kid and are tight on money…
@letuswaltzforthedead ah! Seems like you are one of those women who bash other women for not wanting or liking kids! I went to school for REGISTERED VETERINARY TECHNICIAN. Finished February 2020, been in this field for 6 years and been saving up money the past 4 years.
@letuswaltzforthedead not everyone has to have kids or like them. She spoke her opinion so i spoke mine.
@Apple1996 i would be miserable having a child. It is not something i want to do with my life.
You sounds like a very intelligent young woman and very put together. That is the reason behind my comment and I'm not bein sarcastic when I say that. I asked what were your career goals because I was genuinely curious to know if you had something more important going for you.
@letuswaltzforthedead yes i do, i have been career motivated since i was 17. Marriage and kids is not important to me. Being financially stable is, and if i choose to spend my free time chilling at my house watching movies and smoking pot, i can spend my time doing that
Well, I'm sorry you feel like that. If you genuinely feel like children would be such a drain on you emotionally and financially. I know this is a common lie women get told so I'm not even mad at you.
@letuswaltzforthedead im also being smart. I feel like for me to have a child, i would really need to have passion for kids. I don’t😂I don’t care much for them. I have no paternal instinct and i know this cuz my friends have babies and I don’t pay attention to their child ever
@letuswaltzforthedead girl.. its not a common lie.. there are tons of women out there who struggle with kids… its not for me.. I don’t want them🤷🏼♀️I don’t want that responsibility ever
@letuswaltzforthedead there are articles you should read about “why i chose to not have kids”
@letuswaltzforthedead i also find babies gross. I never held one in my life. I don’t want to deal with kids. They are loud, obnoxious, messy, expensive, they are brats, they throw tantrums, etc. It’s not something i want to spend my life doing. That is my opinion!!!
I've read articles, you're basically repeating many of the same points. I'm not going to change your opinion nor am I trying to, I just wanted to understand your perspective better. You do you, but I would recommend you dont parrot the same points of those articles because they make you seem stupid when you're not. For example, you saying that you experience no maternal instinct and that kids would make you miserable, those are good reasons.
@letuswaltzforthedead I don’t need to change my perspective on something that won’t make me happy… i know I don’t have maternal instincts. I don’t like babies or kids girl. I don’t want to deal with them. Like i said, i have friends with kids, I don’t pay attention to their child
@letuswaltzforthedead yes it would make me miserable. Why is it when a women says her opinion on kids, she is seen as selfish or heartless?
@letuswaltzforthedead you should just accept that not everyone loves babies like you… i prefer animals. I don’t even think babies or kids are cute. They peak absolutely no interest in me whatsoever. I find them unnecessary to have. Waste of money. Messy, obnoxious, expensive, time consuming. Its not for me, sorry!! Have a good day!!! Going to my fulltime career since i chose to work instead of being a mom
I'm not trying to change your perspective. Personally, I see women (and men) selfish for not having children because your choice affects humanity as a whole. Unless you're elon musk, Bill Gates, or some political elite, most people won't be remembered a while after they die. But the generation you create will outlive you, the kind of people being created today will out live you.
Take that as you will, since those are going to be the people you will likely be surrounded by in your old age of 40,50, 60+.
@letuswaltzforthedead oh! One thing! Im also prochoice, i would have an abortion. And doing so, would not affect me at all negatively because I wouldn’t have emotional feelings towards the fetus… im just explaining how emotionless i am towards children🤷🏼♀️i know I don’t have a paternal instinct. I have hated babies since i was a child myself. Never liked them!!! You can think im heartless but it’s my opinion 🙃
@letuswaltzforthedead it is selfish to have kids when you don’t want or like them.. many people have kids and abandon them. Better to not have kids cuz i would end up giving birth to it and handing it over to the nurse to say “take it away!”
@letuswaltzforthedead people shouldn’t have children to take care of them when they are old. That is selfish my love. Thinking kids are here for us to pop out to then care for us when we are old. Nah, i would rather have professional doctors and nurses at a retirement home take care of me rather than my unappreciative child who will end up resenting me🤦🏼♀️
@letuswaltzforthedead girl, I don’t care if my choice affects humanity. I actually hate humans and we are already overpopulated as it is. Im not a breeder cow.
