If parents spoiled a child too much, are they creating a monster?

[Anonymous]

My older cousin (lets call her Bailey) is 25 years old and she has little empathy towards others. She apparently is stuck living a world free of consequences and responsiblities; used to getting what she wants. She hates apologizing.

When she was a toddler, my aunt and uncle used to spoiled her. She's their only child. When she was between 3-5 year-old, she would sometimes throw herself on the floor, scream and kick until her dad bought her the dress or toys she wanted and took her to KFC. My uncle used to find it cute and funny and my aunt did nothing, just follow through. They basically gave her love and practically everything she ever wanted.

If parents love their child too much that they spoiled them are they creating monsters? Did they ruined her?

Updates

1 y

The parents tried doing the ''cuddling and I'll be your best friend'' approach. Now they regret it and wondering if they've created a monster.
They can't understand why she's like that if they gave her love and everything she wanted, nothing was missing in the house.

[Anonymous]

As parents, we should love our children endlessly. It gives them a sense of worth and they know they are lovable.
However, we also have a responsibility to socialise them, and ready them for adult life. It sounds like the child's behaviour is not acceptable as a child or adult.
As such her parents may have done her and society a disservice.
But saying that, she has responsibility for her actions.
Children are born with personality and values, some of which we encourage, and some we do not.
We cannot blame the parents for her unwillingness to learn or compromise.

[Asker]

yeah she acts so entitled and yet there are people that didn't have that luck of having her parents, whom are responsible folks.
She should be feeling grateful and lucky to have great, loving parents who gave her everything and didn't even yell at her.

[exitseven]

if a paretn does everything for a kid they lack importand coping skills for life in the outside world. I guess if they are rich enough to set up a trust fund so the kid can be a "social advocate" or a "environmental rights specialist" or whatever it is these losers do/.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[irifebeck]

Most definitely, children who grow up spoiled have no limits and boundaries because their parents didn't set it up for them. I also have a cousin who's like that and she's absolutely insufferable and my whole family gets made at my aunts family for not being more strict and for endlessly spoiling her. Most of the time, kids learn the hard way from schoolmates or other people.

[Brando10222]

Yeah, they are the reason for her behaviour

[Asker]

I find it interesting that if she had been raised by Mexican or Caribbean parents, she would suddenly show more appreciation and love for them and other people (likely be an adjusted and responsible adult) but most people don't behave trashy if the parents are loving, kind, don't even yell at you and gave you everything.

[Brando10222]

Only if its not a lot. A lot of anything is too bad

[Asker]

Interesting how people like someone with authority but that also shows kindness. They don't like a doortmat that's always nice and your friend.

[Brando10222]

I didn't understand your last message

[Asker]

If parents are always nice, give you everything and act like your friends, the child doesn't respect them and grows up thinking they own the world.
If the parents are in between, nice but with strict rules and know when not to put up with BS, all the sudden the child respects them more and is a better adult.

[Brando10222]

Yeah, exactly! Correct

[Asker]

yet I'm willing to bet children who had to deal with abusive or neglectful parents would give anything to have my cousin's parents. They would've wanted super nice parents.

[Brando10222]

Some yeah no doubts. Especially the ones who are jealous of others cause they didn't have it

[LazerBean]

Definitely.

[Asker]

Now they regret it and can't understand how she can be like that if they gave her love and everything she wanted.

[In_Trance]

kind of

[Asker]

I find it shocking that more people developed into adjusted, responsible adults when raised with parents that don't put up with BS and are very strict vs parents that provide love, are nice, don't even yell at you and gave you everything