I'm 25 and I still hate mom?

[Anonymous]

I'm 25. Since I was kid and teen girl, my mom was abusing me by saying "Your dad doesn't love you" "He doesn't see you as his child" "Your dad wouldn't take care of you if I wasn't sleeping with him"

She made me believe I'm worthless, unlovable and very insecure woman. She physically abused me, too. I definitely have no bond with her. I indeed disgust her.

I thought my hate will fade away by time but as l grew older, by my hate only grows because I learned how to love, to be compassionate, be caring. And I realized how fucked up person she is. I still feel uncomfortable when I'm talking to her.

I live separate, I make my own life. But she's the only family member I have. I'm totally lonely. I don't want to be alone. But Whenever I see her face I disgust her. She's total bitch, narcissistic abuser

What's your opinions?

[MrOracle]

While it's horrible to be in that position, it is also completely understandable. Your mother is indeed a horrible person, and did not set you up to succeed, so staying away from her is the best thing you can do.

How about your father? Do you not have a relationship with him? It sounds like she didn't want you to see him, and may have driven him away, but he may want to know you. Fathers often have few rights when the mother does those things, and he may not have been able to afford the lengthy and expensive court battle.

[Asker]

Yes, she did try to make us enemies. But he was an asshole too. Only times I saw him, he was coming our home to have sex with mom and leave. I've never spent time with my dad. I stopped talking to him 2 years ago. He was unneeded. He reminds me my worthlessness too. Normally, I must have "daddy issues" ( as my mom wanted ) But I ironically hate my mom than my dad.

[MrOracle]

It's important to understand that YOU are not worthless, despite your mother's best efforts. You have already succeeded far more than most in your situation, which shows that you are strong and tenacious and determined, which is fantastic. That doesn't mean that you won't struggle at times, and getting some therapy would certainly be helpful, but never think of yourself as worthless or less than - you are not those things.

The best revenge you could ever have is to build a quality, stable family and to raise your own children the right way.

[Anonymous]

Stay away from her and remind yourself that she doesn’t define you at all, in any way. God is your parent, not her.