I agree that having no maternal instinct is a good reason why you shouldn't have kids, I already said that. You dont have to justify yourself to me. I am also pro choice, I dont understand why you brought that up.
@letuswaltzforthedead should i explain more reasons? They are too much work. Expensive. Huge responsibility. They take away your free time and privacy. Not all moms have the privilege of being able to do what they want with a child. Many women struggle with kids and im not putting myself through that. If my husband cheats or divorces me, the kid would end up being a burden on me. What if the kid comes out severely disabled? I ain't caring for a disabled kid that probably won't ever be independent. What if the kid ends up being a school shooter or a mass serial killer? Yeah no thank you!!!
Nah. I’m actually a little jealous of the people my age now who had kids in their 20s and their kids are nearly grown while I have toddlers. They have their freedom back like they didn’t miss a thing from their 20s.
How old are your kiddos?
9, 6, 3 and 3.
Oh wow yeah they young. About the same age as mine
The 9 and 6 year old are fun but the 3-year olds are wild. They will be more fun in 1-2 years. 😃
Oh I disagree. I love the baby and toddler years! Kid years I don't care for. My oldest is 8 and I'm already hoping for the preteen years to hurry up and get here
Yeah, my wife likes the toddler age. It works well when one of us needs to watch two of them.
Depends
Did you wanna do other things that you personally regret now, that you feel like you should have had the freedom to do?
If not and your content with how you're living now and being a fulltime mother. Then your fine. I mean who wants to be a retarded druggie party girl anyway. If you noticed most the people who engaged in that that were woman are now fat, ugly and dudes most likely left them or their marriage is dying.
Honestly I think back if I didn't have a kid at 16, I honestly would have been in prison or probably dead. That would have been such a great mind wasted to the streets. Having a kid slowed me up a lot & made me start to think of If i should hang with the "homies" or not & the fact that I needed build some sort of life for my child so when she's older she has at least more then I ever did & more regular options unlike the options I had.
I spent that time working incredibly long hours to set myself up for the ability to support a family… I didn’t really party to much after I moved out on my own at 17. I would’ve made babies earlier but I needed a good girl for that…
Yes good girl is important when choosing a mom for your kids
Very!!! …
With a bad girl streak… 😏
It's a matter of priorities. If you find motherhood rewarding, then no you couldn't have possibly spent your twenties more joyously.
Most people secretly hate having kidss
My mom definitely wasted hers in having me
Awh I don't think most people hate having their kids 😕 sucks your mom felt that way
She loves to remind me it everyday
People have kids mostly for the society, but that's just how I feel
I do whatever the hell I want. It’s the freedom you sacrifice, I can book a vacation on zero planning, I can go to a concert without finding a babysitter, I can try out different jobs and move around without having to worry about providing for anyone but myself.
There’s just so much out there to see and do, and once you commit to the family you’re pretty limited
EXACTLY! I never want kids! I prefer my freedom, privacy and money!
Kids do limit your life
Umm I also do all those things you listed just with my kids. I take my kids to concerts, on unplanned vacations. Also move often cuz my husband's job. Just cuz I have kids doesn't mean I'm gonna keep them home 24/7 lol
Raising kids way difficult jobs than any freedom... @Apple1996 bro you're doing wonderful job.
This so cold "freedom" girls can't even dream of life you're living...
@savagewolf22 thank you and yes I don't think people really understand what freedom even means. I probably have more freedom then most people since I don't work so I can literally just pack up the car and go anywhere I want at anytime
Absolutely you're your own boss... so pls don't worry about this Social media freedom warrior...
You're my favourite here on gag for a reason...
Cheers.
@savagewolf22 not everyone wants kids!! It would not make me happy lol. Thats not the life i want!!
Ma'am it's your individual choice...
@savagewolf22 it is and y’all should stop saying the only way to life is having kids. There is far more to life!
Well ma'am I'm fuckboy n I know the truth of FREEDOM GIRLS...
so it's better we should respect both n move on.
Savagewolf22 my freedom is nobodys buisness!!! If i choose to use my days off to sit on my ass at home smoking pot and watching movies, so be it! That is more enjoyable than raising a messy loud child!
Okies fair...
by the way which pot are you smoking? Hukka?
@savagewolf22 marijuana bro
Awesome bro...
We're same 🤣
More power to ya if you can do it, but I don’t believe for a second that kids aren’t a major hurdle for doing that stuff. Can’t imagine bringing a toddler to Metallica, or dragging around the rugrats bumming around hostels in Europe or lounging on the beach in Mexico.
And army if I remember right? That doesn’t really count, that’s the same job in different locations
And no offence, but that’s only freedom if someone else is paying for it, plus you have to deal with the kids. Money stops and you’re kinda fucked
My husband is army and yes same job but not exactly. When someone moves its usually cuz they resigned a contract for a different assignment so it's a completely different then what they were doing that their previous base (some people aren't into progressing their careers so they continue to do the same shit for years even at different bases but bad for long military careers)
And really no it's not difficult to take my kids anywhere. We even somehow managed to travel during covid when most people complaining they couldn't leave their house
There are people that van travel with their kids and have no money so it's definitely possible to do with no money
@Apple1996 ya but we don’t want kids and we don’t want to struggle with them
Brittany you're seriously boring as fuck... keep repeating same old dialogue again n again...
Just shut your irritating mouth if you don't have new to say
@savagewolf22 i will say whatever i want since y’all think its okay to bash other people for not wanting annoying ass kids
@savagewolf22 fuck them kids!
Bash other people? 🤣🤣
Bruh don't comment when you're high with manjuana
@savagewolf22 I literally had someone tell me im selfish for not wanting crotch gremlins 💀💀💀but ok
@savagewolf22 *marijuana* go back to school
Aw maybe no guy on earth wants you either... no?🤣
@savagewolf22 awww because I don’t want kids or like them? There is such thing as men who don’t want kids either🤠FYI. Idiot!
Thanks for make me laugh 😂
@savagewolf22 *making* learn some correct spelling!!!
🤣🤣😂
Not for the ones that wanted kids. The ones that accidently have them I'm sure did
True but that could be any age for those type of people not just their 20s
I'll say this for you. You had your first at 17, right? You'll be 40s when your kids are out of college... so you'll have maximum income generation and still be young enough to enjoy it.
Yess exactly. I'll still be young even when my kiddos are grown
Partying with grown-up money is more fun than partying with early 20s money, lol.
The crazy thing is these single people in their 20s don't even have money to party with 😂
That's my point, haha.
"Drinking, partying, college, being a hoe are the only things I can come up with"
That's all there is and it isn't worth anything. You're lucky!
Actually having children is a part of a woman’s youth because women get to a point where they can’t have children anymore
Very true and men too
Don’t do that 🙄 don’t make this about gender this question was about women
I literally NEVER want kids HAHAHAH
Umm no. Read the question I very clearly said people that have kids in their 20s. Meaning men and women
Then may I give you an anatomy lesson?
@Brittanyroseee but don’t you want to fully experience womanhood?
@painusNdeeAnus no thanks! I hate babies and kids!
Im not a breeder cow!! Mysoginist!!
@painusNdeeAnus I don’t want to experience being a mom. It’s not for me and not for everyone and just cuz im a woman doesn’t mean i need to have them! I would be unhappy!!!
@Brittanyroseee well I just hope you change your mind before you lose the option to nobody you know or ever will know is going to love you like your children will
Take pride in your womanhood 🤰🥰
@painusNdeeAnus I don’t want to get married either sir!!!
@painusNdeeAnus it’s 2022. Women are not breeder cows. I will never have kids and if i fall pregnant i will have an abortion. Thats how much i do not want them!!!
@painusNdeeAnus do you want me to be miserable for the rest of my life? That is what will happen if i have kids.
@painusNdeeAnus by the way its not guaranteed your child will love you. Animals will. Humans are not innocent and always leave and fuck you over. There are many cases of evil child killers. There are cases of kids murdering their own parents!
@Brittanyroseee how do you know you’ll be miserable you’re robbing yourself of the experience?
whatever you have that’s more important than unconditional love from a person you created I hope you never lose it I’m sorry that you’ve allowed the world make your heart so fragile and loathsome your way of thinking is a defense mechanism you need serious therapy I truly pity you life is empty and unfulfilled with no one to share it with
PainusNdeeAnus because I don’t like children? What do you not get? I have no interest in babies. Never have. I never even held one in my life! I have friends with babies and I literally pay attention to their dog or cat.. not the child. I don’t have a paternal instinct
@painusNdeeAnus there are many women who have kids and end up abandoning them. Its not for everyone. I want a career, i want to be financially stable and to travel, experience life without screaming kids.
@painusNdeeAnus again, there are cases of children Murdering their own parents. Shut the fuck up about “unconditional love”
@painusNdeeAnus im not gonna risk bringing another Jeffrey dahmers or school shooter into this world!
Animals bring unconditional love and loyalty. Humans, are not innocent and do many horrible things to other human beings.
@painusNdeeAnus mysoginist🤮
@Brittanyroseee Not because you don’t want children but because you think a career , traveling and getting several new pets that you will outlive in your lifetime like I said you seriously need therapy
Your thought process and how you choose to live is not normal or healthy for social creatures like us
@Brittanyroseee im far from a mysoginist
only women give birth deal with it mate.😂 my wife never looked more beautiful than when she was pregnant with our little girl
@painusNdeeAnus ok, so i must have kids to have an enjoyable life?
@painusNdeeAnus your thoughts are not normal. I have my reasoning to not want kids i can list it
1. i have no paternal instinct
2. I just don’t like babies or young children
3. They are EXPENSIVE
4. They take away your freedom and privacy (yes, they do)
5. Most of the money you make, goes towards the kid
6. What if the child comes out severely disabled? Sorry but im not trying to be a caretaker for the rest of my life if the child can never be independent
7. The kid could grow up to be a narcissistic asshole, serial killer, or worse a school shooter
8. It is NOT guaranteed your child will love you like i said there are cases of kids murdering their own parents
9. I prefer animals🤷🏼♀️
10. I don’t find infants or toddlers “cute”
11. Kids are a huge responsibility
12. Kids are loud, messy, gross, obnoxious, etc
13. Im not trying to be embarrassed at a grocery store while my kid is throwing a tantrum
14. I prefer having a fulltime career and being financially stable
15. There is more to life than having children
16. Children are not here to take care of us when we are old. If anything i would rather have professional doctors and nurses care for me at a retirement home vs my child who will end up resenting me for it.
17. I don’t feel like putting my body through pregnancy and giving birth
18. I will regret the child if my husband leaves me, the kid would end up becoming a huge regret
19. If my husband were to cheat or leave me, i would never move on since i would be stuck with his offspring whereas if im married with no kids and he leaves me, i can easily move on and never have contact again
20. My reasonings are valid and should not affect you at all🤷🏼♀️
@Brittanyroseee they aren’t valid at all children are pure knew life if they’ll most likely be exactly like you they are blank slates but I’ll shorten your list for you
1. Im Selfish and Scared
@painuNdeeAnus ok once again mysoginist its not selfish to not want kids. I have my reasonings. Why should i have them, if i dislike them?
@painusNdeeAnus no children are not pure. An 8 year old boy in india killed his cousin. I suggest you google that. Many cases of kids murdering people.
@painusNdeeAnus many women end up having kids and they abandon them. Not all women are fit to be moms bro
@painusNdeeAnus I don’t want kids that badly that if i ever were to fall pregnant, i would have an abortion..
@Brittanyroseee imagine letting other peoples experiences dictate your life you’re oppressing yourself at this point
The more you talk the more I hear fear, doubt, and no accountability
@painusNdeeAnus it is important to think of the negatives when it comes to kids. Anything can happen
@painusNdeeAnus what do i need to be held accountable for? The fact i choose to not be a mother? Its 2022…. Why are you so pressed that I don’t want kids? I literally hate them. Why should i have them?
@painusNdeeAnus imagine judging someone for choosing a different lifestyle. It’s 2022, its not the midevil times… its not selfish bro. What is selfish is to have kids I don’t want and that I won’t love. Once again, many people are parents and are terrible at it. So stop encouraging that everyone has them!!!
@painusNdeeAnus im not a breeder cow. I will gladly have an abortion if i ever fall pregnant. That is how much i really do not want crotch demons. Stop being a judgmental piece of shit!!! Andrew Tate!!!
@Brittanyroseee you shouldn’t hate anyone
Such a dull girl ( I’m using the term girl maliciously because a real woman would never behave in such a shameful way who raised you they need their ass kicked) you are.
@painusNdeeAnus many women dislike children… so im supposed to like them? Honestly fuck off!
@painusNdeeAnus just because im not popping out crotch demons doesn’t make me less of a woman you piece of shit!
@painusNdeeAnus babies are ugly and gross. Animals are cute!!! Bye!!!
@Brittanyroseee then don’t have sex you are mature enough to handle the consequences like a real woman
@painusNdeeAnus I won’t stop fucking my boyfriend:) and i can just abort the thing! It’s like taking the trash out on a Thursday morning! Yes im prochoice and yes im a bitch and you are a mysoginist!
@painusNdeeAnus people can get pregnant on contraceptives. No way in hell im “dealing with the consequence” tell married couples who decided to not want kids, to stay abstinent from sex. Yes, child free married couples exist! My brother and sister in law HATE kids and instead have a bunch of pets!!!
@Brittanyroseee that makes no sense at all pets are just as inconvenient and why are you performing a reproductive act if you don’t want kids?
@painusNdeeAnus and kids are also unnecessary and inconvenient 🤷🏼♀️ each to their own. We like different things. Why is what i do affect you so much?
@painusNdeeAnus its 2022. People have sex for pleasure these days. Tell married couples who chose to be child free, to be abstinent.. you seriously sound very arrogant and im done talking to you.
@Brittanyroseee they’re married they don’t have to be abstinent
And you sound like a lazy mysogynist Who is against women who want to be feminine submissive barefoot and pregnant
Maybe if you lost a few pounds you’d feel better im sorry you’re so unhappy
@painusNdeeAnus doesn’t matter if im married or not. I live in a free country where i can fuck my boyfriend as much as i want. Im also in a state where abortion is LEGAL. Im sorry you are so damn miserable that you bash other women for simply choosing to not be a mom.
@painusNdeeAnus im extremely happy with my life! I have a fulltime career doing what i LOVE, i have 40k in my savings, im going to paris next month to see my best friend, i have great friends. I love my life! I don’t need kids to be happy. If anything you are the miserable one for being so judgmental about other people’s lifestyle choices.
@painusNdeeAnus ah! The fat comments! What are you? 12 years old? Grow up!
@painusNdeeAnus my life should not affect you at all whatsoever. Rapist. Mysoginist.
@painusNdeeAnus im the opposite of “lazy” im extremely career motivated, money obsessed and a workaholic. You think im lazy because I don’t want to sacrifice my life, money, freedom, and career for crotch demons. I would literally have an abortion if i ever ended up pregnant. Why? Cuz i would not give a damn about the thing. There would be no emotional ties towards it. So why should i have kids? Again I don’t like them🤷🏼♀️ I can’t help what i like and don’t like. Im also not gonna stop fucking my boyfriend either sir.
@painusNdeeAnus to you, pets are inconvenient. That is fine! To me, kids are inconvenient! We have different views! I also hate human beings🤷🏼♀️so why would i birth any? Humans are cruel. They are not innocent. Animals are innocent and loyal. Im not trying to birth the next school shooter or the next Jeffrey Dhamers.
@painusNdeeAnus good bye andrew tate!!! Im done! Im being child free and “selfish” until i die because it’s my life and i can live my life how i want to!!!
@Brittanyroseee you’re still on about this? Happy people never have to say it😂 you do realize people have what you have and more with children I’ll be spending my birthday in Argentina with my family I’m sorry I triggered you so much
@painusNdeeAnus im triggered? I think YOU are triggered 😂 you are the one who keeps going on about it, im just responding to your piece of shit comments
@painusNdeeAnus im going to paris next month! I will be on the plane without a SCREAMING child in my ear for 10 fucking hours:)
@painusNdeeAnus not everyone lives a luxury life with kids bro.
So glad im child free! Never having them! Prochoice!!!
@Brittanyroseee you literally stalked my posts 😂 like I said sorry you’re so triggered
@painusNdeeAnus yes I stalked your page to see what type of piece of shit you are and you are a confirmed rapist since you think you don’t need a girl to consent to sex
@painusNdeeAnus i think you are triggered by my lifestyle choice to not have crotch gremlins
And by the way Apple1996 it’s not true for men male bodies make sperm and semen nonstop as long as we aren’t shooting blanks we can have children 9 times out of 10 when couples can’t conceive it’s because of the woman
It's actually 40% of the time infertility is caused by the man. y'all sperm count decreases every year after the age of about 22. And no shooting blanks isn't common but low sperm count is the problem.
theconversation.com/.../male-fertility-how-age-affects-mens-chances-of-having-children-156411
Sperm count can be increased infertility in men can be reversed
extendfertility.com/.../
doctors estimate that women lose up to a thousand additional follicles each month thanks to natural cell death If you're counting that's up to 1,021 eggs lost each month Even if you're pregnant, on birth control, or otherwise not ovulating
Women need to lose those eggs or else they will never go into menopause. It's a good thing. Same with men loosing their sperm count. We can't have a bunch of oldies having childern. That's not natural lol
You don’t seem to understand or at least refuse to acknowledge ( for some reason) that women get to a point when they lose all their eggs and can no longer reproduce as for men our sperm count just decreases it doesn’t go away our bodies still make tens of thousands of sperm at 51 while women have no eggs at 51
We aren't meant to live past 50-60 so it's useless to keep reproducing past that age. And honestly I'd never have a kid with a man past 30 cuz of autism risk. That's just me tho everyone else who can deal with those types of kids are free to have them when they are old
Where tf do you live where the average life expectancy is 50 to 60 😂
Autism is hereditary age has nothing to do with it
Older fathers produce more kids with autism. And still even without risk I don't want my kids having a old dad
And no realistically that's how long we are suppose to live. Now a days we have medical and technology to lengthen that time but still not perfect. Most people only live until 70s
40 to 80 percent of all Autism is genetic
medlineplus.gov/.../
You could have a baby with a 17 year old guy and your baby will still have autism if it’s in your family gene pool this is 5th grade biology ma’am
Also are you implying autistic people don’t deserve a chance at life?
If a man is over 35 he has a 2-3x greater chance of having a autistic child. You can look into it more if you look up does fathers age increase chance of autism.
And nah I have no problem with people with any issues but I'm not trying to purposely create a child like that has a increased chance at anything. That's just fucked up to choose that for your own kids
Smh it’s like talking to a brick wall
You clearly have no clue how male anatomy and biology works
why do you care so much that men can still have healthy children at an advanced age?
Because they can't. They have autistic kids or kids that have other issues.
And nah I'm extremely educated on this. My in laws had a accidental baby at 39 and 45(vasectomy stopped working, they weren't just being irresponsible) but I took care of their son from ages 1 to 5 and had to constantly watch out of autism and adhd symptoms in him since that's what happens with having old parents.
Also like I said me and my husband were raising him during those toddler years since my in laws were too old to care for him
How old was this woman that gave birth?
Mil was 39 but they were worried because of my fil being 45
Do you know what the number 1 cause of infertility is?
Pcos/endo problems for women and low sperm counts for men.
I have pcos but have the problem of being too fertile. It goes both ways can either ovulate to much or to little
Nope not low sperm count low sperm count men still have many children it’s sperm quality due to lifestyle or genetic sperm disorder that’s the issue it doesn’t go both ways
Seriously why does it bother you so much that men can have children at any age
Genghis khan fathered hundreds of children well into his 50s
sultan ismail ibn sharif had 888 children well into his 70s
This is why so many women whine about men wanting younger women they’re prettier and more fertile
If men just had kids when they're suppose to they wouldn't want younger women. And this for sure ain't my husband cuz he's glad I'm getting older and in a few years we will be completely done having kids.
I think guys who go after younger women are just behind in life
Also it doesn't bother me I'm just stating basic facts that men don't stay fertile forever especially now a days
Why did you feel it necessary to bring that up as if it were a contest?
by the way successful guys go for younger women because they want children
Let’s pretend science is wrong and men dont stay fertile forever
Would that bother you? And why?
Is it because you think it’s unfair?
You’re confusing low sperm count with no sperm count
Male bodies have an infinite number of sperm
It bothers me cuz they're creating kids that have issues. I'm not fan of parents having kids past 30-35. Like I already said I dealt with this first hand having to raise a child that was born to older parents.
In a world where that didn't happen then it wouldn't be a big deal
No the way things are currently are perfectly pair. Men and women stop being fertile around the same ages
fair* not pair
You are really uneducated about sperm count. It's gone down 50% just in the last 30-40 years regardless of age men are fucked due to environmental reasons
Having a low sperm count doesn’t mean you’re infertile
You do realize anything less than 15 million per milliliter is considered low right?
anywhere from 42 to 56 years old a woman can no longer have children
Women lose 90% of their eggs by or before age 30 https://www.ed.ac.uk/news/all-news/ovaries-280110
Male fertility doesn’t begin to decrease until after age 35 sperm production decreases it doesn’t stop
Everyone has issues that’s no reason to not have children
children born to older fathers are likely to have a higher I. Q. compared to those born to younger parents. Additionally, kids born to older parents exhibited a stronger focus in pursuing their interests and more self-confidence than those born to younger parents.
www.givelegacy.com/.../#toc-1475426-2
My first child wasn't born until I was 37, but I don't think I would have minded having kids in my 20s, so, no I wouldn't agree with that statement.
They're just trying to impose their 3rd wave feminist doomer pov. On you. You'll be young enough to actually enjoy your empty nest when the kids are a bit older.
Live your life the way you like, other people should take a hike.
"Youthful" activities are all so dumb. It's ridiculous how much glory is put on them, to the point where people who don't do them are looked down on. I've done all those things and they're a total waste of time and energy. The most important thing you'd be missing out on is studying in college, but you can go later in life, and even then a lot of people consider THAT a waste of time.
Don't listen to them you do you girl. Later no guy will want them as a 30 year old. Believe me.
Not at all, your body is supposed to give birth during your 20s. Plus, having kids is what you make it so it depends on the person.
It's better to raise children in your useful years. I had my children later in years. I had a difficult time with small infants. It's kind of hard for me to figure out what's going on with a crying child.
I had my daughter when I was 27 and my hubby was 22. We don’t feel like we missed out on anything.
I had my first child at 24 and would change it for the world. It's amazing being a mother.
I've run into either your wired to wanting a family or you are not. Its as simple as that. Missing out on youth? I wouldn't say so, Im sure young moms still get out and let loose.
No. People just can't tell you how you should live your own life. I'd actually want to have babies in my 20s.. You go girl. ✨
Oh for sure. But that's just my view on kids.
If I was gonna have one ever it wouldn't be another person I put in this world that has to many anyway it would be adoption and I would be much older than I am now.
I didn't "live it up" in my 20s, but I didn't have any kids. So I don't think kids factor that much into it. If you really want to do something, you'll find a way to do it.
Your youth is over at 20. Time to start behaving like an adult. Nobody looks back over their life and says "I wish I'd spent more time partying and taking drugs."
Not necessarily, I have a daughter and I still drink and party but I just know not to go overboard and to be more responsible because I’m have a baby dependent on me
Being a Dad early actually prevented me from wasting my youth time on trivialities.
No, it's best for a young mom to have kids when you're young
They just have a different youth.
I'm 50 now and my son is 4. Health complications stopped us having him earlier but now I'm recovered I'm loving having him around. I do wish I was ten years younger though!
Yes. But it’s more having the opportunity to become more worldly, mature. Older parents raise smarter kids, if it’s not solely based off genetic luck.
Or having to raise selves because young parents are absent.
I had the opposite. Had to raise myself cuz my parents were older. My siblings got all my parents younger good years and didn't have to grow up that way
My parents were older and did a better job for it. It’s a tough question. It does really depend on the individuals.
I think they get to be grandparents when they still have the energy to enjoy them.
25-30 is the normal age to have kids. Parents should have power in the years their kids are still young!!
No because some women as you say want to be a mother and have a family 😊
People in their twenties are considered young adults. They are no longer youths.
Youth to me are people pre 16 years old. When your responsibilities are mowing the grass and keeping your room clean!
It's all about lifestyle you choose...
Everyone have different view on life.
Do whatever makes you happy.
You can also add your opinion below!
